Securely Attached

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg and I talk about...

- Breaking down the difference between having differing political view points versus someone having extremist views.

- How the health of our relationships with our parents is often intertwined with our relationship with ourselves, our kids, and our entire family system.

- How to manage feeling lost, un-seen, and destabilized when a parent shifts to being less of a secure attachment figure.

- Does this change in your parent's views and values mean you have to throw out all the things you have learned from them that inform your approach to raising your own kids?

- When it's best to try to compartmentalize things your parent might say, and when it's necessary to hold firm boundaries.

- Learn Dr. Sarah's simple framework for setting and holding effective boundaries.

ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about setting boundaries with your in-laws

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about fostering deep and meaningful realationshisp with Dr. Rick Hanson

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about mindfulness with Diana Winston

WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:

Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!

Music therapist Vered Benhorin is teaching parents how they can use play and music as powerful tools to strengthen connection, foster attachment, and make parenting feel a little easier.

In this episode, we explore:

- Why play is so important for emotional regulation, attachment, and connection—and how parents who don't naturally enjoy play can redefine what it looks like.

- What are "Bubble Moments," and how can parents tap into these times throughout the day to deepen their relationship with their child?

- How music impacts the brain, reinforcing neural networks that support routines, emotional regulation, and even executive functioning skills.

- The science behind a "sing-song" voice and why it feels so regulating for both you and your child.

- How to expand your definition of play to find activities that feel fun and authentic for you as a parent.

Whether you're looking to strengthen your bond with your child, better understand attachment theory, or discover simple ways to use music and play to make parenting more joyful, this episode is packed with insights and practical advice you won't want to miss!

LEARN MORE ABOUT VERED:

https://www.babyintune.com/

READ VERED'S NEW BOOK:

📚 What Do I Do with My Baby All Day?!: Simple Ways to Have the Best First Year Together

LISTEN TO VERED'S MUSIC:

🎵 Listen on Spotify

ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES:

👉🏻 Download my free guide, Strengthen Your Child's Emotion Regulation Skills Through Play, to help your child learn to calm their brains and bodies.

CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:

🎧 How parents can use music as an emotion regulator with Vered Benhorin

🎧 Breaking the cycle of insecure attachment: How to support your child's secure attachment even if you didn't grow up with it, with Dr. Miriam Steele

🎧 A 10-year-old's take on starting a new school year, navigating friendships, and what he wants every parent to keep in mind

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg and I talk about...

- What does it mean to be "nesting" during a divorce?

- What types of logistical and emotional factors to consider to help you determine if this is a good choice for your family.

- What are the pros and cons of nesting for kids (and for you!)

- How to help kids feel secure during a separation, whether you've decided to nest with your ex or not.

- A script for helping your child understand the difference between love in a parent-child relationship and love in a romantic adult relationship. This distinction can help kids who may be worried that they will get left too.

ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode busting some common misconceptions about divorce with Michelle Dempsey-Multack

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about parenting with a narcissist

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about what to do after you and your partner have a big fight in front of your kids

WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:

Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!

Sibling relationships are some of the longest-lasting and most influential relationships in our lives, but they're also filled with complexity. Dr. Jonathan Caspi, a renowned expert on sibling relationships, is breaking down the fascinating science behind sibling dynamics and sharing actionable advice for parents.

In this episode we explore:

- The surprising science behind why if you give two siblings and two strangers personality tests, the siblings wouldn't be any more similar than the strangers.

- The importance of neutrality in parental interventions with siblings and how this can prevent feelings of favoritism and resentment.

- Practical strategies for managing sibling conflict: Like what to say in the heat of the moment to support their problem-solving skills, what to focus on (and what to ignore) to build closeness and empathy, and how to know it's time to get involved vs. when to let them work it out themselves, and more!

- How to respond if your child struggles when you bring a new baby home with methods that foster closeness and decrease rivalry.

- Insider versus outsider status: How parents can unintentionally create sibling rivalry, and what to do instead.

- The vital importance of parental regulation and how to stay calm when our "mama bear" instincts are triggered.

Whether you're trying to navigate sibling squabbles, encourage connection, or simply understand the dynamics at play in your own family, this episode is packed with fascinating insights and practical tools you won't want to miss!

LEARN MORE ABOUT DR. JONATHAN CASPI:

https://siblingexpert.com/

READ DR. JONATHAN'S BOOK:

📚 Sibling Aggression: Assessment and Treatment

FOLLOW US ON INSTAGRAM:

• @siblingexpert

• @drsarahbren

ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES:

• Research Study: Why are siblings so different?

CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:

🎧 Understanding parental dysregulation: How to identify and manage your triggers with Dr. Amber Thornton

🎧 The science of "mom-rage" and how to use mindfulness as a tool for being less reactive with Diana Winston

🎧 Raising emotionally intelligent sons: Parenting boys to combat "toxic masculinity" with Ruth Whippman

🎧 Getting on the same page as your partner in parenting

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg and I talk about...

- What is developmentally typical for 2-year-olds when it comes to manners and patience?

- Understanding impulse control, joint attention, and attunement - and how to use these 3 things to help you know how to respond to your child when they are demanding your attention.

- When to pause to validate your child's desire, and when it's okay to ignore their request.

- How to help your child tolerate waiting (no matter how big their reaction is to being told they need to wait.)

- How to collaboratively problem solve with your child to come up with strategies around what they CAN do to interrupt you when they need your attention.

ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about parenting a toddler with the co-authors of the Terrific Toddlers series, Carol Zeavin and Rhona Silverbush

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about responding to your child who loses their cool when they get frustrated

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about appropriate consequences when your child doesn't listen to you

🎧 Listen to my podcast about how to keep your child from becoming a spoiled brat

WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:

Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!

What role do early attachment relationships play in shaping who we become? In this episode, Dr. Alan Sroufe, a pioneering researcher in attachment, shares decades of insights from his groundbreaking longitudinal study.

Together we explore:

- How Dr. Sroufe's research answered the question: Do early experiences leave a lasting legacy?

- Why resilience isn't just about thriving in the face of adversity, but is deeply rooted in the strength of attachment relationships.

- The importance of early relationships in helping children develop a sense of safety, positive self-worth, and durable relationships.

- A hopeful message that attachment isn't fixed and that secure relationships in adolescence and adulthood can change developmental trajectories, even after challenging childhoods.

- Why the quality, not quantity, of time with your child matters most (and what babies can teach us about connection).

- How parents can help shape the meaning children make of their world and guide them through challenges with empathy.

Dr. Sroufe's work shows that while early experiences are never erased, they're always building blocks for growth—and recovery is always possible.

READ THE BOOK DR. ALAN'S RECOMMENDS PARENTS START WITH:

📚 A Compelling Idea: How We Become the Persons We Are

ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES:

👉🏻 Click HERE to download my free guide, The Four Pillars of Fostering Secure Attachment, helping you parent with a focus on attunement and trust.

GET MY ON-DEMAND COURSE FOR PARENTING SENSITIVE CHILDREN:

👉🏻 Learn more about Parenting by Design, my guided program for increasing behavioral and emotional regulation in sensitive kids.

CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:

🎧 Breaking the cycle of insecure attachment: How to support your child's secure attachment even if you didn't grow up with it with Dr. Miriam Steele

🎧 Secure attachment is optimal, but insecure attachment may not be as bad as we think with Dr. Or Dagan

🎧 How to use the principles of attachment science to make parenting easier

🎧 Can my kid be securely attached to me if I'm insecurely attached in my adult relationships?

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Emily Upshur and I talk about...

- It can be tricky to maintain relationships when you're in different stages of life from your friends and it's common for some to atrophy after you become a parent.

- Unpacking all the feelings you may have about this: fear, guilt, grief, and more!

- Practical strategies for creating a simple routine that is easy for you to maintain, but will also allow you to keep these relationships from going too long without any checkins.

- When you are changed by motherhood, you may slip into black-and-white thinking with regard to your friendships. We offer you a perspective shift you can use to challenge that.

- How to check in with yourself so you can understand the root of your desires for connection, which will help you create realistic anchors that will actually meet your needs.

- Time management and scheduling hacks that can help you be intentional about protecting the time you do have.

- How to repair bonds with friends who may feel hurt, slighted, or abandoned by you.

ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about the science of "mom-rage" with Diana Winston

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about identifying and managing your triggers with Dr. Amber Thornton

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about finding balance with Chelsi Jo

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about overcoming parental burnout

WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:

Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!

Discover how maternal mental health care is evolving and why specialized support is critical for mothers with Paige Bellenbaum, LCSW, PMH-C and Rebecca Geshuri, LMFT, PMH-C.

In this episode we explore:

- What dyadic work is and how this can be especially beneficial for mothers and birthing people for developing a bond with their child.

- How Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy can support mothers in addressing their inner "mom parts" that contribute to feelings of failure and overwhelm.

- How polarized parts and perfectionism can create distress in motherhood and how embracing a "both-and" mentality can offer relief and self-compassion.

- The questions to ask when looking for a provider to ensure they're trained in maternal mental health and understand the complexities of this life stage.

- Why it's so important for pediatricians, OBGYNs, or anyone who often comes into contact with birthing parents to have even a basic understanding of this transformative experience.

Whether you're a mother seeking support, a professional working with birthing parents, or simply someone invested in breaking the stigma around mental health and motherhood, this episode is filled with practical insights you won't want to miss.

REGISTER FOR THE TRAINING ON FEB. 27:

Go to upshurbren.com/IFSTraining to register for this 3-hour workshop designed to teach professionals how to integrate Internal Family Systems concepts into maternal mental health services to provide improved support for moms.

LEARN MORE ABOUT THE MOTHERHOOD CENTER:

https://themotherhoodcenter.com/

LEARN MORE ABOUT REBECCA:

https://www.rebeccageshurilmft.com/get-to-know-me

ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES:

• Postpartum Support International

• Ghosts in the Nursery: A Psychoanalytic Approach to the Problems of Impaired Infant-Mother Relationships

LISTEN TO PAIGE & REBECCA'S PAST EPISODES:

🎧 Using Internal Family Systems to emotionally support mothers with the creators of The Mothercentric Approach

🎧 Preventing tragedy and shining a light on postpartum psychosis: What it is, what it's not, and how to find support for yourself or a loved one with Paige Bellenbaum

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Emily Upshur and I talk about...

- How to best approach daycare transitions and is there a right or a wrong answer to this question?

- The most important questions to ask yourself to determine which of these scenarios will be easiest for your unique child.

- Is it better to have a single, potentially steeper transition or a slower, more incremental transition?

- The key things to consider (like sleep habits, separation anxiety, etc.) to help you determine which is best for your individual situation.

- Zooming out to see how this change will impact the entire family system and adding these factors into your decision making process.

REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES:

📚 Transitioning to a new daycare

ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about turning parenthood into a career asset with Lauren Smith Brody

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about helping child with separation anxiety

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about being a working parent with Daisy Dowling

WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:

Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!

Neha Ruch is sharing strategies for embracing flexibility as you balance, shift, and grow in both your career and parenthood.

In this episode we explore:

- How to redefine what "career" means to you at this stage of life and navigate the evolving roles of being a working or stay-at-home parent.

- Why downshifting your career can be a valuable smaller step if you're not ready to take a full pause.

- Preparing for this transition to feel less overwhelming—emotionally, financially, and in terms of your shifting identity.

- Supporting women in feeling validated and respected in their choices to dial up or down in their careers.

- How motherhood can be a time to foster creativity and the importance of staying connected to what brings you joy—whether it's for work or personal fulfillment.

- A good first step for moms who don't know where to begin in making this shift.

- What a "family administration" meeting is and how to evaluate what's working and what's not—giving yourself permission to let go of what isn't serving you.

Don't miss this episode that will help you redefine what career means to you!

LEARN MORE ABOUT NEHA:

https://www.motheruntitled.com/

READ NEHA'S NEW BOOK:

📚 The Power Pause: How to Plan a Career Break After Kids--and Come Back Stronger Than Ever

ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES:

🎧 Listen to Neha's first Securely Attached episode, Redefining what it means to be a stay-at-home parent with Neha Ruch

📱 I sang my sister's praise in this episode! Check out @mychicnest to follow along with her interior design account.

CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:

🎧 Going back to work after baby: Maintaining a healthy and secure attachment bond Q&A with Dr. Emily Upshur

🎧 Turning parenthood into a career asset for working moms and dads with The Fifth Trimester's Lauren Smith Brody

🎧 What it means to be a working parent today: Challenging parental guilt, managing your time, and setting effective boundaries with Daisy Dowling