Recontacting Your BPD Ex (Reverse Hoovering) Increases Your Suffering

Recontacting your BPD Ex is reverse hoovering and it increases Codependents suffering. Many people with Codependency are still in denial of the reverse hoovering responsibility that they have. No matter how the relationship "ended" or if it is on/off and/or being recycle, recontacting a borderline or still in communication increases the suffering of people with Codependency who have their own responsibility to not continue their part of the betrayal bonded relationship. You need to get into therapy to work toward going no contact so that you can heal.

https://ajmahari.ca/sessions

Borderlines Don't Value You in Dating or Relationships

Borderlines don't value you in dating or relationships because they are insatiable and have failed at "othering". People with BPD are very (lack of) self-focused and emotionally only aware of their feelings, wants that they mix up with needs. Borderlines don't value you because emotionally they are actually not relating to you, for who you really are.

https://ajmahari.ca/sessions

Loving a Borderline & Why You Will Never Know Who He or She Is or Was

Loving a borderline woman or man it is a high percentage of people in all relationship types who really will never know who that person with BPD in your life, or was in your life, is. Loving a borderline is loving someone you really don't know. It's loving someone for who you thought they were in the beginning and for who you still wish and/or have false hope for them to become.

Intermittent reinforcement (at the heart of these trauma bonded relationships) has actually psychologically captured you and you are losing yourself the more you keep trying to love a borderline and really can't know who they actually are because they don't know who they are.

https://ajmahari.ca/sessions

BPD Discard & Dangle Fantasy Facade At The End Like the Beginning

Many with BPD when they discard you with or without actually saying so dangle the fantasy facade at the end like they did in the beginning. They want you to believe they are going to be the person you thought they were in the beginning, at the end, as they monkey-branch or quickly go to the next person. This is (often unconscious) manipulation to leave you feeling in the "one-down" position as the Borderline now has the illusion of being in the "one-up" position. It's their fantasy of facade. They are not who they think they are. The grass will not be greener with the next person.

https://ajmahari.ca/sessions

BPD Breakup & Codependent Woundedness Vulnerability is a Strength After Healing

After a BPD Breakup, ghosting and/or discard getting into your own healing and recovery journey focusing on yourself - not the Borderline Ex - healing your Codependency and becoming a bounded, empowered, independent person means your vulnerability will be a strength, not a weakness.

In response to a comment on a shote I did about my empowered understanding of any vulnerability being a strength wherein I was talking about my medical weight challenges I talk in more depth about vulnerability as a strength and respond to a YouTube commenter who seems to be coming from a place of significant need to protect and believe that vulnerability is a weakness.

https://ajmahari.ca/sessions

Responding to Borderline Ex Only When Contacted or Hoovered is NOT No Contact

Are you an Ex of someone suspected of having BPD or someone you know has BPD? Whether you know the relationship is over or not are you trying to not initiate contact first? Are you a stance now of only responding to contact (hoovers) from your Ex and thinking that means you have gone *no contact*?

You are not in full no contact if your Ex with BPD can contact you in any way. You are not in full no contact if you have left even one avenue of contact open to be hoovered and then and only then you respond. What are you doing? Why?

https://ajmahari.ca/Sessions

BPD Deceptive Hoovers & BPD Ex's Self Deceptive Reverse Hoovers

BPD deceptive hoovers are what hoovers are, deceptive. BPD Ex's reverse hoovers are often self-deceptive. BPD hoovers or Ex's reverse hoovers only lead to more of the same - try again, nothing changes, no re-idealization or honeymoon phase and as the BPD betrayal bond cycles repeat over and over you keep end up being in that same stuck "want/need my BPD Ex back" agony. Time to get off the BPD relationship recycling rollercoaster and go no contact.

https://ajmahari.ca/Sessions

Riding the Chaotic Rollercoaster of a Borderline? Core Secret Understanding You Need To Know

If you are riding the chaotic rollercoaster of a Borderline, there is a secret understanding that you need to know. Many resist this understanding that is your own healthy way forward toward no contact and finding your own healing, closure and the reasons and lessons of what you have gone through and why you are finding it so incredibly difficult to break away from the BPD relationship chaotic rollercoaster of the impossibility unworkable and very unhealthy relationships.


https://ajmahari.ca/sessions

Definition and 5 Signs of a Trauma Bond with a Borderline or Narcissist

Definition and 5 Signs of a Trauma Bond with a Borderline or a Narcissist that every Codependent partner, on/off relationship recycling, or Ex of a person with BPD or NPD needs to know. People in relationships with a person with BPD or NPD are in trauma bonded relationships that are not healthy. People in these relationships do have Codependency, to one degree or another.Even those who experience counterdependency can often also be codependent as it's a spectrum. What you need to know about trauma bonds, trauma bonding, and the 5 tell-tale signs you are in a trauma bonded relationship with a Borderline or a Narcissist.

https://ajmahari.ca/sessions

The Borderline Set Up Hoover

The Borderline set up hoover is unlike any other type or generic "average" hoover.
The Borderline set up hoover is one that is your BPD Ex plotting to punish you
(especially the female borderline vs the male BPD Ex) by lying false accusations
to get you arrested and put in jail. This is as serious as your BPD Ex can ever
get. Not all with BPD will do this set up hoover but many more women with BPD are
doing it to male Ex's.

https://ajmahari.ca/sessions