Happy Satiated Saturday!
I remember a time in my life when I lived across the street from a gym. This was a time when I was diving deeper into my own personal growth and healing, working with a somatic therapist, and binging regularly to try to regulate as looking at these dark things in my life was not easy.
I would eat to the point of feeling so uncomfortably full I couldn't attend to or focus on anything else. Some nights, I just did not want to sit with that fullness and so I would walk over to the gym at 9:00, 10:00, even 11:00 pm at night and walk on a treadmill or use the elliptical until I didn't feel full anymore.
Sweaty, exhausted, and numb, I would walk back to my apartment, shower, and just go to sleep.
I share this because, first, if this is a pattern you're in right now, please know you're not doing anything wrong. You're showing up the best you can right now with everything you're trying to navigate in your life and in your body. Second, that pattern that was playing out with my food and body wasn't really about my food or my body image.
It was a time of my life I was actively taking myself outside my comfort zone. It was a time I was challenging the ways I showed up with myself and with others. It was a time when I thought the tears of grief from what I was processing would never stop. Eating and moving my body just became moments of respite from what felt, at times, too intense to navigate. If you're reading this nodding your head, I see you, I understand, I get it.
In this week’s episode, I talk with Jessie Asya Kanzer, author of her new book Don’t Just Sit There, DO NOTHING: Healing, Chilling, and Living with the Tao Te Ching, about her journey of healing from an eating disorder and how finding the Tao Te Ching and learning to be with herself changed everything for her.
You can also read the transcript to this week’s episode here: https://www.stephaniemara.com/blog/seeking-stillness
As a reminder, you never have to navigate this food and body healing journey alone. If you're looking for more support, email me at [email protected] anytime!
With Compassion and Empathy,
Stephanie Mara Fox
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Special thanks to Bendsound for the music in this episode. ...