We are all leaders, no matter what our job is. And we all have leadership styles that may or may not be the most aligned or effective.

Dr. Kirstin Ferguson joins to discuss how we can lead others and ourselves from a place of love.  She is a prominent leadership expert and a highly experienced business leader in her own right.

Beginning her career as an officer in the Royal Australian Air Force, Kirstin has held roles that have included CEO of an International consulting firm and was appointed acting chair and deputy chair of the Australia Broadcasting Corporation by the Australian Prime Minister. She holds a PhD in Leadership and is an adjunct professor at QUT business school. 

This coaching call is about understanding the reason we may be doubting a relationship. Today’s caller, Sammie, has doubts about her relationship and is wondering if she should stay in it. Christine guides her to change her perception and look at the situation differently.

[For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode425].

There are many people who would be better off by leaving relationships or situations, but they decide to stay. They only stick around because the devil they know is often better than the devil they don’t. They feel there is no risk in staying in the relationship because it is familiar.

Then, there are those who probably “should” hang in there a while longer, or stick it out to see what happens, but they run sooner.

We need to work on switching those things around so that when we know something is toxic or not for us, we can make a conscious decision to leave. Or, when we are not totally sure, we see some great things about a relationship, but there is also a part of us that wants to run because the intimacy feels scary. But that is the point in a relationship when it could offer us great learning and healing if we could just stick it out.

Is your pattern to stick it out too long or to run too soon? If you are sticking it out too long, maybe it is time to go. If you are running too soon, maybe it is time to stay. Be honest with yourself when you are looking for a reason to get out of a relationship.

Christine is considering making some changes to the show and she wants your feedback. Go to christinehassler.com/survey to answer questions about the podcast and if you include your name and email you will be entered in a raffle to win a 30 min. coaching session with Christine!

Consider/Ask Yourself:

• Are you in a situation, relationship, or friendship, and you are questioning whether you are in it for the “right” reasons?

• Are you in a friendship or relationship and think you should end it because you don’t want to lead the person on or you don’t want to hurt feelings?

• Do you relate to having an avoidant attachment style? Are you the person in a relationship that when it gets too intimate or too close, you start to pull back?

• Do you have a deep insecurity about something in your life and think you have to settle because of it?

Sammie’s Question:

Sammie questions if her current relationship is right for her based on her boyfriend’s physical disability.

Sammie’s Key Insights and Ahas:

• She feels safe in her current relationship and believes it is a healthy one.

• She questions how her boyfriend’s spinal cord injury will impact their future together.

• She is unsure if the relationship will lead her into a caretaker role.

• She does not have prior experience to guide her through her uncertainty.

• She is hopeful about the future of the relationship.

• She admires the relationship her boyfriend has with his ex.

• She joined a support group for people in relationships with people who have spinal cord injuries.

• She is asking legitimate questions.

• She becomes critical in relationships.

• She has never had a relationship with this level of stability.

• She doesn’t believe she could have attracted someone so healthy.

• She has a fearful-avoidant attachment style.

• She is insecure about where she is in her life.

How to Get Over It and On With It:

• Be 100% honest with her boyfriend.

• Practice self-acceptance.

• Lean into the invitation to love and intimacy.

Resources:

Christine Hassler — Take a Coaching Assessment

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

Christine on Facebook

Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler

@ChristinHassler on Twitter

@ChristineHassler on Instagram

@SacredUnionCouples on Instagram

[email protected]

[email protected] — For information on any of my services

Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show.

Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

Sarah Jenks is an ordained Priestess in the 13 Moon Mystery School. Sarah thought she was destined to have an “in the box” life after going to a top college, working in advertising, and then creating a successful emotional eating company.

One day she walked into her therapist’s office where the remnants of a sacred circle from the night before were strewn on the living room floor. She had a full body “Remembering” of being in ceremony. Since that day she’s been devoted to her own sacred practice and Temple skills and has devoted her life to creating spaces for women to have their own remembering.

Sarah’s work is centered around integrating Sacred Feminine wisdom and ceremony into our everyday lives, so that we can create the most rich, sexy, fun and meaningful existence. She offers mentorship programs and sacred council around the body, marriage, motherhood, and work, and runs an incredible monthly membership community where women and non-binary people come together for moonly ceremonies, astrology oracles, and lessons on the nuts and bolts of what it means to have a Sacred Feminine life. 

Links discussed in this episode: 

Three day re-birth event: www.christinehassler.com/Sarah 

Sacred Start guide

Marriage Reset

Priestess Presence- https://priestesspresence.com/trainings/?oprid=13245&ref=13531

This coaching call is about reframing a situation to help make a change. Today’s caller, Lori, is settling and staying in a situation that isn’t what she wants, deserves, or values, out of fear of making a change. Christine offers guidance about how she can raise the bar, work through old patterns, and have the life she deserves.

[For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode424].

Part of breaking a pattern and stepping into worthiness is not perceiving something as uprooting, or upheaval but as raising the bar of what we will tolerate in life.

As children, we didn’t have the choice to choose for ourselves. So, trauma sits in our nervous system because we were never allowed to feel our feelings in a safe and compassionate way. The trauma is never expressed so it gets locked in and begins to form a pattern. We can’t heal something till it’s in our face and we can give ourselves the love, compassion, patience, and support that we didn’t have as a child.

Breaking a pattern isn’t just about making a change, it is about how we are with ourselves while we are making the change. The best way to learn and change a pattern is when we are smack dab in the middle of it but with a coach, or someone to help us break the pattern.

If you are in a situation where you are settling and you want to make a change and it seems daunting, reframe how you are looking at the situation. If you see the situation as Mt. Everest, it will seem like it is hard to overcome. But, look at the issue as a way to increase your life satisfaction, rather than settling for a life that is based on your patterning. It may be difficult to make the change, but perceptions and beliefs about anything dramatically influence how we experience it.

Are you ready to be coached by Christine? If you are, there are three one-on-one coaching opportunities available now. Go to ChristineHassler.com and click on the coaching tab or email [email protected] for more information.

Consider/Ask Yourself:

• Are you in a situation that isn’t ideal, maybe even unhealthy, but the devil you know is worse than the one you don’t?

• When it comes to relationships, do you have trouble speaking your voice?

• When it comes to making a change do you generally feel that it’s going to be hard and have trouble getting motivated or inspired to make the change?

• Do you see yourself as a failure and shame yourself because things haven’t worked out and you compare yourself to other people who you deem or judge as successful?

Lori’s Question:

Lori recently discovered her partner was sending flirty messages to another woman and is unsure what to do about it.

Lori’s Key Insights and Ahas:

• She recently bought a house with her partner of two years.

• She found flirty text messages on her partner’s phone to another woman.

• Her intuition is sending her messages.

• She has trouble finding her voice to confront him about the texts.

• Her partner was defensive and didn’t really acknowledge her pain.

• It drains her to think about dismantling the relationship.

• She feels like a failure.

• She compares herself to others.

• She doesn’t want to be in the relationship any longer.

• She fears uprooting her life.

• She doesn’t feel safe communicating in her relationship.

• She doesn’t have compassion for her inner child when she sees herself as a failure.

• She has an abandonment wound.

How to Get Over It and On With It:

• Know she doesn’t have to do it alone. Speak with a coach or therapist.

• Be gentle and compassionate with herself while she goes through the process of changing her patterns.

• Recognize she is healing a deep father wound.

• Raise the bar on what she is able to accept for herself.

Sponsor:

Caraway Cookware — Caraway products are toxicity-free, beautiful, and easy to clean and use. The cookware and bakeware sets have a chemical-free slick coating. The new stainless steel cookware set is a must-have. Go to CarawayHome.com/Overit to take advantage of the limited-time offer of 10% off on your next purchase or by using the promo code OVERIT at checkout.

Resources:

Christine Hassler — Take a Coaching Assessment

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

Christine on Facebook

Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler

@ChristinHassler on Twitter

@ChristineHassler on Instagram

@SacredUnionCouples on Instagram

[email protected]

[email protected] — For information on any of my services

Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show.

Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

My longtime friend and the #1 resource I recommend when it comes to shifting your relationship with money, Kate Northrup, joins me today for an insightful and inspiring conversation about money.

As an entrepreneur, bestselling author, and mother, Kate Northrup has built a multimedia digital platform called The Origin Company that reaches hundreds of thousands globally. She’s committed to supporting ambitious women to light up the world without burning themselves out. Kate teaches data and soul-driven time and energy management practices that result in saving time, making more money, and experiencing less stress. She’s the author of Money: A Love Story and Do Less and the creator of the Do Less Planner System. Kate’s work has been featured by Oprah Daily, The Today Show, Yahoo! Finance, Women’s Health, Glamour, The NY Times, Harvard Business Review, and more. She lives with her husband and their daughters in Miami.

You can access her FREE workshop “Plenty” which will help you Clear Your Money Blocks and Discover True Prosperity While Positively Impacting the World here: Christinehassler.com/relaxedmoney

This coaching call is about old triggers in new situations. Today’s caller, Manpreet, is dating someone new and would like guidance on how to keep old triggers out of her new relationship. She has done healing work and is drawing what she wants into her life, but is frustrated when old patterns reemerge.

[For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode423].

When women suffer abuse at the hands of, for this example, men, we can project on all men that they’re scary. Women can feel scared to trust men because one man or several men hurt them. So, we want to separate the behavior from the gender, from the person, from the way they look, and know that it was someone else’s behavior and not all men behave like that.

Because there has to be a disconnection, or disassociation from our sexuality in order for us to survive abuse, we often open up physically or emotionally to people before we are ready as a way to get power over the situation.

As adults, we have the gift of being able to ask ourselves what we couldn’t do or say when we were little that we can do or say now. We can speak up. We can get out of a situation, we can fight back. We can take our power back.

Also, when we share vulnerability too soon we may get hurt and it might not be received in the way that we want because there hasn’t been enough rapport, trust, or time there. So in new relationships, or friendships especially intimate relationships, a lot can be triggered. That’s why it is so helpful to have a professional or trusted friend to bounce things off of and get some perspective. Then we can come into new relationships with honesty and the knowing that vulnerability comes later. It gives a relationship more of a chance.

Consider/Ask Yourself:

• When something new comes into your life, do you sabotage it because old stuff comes up?

• Did you grow up not feeling safe, specifically if you are female do you not feel safe around men?

• Have you done the vulnerability vomit thing too early in a friendship or romantic relationship and it has backfired?

• Do you feel that you can truly ask for what you need and that you are lovable?

Manpreet’s Question:

Manpreet would like to be more in her goddess energy and learn to be more open to receiving more in relationships.

Manpreet’s Key Insights and Ahas:

• Men often show physical interest in her immediately.

• She has drawn in someone who treats her with respect.

• She overshares her insecurities with new people quickly.

• The man she is interested in says he will walk away if she continues to worry about where the relationship is headed.

• She panics in fear when thinking about whether he will accept her.

• She finds it easier to use physical manipulation to get what she wants.

• She attended the Be the Queen program.

• She feels that masculine, or men have the power and she has no control over situations.

• She was abused by male family members.

• She projects her abusive uncle’s behavior onto other men.

• She can speak up for what she wants now.

• Deep down her fear is about whether she is lovable.

• She is scared because someone wants to see her for who she really is.

• She wonders if she is good enough.

• The healing work she is doing is drawing in things she wants for herself.

• She wants to have conversations from an empowered place, not a wounded place.

• She knows her worth isn’t tied to anyone but herself.

How to Get Over It and On With It:

• Bring herself into the present moment to separate behaviors from gender.

• Ask herself what she couldn’t say, be, or do when she was a little girl that she can be, say, or do now.

• Talk with her coach about her feelings and how to process them.

• Send voicemails or texts to herself, or a trusted friend first to get some perspective.

Sponsor:

Air Doctor — is an air filter and air purifier that creates the healthiest environment in your home. It filters out dangerous contaminants and allergens with an ultra HEPA filter that removes 99.99% of tested bacteria and viruses. If you want to order an Air Doctor today with a 30-day money-back guarantee, go to AirDoctorPro.com and use promo code “Overit” and get up to 39% or $300 off on selected models. My podcast listeners get a free 3-year warranty on any unit.

Resources:

Christine Hassler — Take a Coaching Assessment

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

Christine on Facebook

Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler

@ChristinHassler on Twitter

@ChristineHassler on Instagram

@SacredUnionCouples on Instagram

[email protected]

[email protected] — For information on any of my services

Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show.

Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

Shawn Stevenson is the author of the USA Today National bestseller Eat Smarter and the international bestselling book Sleep Smarter. He’s also creator of The Model Health Show, featured as the number #1 health podcast in the U.S. with millions of listener downloads each month. A graduate of the University of Missouri–St. Louis, Shawn studied business, biology, and nutritional science and became the cofounder of Advanced Integrative Health Alliance. Shawn has been featured in Forbes, Fast Company, The New York Times, Muscle & Fitness, ABC News, ESPN, and many other major media outlets.

This coaching call is about making sense of our intuition. Today’s caller, Michaela, wants to drop fully into what she is feeling but is unsure whether her intuition is just a fear-based response to her past. She asks Christine for guidance on how to decipher her feelings and how to trust her intuition.

[For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode422].

We all have the gift of intuition to varying degrees. Some people, who have more gifts, we might refer to as psychics or mediums. But we all have the gift and the ability to connect to our intuition. And often, when we open up our connection to our intuition, it can be confusing. We may get intuitive messages and not know exactly what to do with them.

The beautiful thing about surrender or letting go is that it does allow for what actually needs to come forward to happen. Surrendering and receiving can feel scary because we have to be still. When we’re not in motion, either mentally or physically, and stillness comes, it often can trigger a fear response. Because if you grew up with any kind of abuse or chaos you know that when things got quiet, or still it wasn’t always a good sign; the calm before the storm.

So, we keep ourselves moving to both avoid chaos and to avoid the feelings. Many of us have wounds and trauma that we’ve been carrying around for decades and if we keep ourselves busy and distracted enough then we don’t have to feel the pain. If we do surrender and allow ourselves to receive, then there’s an invitation to feel. And, often it isn’t the party we want to attend.

The beautiful thing about inner child work is that we have all these beautiful parts of us that come alive again and they become a great source of love.

Consider/Ask Yourself:

• Do you feel like your intuition is telling you something and you’re not exactly sure what it means or what to do with it?

• Have you had a life of lots of doing and you feel this huge desire to just be, but at the same time it terrifies you?

• Are you someone that is good at receiving or are you better at giving?

• Are you willing to carve the time out for yourself and change behaviors to connect more deeply with your inner child so that you can feel safe in your body?

Michaela’s Question:

Michaela is being pulled to listen to her intuition but is confused about whether the message is coming from her intuition or is a fear-based response.

Michaela’s Key Insights and Ahas:

• She is an imposter syndrome and transformational coach.

• She left the corporate world after 25 years.

• She is feeling pulled to stop doing and to listen to her intuition.

• She is strongly spiritual.

• She has a global network of people as clients.

• She invests money in personal development work.

• She suffered from imposter syndrome in the past.

• Her family pretended everything was okay, no matter what was happening.

• She feels coaching is her calling.

• She’s been married for 25 years.

• She has a hidden life and doesn’t feel safe.

• She had traumatic experiences in her childhood.

• She sometimes wants to disappear.

• She recently uncoupled from an intimate connection.

• She is searching for parental safety.

• She wants to feel supported and loved.

• She finds it difficult to receive.

• She doesn’t understand how people love her.

How to Get Over It and On With It:

• Delve deeply into healing inner child work.

• Let go of her distractions to integrate the fragmented pieces of herself.

• Trust her intuition and be curious about the messages.

• Be curious and allow people’s love for her to model how to love her inner child.

• Take action in response to her internal messaging rather than taking action to avoid her feelings.

Sponsor:

Caraway Cookware — Caraway products are toxicity-free, beautiful, and easy to clean and use. The cookware and bakeware sets have a chemical-free slick coating. Go to CarawayHome.com/Overit to take advantage of the limited-time offer of 10% off on your next purchase or by using the promo code OVERIT at checkout.

Resources:

Christine Hassler — Take a Coaching Assessment

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

Christine on Facebook

Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler

@ChristinHassler on Twitter

@ChristineHassler on Instagram

@SacredUnionCouples on Instagram

[email protected]

[email protected] — For information on any of my services

Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show.

Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

 Kimberlee's book and podcast, THE FISCAL FEMINIST, is a financial wake-up call for women in which she shares her personal and professional expertise to help women improve their financial health, money-proof their relationships and learn how to be intentional and strategic with their finances and careers.  Kimberlee has more than 25 years of finance, legal and corporate experience. She is currently a managing director and partner at the private wealth management firm The Bahnsen Group and a certified divorce financial analyst. But Kimberlee hasn't always been so confident with money. After a long and contentious divorce that completely upended her life, Kimberlee found herself in the trenches where many of her clients and listeners currently are today. She wasn't prepared financially and was afraid for her and her children's future. Her mission is to ensure no other woman has to feel afraid like she did.  While many women feel overwhelmed today in a post-pandemic world, juggling careers, motherhood and a looming recession, Kimberlee believes every woman can improve her financial health no matter her age, economic or marital status.

This coaching call is about overcoming the fear of stepping out of our comfort zones. Today’s caller, Alana, has always played it safe by never stepping out of her comfort zone. She asks Christine for guidance about how to overcome the fear of taking the risks necessary to move into the life she wants.

[For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode421].

It can be scary to move out of what is familiar. Our risk tolerance in our early 20s is much different than when we are older. When we have lived a little more life, we have seen enough to know that regret is far worse than risk. We can’t get time back and regret is very painful to live with.

We can recover from most risks, especially social media posts, going after clients, and putting ourselves “out there.” Some people may judge, or some people may not like it but we can recover from that. To be coming to the end of life and wondering why we didn’t go after what we wanted is far more painful than taking a risk and maybe having a few people say something not so nice. We’re not living our lives if we’re only doing things that we think will not be judged by other people.

When we move into a different career, especially the personal growth industry, there may be people who judge us. Let them. It’s okay. When we start looking at our own stuff, start speaking our truth, and start healing generational trauma, a lot of people judge us because their subconscious doesn’t want to look at their stuff. Instead of them taking personal responsibility and dealing with their stuff they choose to judge others. It is their defense strategy. The biggest thing to remember is not to take it personally. Allow your inner voice and the voices of the people who love and support you to be the voices you pay attention to.

Consider/Ask Yourself:

• Are you a coach who wants to start a coaching practice but you’re playing it safe despite your training, skills, and passion?

• Have you had challenges in life that reinforce your desire to stay in your safety zone?

• Are you willing to start making some bigger changes and start taking some risks?

• Do you deal with imposter syndrome and would you like to let it go for good?

Alana’s Question:

Alana fears uncharted territory and would like guidance on how to transition from a structured career path into a less structured entrepreneurial coaching business.

Alana’s Key Insights and Ahas:

• She has worked in a structured career.

• She is a certified life coach.

• She finds it difficult to put herself out there.

• She suffers from imposter syndrome.

• She fears asking for payment for her services.

• She believes she can get clients.

• She fears she will change as a person.

• Her mother passed away unexpectedly.

• She lost a pregnancy.

• She is comfortable with playing it safe.

• She is hesitant to move forward into unfamiliar territory.

• She has relied on external validation.

• She wants to move into curiosity.

• She is committed to reaching out to clients.

How to Get Over It and On With It:

• Shift the way she looks at safety.

• Reassure herself that safety is internally resourced.

• Honor her inner voice.

• Remind herself that just because something is unfamiliar doesn’t mean it is unsafe.

Takeaway:

• Stop letting the fear of what other people think stop you from going after what you want.

• Push out of what is safe. If you only live in what is safe, you will never really live.

Resources:

Christine Hassler — Take a Coaching Assessment

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

Christine on Facebook

Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler

@ChristinHassler on Twitter

@ChristineHassler on Instagram

@SacredUnionCouples on Instagram

[email protected]

[email protected] — For information on any of my services

Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show.

Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.