A nutritionist has shaken the drive-thru to its core—claiming it’s healthier to order two burgers instead of a burger and fries. Apparently, you double your protein and ditch the carbs. Ricki-Lee, Tim and Joel weren’t having it. “Three burgers, no fries?” “Extra protein?” “No thank you!” The team concluded the only healthy option is pretending this advice doesn’t exist.

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We asked our partners what their favourite things are about us, and the answers ranged from deeply heartfelt (Lizzie legit made the team cry) to shockingly insightful (Jack is now our emotional support therapist). Oh, and yes, there were plenty of responses that cannot be aired. Ever.

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From toenail clippings in pinboards to tuna nuked in office microwaves, we dive into the filthiest things people have witnessed at work—brace yourself, it’s truly feral. Labubu collectors are now officially walking red flags and we’re unpacking why (sorry to your shelf of creepy dolls). We’ve also got Australia’s most un-roadworthy car, complete with a garden chair for a seat—because why not? In the Glossys: Billy Joel rolls up on a pedicab, Kathy Hilton reveals her hall pass, and Travis Kelce compares himself to Julia Roberts. Plus, the sleepy English village turned sex festival hub and… Grant Denyer crashes in for Quick Draw and brings absolute chaos.

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The TV host/stuntman/pilot/world record holder/world-class gasbag drops by to play Quick Draw, flexes his wildest achievements (hello, solo pilot license in 10 hours?!), and throws shade at Logies rivals and rogue game show hosts. He also accidentally triggers PC error sounds with the studio knobs and manages to steal the win from Joel in a nail-biting, buzzer-screaming, butterfly-botching finale. An elite performance from the Deal or No Deal king.

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Tim’s only just discovered Wordle (yes, really), Joel’s shared a cursed photo that will haunt us forever, and a South African pastor proposed at a funeral—bold move or straight to hell? We’re also in our dad era: noodles at 10am, chips in bed, and no rules, just vibes. Plus, in the Glossys, celeb flight sightings, real estate moves and Pedro’s dodgy shave regret.

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It’s Joel’s worst nightmare: a photo so cursed it makes Voldemort look photogenic. He uploaded it. Regretted it. Then made it everyone's problem. We unpack his full meltdown, frame by frame, pore by (Photoshopped) pore.

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Today we’re lighting a candle for the most unhinged funeral story you’ve ever heard — involving a rogue pastor, a freak-out at the pulpit, and a very unfortunate moment to go viral.

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This week on Four The Record:

Tim asks Joe about why The Stephen Colbert Show is wrapping up... And what does it have to do with Donald Trump? Also, why is Trump suing CBS and The Wall Street Journal? And what does it have to do with Jeffrey Epstein? We'll get the full rundown. 

LINKS

• Follow Tim Blackwell on Instagram
• Follow Joe Hildebrand on Instagram
• Read Joe's column in The Daily Telegraph
• Listen to The Real Story With Joe Hildebrand 

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Joel’s still trying to figure out what umami means (and no, it’s not a sushi train), we dived into the ‘Princess Treatment vs Bare Minimum’ debate, and things got fishy when someone made a tuna salad on a plane. Plus, we asked: what can you store under belly fat? You’d be surprised. We also tested AI’s selfie skills with our dream celeb friends, and crowned the true kings of sex appeal — long live the dad bods.

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One woman’s belly has become the hottest real estate on the internet — and we’re not talking abs. Wait until you hear what she can stash under her stomach roll… including a household appliance and possibly a small pet.

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