On Attachment

In today's episode, I’m sharing five communication and conflict mistakes that I often see people making in relationships and what you can do instead to bridge a positive connection with your partner.

We'll cover:

• Why we shouldn’t avoid the hard conversations
• What happens when we suppress our emotions
• How to express your desires with your partner
• Why we shouldn’t expect our partners to be mind readers 

Highlighted Links

• Free Break-Up Training: The 3 Shifts That Help Anxiously Attached People Heal After a Break-up
• Free Training: How to Heal Anxious Attachment and (Finally) Feel Secure in Life & Love

Additional Resources

• Download the FREE Anxious Attachment Starter Kit here
• Join my email list 💌
• Explore my library of free guides, classes & meditations
• Visit my website

Cheating within relationships can cause so much pain, grief and sensitivity around betray and infidelity. In today's Q&A style episode, I’m sharing my thoughts on if people can really change if they’ve cheated in the past and advice for people in the situation with concerns that their partner may not stay faithful.

We'll cover:

• Learning from mistakes
• The messy feelings that lead to infidelity
• Tending to needs that aren’t being met
• Expressing self awareness and regret

Highlighted Links

• Free Break-Up Training: The 3 Shifts That Help Anxiously Attached People Heal After a Break-up
• Free Training: How to Heal Anxious Attachment and (Finally) Feel Secure in Life & Love

Additional Resources

• Download the FREE Anxious Attachment Starter Kit here
• Join my email list 💌
• Explore my library of free guides, classes & meditations
• Visit my website

In today's episode, I'm talking with NY-based coach, teacher and speaker, Connor Beaton about the challenges men are facing in our modern society. Connor and I talk through how understanding the experience of men better, we can cultivate healthier relationships and happier and more fulfilled lives. 

Note: while On Attachment aims to be as inclusive as possible, this conversation is focused primarily on male-female relationships and the dynamics that can arise therein. We know that's not everyone's experience, so feel free to take from this episode what resonates with you, and leave what doesn't. 

We'll cover:

• Numbing out pain from childhood and using unhealthy coping mechanisms
• Stopping the cycle of running away from yourself
• What it looks like inside a relationship when men are lacking confidence & competence
• How vulnerability can be practised with men
• What makes a great relationship

Find Connor Beaton's work on Instagram (@mantalks), check out his courses and membership on his website, and be sure to purchase his best-selling book Men's Work.

Highlighted Links

• Free Break-Up Training: The 3 Shifts That Help Anxiously Attached People Heal After a Break-up
• Free Training: How to Heal Anxious Attachment and (Finally) Feel Secure in Life & Love

Additional Resources

• Download the FREE Anxious Attachment Starter Kit here
• Join my email list 💌
• Explore my library of free guides, classes & meditations
• Visit my website

In today's episode, I'm unpacking the concept of "the one". When it comes to relationships, many of us have absorbed the conditioning that there is some perfect person out there for us - and our only job is to find them. This can lead us down a rabbit hole of doubt, comparison and low self-worth.

We cover:

• why the idea of "the one" is unrealistic
• how it can lead us to doubt our perfectly normal, healthy relationship
• the unexpected reason why we might seek out "the one"

Highlighted Links

• Free Break-Up Training: The 3 Shifts That Help Anxiously Attached People Heal After a Break-up
• Free Training: How to Heal Anxious Attachment and (Finally) Feel Secure in Life & Love

Additional Resources

• Download the FREE Anxious Attachment Starter Kit here
• Join my email list 💌
• Explore my library of free guides, classes & meditations
• Visit my website

In today's episode, I'm sharing 5 tips on how to love someone well. So often, we think we are being loving towards someone - when really, we are pursuing our own agenda of loving them with strings attached. We love in order to get something in return, and then feel secretly resentful when things don't go our way. So instead, I'm sharing how to love someone in a way that feels pure and open-hearted.

We'll cover:

• the importance of gratitude 
• voicing appreciation and recognition of someone's contribution
• how to accept someone rather than control or change them
• taking responsibility for your own happiness
• staying curious about your partner's inner world

Highlighted Links

• Free Break-Up Training: The 3 Shifts That Help Anxiously Attached People Heal After a Break-up
• Free Training: How to Heal Anxious Attachment and (Finally) Feel Secure in Life & Love

Additional Resources

• Download the FREE Anxious Attachment Starter Kit here
• Join my email list 💌
• Explore my library of free guides, classes & meditations
• Visit my website

In today's episode, I'm answering the question of "How do I know if someone is avoidant or just not that interested in me?" This is a question I get A LOT - and the answer might surprise you.  

I'm going to share a common misconception about avoidant attachment in early dating, as well as some hard truths about why we seek out people whose behaviour leaves us questioning whether they're interested or not. 

Highlighted Links

• Free Break-Up Training: The 3 Shifts That Help Anxiously Attached People Heal After a Break-up
• Free Training: How to Heal Anxious Attachment and (Finally) Feel Secure in Life & Love

Additional Resources

• Download the FREE Anxious Attachment Starter Kit here
• Join my email list 💌
• Explore my library of free guides, classes & meditations
• Visit my website

In today's episode, we're talking all about nervous system regulation in the context of emotional wellbeing. As many of you know, I'm a big advocate of incorporating bottom-up, somatically focused tools and awareness as part of the bigger picture of growth and healing. And a key piece of that work is understanding how to understand and support your nervous system. 

We cover:

• why a healthy nervous system isn't about being calm all the time
• how to expand your comfort zone and resilience in a safe, sustainable way
• how to make a daily practice out of nervous system regulation
• how to counteract feeling powerless and overwhelmed
• building a toolkit for nervous system regulation and self-soothing

Highlighted Links

• Free Break-Up Training: The 3 Shifts That Help Anxiously Attached People Heal After a Break-up
• Free Training: How to Heal Anxious Attachment and (Finally) Feel Secure in Life & Love

Additional Resources

• Download the FREE Anxious Attachment Starter Kit here
• Join my email list 💌
• Explore my library of free guides, classes & meditations
• Visit my website

In today's episode, I'm answering the community question of "when is it a good idea to take a break in a relationship?" This can be a really tricky situation, particularly where one person wants to take a break and the other doesn't. 

In this episode, I share:

• things to consider & discuss before taking a break
• do's and don'ts of taking a break
• examples of where a break can be healthy & productive
• navigating boundaries around taking a break (e.g. around duration, exclusivity, and intentions)

Highlighted Links

• Free Break-Up Training: The 3 Shifts That Help Anxiously Attached People Heal After a Break-up
• Free Training: How to Heal Anxious Attachment and (Finally) Feel Secure in Life & Love

Additional Resources

• Download the FREE Anxious Attachment Starter Kit here
• Join my email list 💌
• Explore my library of free guides, classes & meditations
• Visit my website

In today's episode, I'm joined by Vanessa & Xander Marin.  She’s a sex therapist with 20 years of experience, he’s a regular dude, and they recently co-authored their first book Sex Talks: The Five Conversations That Will Transform Your Love Life, which became an instant NYT bestseller. 

We cover:

• The five conversations you need to be having about sex
• Navigating mismatched libido & (perceived) sexual rejection in relationships
• How emotional intimacy (or lack thereof) impacts sexual intimacy
• What to do when sex becomes a heavy, high-pressure topic in your relationship
• How to bring back fun, play & lightness to your sex life

Follow Vanessa & Xander on Instagram @vanessaandxander, and tune in to their podcast, Pillow Talks, for totally do-able sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors, and so much more. 

Highlighted Links

• Free Break-Up Training: The 3 Shifts That Help Anxiously Attached People Heal After a Break-up
• Free Training: How to Heal Anxious Attachment and (Finally) Feel Secure in Life & Love

Additional Resources

• Download the FREE Anxious Attachment Starter Kit here
• Join my email list 💌
• Explore my library of free guides, classes & meditations
• Visit my website

In today's episode, I'm answering the question of why healthy relationships can feel boring - especially if you're someone who's accustomed to drama and chaos in your love life. 

We'll cover:

• why unhealthy relationships are so addictive
• the principle of intermittent reinforcement 
• how to navigate discomfort around stable relationships
• how to get your needs for novelty & excitement met in a healthy way without sabotaging your relationship

Highlighted Links

• Free Break-Up Training: The 3 Shifts That Help Anxiously Attached People Heal After a Break-up
• Free Training: How to Heal Anxious Attachment and (Finally) Feel Secure in Life & Love

Additional Resources

• Download the FREE Anxious Attachment Starter Kit here
• Join my email list 💌
• Explore my library of free guides, classes & meditations
• Visit my website