Securely Attached

We're doing something a little different on Beyond the Sessions this week! Instead of answering a listener question, Dr. Emily Upshur, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, and I are unpacking a fascinating (and slightly unsettling) study about how media exposure to traumatic events can affect our mental health—and what it means for us and our kids.

In this episode, we talk about:

- A study that found people who watched repeated news coverage about the Boston Marathon Bombing showed more markers of stress than some who were actually there.

- Why constant exposure to distressing headlines can keep your nervous system stuck in fight-or-flight.

- How past trauma and chronic stress can make us more vulnerable to media-induced anxiety.

- What "orienting to safety" means and simple ways to help your brain (and your child's) return to calm.

- How to talk to kids about scary news stories in age-appropriate, grounding ways.

In a world where we're surrounded by 24/7 coverage of crisis and tragedy, this conversation will help you understand what's happening inside your brain and body and give you tools for focusing on building resilience and safety for your child.

REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES:

📚 Media's role in broadcasting acute stress following the Boston Marathon bombings

ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about parental dysregulation with Dr. Amber Thornton

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about parental burnout

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about how to be intentional with your tech use with Catherine Price

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about motherhood as a millennial with Marcella Kelson

WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:

Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!

High-conflict divorce doesn't just end a marriage, it can shake your identity, your parenting, and your ability to feel grounded. Joining me to share guidance for parents at the beginning, in the thick of it, or still processing the aftermath is divorce coach Karen McMahon.

Together we explore:

- What defines a high-conflict parent and how this dynamic impacts families.

- Why trying to change your ex keeps you stuck—and where your real power lies.

- Practical strategies to co-parent effectively, even when cooperation feels impossible.

- How to protect kids from the emotional "shrapnel" of conflict while staying grounded yourself.

- How unresolved trauma and attachment patterns can influence who we choose as partners—and how to break those cycles.

- The role of boundaries, support systems, and self-healing in transforming not just your divorce, but your identity moving forward.

Whether you're in the midst of a high-conflict divorce or supporting someone who is, this conversation offers compassionate insight and practical tools to help you reclaim your confidence, protect your children, and move forward with grace.

LEARN MORE ABOUT MY GUEST:

🔗 https://www.jbddivorcesupport.com/

🎧 Journey Beyond Divorce Podcast

📞 Rapid Relief Call

FOLLOW US ON INSTAGRAM:

📱@journey_beyond_divorce

📱@drsarahbren

ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES:

🔗 If you're currently in the midst of separation, moving forward after divorce, or adjusting to life post-split, Upshur Bren Psychology Group's weekly virtual Divorce Process Group for Women provides a safe space for women to process their emotions, gain support, and build strategies for moving forward. Visit https://upshurbren.com/group-womensdivorce or schedule a free 30-minute consultation call to learn more.

CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:

🎧334. Divorce, custody & co-parenting: The legal considerations parents need to know with matrimonial attorney Lisa Zeiderman

🎧 42. Busting divorce myths and breaking down the true affect it has on children: A conversation with Michelle Dempsey-Multack

🎧 322. Navigating divorce or separation through a family systems approach: Preventative steps to reduce the risk of insecure attachment with Una Archer

🎧106. Recognizing and overcoming codependency in parenthood with Alana Carvalho

🎧 199. Q&A: What are strategies for co-parenting with a narcissist?

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about...

- Why potty regressions can happen even years after a child is toilet trained.

-Why getting to the root of your child's challenges — whether accidents stem from a medical issue or a psychological struggle — is key to finding the right approach and intervention.

- What to do (and what not to do) when your child starts hiding accidents out of shame or embarrassment.

- How to help your child take ownership and build confidence, without making them feel bad.

- Practical tips for handling accidents at playdates, with friends, or in public, while preserving your child's dignity.

This episode will help you make sense of what's behind potty regressions in older kids and offer practical, shame-free ways to support your child's body awareness, confidence, and emotional well-being.

CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode with everything you need to know before you start potty training

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about bed wetting, constipation and pelvic health with Quiara Smith

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about interoception and the importance of helping kids connect body signals to emotions with OT Kelly Mahler

WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:

Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!

Joining me this week is Dr. Peter Vermeulen, psychologist, author, and founder of Autism in Context. Peter has spent more than 35 years helping families, educators, and clinicians better understand autism and what it truly means to live a happy, meaningful life.

Together we explore:

- Why happiness and well-being deserve as much attention as therapies or interventions for autistic individuals - and what we can learn from autistic people who are thriving.

- How reframing "stereotyped interests" as passions and talents can open doors to meaning, confidence, and even careers.

- Why predictability is so essential for autistic children's sense of safety and how parents can build that into daily routines and relationships to foster a secure attachment bond.

- Just like you feed your child before they get hangry, how parents can "pre-regulate" their child's nervous system throughout the day to prevent overload, meltdowns, and dysregulation.

- Why autistic children absolutely do form attachments — and how differences in communication and perception can lead to misunderstandings in connection, not an absence of it.

- Practical ways to nurture love and security (Spoiler: things like creating predictable rituals, using concrete symbols, establishing shared routines to strengthen your bond, and more!)

Peter's message is both deeply compassionate and hopeful: autistic individuals are capable of happiness, love, and purpose — and when we meet them with curiosity and respect for how their brains see the world, we can help them build lives filled with meaning and joy.

LEARN MORE ABOUT MY GUEST:

🔗 https://petervermeulen.be/

🔗 Good Feeling Questionnaire

📚 Autism as Context Blindness

📚 Autism and The Predictive Brain

FOLLOW US ON INSTAGRAM:

📱@pedrovermeulen

📱@drsarahbren

ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES:

🔗 Every child deserves to feel safe, understood, and supported — and every parent deserves a place to turn. At Upshur Bren Psychology Group, we offer a full continuum of autism services: diagnostic testing, individual therapy, and parent support groups for families raising children and young adults on the spectrum. Visit upshurbren.com to learn more about support options for you and your child.

🔗 Leo Kanner and autism: a 75-year perspective

🔗Attachment and Autism Spectrum Disorder (Without Intellectual Disability) During Middle Childhood: In Search of the Missing Piece

CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about treating autism with a strength based approach with Dr. Lynn Kern Koegel

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about neurodiverse brains and sleep with Dr. Funke Afolabi-Brown

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about determining if a neuropsych evaluation is right for your child with Dr. Yael Rothman & Dr. Katia Fredriksen

🎧 Listen to my podcast episodes about Resources for Infant educarers with Deborah Carlisle Solomon

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode I talk about...

• How to handle Halloween candy without guilt, power struggles, or micromanaging.
• Strategies for finding that balance between restricting sweets while also allowing your child to enjoy the fun of the holiday.
• Why your own food anxieties might be showing up more than you realize — and how not to pass them on.
• How to use this as an opportunity to build trust, awareness, and healthy boundaries.
• Practical ways to help kids build awareness, self-control, and a healthy relationship with food that lasts long after Halloween.

If your feeling overwhelmed about just how you're going to approach trick-or-treating this year, this episode will help you cut through the noise, manage your own worries, and approach this holiday with more confidence.

LEARN MORE ABOUT ME:

1. Check out my website: drsarahbren.com

2. Follow me on Instagram: @drsarahbren

REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES:

📚 Child of Mine: Feeding with Love and Good Sense by Ellyn Satter

🎧 Collaboration over control: Using Collaborative Problem Solving to navigate power struggles, tantrums, and challenging behaviors with Dr. Stuart Ablon

🔗Watch my ✨FREE✨ workshop, Overcoming Power Struggles, where I'll teach you the exact strategies I use in my clinical practice to help parents break free from the cycle of yelling, threats, and negotiations—and instead foster cooperation, connection, and calm. Just visit drsarahbren.com/powerstruggles to get instant access to this workshop.

CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about how can I help your child feel less scared of Halloween?

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about how to know if you're giving in too much and becoming permissive

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about what to do if you have a kid who would never stop eating if you don't restrict their food intake

WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:

Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!

Joining me this week is Jessica Baum, licensed mental health counselor, relationship expert, and author of the new book SAFE: Coming Home to Yourself and Others.

Together we explore:

- How insecure attachment patterns form in childhood and continue to shape how we show up as adults and parents.

- Why parents with a history of insecure attachment may find themselves more easily triggered by their children.

- The difference between awareness and healing, and why insight alone isn't enough to create real change.

- How to repair attachment wounds by learning to regulate your own nervous system.

- What the "Wheel of Attachment" reveals about the fluid, nuanced nature of our attachment patterns.

- How doing your own inner work can transform not just your relationships, but the emotional security you pass down to your kids.

If you've ever wondered why you react the way you do or how to stop repeating painful relational cycles, this conversation will help you understand what's happening beneath the surface and give you hope that true, lasting healing is possible.

LEARN MORE ABOUT MY GUEST:

🔗https://jessicabaumlmhc.com/interview

📚Safe: An Attachment-Informed Guide to Building More Secure Relationships

📚Anxiously Attached: Becoming More Secure in Life and Love

🔗 Conscious Relationship Group

FOLLOW US ON SOCIAL MEDIA:

📱IG: @jessicabaumlmhc, FB: Conscious Relationship Group, LinkedIn: Jessica Baum, LMHC, CAP

📱@drsarahbren

ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES:

🔗 Interested in learning more about attachment science? Go to drsarahbren.com/secure to download my free guide, The Four Pillars of Fostering Secure Attachment, helping you parent with a focus on attunement and trust.

📚 The Heart of Trauma: Healing the Embodied Brain in the Context of Relationships

🔗 What is conscious parenting?

CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode breaking down the basics of attachment theory (this is a great place to start!)

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about codependency, insecure attachment, and relationship patterns with Alana Carvalho

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode whether or not insecure attachment is really as bad as we think with attachment researcher Dr. Or Dagan

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about how to break the cycle of generational trauma and insecure attachment patterns with Dr. Miriam Steele

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode Dr. Emily Upshur and I talk about...

- Why some kids, especially sensitive kids, get dysregulated all over again when parents calmly try to talk about what happened later.

- How shame can get triggered in your child, even when you're trying to be gentle and supportive.

- What to do when "teaching moments" keep turning into meltdowns.

- Why focusing on the before (not the after) of a hard moment can make all the difference.

- Practical ways to help your child build self-control, handle frustration, and practice new skills without reactivating big emotions.

If you've ever thought, "I waited until she was calm… why is she losing it again?" this episode will help you understand what's really going on beneath the surface and give you fresh, compassionate strategies to help your child learn and grow.

REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES:

🔗 Go to drsarahbren.com/discipline to download my free guide on effectively disciplining your child with strategies that don't utilize shame or guilt - but still work to get your child to behave!

👉🏻 Learn more about Parenting by Design, my guided program for increasing behavioral and emotional regulation in sensitive kids.

CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about helping "Big Reactors" learn to regulate and manage their intense emotions with Claire Lerner

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about disciplining your sensitive child with Dr. Vanessa Lapointe

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about supporting a child a sensitive child

🎧Listen to my podcast episode about preventing burnout when you have a sensitive child

WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:

Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!

Joining me this week is Devon Kuntzman, the author of the brand-new book Transforming Toddlerhood: How to Go From Surviving to Thriving in the Toddler Years. Devon is here to talk about what's really going on beneath the surface of those big toddler behaviors—and how parents can respond with calm, confidence, and connection.

Together we explore:

• Why those "challenging" toddler behaviors (like tantrums, hitting, and defiance) are actually developmentally appropriate—and what they're communicating.

• How to shift from punishment to teaching, and use discipline as a tool for learning rather than control.

• The meaning behind Devon's concept of developmentally smart parenting and how it helps you set firm but kind limits.

• Practical tools for staying grounded and patient during your child's biggest meltdowns.

• How to step out of power struggles without giving up your authority.

• Why your calm, confident presence is the most powerful parenting strategy you have.

Whether you're deep in the toddler trenches or preparing for this next stage, this conversation will help you see your child's behavior through a new lens—and bring more confidence, connection, and compassion into your parenting.

LEARN MORE ABOUT MY GUEST:

🔗 https://www.transformingtoddlerhood.com/

📚 Transforming Toddlerhood: How to Handle Tantrums, End Power Struggles, and Raise Resilient Kids—Without Losing Your Mind

FOLLOW US ON INSTAGRAM:

📱@transformingtoddlerhood

📱@drsarahbren

CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:

🎧 94. Toddler sleep: Why it's different than infant sleep and how to use the attachment relationship to help them fall asleep, with Eileen Henry

🎧 90. Seeing the world through your toddler's eyes: Helping your child feel seen, understood, and validated with the co-authors of the Terrific Toddlers series

🎧 209. How can I get my toddler to share and play nicely with other kids?

🎧 231. BTS: How can I build my toddler's assertiveness skills?

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode Dr. Emily Upshur and I talk about...

- Why Halloween can feel scary for preschoolers and what's happening developmentally as they work through the difference between what's real and pretend.

- Strategies you can use to help your child feel safe and confident around spooky decorations, costumes, and trick-or-treating.

- A simple tip you can start doing now to help your child understand that masks and costumes are just pretend.

- How to prepare your child ahead of time with coping strategies for when something feels too scary in the moment.

- How to know when it may be appropriate to gently stretch your child's comfort zone and when to call it a night.

If your little one is nervous about ghosts, monsters, or just the noise and chaos of Halloween night, this episode will help you turn spooky season into a playful, confidence-building experience for your child and a less stressful one for you.

ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about Supportive Parenting for Anxious Childhood Emotions with Dr. Eli Lebowitz

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about building your child's resilience

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about supporting your child's emotional growth and regulation with Dr. Kristen Lindquist

WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:

Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!

Joining me this week is Kate Rope. We're talking about how parents can raise daughters who feel strong, capable, and deeply connected to themselves, while also supporting our own mental health as parents.

Together we explore:

- How to parent from hope (rather than fears) and why this can help your child feel safer, more capable, and resilient.

- How identifying your family's "North Star values" can guide you through tough parenting decisions.

- The deceptively simple, yet powerful shift of pausing and listening before reacting.

- Practical ways to nurture assertiveness, support healthy friendships, and help girls trust their inner voice.

- Why our own self-care and modeling are essential to raising strong, emotionally secure kids.

- How to create everyday opportunities for girls to practice autonomy, confidence, and consent.

Whether you're raising a daughter or simply want to strengthen the emotional wellbeing of the kids in your care, this conversation is filled with insight, validation, and real-life strategies you can start using right away.

LEARN MORE ABOUT MY GUEST:

🔗https://katerope.com/

📚Strong As a Girl: Your Guide to Raising Girls Who Know, Stand Up for, and Take Care of Themselves

📚Strong As a Mother: How to Stay Healthy, Happy, and (Most Importantly) Sane from Pregnancy to Parenthood: The Only Guide to Taking Care of YOU!

💻 https://katerope.substack.com/

FOLLOW US ON INSTAGRAM:

📱@kateropewriter

📱@drsarahbren

ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES:

🔗 Want to learn more about therapy and coaching resources at Upshur Bren 🔗 Want to learn more about therapy and coaching at Upshur Bren Psychology Group? Visit upshurbren.com to explore our services and schedule a free 30-minute consultation call to find the support that's right for your family.

CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:

🎧 304. Stress, screens, shifting hormones, and early puberty: Why parenting 6-12 year olds is more important now than ever with Dr. Sheryl Ziegler

🎧286. Empowering girls to navigate media, body image, and societal pressures with Dr. Jo-Ann Finkelstein

🎧146. The hidden dangers of an achievement centric approach with Jennifer Breheny Wallace

🎧 108. How to talk so your teen will listen (plus lay the groundwork for this when they're little) with Elizabeth Bennett