Surviving BPD Relationship Breakups

BPD Awareness Can't Save Relationships

BPD awareness can't save relationships and doesn't mean changed behaviour (spelling Canadian now :) When a person with BPD has
intellectual awareness and can even talk about things at times, too many partners get fooled. Why fooled? Because too many people think that BPD awareness means "they get it" they can change. But emotionally, they don't get it. Whenever a person with BPD is triggered that awareness is lost and behaviour and lack of personal responsibility keep happening.

BPD awareness without therapy can't save relationships and doesn't translate into actual change or better relating or any increased understanding of how they effect others. Codependents often feel more fantasy false hope believing that what a person with BPD can say intellectually, between episodes means "hope" for change and the relationship - sadly, this is not true.

https://ajmahari.ca/sessions
https://survivingbpdrelationshipbreakup.com 

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BPD Stable Before Relationship Rupture? Was My Ex Like Sherri Papini?

A commenter asks how could my BPD Ex be fine in a relationship for 4 years and suddenly be so unstable? Is a person with BPD stable in a relationship until they aren't? A BPD Ex compares his ex to Sherri Papini - any similarity to a thought to be "stable" partner who then suddenly shows how unstable they are? Does the length of a relationship with someone BPD have anything to do with whether or not they have stability? People with BPD are not emotionally stable people.

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https://survivingbpdrelationshipbreakup.com

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Borderlines Are Not Relationship Worthy

Borderlines are not relationship worthy. They lack a self, have no object constancy and have relational and communication deficits. People with BPD feel very unworthy. They struggle without a known "self" to have any positive regard for "self" or "other". People with BPD often really don't like themselves and this is projected out on to anyone that gets close until a person with BPD can't cope with being close.

People with BPD need extensive therapy in a psychodynamic modality of treatment that takes years so that they can find the lost "self" and among other things, develop and nurture their own self-worth first
.
Codependents also struggle with their own self-worth and need to learn in their healing and recovery that they are worth more than settling for a one-sided 'situationship' with someone with BPD. You deserve to be consistently seen and heard!

https://ajmahari.ca/sessions 
https://survivingbpdrelationshipbreakup.com

This podcast is rated in the Top 100 Relationship Podcasts on feedspot.net - 100 Best Relationship Podcasts You Must Follow in 2025

BPD Breakup Ghost or Discard Is Not Your Fault

BPD breakup, ghosting, or discard is not your fault. People with suspected BPD, diagnosed BPD untreated (or not fully treated) can't stop the ghosting or discards and neither can you. People with BPD often feel out of control in relationships and people with Codependency try to help, rescue, fic and change them. They need years of therapy that they would fully engage in to ever be able to have a healthy, age-appropriate relationships with healthy communication. It takes years of therapy for people with BPD to unlearn maladaptive defenses - namely splitting and all-or-nothing thinking along with not taking everything personally and to build and create a container of self. No matter how many times you recycle as a Codependent with an untreated person with BPD nothing can change. Each relationship recycle you just experience more and more of the same.

https://ajmahari.ca/sessions 
https://survivingbpdrelationshipbreakup.com

This podcast is ranked in the Top 100 Relationships Podcasts on feedspot.com at:
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BPD Relationship Rollercoaster Causes Codependent Rumination Need For Closure
Blocking Recovery

BPD relationship rollercoaster causes Codependent rumination and need for closure to be so strong that this becomes a major block to breaking the fantasy bond with a Borderline Ex and people healing from the relationship and from Codependency. Each and every Borderline episode that leads to splitting to devaluation and blaming of a partner causes partners or loved ones in any relationship type to ruminate, and need closure, episode after episode through an entire relationship - not just after the breakup, ghosting, or BPD discard.

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Borderline Projection Through an Eternal Victim Lens


Borderline Projection onto friends, partners, Ex's, etc comes from his or her eternal victim lens and persona. The false self exists to protect the victimized borderline lose self. There is no excuse for BPD abuse because a high percentage of them were SA's in childhood, not given love, not taught any coping skills. These childhoods are often tragic. But, another core reality in Codependents trying to rescue, fix, and change the borderline to make a relationship work is that they are still emotionally young child-like victims of the lost self.

https://ajmahari.ca/sessions
https://survivingbpdrelationshipbreakup.com

This podcast is ranked in the Top 100 Relationships Podcasts on feedspot.com at:
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Two Codependents in Relationship After Previous Cluster B Relationships & Counter-Dependency

This is Epidsode 9 From my Codependency Surviving Cluster B Relationships Podcast

Can two people both be Codependent in a relationship years after each had a BPD or NPD relationship with an Ex? A commenter asked if two people can be Codependent in a relationship with each other and can both manifest codependency more as counter-dependency when each person in the relationship has had a previous Cluster B relationship?

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Borderline Mixed Signals & Codependent Fantasy Bond Cycles

Borderline’s mixed signals and Codependent fantasy bonds. Borderlines in relationships give endless mixed signals like telling you how much they love after traumatizing behaviour or while still ghosting you, or after having ghosted or even for years discarded you. Saying in Hoovers, they love you, they need to figure out how to let you go - end the relationship - but they don’t know how. Meanwhile you love them, you focus on them to the detriment of yourself as an Ex and Codependent. You need to let that BPD Ex go, but, you don't know how.

https://ajmahari.ca/sessions
https://survivingbpdrelationshipbreakup.com

This podcast is ranked in the Top 100 Relationships Podcasts on feedspot.com at:
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Borderlines Tattoos and Piercings - Why pw/BPD Get  More Than Average

Borderlines Tattoos and Piercings - why people with BPD get more tattoos and/or piercings than non-Borderlines. 

A commenter (on Youtube) asked if a woman has an excessive amount of tattoos, could this be a dating red flag that she has BPD. I answer this question about Borderlines and tattoos and explain why people with BPD do, in fact, have many more body modifications- tattoos and piercings than those without BPD and several key reasons why people with Borderline Personality get tattoos and piercings so often. In a high percentage of a study they found that 22.41% of people with BPD had tattoos over at least 10% of their bodies.

https://ajmahari.ca/sessions
https://survivingbpdrelationshipbreakup.com

This podcast is ranked in the Top 100 Relationships Podcasts on feedspot.com at:
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BPD Relationship Ruptures Are All Relationships Just Hard Work?


BPD relational ruptures and an answer to a Codependent commentor's question are BPD and all relationships just hard work wherein I explain the differences between BPD relationships and healthy relationships. I also answer the question, "How can you tell if it's the person with BPD or yourself as a Codependent?" In other words, is it my BPD partner and his or her BPD or is it me, the Codependent? Why do so many with Codependency believe that they are to blame for BPD relationship ruptures and BPD relationship impossibility? 

https://ajmahari.ca/sessions