Securely Attached

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about...

- It may be taboo to say, but it's very common for parents to feel more connected to one child than another.

- A sample script you can use with your kids to articulate the different types of relationship dynamics you have with each of them that will serve to actually strengthen your bond.

- Some kids require extra support which may lead to more friction in your relationship - how you can orient these kids to what connects you over what is more challenging about your relationship.

- Why focusing on children's strengths, especially children who are more sensitive or explosive, can be so crucial.

- How you can form a stronger bond with a child who you may not naturally feel as easily connected to.

ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about how to respond if your child is favoring one parent

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about the pressure to be a perfect mom with Gayane Aramyan

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about fostering deep and meaningful relationships with Dr. Rick Hanson

WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:

Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!

What if small shifts in your awareness and energy could help you feel more connected, present, and empowered—not just as a parent, but as a whole person? Energy practitioner Stephanie Filardi is joining me this week to help us explore how being aligned and connected to yourself allows you to make choices that support not only your child's mental health, but your own well-being, too. In this episode, we explore:

• The difference between "woo-woo" energy healing and what research actually shows about the mind-body connection.
• How we can direct our focus and beliefs to shift our energy and mindset.
• Why no emotion is inherently bad—and how to work with difficult feelings, rather than against them, in yourself and your child.
• What meditation can open up for you and how to use it practically in your parenting life.
• What it really means to "accept what is"—and how this concept can reduce stress and increase clarity.
• How our kids pick up on our energy (even when we don't say a word).
• What research reveals about how attention shapes our brain and behavior.
• The ego's role in pulling us out of alignment—and how to shift from control to connection.
• A calming, grounding meditation you can return to anytime you feel overwhelmed.

If you're craving more ease and alignment in your life and parenting, this episode is full of actionable insights that will help you shift out of burnout and into a more grounded, intentional way of being.

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Emily Upshur and I talk about...

- What are sensory seeking and sensory inhibiting behaviors and drives?

- How you can determine whether your child's "aggressive behaviors" are actually sensory seeking - and how this changes the interventions you use.

- Are these behaviors volitional? Our answer might surprise you!

- What to do if your child's aggressive behaviors don't seem to be fueled by a reaction to anything in the environment (aka, they hit the kid next to them seemingly out of nowhere.)

- The occupational therapy strategies that parents can use with your kids to activate their sensory input systems.

- Why helping kids understand themselves opens the door to allowing them to build their regulation toolkit.

ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about sensory processing with occupational therapist Laura Petix

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about getting your toddler to stop yelling when she is upset

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about whether some common parenting interventions might be making your child act more aggressively

WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:

Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!

In this episode, the creator of AEDP, Dr. Diana Fosha, psychotherapist Karen Pando-Mars, and I dive into the science of healing attachment wounds and exploring how AEDP can help people create healthier patterns.

Together we explore:

- What exactly is AEDP, directly from the creator of this therapy modality herself

- Unpacking how and why attachment "styles" aren't as fixed as we often think, and may not even be the most accurate way of thinking about attachment security...and what actually is!

- What the research reveals about repairing attachment ruptures and how to get through them in order to establish a secure attachment relationship.

- An exercise in reflective functioning and the types of things you can say to model and build this skill in your child.

- A trick for allowing yourself to stay in a feeling of discomfort or shame without immediately going straight to defensiveness.

- What people with different attachment styles need to start to move more toward secure attachment.

Tune in for a discussion that will shift your perspective on attachment, healing, and the power of connection.

SHOW NOTES:

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LEARN MORE ABOUT AEDP:

https://aedpinstitute.org/

ATTEND THEIR CONFERENCE:

https://aedpinstitute.org/aedp-conference-2025-in-it-together/

READ THEIR BOOK:

📚 Tailoring Treatment in Attachment Patterns: Healing Trauma in Relationships

CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:

🎧 Breaking the cycle of insecure attachment: How to support your child's secure attachment even if you didn't grow up with Dr. Miriam Steele

🎧 Codependency, insecure attachment, and relationship patterns: Creating stronger, healthier romantic partnerships with Alana Carvalho

🎧 The lifelong impact of early relationships: How secure attachment influences children's ability to make sense of their experiences and cope in the face of adversity with Dr. Alan Sroufe

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode Dr. Emily Upshur and I talk about...

- The science of why transitions are so hard for the ADHD brain - it's not just that you or your child are "difficult," it's actually the way a neurodiverse brain works.

- What type of executive functioning skills need more scaffolding for a person with ADHD (and the good news, that being intentional about strengthening them can be a real game changer!)

- Some of these underdeveloped skills can create a snowball effect. Learn exactly how you can identify and make changes to your child's day to improve these challenging patterns.

- A few real-life examples of how Dr. Emily breaks down tasks, like getting her son to soccer practice with all his gear or helping him study for a test, that makes it easier for him, her, and their whole family.

- Creating a systematic approach for lessening how much support you offer your child that is most likely to help them internalize these new skills and behaviors.

- A transition hack you can use that will make it easier to go from activity to activity.

REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES:

• The digital platform Dr. Emily uses with her own child: Quizlet

• Create a visual guide of your child's routine: Small Dry Erase Whiteboard,

• A visual timer you can use: 60-Minute Timer

👉🏻 Are you interested in exploring executive functioning supports? At Upshur Bren Psychology Group we offer a wide range of options, including in-person groups for kids who live locally and coaching virtual supports for those nationally. SCHEDULE A FREE CALL to learn more about the available resources for your unique needs.

ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about helping your child feel comfortable accepting ADHD School accommodations

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about making mindfulness more "user-friendly" for parents with ADHD with Dr. Lidia Zylowska

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about how to modify traditional sleep strategies for children with neurodiversity with Dr. Funke Afolabi-Brown

WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:

Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!

The way we parent isn't just shaped by psychology—it's deeply influenced by culture, shaping how our children experience love, discipline, and security in ways we may not even realize. Joining me to unpack this is clinical psychologist Dr. Miguelina German.

In this episode we explore:

- Two overarching parenting frameworks, Attachment Theory and Baumrind Parenting Practices, and how understanding the nuances of each can help us in our parenting approach.

- The importance of "warmth" in parenting and what the research reveals of the positive correlation between our child's perception of high warmth with positive outcomes.

- How generational trauma, values, and cultural norms can inform differences in parenting strategies and styles.

- The impact of being separated from a caregiver as a young child and the attachment rupture that can occur during critical developmental times.

- How to repair a relationship that has undergone an attachment rupture.

Parenting is not one-size-fits-all. By understanding the interplay between attachment, cultural influences, and parenting styles, we can create stronger, more secure connections with our children.

LEARN MORE ABOUT DR. MIGUELINA:

https://www.drmiguelinagerman.com/

ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES:

• Ghosts in the Nursery: A Psychoanalytic Approach to the Problems of Impaired Infant-Mother Relationships

• Angels in the nursery: The intergenerational transmission of benevolent parental influences

• Dr. Dan Siegel and Tina Payne Bryson - The 4 S's

CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:

🎧 Understanding parenting styles and the benefits of an authoritative approach

🎧 Breaking the cycle of insecure attachment: How to support your child's secure attachment even if you didn't grow up with Dr. Miriam Steele

🎧 Positive parenting isn't permissive parenting: How to integrate effective discipline that prioritizes emotional and and mental health with Sarah R. Moore

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about...

- When you notice unhealthy patterns in how you tend to show up in relationships or in past therapy, how you can communicate that to your new therapist to help treatment be more successful.

- If you're feeling overwhelmed by the idea of starting with a new therapist, we share a conversation starter that may make you feel more confident.

- Strategies for vetting potential therapists - both for professional expertise as well as goodness of fit.

- Red flags to be on the lookout for as you are deciding if a therapist is right for you.

- Why it can be helpful to have a basic understanding of the different types of evidence-based treatments and clinical interventions for complex trauma, or whatever mental health challenge you're struggling with.

- How to take into account the cultural, personal, and clinical sensitivities you may have when making your choice.

REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES:

👉🏻 Click here to lean more about support options at Upshur Bren Psychology Group and to schedule a free 30-minute consultation call to learn about the resources for your unique needs.

ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:

🎧 Using presence as the antidote to trauma: How we begin to break cycles with Dr. Jacob Ham

🎧 Simplifying the jargon associated with therapy: How to be an educated consumer of psychological interventions with Dr. Katie C. Lewis

🎧 Parenting after complex trauma: A mother's journey toward healing in parenthood with Stephanie Foo

WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:

Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!

What if small shifts in the way you parent could help prevent Imposter Syndrome in your child before it even starts? Dr. Lisa Orbé-Austin is joining me this week to help parents learn how to raise a child who trusts in their own abilities, values, and worth.

In this episode we explore:

- What imposter syndrome actually is (and what it isn't!) from a scientific and psychological perspective.

- Why it's common to see self-sabotaging behaviors in people who are experiencing Imposter Syndrome - and what you can do to help you or your kids combat this.

- The impact of rigid versus growth mindset on children as they develop and grow.

- Are certain attachment patterns more prone to Imposter Syndrome?

- The types of conversations you can have with your child, and even with other adults in front of your child, that will lay the groundwork for resilience.

- Why receiving a neurodiversity diagnosis can be empowering for kids and can help combat many associated challenges, Imposter Syndrome being one of them!

- What does it mean to hyper-regulate and how does our environment reinforce this behavior? Is it more common in men or women? With certain siblings? - We're unpacking it all!

If you're someone who's ever doubted their own success, or is noticing perfectionistic tendencies in your child, this episode is packed with eye-opening takeaways you won't want to miss!

LEARN MORE ABOUT DR. LISA:

https://www.dynamictransitionsllp.com/

READ DR. LISA'S BOOKS:

📚 Your Child's Greatness: A Parent's Guide to Raising Children without Impostor Syndrome

📚 Own Your Greatness: Overcome Impostor Syndrome, Beat Self-Doubt, and Succeed in Life

📚 Your Unstoppable Greatness: Break Free from Impostor Syndrome, Cultivate Your Agency, and Achieve Your Ultimate Career Goals

FOLLOW US ON SOCIAL:

📱 IG: @drorbeaustin and LinkedIn: Lisa Orbé-Austin, PhD

📱 IG: @drsarahbren

ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES:

👉🏻 If you're interested in exploring whether your child could benefit from a Neuropsychological Evaluation, CLICK HERE to learn about what we offer at Upshur Bren Psychology Group or SCHEDULE A FREE CALL to learn more about the available resources for your unique needs.

CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:

🎧 How can I parent my daughter so she doesn't become a people pleaser?

🎧 ADHD and attachment security: How to connect with and support your neurodiverse child with Dr. Norrine Russell

🎧 How do I help my child with ADHD utilize school support systems without feeling embarrassed or self-conscious?

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg and I talk about...

- What to do when your reassurances to your child doesn't help soothe their anxiety.

- A sample script of the type of thing you can say (and wait to try to avoid saying) to help your child believe that they can cope with the feeling of anxiety.

- When our good intentions go bad - some of the most common "mistakes" parents make when navigating their child's anxiety.

- Understanding the difference between temporarily soothing your child's fears and using a more effective long-term solution.

- Is it anxiety? The questions to ask yourself to help you determine if your child is experiencing anxiety beyond a normative level.

- How to tell your child you are going to start doing things differently when they start feeling anxious.

- Should you respond differently when your child's anxiety is fueled by something that is possible (like a medical misdiagnosis) rather than something we as adults know are impossible (like a monster under the bed)?

REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES:

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode with Eli Lebowitz about SPACE (Supportive Parenting for Anxious Childhood Emotions) that he developed

👉🏻 If you're interested in exploring SPACE and the treatment options for childhood anxiety, CLICK HERE to learn about the support options at Upshur Bren Psychology Group or SCHEDULE A FREE CALL to learn more about the available resources for your unique needs.

ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about managing your child's separation anxiety

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about that will help your determine when it's time to seek support managing your child's anxiety

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about school refusal with Dr. Erica Miller

WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:

Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!

In this episode, licensed marriage and family therapist Gayane Aramyan joins me to unpack the "perfect mom" pressure so many of us contend with on a daily basis.

In this episode we cover:

- Why our expectations of motherhood often don't match reality—and how to stop blaming ourselves when they don't.

- The hidden ways control fuels anxiety and overwhelm, and how loosening our grip can make parenting easier.

- The power of flexibility in parenting, and why giving yourself permission to adapt can be a game-changer.

- What to do when you reach a stage of your child's development that you simply don't enjoy.

- The key support systems to have in place before entering motherhood to make the transition smoother.

- The differences we're seeing with millennial mothers from what has been considered norms of the past.

- How to know when the mom-guilt you feel is getting in the way of your parenting and strategies for challenging it.

If you've ever felt like you're falling short of the motherhood ideal, this conversation is here to remind you: You don't have to be perfect—you just have to be you.

LEARN MORE ABOUT GAYANE:

https://www.therapywithgayane.com/

FOLLOW US ON INSTAGRAM:

📱@therapywithgayane

📱 @drsarahbren

CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:

🎧 Breaking the perfectionist mold: How embracing the messy middle is healthier for you and your kids with Monica Packer

🎧 Motherhood as a Millennial: Tuning out the noise and learning to find trust in ourselves with Marcella Kelson

🎧 Social anxiety in parenthood: Navigating play dates, mom-friends, and putting yourself out there with Justine Carino