Trauma Bonding With a Borderline - What Codependents Need To Know

Betrayal or trauma bonding with someone with Borderline Personality Disorder is how these relationships between Borderlines and Codependents dysfunction. It's why they are so painful. It's why they are so hard to end. It's why so many can't do anything but continue to pursue getting the BPD Ex back.

It's why they are relationship impossibility and partners or BPD Ex's (Codependents) lose themselves and get increasingly hurt and need to go no contact and get into their own healing and recovery processes to break these Trauma Bonds.

https://ajmahari.ca/sessions

BPD Idealization to Devaluation To Rumination & Ruination Get Off The BPD Rollercoaster

BPD idealization is the beginning of the intense fast-paced relationship and it is also
unconsciously for both the Borderline and the person dating or in love with this person,
the start of the ending of all you believe you have found and can continue to build on.

People in these relationships with (untreated) Borderlines go from idealization, shockingly,
to devaluation on to be ghosted, discarded, or you breakup with the Borderline and then
rumination is overwhelming and if not treated people with Codependency are the brink of
emotional and/or physical, and sometimes also, financial ruination. You need to get off the BPD rollercoaster before you really can't recognize or know yourself emotionally at all anymore.

Sessions with A.J. Mahari - https://ajmahari.ca/sessions

Borderline and Codependent Dance of Impossible Connection

Borderline and Codependent dance of impossible connection comes together from the wounded childhoods (to varying degrees) of both. People with BPD cannot connect from a lack of self. People with Codependency have learned to try to please and over-give to others to connect. It is the woundedness of each that creates the betrayal bonds - that is not just a one-way street like so many with Codependency believe.

https://ajmahari.ca/sessions

Borderlines Want What (Who) They Want - Get It (You) Then Don't Want It (You) Anymore
& Why this Is

Borderlines want what (who) they want until they get what the want (or you) then they don't want
what they wanted (you) anymore. This is about the lack of self in people with BPD and what they
are unconsciously (mainly) really seeking in attempts at relationships and with attempts to "love"
and be loved.

https://ajmahari.ca/sessions

BPD Idealization Devaluation Cycles - "Get-Away Closer" BPD Push/Pull

BPD idealization is not as real as BPD devaluation. Both result from the core relational impairment of
the Approach Avoidance Conflict in BPD - It's the push-pull "get-away closer" that cannot and will
not ever change until and unless each person with BPD has 8-16 years of successful treatment.

Without that treatment Borderlines have no hope of learning object constancy and object permanence. Borderline Approach/Avoid (push/pull) is the absence of object constancy. This relational deficit in people with BPD is at the very core of what makes relating to them impossible and oh, so, painful that you can lose yourself in the process.

Sessions with A.J. Mahari - https://ajmahari.ca/sessions

Can You Reach Out to a BPD Ex To Help Them In Repeated Failed Attempts To Have the Impossible Conversation?

In response to a comment left on my Youtube Channel, a video "5 Reasons For BPD Lying That Destroys Relationships - Is There Biology To BPD?" which is Season 4 Episode 91 in this podcast.

Do you still want to, or do you continue to try to reach back to a BPD Ex to "start a conversation" to help them? This commenter asks a question many can relate to "How can I help her?" I address this
comment and I hope people will consider my response.

https://ajmahari.ca/sessions

7 Signs Your Loved One Has Borderline Personality That You Experience

7 Signs that your love one, in any relationship type, has Borderline Personality. If you are or you have
experienced any of these signs you may well have a loved one with BPD. Are you new to learning about BPD? This video can also help people who "know" but keep questioning if their loved one, girlfriend, wife, boyfriend, husband has BPD because they are not diagnosed - You can stop doubting yourself by listening to this episode of this podcast.

https://ajmahari.ca - Sessions - Contact

5 Reasons For BPD Lying That Destroys Relationships - Is There Biology To BPD Lying?

5 reasons (Root Causes) that explains why people with BPD lie. People with Borderline Personality - BPD - lie pervasively and often for so many reasons. BPD lying destroys relationships because you can't trust someone who lies so often about so much. There is no room for you to maintain your sanity if you keep giving them some benefit of the doubt or think they just can't help it. Is BPD Lying grounded in and "Biology of BPD?"

https://ajmahari.ca - Sessions - Contact

Borderlines are Drowning Emotionally Go *No Contact* Don't Drown With The Relation - SHIP

Borderlines (untreated) are drowning emotionally go no contact don't drown with the Relationship. Borderline emotional dysregulation and the major defense mechanism of splitting leave many partners,

Ex's, On/Off again "partners" playing the role of a life preserver.If you approached a person actually drowning in a pool or lake who was panicked and freaking out they often pull rescuers under who then drown as well.

Sessions with A.J. Mahari - ajmahari.ca/sessions

Borderline Inward Focus Leaves You Out - 5 Reasons Why

The inward focus of people with Borderline Personality Disorder is at the heart of why you really cannot be connected to them and they don't ever truly connect fully or consistently to or with you.
The inward focus of people with BPD has 5 central core reasons that all end up blocking you out and making mutuality and/or reciprocity impossible which makes your relationship unhealthy and next to impossible, if not impossible. to have work, last, or function in any remotely healthy way at all.