The best way to empower young people is to give them tools to manage their own emotions says clinical psychologist Jacqui Maguire. She's written a children's book When the Wind Blew, which introduces a series of home-based, practical psychological tools designed to "turn down the dial on the fight or flight response".

Emotional self-regulation has been recognised by scientists and academics as the most important thing for a child to learn - but how do we teach it?

Clinical psychologist Jacqui Maguire has written a kids book When the Wind Blew with effective tools to help kids "turn down the dial on the fight-or-flight response".

Listen to Jacqui Maguire on Nine to Noon

Separation, relocation, a new school, Covid... any change can make a child feel a roller coaster of emotions running through their body.

In When the Wind Blew, a typical Kiwi girl named Orla - who shares a name with Jacqui's baby daughter - wakes up one day to a world turned inside out and upside down by 'the rona wind'.

"It's a story of how her parents teach her to control or calm the angry sparks that rush through her body the worried butterflies that sit in her tummy, the sad blue cloud that sits above her head. Through using her superpowers and working out that she does have an ability to dial those down, shows that with change we can learn to manage our emotions."

When the Wind Blew shows kids that when we are facing really tough times or change, it's normal to feel emotions like sadness and worry and anger, Jacqui says.

Framing the regulation of these emotions as a superpower makes it a 'cool' thing children can feel proud of knowing they can do for themselves.

Jacqui's wish is that every child could grow up believing they have the ability to get through whatever happens in their lives.

Overprotection can get in the way of this kind of confidence, she says.

"Sometimes as parents, we so don't want our children to be sad or upset or angry that we jump in and fix problems too fast for them. We dismiss emotions ... which comes from good intention but partly that message provides to a young person 'I don't think you can manage' or 'I need to manage for you'.

''I really believe we need to be empowering young people with the belief that they can manage and they can cope."

Practical tools for emotional regulation

Acknowledge the feelings

This decreases their intensity, Jacqui says.

Imagery that describes what's going on in their bodies can be very helpful for young people…

Go to this episode on rnz.co.nz for more details