Securely Attached

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode Dr. Emily Upshur and I talk about...

- The difference between executive function coaching and academic tutoring, and how to decide which is right for your child.

- Practical systems and routines (like planners, folders, and structured study spaces) that you can implement yourself to help your child stay on top of assignments.

- How to co-create routines and systems with your child that build independence and make them more likely to stick with it.

- When to consider a neuropsychological evaluation for your child—and how identifying whether challenges stem from ADHD, learning differences, or executive functioning deficits can help you target the right supports to strengthen their skills.

- How parents can support their child without overwhelming them or stretching family resources too thin.

Understanding the difference between executive function coaching and tutoring can make all the difference in getting your child the support they truly need. This episode will help you feel confident and informed as you decide what's right for your family.

REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES:

🔹 If your child struggles with organization, planning, or follow-through, executive function support can make a huge difference. At Upshur Bren Psychology Group, we offer in-person and virtual coaching nationwide. Visit upshurbren.com/executive-function-coaching to learn more or schedule a free consult call to find the right support for your child.

🔹 Wondering if a Neuropsychological Evaluation could help clarify your child's challenges? Visit upshurbren.com/neuropsychological-testing to learn more about the services we offer at Upshur Bren Psychology Group, or schedule a quick, free call to talk through your child's unique needs and explore the best next steps.

ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about determining if a Neuropsych Evaluation is right for your child with Dr. Yael Rothman & Dr. Katia Fredriksen

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about the hidden dangers of an achievement centric approach with Jennifer Breheny Wallace

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about how technology in schools impacts learning, child development, and mental health with Andy Liddell

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about why boys and girls need different things with Michael Gurian

WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:

Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!

Joining me is Dr. Stephen Porges, one of the most influential voices in modern neuroscience and the creator of Polyvagal Theory, the framework that has transformed how we understand safety, connection, and emotional regulation.

Together we explore:

- How Polyvagal Theory emerged and how it builds upon attachment theory to explain our biological need for safety and connection.

- The science behind our "gut feelings," and how the body reflexively detects safety and threat in our environment.

- Why hypersensitivities can cause us to misread others' intentions and what this reveals about our own physiological state.

- Why thinking in circular patterns rather than cause-and-effect can transform how we interpret behavior.

- Why so many parenting strategies fall flat when a child's nervous system is in a defensive state, and practical ways to reshape these moments to be more effective.

- The hopeful truth that the nervous system is flexible and how "retuning" it can repair patterns of stress and disconnection.

Dr. Porges's groundbreaking research offers a powerful new lens for understanding the human condition, revealing how our nervous system shapes behavior and influences the way we relate to our children, our partners, and ourselves. At its core, it's a reminder that beneath all our words and actions lies a shared biological need to feel safe, seen, and connected.

LEARN MORE ABOUT MY GUEST:

🔗 https://www.polyvagalinstitute.org/

🔗 https://www.whatisthessp.com/

ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES:

📚 Our Polyvagal World: How Safety and Trauma Change Us by Stephen W. Porges PhD and Seth Porges

🎧 Unlocking the power of polyvagal theory: Using the nervous system to wire our children for resilience with Seth Porges

👉 Click HERE for my workshop, Be the Calm in Your Child's Storm: How to Keep Your Cool When Your Child Loses Theirs, to get the exact therapeutic interventions I use with my patients that can change the way your brain and body interprets your child's dysregulation to help you stay cool in the heat of the moment.

CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:

🎧 Parenting highly sensitive kids: Helping "Big Reactors" learn to regulate and manage their intense emotions with Claire Lerner

🎧 Teaching children emotion regulation skills through coregulation with Dana Rosenbloom

🎧 Using presence as the antidote to trauma: How we begin to break cycles with Dr. Jacob Ham

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about...

- How to stay connected to your older children while caring for a baby in the NICU.

- Why consistency, rituals, and transitional objects can help kids feel secure when routines are disrupted.

- Creative ways to maintain a sense of closeness, even when you can't physically be present.

- How to involve siblings in bonding with the new baby from afar.

- Why it's okay to give yourself grace and lean on support systems during this stressful time.

If you've ever worried about balancing the needs of multiple children during a family crisis, this episode offers compassionate guidance and practical strategies to help your older kids feel loved, supported, and secure—even when life pulls you in different directions.

REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES:

🎧NICU Survival Guide with the founders of NICU Nook, Dr. Stephanie Simon and Amanda Neilan

📚 Growing Families: Helping Children Cope with a New Sibling

CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about how "mom brain" can be our greatest strength, not our biggest weakness with Dr. Nicole Pensak

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about processing birth trauma with Dr. Sterling

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about maternal health and Internal Family Systems with Rebecca Geshuri and Paige Bellenbaum

WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:

Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!

In this episode, OT and interoception expert Kelly Mahler uncovers the 8th sense and dives into how interoception plays such a foundational role in children's ability to regulate their bodies, emotions, and behaviors.

Together, we discuss:

- What interoception is and how it impacts everything from toileting and eating to emotional regulation and social connection.

- Why some kids struggle to notice or interpret their body's signals and how this can show up as meltdowns, anxiety, or difficulties with attention.

- Practical, relational strategies parents can use at home to help kids strengthen interoceptive awareness through play, modeling, and curiosity.

- How occupational therapy can support children's sensory and emotional development beyond (spoiler: it's more than improving just handwriting or fine motor skills).

If you've ever wondered why your child seems to go from 0 to 100 in seconds, or why calming strategies don't always seem to "stick," this conversation will give you new insights and tools to help your child build lifelong regulation skills from the inside out.

LEARN MORE ABOUT MY GUEST:

🔗 https://www.kelly-mahler.com/

📚 The Interoception Curriculum

📱 Join the Interoception: The Eighth Sensory System Facebook Group

FOLLOW US ON INSTAGRAM:

📱 @kelly_mahler

📱@drsarahbren

ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES:

👉 Want games specifically designed for fostering emotion regulation? Go to drsarahbren.com/games to get my free guide packed with games you can play with kids of all ages!

CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about emotion regulation during the middle years with Alyssa Blask Campbell

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about sensory sensitivity with The OT Butterfly Laura Petix

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about polyvagal theory with Seth Porges

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about...

• Are there different "rules" when disciplining kids with a neurodiverse condition, like autism, if they act aggressively toward your child?

• The difference between protecting your child and overstepping another parent's role.

• Practical, respectful ways to set boundaries with kids who aren't yours.

• How to manage playdates so everyone feels safe, supported, and set up for success.

• Why parents' "thresholds" for conflict differ, and how to navigate those differences with compassion.

• The value of open communication (with other parents and your own child) in tricky social dynamics.

If you've ever found yourself unsure about intervening when someone else's child crosses a line, this episode offers clear guidance, empathy, and strategies to help you respond with confidence while keeping all kids safe

REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES:

🔗 Want to learn more about therapy and coaching at Upshur Bren Psychology Group? Visit upshurbren.com to explore our services and schedule a free 30-minute consultation call to find the support that's right for your family.

ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about fostering secure attachment in your child's peer relationships with Dr. Eileen Kennedy-Moore

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about neurodivergent brains and sleep with Dr. Funke Afolabi-Brown

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about treating autism with a strength based approach with Dr. Lynn Kern Koegel

WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:

Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!

Joining me is Ash Brandin, educator and author of Power On: Managing Screen Time to Benefit the Whole Family. Ash brings a fresh, nonjudgmental perspective to how families can navigate technology with intention and respect.

Together we explore:

- Why the "less is better" approach to screens often creates guilt and power struggles, plus a strategy that is more effective.

- How to use Ash's "ABCs of screen time" framework (access, behavior, and content) to make intentional choices that meet everyone's needs.

- The importance of respect and collaboration in setting screen boundaries (and boundaries in general) which help kids learn to be active participants, not passive rule-followers.

- How video games are a form of play that, used intentionally, can build autonomy, resilience, and connection.

- Practical strategies to help kids notice their internal states, regulate emotions, and transfer those skills beyond screens.

Whether you're navigating video games, phones, or family movie nights, this conversation offers practical tools and a compassionate perspective to help your whole family build a healthier relationship with technology.

LEARN MORE ABOUT MY GUEST:

🔗 https://www.thegamereducator.com/

📚 Power On: Managing Screen Time to Benefit the Whole Family

📚 The Gamer Educator Substack

FOLLOW US ON INSTAGRAM:

📱@thegamereducator

📱@drsarahbren

ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES:

🔗 I'm so excited to be partnering with PokPok to offer you an exclusive discount. You'll get 25% off, plus a 7-day free trial to see how it works for your family. Go to drsarahbren.com/pokpok and introduce your child to screen time that feels more like playtime.

CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about regulation and screen time with Alé Duarte

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about EdTech with Andy Liddell

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about how smartphones really affect kids' mental health with Dr. Wendy Rote

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about battling over screen time with The Screentime Consultant Emily Cherkin

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about...

• Why your child may not calm down, even when you lead with empathy and connection.

• How to redefine what it means for a strategy to "work" in the heat of the moment.

• The role of patience and presence when your child's nervous system just isn't ready to shift.

• Why successful co-regulation doesn't always mean a calm child.

• How to disengage without disconnecting—and why that can sometimes be the most effective approach.

• Practical ways to support yourself so you can stay regulated when your child isn't.

If you've ever tried "all the right things" and still found yourself stuck with a child who can't calm down, this episode will help you feel validated, supported, and grounded in what you can (and can't) control.

REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES:

👉 Want games specifically designed for fostering emotion regulation? Go to drsarahbren.com/games to get my free guide packed with games you can play with kids of all ages!

ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about the psychology of dysregulation with Cara Goodwin

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about using coregulation with Dana Rosenbloom

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about raising emotionally resilient children with Dr. Kristen Lindquist

WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:

Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!

Parenting in the middle years (ages 5–12) comes with big feelings, new social pressures, and challenges parents don't always see coming. Alyssa Blask Campbell, author of the new book, Big Kids, Bigger Feelings, joins me this week to unpack the emotional, social, and developmental shifts of the middle years.

Together we explore:

• The ninth sense: neuroception. How this rarely talked about sense shapes kids' feelings of safety, belonging, and regulation.

• What it means to support kids based on their unique nervous system and sensory profile (and why one-size-fits-all strategies don't work).

• How to replace control with curiosity to strengthen connection and reduce conflict.

• The role of social belonging, identity, and "fitting in" during the elementary years—and why what feels small to us can feel huge to them.

• Practical tools for navigating anxiety, dysregulation, and big feelings in ways that foster resilience and confidence.

Big kids really do have bigger feelings—and this episode will leave you with fresh insights, concrete strategies, and a sense of clarity as you support your child through these transformative years.

LEARN MORE ABOUT MY GUEST:

🔗 https://www.seedandsew.org/

🎧 Listen to the Voices of your Village podcast

🤔 Take the Seed and Sew Regulation Questionnaire - seedquiz.com

📚Tiny Humans, Big Emotions: How to Navigate Tantrums, Meltdowns, and Defiance to Raise Emotionally Intelligent Children

📚 Big Kids, Bigger Feelings: Navigating Defiance, Meltdowns, and Anxiety to Raise Confident, Connected Kids

🎧 140. How understanding our child's sensory sensitivities can help us strength their emotional intelligence with Alyssa Blask Campbell

FOLLOW US ON INSTAGRAM:

📱@seed.and.sew

📱@drsarahbren

REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES:

👉🏻 Want games specifically designed for fostering emotion regulation? Go to drsarahbren.com/games to get my free guide packed with games you can play with kids of all ages!

ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about Polyvagal Theory and using the nervous system to wire our children for resilience with Seth Porges

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about understanding sensory sensitivities with occupational therapist Laura Petix

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about Supportive Parenting for Anxious Childhood Emotions with Dr. Eli Lebowitz

🎧Listen to my podcast episode about school refusal with Dr. Erica Miller

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about...

• Why intentionality and authenticity are the most important tools when building new relationships with kids.

• How to manage nerves, regulate your own emotions, and follow the children's lead so the interaction feels natural and comfortable.

• Practical strategies for structuring the first meeting (think short, sweet, semi-structured, and supervised) to set everyone up for success.

• How to consider the larger family context, including co-parenting dynamics and whether a conversation with the children's dad could be helpful.

• Why keeping expectations realistic and aiming simply for "they'd like to see me again" can take the pressure off and allow genuine connection to grow over time.

Whether you're stepping into a blended family yourself, supporting a partner who is, or just curious about how kids adjust to new relationships, this episode offers insight, validation, and practical takeaways to make those first meetings a little less daunting—and a lot more positive!

REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES:

👉🏻 Interested in joining a weekly virtual support group for women navigating divorce? Led by an experienced therapist, this group offers a safe space to process emotions, gain support, and build strategies for moving forward. To learn more or join the waitlist, visit upshurbren.com/group-womensdivorce or schedule a free 30-minute consultation call to see if this group is the right fit for you.

ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode busting myths about divorce with Michelle Dempsey-Multack

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about how to navigate divorce or separation while prioritizing secure attachment with Una Archer

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about whether or not you want to choose to "nest" during separations

WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:

Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!

Joining me is Dr. Stuart Ablon, a psychologist, Harvard Medical School professor, founder and director of Think:Kids at Massachusetts General Hospital, and author of several books, including Changeable: How Collaborative Problem Solving Changes Lives at Home, at School, and at Work.

Together we explore:

• Why kids' struggles are more about lagging skills than lack of motivation.

• The importance of empathy, co-regulation, and relationship-building in reducing conflict.

• The 3 "plans" parents can choose from when kids aren't meeting expectations—and how to use them effectively.

• How Collaborative Problem Solving offers a structured yet compassionate alternative to "tough love" or "gentle parenting."

• Practical ways to use this approach proactively and in the heat of the moment.

• How practicing this method not only improves behavior, but also fosters resilience, flexibility, and stronger parent–child bonds.

Whether you're a parent, teacher, or clinician, this conversation offers practical tools and a fresh perspective to help you support kids with understanding, structure, and collaboration

LEARN MORE ABOUT MY GUEST:

🔗 https://www.stuartablon.com/

🔗 https://thinkkids.org/

📚 Changeable: How Collaborative Problem Solving Changes Lives at Home, at School, and at Work

💻 Tedx Talk

FOLLOW US ON INSTAGRAM:

📱@thinkkidscps

📱@drsarahbren

ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES:

👉 Dr. Ablon has generously shared an amazing parenting resource with us. Visit https://thinkkids.org/Self-Paced-Courses/Parent-Caregiver-Course/ and use Code: SecurelyAttached to get access to this course for ✨FREE✨ Available in both English and Spanish.

💥 Tired of constant battles with your child? Watch my ✨FREE✨ workshop, Overcoming Power Struggles, where I'll teach you the exact strategies I use in my clinical practice to help parents break free from the cycle of yelling, threats, and negotiations—and instead foster cooperation, connection, and calm. Just visit drsarahbren.com/powerstruggles to get instant access to this workshop.

📚 The Explosive Child: A New Approach For Understanding And Parenting Easily Frustrated, Chronically Inflexible Children

CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:

🎧 328. The neuroscience of raising emotionally resilient kids: Supporting your child's emotional growth and regulation with Dr. Kristen Lindquist

🎧24. The psychology behind dysregulation with founder of Parenting Translator Cara Goodwin

🎧06. Teaching children emotion regulation skills through coregulation with Dana Rosenbloom

🎧318. The neuroscience of control: Helping kids cope with stress and become self-driven with Dr. William Stixrud