The Anxious To Secure PODCAST

Attachment Style QUIZ –

Take the 3-min quiz to be 100% sure you're Anxiously Attached: 

https://themarriagecoach.outgrow.us/attachmentstyle3mquiz

Ever catch yourself panicking when someone pulls away… overthinking every text… or feeling like no matter how much love you get, it’s never enough?

If that sounds like you, this episode is MADE for you. We’re diving into attachment styles

secure, anxious, avoidant, and disorganized so you can finally understand why you feel the way you do in love. 

This isn’t about labels or “fixing yourself.” It’s about awareness, clarity, and seeing your patterns with curiosity. ✨

I’ll walk you through:

Bonus:

I share my personal story of realizing why I overthink, panic, and crave reassurance, and how that awareness changed everything in my relationships.

Grab your notes app 📝 or a piece of paper, and let’s get clarity on your love patterns—so you can start feeling safe, confident, and seen in love.

This quiz is your roadmap to understanding yourself, your nervous system, and your patterns in love.

🎧 Listen now and start seeing your relationships in a whole new way.

Grab more FREE resources:

ALL: https://linktr.ee/the.anxious.to.secure.coach

Like….

Anxious ArcheTYPE QUIZ – Discover which of the 4 archetypes you are and how you manage your stress and anxiety

✅ Anxious to Secure Checklist – Signs you're becoming securely attached

How to Stop OVERTHINKING🚫 🌀Your Relationship in 4 Steps (With Your Avoidant Partner)

Want more support?

➞ Monthly Text + Talk Support 📲 🖤

(daily coaching, check-ins + reassurance and becoming secure, text by text, commitment free support, cancel any month)

https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/textandtalk

➞ Monthly Coaching Calls 📞🖤

(2x calls a month or unlimited calls + text support to help you become secure)

https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/oneononecoachingsubscription

CHAPTERS:

00:00 Understanding Attachment Styles

Stop letting THEIR slow replies ruin YOUR day. Take back your calm in 21 Days or less because your anxiety is about YOU, not them.

ON SALE: the📱💬 TEXT ANXIETY Mini Course

https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/textanxiety

Gilmore Girls Attachment Style Breakdown  (Part 2): Rory & Her Relationships 

Welcome back to part two of the Gilmore Girls Attachment Style Breakdown! Today we’re diving deep into Rory’s world—her relationships, dating patterns, and why she’s attracted to certain types of people like Dean, Jess, Logan, and even Tristan.

If you haven’t watched part one yet,

I recommend starting there to understand the foundation of the characters’ attachment styles, including Lorelai, Luke, Christopher, Emily, and Richard

In this episode, we explore:

We also break down:

the real shift happens when you build security within yourself first.

When you stop chasing emotional red flags, you attract reliable, loving partners and create healthier dynamics in all areas of your life.

🎯 Free Resources & Quiz: 

: https://linktr.ee/the.anxious.to.secure.coach

Take the 3-min quiz to be 100% sure you're Anxiously Attached

https://themarriagecoach.outgrow.us/attachmentstyle3mquiz

💌 Ways to work with me 1:1 + Offers:

https://linktr.ee/the.anxious.to.secure.coach

Free Stop overthinking Mini-Mini Course:

https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/miniseriestostopoverthinking

📌 Don’t forget to comment below:

Thanks for watching and doing the work with me! Happy autumn and remember, change in your relationships starts with you—thought by thought, action by action.

Want more support?

➞ Monthly Text + Talk Support 📲 🖤

(daily coaching, check-ins + reassurance and becoming secure, text by text, commitment free support, cancel any month)

https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/textandtalk

CHAPTERS:

00:00 Intro to Gilmore Girls Attachments Styles

DISCLAIMER: I'm not a therapist or doctor. This content is for informational and entertainment purposes only. It's not intended to diagnose, treat, or heal any mental health conditions.

This is not meant for situations involving abusive relationships of any kind. Always seek professional advice for personal health concerns.

Remember: Change in your relationship starts with YOU, thought by thought and action by action.

✨ Are you rewatching Gilmore Girls (again 😅) and secretly analyzing every relationship? In this episode of the Anxious to Secure Podcast, I (Jula, relationship coach) break down the attachment styles of Lorelai, Luke, Christopher, and Emily through the lens of attachment theory.

You’ll hear:

If you’ve ever struggled with relationship anxiety, abandonment fears, or wondered why do I pull close, then push away?… you’ll see yourself in these characters. 

Grab a coffee, get cozy, and let’s watch Gilmore Girls with completely new eyes. 

Don’t forget to subscribe if you love relationship deep dives, attachment theory explained simply, and cozy podcast chats.

DISCLAIMER: I'm not a therapist or doctor. This content is for informational and entertainment purposes only. It's not intended to diagnose, treat, or heal any mental health conditions.

This is not meant for situations involving abusive relationships of any kind. Always seek professional advice for personal health concerns.

Remember: Change in your relationship starts with YOU, thought by thought and action by action.

Grab more FREE resources:

ALL: https://linktr.ee/the.anxious.to.secure.coach

Like….

Attachment Style QUIZ – Take the 3-min quiz to be 100% sure you're Anxiously Attached: 3 MIN QUIZ

Anxious ArcheTYPE QUIZ – Discover which of the 4 archetypes you are and how you manage your stress and anxiety

✅ Anxious to Secure Checklist – Signs you're becoming securely attached

How to Stop OVERTHINKING🚫 🌀Your Relationship in 4 Steps (With Your Avoidant Partner)

Want more support?

➞ Monthly Text + Talk Support 📲 🖤

(daily coaching, check-ins + reassurance and becoming secure, text by text, commitment free support, cancel any month)

https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/textandtalk

➞ Monthly Coaching Calls 📞🖤

(2x calls a month or unlimited calls + text support to help you become secure)

https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/oneononecoachingsubscription

➞ SHOP:

https://linktr.ee/the.anxious.to.secure.coach/shop

CHAPTERS:

00:00 Exploring Attachment Styles in Gilmore Girls

my personal deep dive into Netflix’s Unknown Number:

The High School Catfish. 🖤 I’ve been following the comments, the social media conversations, and the shock around Kendra Licari’s story — and I want to take this beyond what the documentary shows.

Netflix gave us the facts. But what about the IMPACT?

The emotional abuse. The grooming. The way a disorganized attachment style can trap someone in fear, shame, and confusion.

That’s the part that hit me hardest .. and that’s where my work as a relationship coach comes in. In this episode, I talk about the red flags most people miss, how parental manipulation destroys self-trust, and why trauma bonding makes it so hard to leave abusive dynamics.

I also share what actually helps: nervous system regulation, boundaries that protect your safety, and rebuilding secure attachment step by step. If you’ve seen the Unknown Number Netflix trailer, read The Cut article on Kendra Licari, or scrolled through the heated debates online — this episode is for you.

Because it’s not just about a documentary. It’s about real people, real trauma, and the reminder that healing and safety ARE possible.

Takeaways: What Netflix didn’t show about the Unknown Number documentary. The deeper emotional impact of grooming and manipulation. How disorganized attachment keeps people stuck in toxic cycles.

Why trauma bonding makes breaking away so complicated.

The role of parental control, secrecy, and narcissistic behaviors.

The importance of spotting red flags early. How daily regulation practices + professional support accelerate healing.

Why boundaries are the foundation of safety and recovery.

Why love doesn’t have to feel like chaos.

WORK WITH ME, COURSES + FREE RESOURCES: https://linktr.ee/the.anxious.to.secure.coach

Attachment Style QUIZ – Take the 3-min quiz to be 100% sure you're Anxiously Attached:

https://themarriagecoach.outgrow.us/attachmentstyle3mquiz

3 MIN QUIZ DISCLAIMER: I'm not a therapist or doctor.

This content is for informational and entertainment purposes only. It's not intended to diagnose, treat, or heal any mental health conditions.

This is not meant for situations involving abusive relationships of any kind. Always seek professional advice for personal health concerns.

Remember: Change in your relationship starts with YOU, thought by thought and action by action.

Grab the📱 ↘"He doesn't reply" Flow Chart (free):

https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/flow

It only takes eight seconds… or does it? ⏰ 

Remember scrolling Instagram, seeing that reel, and thinking,

“Why isn’t he replying? It’s just eight seconds!”

That’s exactly how anxious attachment tricks us making us chase validation, obsess over texts, and feel like every delayed reply is rejection.

In this episode, I unpack why this “eight-second trap” fuels anxiety, overthinking, and the addictive chase cycle. I share why your emotional safety doesn’t depend on anyone else, how to stop texting obsessively, and the step-by-step tools I use (and teach clients) to calm your brain and feel secure on your own.

We talk real examples: heart racing when they’re “typing,” overanalyzing likes, messages, and stories, and feeling too much in love or friendship.

I also share practical actions—from journaling out your thoughts, setting boundaries for yourself, spotting patterns without personalizing, and walking away from crumbs—to reclaim your peace and confidence.

If you’ve ever felt anxious waiting for a text, overanalyzed replies, or let someone else control your emotions, this episode is your guide to healing your anxious attachment, trusting yourself, and stopping the chase.

ON SALE (27 euros only)

Stop obsessing over Text in 21 days or less - Course:

https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/textanxiety

CHAPTERS:

00:00 The Eight Second Dilemma

Want more support?

➞ Monthly Text + Talk Support 📲 🖤

(daily coaching, check-ins + reassurance and becoming secure, text by text, commitment free support, cancel any month)

https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/textandtalk

➞ Monthly Coaching Calls 📞🖤

(2x calls a month or unlimited calls + text support to help you become secure)

https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/oneononecoachingsubscription

➞ SHOP + FREE RESOURCES

https://linktr.ee/the.anxious.to.secure.coach/shop

Attachment Style QUIZ – Take the 3-min quiz to be 100% sure you're Anxiously Attached: 3 MIN QUIZ

How to Stop OVERTHINKING🚫 🌀Your Relationship in 4 Steps (With Your Avoidant Partner)

🕊️📱 ↘"He doesn't reply" Flow Chart (free):

https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/flow

DISCLAIMER: I'm not a therapist or doctor. This content is for informational and entertainment purposes only. It's not intended to diagnose, treat, or heal any mental health conditions.

This is not meant for situations involving abusive relationships of any kind. Always seek professional advice for personal health concerns.

Remember: Change in your relationship starts with YOU, thought by thought and action by action.

Remember those red flats from my 20s (that probably STILL get overthought if not addressed…)?

The ones I wore on a first date, nervously texting back and overthinking every move?

That was me before I started healing my anxious attachment. In this episode, I share 5 things I would NEVER do again as my securely attached self and the lessons that came from years of dating, heartbreak, and self-discovery.

I dive into letting go of people-pleasing, chasing connection, and believing every anxious thought meant danger, and what I do now instead to show up confidently in love, friendships, and even with family. 

If you’ve struggled with anxious attachment, overthinking texts, or feeling “too much” in relationships, this episode is your guide to showing up securely, honoring your needs, and trusting yourself in love.

CHAPTERS:

00:00 Intro

Want more support?

➞ Monthly Text + Talk Support 📲 🖤

(daily coaching, check-ins + reassurance and becoming secure, text by text, commitment free support, cancel any month)

https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/textandtalk

➞ Monthly Coaching Calls 📞🖤

(2x calls a month or unlimited calls + text support to help you become secure)

https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/oneononecoachingsubscription

➞ SHOP + FREE RESOURCES

https://linktr.ee/the.anxious.to.secure.coach/shop

Attachment Style QUIZ – Take the 3-min quiz to be 100% sure you're Anxiously Attached: 3 MIN QUIZ

How to Stop OVERTHINKING🚫 🌀Your Relationship in 4 Steps (With Your Avoidant Partner)

DISCLAIMER: I'm not a therapist or doctor. This content is for informational and entertainment purposes only. It's not intended to diagnose, treat, or heal any mental health conditions.

This is not meant for situations involving abusive relationships of any kind. Always seek professional advice for personal health concerns.

Remember: Change in your relationship starts with YOU, thought by thought and action by action.

LISTEN BEFORE BED to Rewire your Mind in your sleep :) Struggling with relationship anxiety or anxious attachment? This gentle guided visualization helps you feel SECURE, grounded, and calm in your relationships. I’m Jula, your anxious-to-secure attachment coach, and I’ll guide you to slowly release old patterns and step into the confident, playful version of YOU.

Listen when your mind is most open, before sleep, first thing in the morning, or after meditation or breathwork..when your brain is in a theta state and hyper-suggestible. 🌻💛 By rehearsing calm, secure moments in your mind’s eye, you can literally rewire your thoughts and body to feel safe, worthy, and steady.

Imagine waking lighter, noticing small joys, and feeling your worth untouchable..without needing anyone else’s approval. This practice helps you pause, release tension, and trust yourself, even when others are distant or plans change. 🪞✨ Drift into calm, connect with your inner strength, and attract relationships that match your authentic, secure energy.

Safe space only. Not a replacement for therapy. Your journey from anxious to secure starts here..thought by thought, image by image.

CHAPTERS:

00:00 Introduction to Future VISUALISATION for Relationship Anxiety

Want more support?

➞ Monthly Text + Talk Support 📲 🖤

(daily coaching, check-ins + reassurance and becoming secure, text by text, commitment free support, cancel any month)

https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/textandtalk

➞ Monthly Coaching Calls 📞🖤

(2x calls a month or unlimited calls + text support to help you become secure)

https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/oneononecoachingsubscription

➞ SHOP:

https://linktr.ee/the.anxious.to.secure.coach/shop

COURSES 👩🏻‍💻📓✍🏻(for little money)

➞ How to Stop Overthinking Your Relationship with Your Avoidant Attached Partner in 4 Steps

https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/overthinkingcourse

➞ How to Stop OBSESSING over your text in 21 days or less (did they reply? why haven’t they texted yet? what did they mean only texted a thumbs up?)

https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/textanxiety

Grab more FREE resources:

ALL: https://linktr.ee/the.anxious.to.secure.coach

Like….

Attachment Style QUIZ – Take the 3-min quiz to be 100% sure you're Anxiously Attached: 3 MIN QUIZ

Anxious ArcheTYPE QUIZ – Discover which of the 4 archetypes you are and how you manage your stress and anxiety

✅ Anxious to Secure Checklist – Signs you're becoming securely attached

How to Stop OVERTHINKING🚫 🌀Your Relationship in 4 Steps (With Your Avoidant Partner)

DISCLAIMER: I'm not a therapist or doctor. This content is for informational and entertainment purposes only. It's not intended to diagnose, treat, or heal any mental health conditions.

This is not meant for situations involving abusive relationships of any kind. Always seek professional advice for personal health concerns.

Remember: Change in your relationship starts with YOU, thought by thought and action by action.

Feeling anxious, overthinking, or unsure in your relationships?

Thinking won’t help: action is the solution.

This guided visualization and embodiment practice is designed to help you retrain your mind and body to create security from within. I’m Jula, your anxious-to-secure attachment coach, and I’ll guide you step by step to reconnect with the calm, confident, and grounded version of YOU that’s always been there beneath the anxiety, doubt, and fear.

This practice is all about identity shifts. Over time, we can lose touch with the steady, secure self we were born with. Childhood patterns, fears of rejection, and old survival strategies can make us overgive, overthink, or feel insecure. Through this session, you’ll gently explore new ways of showing up—moving from anxious to calm, from overthinking to present, from insecure to confident, from overgiving to setting boundaries, from loneliness to connection, and from doubt to worthiness. Each shift is anchored in your body, mind, and imagination so it becomes a natural part of you. 🌻✨

Here’s why it’s so powerful: your brain learns best through imagery, rehearsal, and embodiment. By seeing yourself handle triggers differently, linking new movements to each shift, and feeling the emotions in your body, you train both mind and body to respond securely in real-life situations. This is how I personally rewired my anxious attachment, stepping into a secure, confident self that I already had inside me, beneath all the old patterns. 🧠💛

The session follows a simple, transformative three-step process:

Step 1: Choose your shifts. Focus on no more than three identity shifts at a time- like moving from anxious to calm, overthinking to present, or insecure to confident. These are the core areas you want to embody more in your life.

Step 2: Anchor each shift with a movement or gesture. Simple body practices like lifting your chest, grounding your feet, placing a hand on your heart, or striking a power pose help your mind and body remember the new way of being. Linking a shift to a role model or metaphor..like a calm lake, a strong mountain, or a shining star..amplifies the effect.

Step 3: Visualize and rehearse daily. Imagine handling old triggers in your day-to-day life as this new version of yourself. Each time you practice, even 1%, you become more aligned with your secure self. Over time, these shifts become second nature, and your anxious patterns naturally soften.

This practice works best when your mind is open and suggestible - before sleep, first thing in the morning, or after meditation or breathwork, when your brain is in a theta state. By visualizing, embodying, and rehearsing calm, confident, and grounded responses, you can literally rewire your brain and nervous system, creating security from the inside out. 🌤🖤

Throughout the session, you’ll also journal and reflect on the parts of yourself you want to release, and notice how each shift feels in your body. Over time, these small, consistent practices build real confidence, self-trust, and inner calm. You’ll stop reacting from fear and start living from love, naturally attracting healthier, steady, and mutual relationships.

💭 Remember: this is a safe, guided practice. Not a replacement for therapy. Make sure you’re in a comfortable space, sitting or lying down, and give yourself permission to pause, explore, and embody these shifts fully. Step into the secure, grounded, confident version of yourself, little by little, day by day.

You’ve already had this secure self inside you all along. This practice helps you remember, embody, and strengthen it, even in moments that used to trigger anxiety or self-doubt. Take a deep breath, feel your energy settle, and step into the calm, playful, confident YOU.

You can download this practice to get back to it anytime xx Jula

Want more support?

➞ Monthly Text + Talk Support 📲 🖤

(daily coaching, check-ins + reassurance and becoming secure, text by text, commitment free support, cancel any month)

https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/textandtalk

➞ Monthly Coaching Calls 📞🖤

(2x calls a month or Unlimited calls + text support to help you become secure and get support through anxious moments in your relationship or dating life)

https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/oneononecoachingsubscription

➞ SHOP: 🛒🛍️✨

https://linktr.ee/the.anxious.to.secure.coach/shop

COURSES 👩🏻‍💻📓✍🏻 (for little money but BIG transformations)

➞ How to Stop Overthinking Your Relationship with Your Avoidant Attached Partner in 4 Steps

https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/overthinkingcourse

➞ How to Stop OBSESSING over your text in 21 days or less (did they reply? why haven’t they texted yet? what did they mean only texted a thumbs up?)

https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/textanxiety

Grab more 30+ FREE resources:

ALL: https://linktr.ee/the.anxious.to.secure.coach

Like….

Attachment Style QUIZ – Take the 3-min quiz to be 100% sure you're Anxiously Attached: 3 MIN QUIZ

Anxious ArcheTYPE QUIZ – Discover which of the 4 archetypes you are and how you manage your stress and anxiety

✅ Anxious to Secure Checklist – Signs you're becoming securely attached

How to Stop OVERTHINKING🚫 🌀Your Relationship in 4 Steps (With Your Avoidant Partner)

DISCLAIMER: I'm not a therapist or doctor. This content is for informational and entertainment purposes only. It's not intended to diagnose, treat, or heal any mental health conditions.

This is not meant for situations involving abusive relationships of any kind. Always seek professional advice for personal health concerns.

Ever catch yourself thinking…

You’re not “too much.” You’re not dramatic.

In this episode, I’ll walk you through the 5 most common cognitive distortions that mess with your brain and your heart when you’re dating or in a relationship.. especially if you feel hyper-aware, sensitive, or constantly looking for signs something’s wrong.

We’ll explore:

These mental habits can make you feel like you’re always on edge… reading between the lines… overthinking texts… bracing for the moment they leave 

But once you see these patterns...you can start challenging them 

This is how you rewire anxious attachment from the inside out.

Which one of these distortions hits hardest for you?

CHAPTERS:

00:00 Understanding Cognitive Distortions in Your Relationship

Want more support?

➞ Monthly Text + Talk Support 📲 🖤

(daily coaching, check-ins + reassurance and becoming secure, text by text, commitment free support, cancel any month)

https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/textandtalk

➞ Monthly Coaching Calls 📞🖤

(2x calls a month or unlimited calls + text support to help you become secure)

https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/oneononecoachingsubscription

➞ SHOP:

https://linktr.ee/the.anxious.to.secure.coach/shop

COURSES 👩🏻‍💻📓✍🏻(for little money)

➞ How to Stop Overthinking Your Relationship with Your Avoidant Attached Partner in 4 Steps

https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/overthinkingcourse

➞ How to Stop OBSESSING over your text in 21 days or less (did they reply? why haven’t they texted yet? what did they mean only texted a thumbs up?)

https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/textanxiety

Grab more FREE resources:

ALL: https://linktr.ee/the.anxious.to.secure.coach

Like….

Attachment Style QUIZ – Take the 3-min quiz to be 100% sure you're Anxiously Attached: 3 MIN QUIZ

Anxious ArcheTYPE QUIZ – Discover which of the 4 archetypes you are and how you manage your stress and anxiety

✅ Anxious to Secure Checklist – Signs you're becoming securely attached

How to Stop OVERTHINKING🚫 🌀Your Relationship in 4 Steps (With Your Avoidant Partner)

DISCLAIMER: I'm not a therapist or doctor. This content is for informational and entertainment purposes only. It's not intended to diagnose, treat, or heal any mental health conditions.

This is not meant for situations involving abusive relationships of any kind. Always seek professional advice for personal health concerns.

Remember: Change in your relationship starts with YOU, thought by thought and action by action.

This episode is for you if you’re in the breakup loops and trying to heal and move through it.

When you have anxious attachment, a breakup doesn’t feel like “losing a relationship.”

In this episode, I’ll walk you through the 5 stages of healing after a breakup for the anxious type 

We’ll start with the protest phase.. where you might beg, bargain, chase, or act like “you’re fine” when you’re actually falling apart.

Then comes obsession + craving: where your nervous system feels addicted, and you can’t stop analyzing or fantasizing.

And finally: the rewiring phase where you stop chasing a person and start repairing your inner safety.

I’ll also show you where you might be getting stuck  like looping in the fantasy, hoping they’ll come back and finally give you what they never did.

This isn’t about pretending you're over it.

You don’t need to be perfect to heal.

 Listen now & start breaking the cycle to rewire and heal from a breakup.

Or watch on youtube and leave me comments, I love to be there for you xx

CHAPTERS:

00:00 Understanding Breakup Healing and Anxious Attachment

Want more support?

➞ Monthly Text + Talk Support 📲 🖤

(daily coaching, check-ins + reassurance and becoming secure, text by text, commitment free support, cancel any month)

https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/textandtalk

➞ Monthly Coaching Calls 📞🖤

(2x calls a month or unlimited calls + text support to help you become secure)

https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/oneononecoachingsubscription

➞ SHOP:

https://linktr.ee/the.anxious.to.secure.coach/shop

COURSES 👩🏻‍💻📓✍🏻(for little money)

➞ How to Stop Overthinking Your Relationship with Your Avoidant Attached Partner in 4 Steps

https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/overthinkingcourse

➞ How to Stop OBSESSING over your text in 21 days or less (did they reply? why haven’t they texted yet? what did they mean only texted a thumbs up?)

https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/textanxiety

Grab more FREE resources:

ALL: https://linktr.ee/the.anxious.to.secure.coach

Like….

Attachment Style QUIZ – Take the 3-min quiz to be 100% sure you're Anxiously Attached: 3 MIN QUIZ

Anxious ArcheTYPE QUIZ – Discover which of the 4 archetypes you are and how you manage your stress and anxiety

✅ Anxious to Secure Checklist – Signs you're becoming securely attached

How to Stop OVERTHINKING🚫 🌀Your Relationship in 4 Steps (With Your Avoidant Partner)

DISCLAIMER: I'm not a therapist or doctor. This content is for informational and entertainment purposes only. It's not intended to diagnose, treat, or heal any mental health conditions.

This is not meant for situations involving abusive relationships of any kind. Always seek professional advice for personal health concerns.

Remember: Change in your relationship starts with YOU, thought by thought and action by action.