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By The Art of Charm
4.7
1046510,465 ratings
The podcast currently has 1,558 episodes available.
The most played episodes among Podcast App listeners.

Your emotions don’t just change how you feel—they can change what you remember, how you judge other people, and even who you become in the moment. AJ sits down with behavioral economist George Loewenstein to explore the “empathy gap”: our surprising inability to predict how we’ll think and behave when our emotional state changes. George explains why anger can distort judgment, rejection sensitivity becomes self-fulfilling, negative experiences outweigh positive ones, and the happiness we chase often disappears faster than we expect. You’ll learn why high performers can still choke under pressure, why venting anger often makes it worse, how emotions influence self-esteem and relationships, and why you should never respond immediately to an email that makes you furious. This conversation offers a fascinating look at the hidden forces shaping our decisions—and why understanding our emotions doesn’t always mean we can control them. Episode Resources: https://www.amazon.com/Opposite-Happiness-Feelings-Make-Break/dp/0063427060/ref=tmm_hrd_swatch_0 A Word From Our Sponsors Get $250 off select AirDoctor air purifiers by using promo code CHARM at AirDoctorPro.com. Shopify is where you go to start your business, and everything you need to sell is already there from day one. Start your free trial by going to SHOPIFY.COM/charm Connect with top talent ready to help your business grow by going to UPWORK.COM. This year, skip breaking a sweat AND breaking the bank. Get your summer savings and shop premium wireless plans at mintmobile.com/charm Chapters 00:00 – The empathy gap: why we misjudge our own emotions 08:00 – How your mood changes the way you read other people 17:15 – Why one negative moment outweighs all the good 24:20 – Why empathy may not work the way we think 31:00 – Why we can’t predict ourselves under pressure 39:05 – How emotions distort moral judgment 45:00 – Why high performers still choke under pressure 51:10 – Why venting anger can make it worse 57:30 – Never respond to an angry email immediately 01:03:00 – Negative emotions, self-compassion, and being human Keywords emotional intelligence, emotions, empathy gap, psychology, behavioral economics, emotional regulation, anger, self awareness, happiness, negative emotions, self esteem, rejection sensitivity, decision making, cognitive bias, stress, performance under pressure, relationships, emotional health, self compassion, human behavior Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Most people think making a great impression is about saying the right thing. It isn’t. AJ and Johnny break down the science of "vibing"—the overlooked social skill that builds trust, creates opportunities, and makes people genuinely enjoy being around you. From first dates and networking to interviews and business meetings, they explain why shared emotions matter more than shared interests, how to ask questions that deepen connection, and the simple conversation framework that turns awkward interactions into memorable ones. Chapters 00:00 – Why social intelligence beats technical skill 03:00 – The real purpose of "vibing" with people 06:00 – Research, seating, and setting yourself up for connection 09:00 – Open-ended questions that build instant rapport 13:00 – Shared emotions vs. shared interests 16:00 – Telling your story without sounding self-promotional 19:00 – Handling reserved people and larger groups 21:00 – Practicing connection before high-stakes conversations Episode Resources: theartofcharm.com/test Unlockyourxfactor.com social intelligence, communication skills, networking, relationship building, conversation skills, emotional intelligence, rapport, first impressions, executive presence, career growth, confidence, storytelling, networking tips, influence, social skills, interpersonal communication, charisma, leadership communication, professional relationships, human connection Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Silence is where negotiators accidentally give away money. AJ and Johnny break down why the hardest part of a negotiation often isn’t knowing what to ask for—it’s resisting the urge to speak when the other person goes quiet. That uncomfortable pause can make you lower your number, over-explain your position, or negotiate against yourself before the other side has said anything at all. You’ll learn how to anchor confidently, hold eye contact, count through seven seconds of silence, and respond without immediately defending or discounting your ask. Whether you’re negotiating salary, contract terms, or a major purchase, this episode shows how staying calm and quiet can shift the pressure back across the table. Episode Resources: https://elitehumandynamics.com/theos?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=show-notes&utm_campaign=sib-episode-frame-5 Chapters 00:00 – The two words that cost you leverage 01:00 – Why silence makes people fold 02:30 – The cheapest move in negotiation 03:20 – How anchoring shapes the entire conversation 04:20 – Say your number without apologizing 06:10 – Know your number before you walk in 07:10 – The seven-second silence method 08:00 – What your body should communicate 09:20 – What to say when they finally break 10:35 – Salary negotiation example 14:20 – How to challenge “standard terms” 16:20 – What to do if seven seconds isn’t enough 18:30 – Trading instead of conceding 19:00 – Your silence challenge for the week A Word From Our Sponsors Get $250 off select AirDoctor air purifiers by using promo code CHARM at AirDoctorPro.com. Shopify is where you go to start your business, and everything you need to sell is already there from day one. Start your free trial by going to SHOPIFY.COM/charm Connect with top talent ready to help your business grow by going to UPWORK.COM. negotiation skills, salary negotiation, communication skills, silence in negotiation, anchoring, confidence, executive presence, persuasion, contract negotiation, career growth, workplace communication, assertiveness, negotiation tactics, body language, influence, compensation, business communication, difficult conversations, professional development, leverage Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

You think you know why you make the choices you make. Your unconscious mind may have gotten there first. AJ and Johnny sit down with psychologist Glenn to explore the hidden forces behind temptation, habits, infidelity, and self-control. Glenn explains why willpower often fails when we repeatedly face powerful urges, how unconscious processes can drive behavior without consulting our values, and why we’re surprisingly good at inventing explanations for decisions after we’ve already made them. You’ll learn why changing your environment can be more effective than relying on self-control, how past experiences shape what feels rewarding, why rationalization often happens outside our awareness, and how love, attachment, and sexual desire can operate as separate systems. The conversation also explores what causes infidelity, why people can betray partners they genuinely love, and what rebuilding trust can look like afterward. Episode Resources: https://glennhutchinson.net/my-book/ A Word From Our Sponsors Get $250 off select AirDoctor air purifiers by using promo code CHARM at AirDoctorPro.com. Shopify is where you go to start your business, and everything you need to sell is already there from day one. Start your free trial by going to SHOPIFY.COM/charm Connect with top talent ready to help your business grow by going to UPWORK.COM. This year, skip breaking a sweat AND breaking the bank. Get your summer savings and shop premium wireless plans at mintmobile.com/charm Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Most people think finding the right community will make them happier. It won’t—if you lose yourself in the process. AJ sits down with author Luke Burgis to explore why so many people unknowingly adopt the desires, beliefs, and goals of the people around them. From social media and AI to family dynamics, identity, and the pressure to fit in, Luke explains how our need to belong can quietly override our authentic selves. This conversation explores why we copy other people's ambitions, how technology amplifies that tendency, and what it takes to build a solid sense of self without sacrificing meaningful relationships. Chapters 00:00 – Why we lose ourselves trying to belong 08:00 – Finding your tribe without losing your identity 16:00 – AI, social media, and borrowed beliefs 24:00 – The difference between a pseudo self and a solid self 33:00 – Why smart people still copy other people's desires 42:00 – Conflict, authenticity, and healthy relationships 51:00 – Building confidence through real-world conversations 59:00 – Practical steps to strengthen your sense of self Episode resources: https://join.theartofcharm.com/xfa https://lukeburgis.com/ https://www.amazon.com/One-Ninety-Nine-Forging-Identity-Contagion/dp/1250373034/ Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on LinkedIn Johnny on LinkedIn AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube The Art of Charm on TikTok identity, self awareness, psychology, belonging, confidence, social intelligence, personal growth, AI, social media, relationships, authenticity, emotional intelligence, family dynamics, human behavior, mimetic desire, communication skills, self confidence, mental health, critical thinking, purpose Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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