Securely Attached

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode Dr. Emily Upshur and I talk about...

- What is actually happening when your toddler cries over every little thing, from dropped toys to leaving the playground.

- Why saying "don't cry" often backfires, and what actually helps shorten the crying instead.

- The simple validation strategy that calms big feelings faster, even when every part of you wants the tears to stop.

- How to model emotional regulation by moving forward without ignoring your child or shutting their feelings down.

- When to offer empathy, when to add a little distraction (and why the order you do this really matters!) for helping toddlers build resilience.

If your child seems to dissolve into tears at the smallest frustration, this episode will help you understand the developmental reasons behind all that emotion and give you practical, real-world tools for supporting their feelings while still keeping your day moving.

REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES:

👉 Want games specifically designed for fostering emotion regulation? Go to drsarahbren.com/games to get my free guide packed with games you can play with kids of all ages!

CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:

🎧Listen to my podcast episode about helping parents decipher whether you have a child who is anxious or just sensitive

🎧Listen to my podcast episode about understanding toddlerhood with Devon Kuntzman

🎧Listen to my podcast episode about supporting your toddler's sleep with Eileen Henry

WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:

Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!

Pediatrician and bestselling author Dr. Golly (aka Dr. Daniel Golshevsky) joins me this week to help new parents make sense of the early weeks with a newborn and feel more grounded, confident, and connected along the way.

Together we explore:

- How to understand newborn behavior and cues so you can respond with more confidence.

- What really matters in the first four weeks — and what you can let go of.

- Why some babies struggle to settle, and how to support their developing nervous system.

- How to create flexible, supportive routines without slipping into rigidity or pressure.

- The powerful role of partners and non-breastfeeding caregivers in bonding and soothing.

- How parents can tune out the noise, trust their instincts, and feel less overwhelmed by conflicting advice.

Whether you're navigating confusing cues, unpredictable sleep, feeding challenges, colic, or the general overwhelm of early parenthood, this episode offers clarity and reassurance during one of the most intense transitions of your life.

LEARN MORE ABOUT MY GUEST:

🔗Learn more about Dr. Golly and use code securelyattachedVIP15 for 15% off all Dr Golly courses at www.drgolly.com

🔗Get Dr. Golly's free Sleeping Tips checklists

📚Your Baby Doesn't Come with a Book: Dr Golly's Guide to the First Four Weeks of Parenthood

📚Dr Golly's Guide to Family Illness: Sneezes, Wheezes and Common Diseases

📚Our Baby, Our Baby, What Do You Need?: A Dr Golly Lift-the-Flap book

📚Our Baby, Our Baby, What Did You Say?: A Dr Golly Lift-the-Flap book

FOLLOW US ON SOCIAL MEDIA:

📱@drgolly

📱@drsarahbren

ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES:

🔗 Go to drsarahbren.com/secure to download my free guide, The Four Pillars of Fostering Secure Attachment, helping you parent with a focus on attunement and trust.

WANT TO TAKE YOUR LEARNING EVEN FURTHER?

Join me in The Authentic Parent, my comprehensive self-paced course that takes my workshop to the next level and teaches you everything you need to know (that no one tells you ahead of time) for how to confidently move through your first year of parenthood.

CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about lightening the load in pregnancy and parenthood with Dr. Sterling

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode with a realistic look at postpartum and early parenthood with Dr. Jessica Vernon

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about movement in pregnancy and postpartum with Dr. Megan Roche

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about how "mom-brain" can be our greatest strength with Dr. Nicole Pensak

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode Dr. Emily Upshur and I talk about...

- What actually happens in a group therapy session for kids and how it differs from one-on-one therapy.

- How group therapy can help children practice social skills, build confidence, and feel less alone in their struggles.

- The fears many parents have about group therapy, including concerns about negative peer influence, comparison, or awkwardness.

- The different types of groups therapists run, including skills-based groups, process groups, and hybrid formats, and how to know which one fits your child best.

- Why peer support can be uniquely powerful for kids with anxiety or low self-esteem and how group leaders create a safe, supportive environment.

- What to ask a group leader before signing up so you can feel confident it will be the right match for your child.

If you've been curious whether group therapy might help your child feel supported, connected, and more capable in whatever challenges they are facing, this episode will give you a clear picture of what group work really looks like and how to decide if it could be a good fit for your kid.

REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES:

🔗 Want to learn more about group therapy and coaching resources at Upshur Bren Psychology Group? Visit upshurbren.com to explore our services and schedule a free 30-minute consultation call to find the support that's right for your family.

CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode determine the fine line between supporting your child versus feeding their anxiety

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about the different forms of therapy with Dr. Katie C. Lewis

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about why parenting 6-12 year olds is more important now than ever with Dr. Sheryl Ziegler

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about the difference between executive function coaching and tutoring

WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:

Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!

Pediatrician Dr. Caity Gilman joins me this week to unpack breath-holding spells, those frightening moments when a child turns blue or pale, goes limp, or briefly loses consciousness during intense emotion or dysregulation or pain.

Together we explore:

- The two types of breath-holding spells and what triggers each of them.

- Are certain children more prone to these episodes based on genetics, temperament, or other factors?

- What should parents do in the moment to keep their child safe, and how to know when it's time to call their pediatrician.

- What parents can do after a spell to comfort their child.

- Do these spells cause any long-term harm, or are they truly benign?

- How to support your child's emotion regulation and frustration tolerance between episodes.

If you're currently navigating breath-holding spells, or you simply want to feel more prepared for the unexpected moments that come with raising little ones, this episode offers clarity, reassurance, and practical guidance from both a pediatrician and a fellow parent who has lived this experience firsthand.

LEARN MORE ABOUT MY GUEST:

🔗 Dr. Caity Gilman

🎧 Listen to Caity's first episode about vaccine safety

LEARN MORE ABOUT ME:

🔗 drsarahbren.com

📱 @drsarahbren

CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about what to do if your child is afraid of going to the doctor

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about temperament, personality, and parenting with Dr. Koraly Pérez-Edgar

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about helping "Big Reactors" learn to regulate and manage their intense emotions with Claire Lerner

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about...

- How to start holiday traditions when you have a toddler and a new baby (without adding more pressure and stress to your plate!)

- Setting realistic expectations so you don't feel disappointed if the picture in your head and the reality with your kids look very different.

- How to stay flexible as your kids grow, their interests change, and your family evolves.

- Why kids often latch onto those unexpected and unplanned moments of joy and togetherness - and how realizing this can help take some of the pressure off parents.

- Simple ways to create meaningful holiday rituals, avoid overwhelm, and set a tone of joy, connection, and calm for your family this season.

Whether you're navigating multiple holidays, trying to balance gifts with meaning, or simply hoping to make this season feel special (without losing your mind), this episode will help you build traditions that truly fit your family and remind you that the magic often comes from doing less, not more.

ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about how to keep your child from becoming spoiled

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about whether elf on the shelf is unaligned (or not!) with positive parenting

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about how kids can get dysregulated from excitement too

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about what you can do to if your child gets pressured to perform for other adults

WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:

Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!

Joining me this week are Dr. William Stixrud and Ned Johnson, co-authors of the bestselling book The Self-Driven Child and leading experts on the neuroscience of stress, motivation, and autonomy.

Together we explore:

- Why a child's sense of control is one of the strongest predictors of resilience, mental health, and stress tolerance.

- How play, rest, and unstructured time uniquely support healthy brain development.

- The hidden ways over-scheduling, overstimulation, and constant "fixing" can unintentionally increase anxiety.

- What it really means to be a "non-anxious presence" — and how your calm helps regulate your child's nervous system.

- How to give kids space to struggle, experiment, and try hard things without overwhelming them or abandoning them.

- Practical, research-backed strategies for helping kids feel both safe and capable in a world that often feels anything but.

Whether you're raising a toddler or a teen, this conversation offers a grounded, science-backed reframe for understanding stress, resilience, and autonomy — and meaningful tools you can start using today to strengthen connection and help your child thrive.

LEARN MORE ABOUT MY GUESTS:

🔗 https://theselfdrivenchild.com/

🎧 The Self-Driven Child Podcast

📚 The Self-Driven Child: The Science and Sense of Giving Your Kids More Control Over Their Lives

📚 The Seven Principles for Raising a Self-Driven Child: A Workbook

📚 What Do You Say?: How to Talk with Kids to Build Motivation, Stress Tolerance, and a Happy Home

🎧 The neuroscience of control: Helping kids cope with stress and become self-driven with Dr. William Stixrud

FOLLOW US ON INSTAGRAM:

📱@selfdrivenchild

📱@drbillstixrud

📱@theothernedjohnson

📱@drsarahbren

ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES:

🔗 Learned Helplessness at Fifty: Insights from Neuroscience

🔗 Rest Is Not Idleness: Implications of the Brain's Default Mode for Human Development and Education

🔗 A Social-Cognitive Approach to Motivation and Personality

🔗 Effects of the COVID-19 Pandemic on Mental Health and Brain Maturation in Adolescents: Implications for Analyzing Longitudinal Data

📚 The Anxious Generation: How the Great Rewiring of Childhood Is Causing an Epidemic of Mental Illness

CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about treating childhood anxiety through SPACE with the creator of this modality Dr. Eli Lebowitz

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about the right (and wrong!) way to foster your child's independent play

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about the hidden dangers of an achievement centric approach with Jennifer Breheny Wallace

🎧 Listen to my podcast about how RIE can evolve into lifelong respectful parenting with Janet Lansbury

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about...

- If it's normal for a toddlers to say "I'm sorry" constantly, even when they haven't done anything wrong.

- Breaking down child development: How repetition and "theory of mind" shape early empathy and build social awareness.

- How to know when frequent apologizing is just a normal developmental phase (and when it might signal something more).

- The subtle ways parents can unintentionally reinforce this habit (and some phrases and actions to try instead.)

- How to respond to your child in the moment to build confidence, connection, and emotional understanding.

If your little one apologizes for every stubbed toe, sibling squabble, or frustrated sigh, this episode will help you understand what's really going on and how to gently guide them toward more accurate empathy, without worry or overcorrection.

REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES:

📚 Want practical tools to help your child learn to manage big feelings? Go to drsarahbren.com/games to download my free guide, Strengthen Your Child's Emotion Regulation Skills Through Play. It's a resource packed with simple, fun games you can play with your child to strengthen their ability to recognize, express, and regulate their emotions.

CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:

🎧Listen to my podcast episode about understanding toddlerhood with Devon Kuntzman

🎧Listen to my podcast episode about supporting your toddler's sleep with Eileen Henry

🎧Listen to my podcast episode about how not to raise a people pleaser

WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:

Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!

Alé Duarte, somatic therapist and creator of KidSoma joins me this week to explore how tuning into your child's natural rhythms can completely transform the way you understand their emotions and reactions.

Together we unpack:

- Why play isn't a break from learning, it is the learning.

- What it means to help your child "complete a cycle" so their nervous system can settle and grow.

- How "unfinished cycles" can leave kids dysregulated, impulsive, or anxious—and what parents can do to help their child complete these cycles in daily life.

- Realistic ways to implement these strategies even when you're juggling busy schedules, time pressures, and the realities of everyday parenting.

- Why slowing down and following your child's lead can actually make mornings smoother, transitions easier, and connection deeper.

If you've ever wished you could understand what's happening underneath your child's big emotions and find a calmer rhythm for your entire family system, this conversation will change the way you see play, presence, and parenting.

LEARN MORE ABOUT MY GUEST:

🔗Alè Duarte

🔗 Kid Soma

🎧 Regulation, reward systems, and rest: Rewiring the way our kids interact with screens with Alé Duarte

FOLLOW US ON SOCIAL MEDIA:

📱IG: @aleduarte_international YouTube: @aleduartetube

📱@drsarahbren

ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES:

🔗 What is Somatic Experiencing?

👉 Want games specifically designed for fostering emotion regulation? Go to drsarahbren.com/games to get my free guide packed with games you can play with kids of all ages!

CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about choosing between play therapy for kids and parenting support

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about the benefits of mindfulness

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about using play to strengthen your child's secure attachment bond with Vered Benhorin

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode Dr. Emily Upshur and I talk about...

- Why kids often say "this is boring" when something actually feels too hard or frustrating.

- How to tell whether your child's struggle with schoolwork might be about motivation, confidence, or a deeper learning challenge.

- What to do when tutoring or extra practice starts leading to power struggles or resistance.

- The pros and cons of reward systems, and how to use incentives in a way that truly motivates your child (without creating more stress).

- When to consider a school-based or private evaluation—and how to know which supports will make the biggest difference for your child's unique struggles.

If your child has started saying they "hate school" or "reading is boring" this episode will help you understand what's really driving that resistance and give you practical, compassionate ways to make learning feel lighter, more motivating, and even fun again.

REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES:

🔗 Learn about the Orton-Gillingham approach to reading for those with dyslexia

👉 If you're starting to wonder whether your child's challenges with learning might be more than a motivation issue, our Neuropsychological Testing services can help. Visit https://upshurbren.com/neuropsychological-testing to learn how we assess and support children with learning differences, or schedule a free call to talk through what resources might be right for your child.

ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:

🎧Listen to my podcast episode about the difference between tutoring and executive functioning skills

🎧Listen to my podcast episode about the neuroscience of raising emotionally resilient kids with Dr. Kristen Lindquist

🎧Listen to my podcast episode about the best response for when your child says "I'm bored"

🎧Listen to my podcast episode about using creativity to support mental health and resilience Sharon Itkoff Nacache

WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:

Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!

Joining me this week is therapist and the author of the new book Millennial Menopause: Preparing for Perimenopause, Menopause, and Life's Next Period, Lauren A. Tetenbaum.

Together we explore:

- The perimenopause symptoms that often begin in your 30s and 40s, long before your period stops.

- How hormonal changes affect your mood, identity, relationships, and sense of self — and why understanding this can be profoundly grounding.

- Why perimenopause isn't just a "women's issue," but a family and cultural one, impacting partners, kids, and the emotional climate of a home.

- How to talk to your kids (yes, including your sons!) about menstruation, menopause, and the full arc of reproductive life in ways that reduce shame and build empathy.

- Practical strategies for navigating this transition, including how to advocate for yourself with healthcare providers, what kinds of support actually help, and how to build a mental health plan that works for your body and life.

Our message is simple but powerful: when women understand what's happening in their bodies and get the support they deserve, they're able to move through this transition with more confidence, steadiness, and compassion for themselves and the people they love.

LEARN MORE ABOUT MY GUEST:

🔗The CounseLaur

📚Millennial Menopause: Preparing for Perimenopause, Menopause, and Life's Next Period

🎧 Balancing the load of parenthood: Becoming a team with your partner-in-parenting with Lauren A. Tetenbaum

FOLLOW US ON INSTAGRAM:

📱@thecounselaur

📱@drsarahbren

ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES:

🔗 The Menopause Society

CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about the cycle of the female body, from puberty to perimenopause with Dr. Lauren Streicher

🎧Listen to the podcast episode about why boys and girls need different things with Michael Gurian

🎧Listen to my podcast episode about raising girls who know their worth with Kate Rope

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about parenting boys to combat toxic masculinity with Ruth Whippman