The Aware Parenting Podcast

Trauma and Parenting

In this week's episode we talk about parenting when we are carrying our own trauma and how we can navigate raising our children.

[1.50] Trauma doesn’t have to be a big event, it can be many unmet feelings

[4:25] The invitation to explore feelings and trauma

[6.45] What trauma can look like in parenting

[9.50] Sadness and trauma and thinking clearly

[12.55] Mindfulness and present awareness to identify our own story

[16.05] Owning our feelings to our children and ourselves

[18.45] Compassion instead of judgment

[22.00] Treating our own inner child harshly

[23.50] Tools to help ourselves heal from trauma

[28.00] Trauma manifesting as fear

[32.00] Healing looks different for everyone

[34.00] What we are thinking, needing and feeling

[37.50] Repairing with our children when there is disconnection

[39.00] Generational trauma and what we pass on

[42.45] As we express, we allow growth

[45.00] Noticing our words and what activates us

[48.15] Looking forward to what is possible

This week’s invitation:

1. Be curious as to where trauma turns up for you in parenting. What would it look like to lean into further?

2. What is happening for you and your child that reflects trauma and do you want to explore what it reminds you of?

Resources:

Alice Miller - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alice_Miller_(psychologist)

Marion's courses - http://www.marionrose.net/which-course-is-for-you/

Peter Levine - https://traumahealing.org/about-us/

Somatic Experiencing - http://www.seaustralia.com.au/what-is-somatic-experiencing/

 

As always, you can head over to the Aware Parenting Podcast Facebook group and join in the discussion, or you’ll find us on Instagram @theawareparentingpodcast 

You can find Marion at marionrose.net and Lael at laelstone.com.au

And if you haven’t already, make sure you subscribe to the podcast so we can pop into your podcast feed.

Sending you much love, compassion, and grace in your parenting journey.

x

Lael and Marion

Trauma and Children

In this week's episode we talk about helping our children navigate and heal from Trauma.

[2.11] We all have degrees of trauma or hurt feelings being human.

[3:25] Birth and Trauma and what we perceive.

[5.56] The spectrum of feelings and our ability to heal.

[8.00] Babies in Utero absorbing feelings and how they can heal.

[13.00] Co-regulation and healing with children.

[15.30] Being with our own feelings to hold others.

[20.00] Our reactions when our own trauma or feelings arise

[23.00] Monitoring our babies feelings

[26.00] Bodywork and extra support for babies and children

[28.30] Resources to work with trauma in the body

[32.00] Traumas will often show up when a similar situation arises

[37.50] Creating a space for our children to move trauma

[41.00] Letting the body shake and do what it needs

[43.00] Dental Trauma

[47.00] Bringing attention to an incident in the moment

[48.00] Trusting timing with trauma and safety

[51.40] Feeling resourced to listen and healing is always possible

[53.06] Our mechanisms to cope when we can’t release Trauma

This week’s invitation:

1. Bring some compassion to yourself, hand on your head or heart and take a breathe and check in.

2. What happened for you when there was a trauma, what did you need that you didn’t get and has that repeated in your life.

Resources:

Aletha Solter - The Aware Baby

Aletha Solter - Tears and Tantrums

Marions courses - http://www.marionrose.net/which-course-is-for-you/

In Utero Film https://www.inuterofilm.com/

The body keeps the score - Bessel Van der Kolk https://www.audible.com.au/pd/The-Body-Keeps-the-Score-Audiobook/0141992646?

Polyvagal theory - https://www.stephenporges.com/

Peter Levine - https://traumahealing.org/about-us/

 

As always, you can head over to the Aware Parenting Podcast Facebook group and join in the discussion, or you’ll find us on Instagram @theawareparentingpodcast 

You can find Marion at marionrose.net and Lael at laelstone.com.au

And if you haven’t already, make sure you subscribe to the podcast so we can pop into your podcast feed.

Sending you much love, compassion and grace in your parenting journey.

x

Lael and Marion

"Go Away" - what we can do when your child yells at you or tells you to leave.

In this week's episode we talk about what we can do when our child yells at us or tells us to leave. How can we handle these situations with respect and connection?

[1.20] Navigating boundaries and limits and helping with feelings

[2:15] What did it feel like for you?

[4.50] Why children yell, "go away" and resist feelings

[8.25] The power of teaching our children to experience feelings and let them go

[10.45] The crying dance

[14.00] Loving limits when children are upset

[17.00] Balance of Attention and how to create safety

[21.00] Honouring space and quiet when your child asks

[24.20] The development of feelings

[29.30] "I hate you" and aggressive words

[32.50] Boundaries and Consent without touching

This week’s invitation:

1. What words and actions would you have loved from your parents when you were upset or told them to "go away"?

2. Observe what it feels like for you as the parent when they say, "Go away" and be curious as to what happens when you lean in closer.

Resources:

Aletha Solter - Cooperative and Connected and Tears and Tantrums

Marion's courses - http://www.marionrose.net/which-course-is-for-you/

 

As always, you can head over to the Aware Parenting Podcast Facebook group and join in the discussion, or you’ll find us on Instagram @theawareparentingpodcast 

You can find Marion at marionrose.net and Lael at laelstone.com.au

And if you haven’t already, make sure you subscribe to the podcast so we can pop into your podcast feed.

Sending you much love, compassion and grace in your parenting journey.

x

Lael and Marion

In this week's episode, we talk about Behaviour and Feelings and the three different reasons that draw people to Aware Parenting. One of those three reasons is due to behaviour. Aware Parenting looks at what a child's behaviour is telling us. When we respond with compassion, listening and understanding, we can observe very clear differences in their behaviour.

[1.45] What drew us to Aware Parenting

[8:45] The third reason families are drawn to Aware Parenting

[11.30] How helping our children allows healing with ourselves

[16.50] How doing our own work can shift a child’s behaviour

[19.30] Shifting your lineage and imprints on parenting

[23.00] Fundamental shifts in culture and upbringings

[25.00] Challenging our core beliefs through behaviour

[26.20] The inner work and the outer work

[28.50] There is no perfect parent or child

[30.10] Conscious children processing adversity

[34.45] Repairing relationships as adults and with our children

[37.00] External behaviour is a reflection of the Internal state

[40.30] How listening to feelings helps on all levels

[43.20] Cooperation comes from connection

[47.30] Moving from challenges to ease

[51.10.] Meeting our own needs

This week’s invitation:

1. Connect in with the 3 things we offered (long term emotional wellbeing, trauma or behaviour) - which has drawn you to Aware Parenting?

2. Be curious around behaviour and feelings. What do you think is going on?

Resources:

Aletha Solter's Books - Cooperative and Connected and Tears and Tantrums

 

As always, you can head over to the Aware Parenting Podcast Facebook group and join in the discussion, or you’ll find us on Instagram @theawareparentingpodcast 

You can find Marion at marionrose.net and Lael at laelstone.com.au

And if you haven’t already, make sure you subscribe to the podcast so we can pop into your podcast feed.

Sending you much love, compassion and grace in your parenting journey.

x

Lael and Marion

In this week's episode, we talk about Fear and Trust. We discuss how we relate to the world and the impact of that on our children. We invite you to explore whether we choose trust and love or whether default to negativity and fear.

[1.20] Why trust is the theme of parenting

[5:15] How fear can drive parenting and its imprint on children

[7.50] Our own imprints around the world and safety

[9.00] Marion's experience of terror and fear

[10.25] How we can heal from imprints of negativity or pain

[13.00] Practical fears and how they can help us grow

[17.00] Trusting trauma and healing

[22.55] Healing and Aware Parenting.

[24.30] Trusting the world and the lens we look through.

[29.00] Everything is an Opportunity

[31.40] 3 different mechanisms of healing

[34.05] Listening to the body

[37.00] What would trust look like?

[38.10] External and Internal experiences

[41.45] Doing the work for our children

[43.00] How fear can become our greatest gifts

[49.20 ] Best tips for having these conversations with your children.

This week’s invitation:

1.  What would you like to hear when Fear turns up for you?

2.  Be curious around what messages you are giving to your child. What are the Imprints?

Resources:

Aletha Solter - Attachment Play Book

Marions course - http://www.marionrose.net/online-courses/attachment-play-course/

Larry Cohen - The opposite of Worry (book)

Eric Erikson - https://www.simplypsychology.org/Erik-Erikson.html

 

As always, you can head over to the Aware Parenting Podcast Facebook group and join in the discussion, or you’ll find us on Instagram @theawareparentingpodcast 

You can find Marion at marionrose.net and Lael at laelstone.com.au

And if you haven’t already, make sure you subscribe to the podcast so we can pop into your podcast feed.

Sending you much love, compassion and grace in your parenting journey.

x

Lael and Marion

In this week's episode, we talk about Children and Sexuality. We share about how to create healthy imprints in our children and discuss age-appropriate conversations to have with our children to set up a positive relationship with sex and sexuality.

[2.40] Why this topic is important to talk about.

[5:15] Aware Parenting and respect for bodily autonomy and intimacy.

[6.05] Our own imprints around sexuality.

[8.27] Conscious touch .

[10.25] What did your Sex Education consist of and the impact on you?

[12.45] How do we change the paradigm around pleasure?

[17.35] Children discovering their bodies.

[19.55] Being mindful to not create shame around sexuality.

[22.45] Loving limits, safety and boundaries around sexuality.

[30.55] Respect in the Aware Parenting paradigm.

[31.15] Teachable moments and how we can have conversations around sex with children.

[35.15] Repression Mechanisms in Sexuality.

[38.00] Opening up discussions around the variations in Sexuality.

[39.20] Reading cues with your child around repression mechanisms and tools to assist them.

[44.45] Educating our children to be discerning around sexual content and images.

[47.00] Helping ourselves by laughing and diffusing our nervousness.

[49.20 ] Helpful tips for having these conversations with your children.

This week’s invitation:

1.  Tune into the imprints you had around sexuality.

2.  Would you like to use humour or laughter to release any discomfort you have around this topic?

Resources:

Lael's Webinar on Talking to your Kids about Sex - https://laelstone.webinarninja.com/live-webinars/36173/register

Lael's Webinar on Tweens and Teens and Sex ed - https://laelstone.webinarninja.com/live-webinars/87098/register

Sex Ed Rescue - https://sexedrescue.com/

Hush Sex Education - https://husheducation.com.au/

Culture Reframed (info around navigating pornography with children) - https://www.culturereframed.org/

Amaze (great resource for kids and parents) - https://amaze.org/

 

As always, you can head over to the Aware Parenting Podcast Facebook group and join in the discussion, or you’ll find us on Instagram @theawareparentingpodcast 

You can find Marion at marionrose.net and Lael at laelstone.com.au

And if you haven’t already, make sure you subscribe to the podcast so we can pop into your podcast feed.

Sending you much love, compassion, and grace in your parenting journey.

x

Lael and Marion

In this week's episode we talk about Raising Men; including the importance of raising boys with emotional awareness and sensitivity, and the difference that can make to families and the planet.

[1.30] Why addressing this now is so important for our future.

[3:00] Lloyd DeMause and Robin Grille and their perspectives on raising children.

[5.15] What is aggression?

[6.45] How do we channel strength and aggression in young men?

[11.24] The difference between outrage and frustration and anger.

[15.50] How do we model for young boys the qualities we want to see?

[20.00] The fears parents can have around not using punishments.

[23.15] Does harshness make us more loving?

[25.15] The need for male role models within sex ed and relationships.

[29.30] Supporting our children even when families look different with the masculine and feminine.

[35.00] Modelling healthy relationships.

[39.15] Helping our children heal when there is aggression.

[43.05] Holding the space for teens and big feelings and our inner masculine.

[47.08] Models of healthy expression of anger and feelings.

[50.50] Rites of passage for boys and men.

This week’s invitation:

1.  Tune into what was your imprint around the masculine? What is your inner loving father like?

2.  How do you feel about male energy and aggression and when they cry? Can you be with all those feelings in a male?

Resources:

Dan Siegel - Book - Brainstorm

Robin Grille - Book - Parenting for a peaceful world

Aletha Solter - Book - Tears and Tantrums

Aletha Solter - Book - Cooperative and Connected

Marions Masterclass on Power

 

As always, you can head over to the Aware Parenting Podcast Facebook group and join in the discussion, or you’ll find us on Instagram @theawareparentingpodcast 

You can find Marion at marionrose.net and Lael at laelstone.com.au

And if you haven’t already, make sure you subscribe to the podcast so we can pop into your podcast feed.

Sending you much love, compassion and grace in your parenting journey.

x

Lael and Marion

In this week's episode we talk about Highly Sensitive People and Aware Parenting. What if your child is Highly Sensitive? How can you support them in their sensitivity?

[2:30] Understanding and discovering the term Highly Sensitive Person

[4:20] The messages around being Highly Sensitive and how it was viewed as being something wrong

[6.50] The 4 general aspects of being Highly Sensitive

[9.48] The gifts of being Highly Sensitive

[14.10] Aware Parenting and being Highly Sensitive

[17.20] Trusting our children

[20.54] Meeting the needs of a sensitive child

[23.00] Learning to say No when sensitive

[26.00] Some phrases you can use when others are questioning your child

[30.30] Supporting our children in social situations

[34.00] Being a Highly Sensitive parent

[37.00] Taking care of ourselves

[39.49] Practical solutions for our children and ourselves

[46.30] Resources and what we may need to hear

This week’s invitation:

1. What stories go on for you about yourself or your child being Highly Sensitive?

2. What are the key phrases that you would love to hear?

Resources:

Highly Sensitive Movie - https://hsperson.com/film/

Elain Aron books - https://hsperson.com/books/

 

As always, you can head over to the Aware Parenting Podcast Facebook group and join in the discussion, or you’ll find us on Instagram @theawareparentingpodcast 

Sending you much love, compassion and grace in your parenting journey.

Lael and Marion

You can find Marion at marionrose.net and Lael at laelstone.com.au

And if you haven’t already, make sure you subscribe to the podcast so we can pop into your podcast feed every two weeks.

In this week's episode we talk about what Aware Parenting can look like in the future years. If you raise your kids with Aware Parenting, what may they be like as teens?

Show Notes :

[1:50] The doubts around raising our kids with Aware Parenting

[3:15] The difference with kids who may have been raised with punishments and rewards

[6:08] What are your experiences of kids who do have punishments

[7.55] Being able to express feelings and emotions with safety

[10.15] Owning our place as a parent and what we bring to our children

[12.18] Our children as mirrors and teachers

[13.10] How sibling rivalry feels

[16.42] Listening to teens voices

[18.15] Looking for deeper connections

[21.15] Internal dialogues

[24.55] What Indi feels teenagers crave

[28.29] Keeping it real - hard bits and good bits.

This week’s invitation:

1.     Tune into your fears and doubts around raising your kids with Aware Parenting and where does Trust sit for you.

2.     Remember what it was like as a teenage and what did you wish it looked like and how can you build that with your child.

Resources:

Lael’s Aware Parenting for Tweens and Teens Webinar : https://laelstone.webinarninja.com/live-webinars/87098/register

 

As always, you can head over to the Aware Parenting Podcast Facebook group and join in the discussion, or you’ll find us on Instagram @theawareparentingpodcast 

You can find Marion at marionrose.net and Lael at laelstone.com.au

And if you haven’t already, make sure you subscribe to the podcast so we can pop into your podcast feed every two weeks.

Sending you much love, compassion and grace in your parenting journey.

Lael and Marion

In this episode, we talk about Separation Anxiety and how you can assist your children through an Aware Parenting lens.

[2.01] Global separation anxiety and development

[2.57] Maps and Models around behaviour and Separation - 3 main reasons

[4.45] Lack of information for children

[9.15] Childrens needs with Separation

[13.00] Trusting yourself on the right care for your child

[15.40] Built up feelings that affect separation

[21.03] Practical example of how separation issues from the past can surface

[23.40] What is our energy saying around the separation

[26.00] What if we hold on to tightly and compassion for ourselves

[29.01] Natural timing and highly sensitive children

[33.21] How could drop-offs look like at school or kinder or daycare

[35.55} Tips for caregivers for a child who is upset

[37.05] The beauty of listening to loss

[39.20] Attachment play with Separation Games

[45.00] Other ideas around helping your child with Separation

[50.30] Invitations and Offerings to assist you with Separation

This week’s invitation:

1. Tune into what happens for you when you separate from your child. How does your child respond?

2. Do you have old wounds from when you were left as a child?

Resources:


Marion’s course: Inner Loving Presence Process Course: 
http://www.attachmentplaycourses.com/join-in


Lael’s sessions via Skype - [email protected]

Emma Dumas Separation Resource - http://www.expandingminds.com.au/

Aletha Solter Books : The Aware Baby, Tears and Tantrums, Cooperative and Connected, Attachment Play
 


As always, you can head over to the Aware Parenting Podcast Facebook group and join in the discussion, or you’ll find us on Instagram @theawareparentingpodcast


You can find Marion at www.marionrose.net and Lael at www.laelstone.com.au


And if you haven’t already, make sure you subscribe to the podcast so we can pop into your podcast feed every two weeks.




Sending you much love, compassion, and grace in your parenting journey.


Lael and Marion