The Daily Dad

Think of all the stuff you know. The skills you have. The movie quotes you can throw out there mid-conversation.

It’s interesting, isn’t it? You remember more from a two-hour movie than from the museums you were dragged to. You learned more from Wikipedia rabbit holes you fell down than you do from a couple decades in school. What’s that about?

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Of course, her father would have preferred to be powerful, to be wealthy, to hold some prestigious position. He didn’t want to dig sewage canals or wait on entitled aristocrats. He didn’t want to be at the bottom of Rome’s social hierarchy. Nobody would choose that life.

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Some of the things your kids think are ridiculous–products of their imagination or their fears. Some of the things they like are hilarious and weird–the products of their own uniqueness, products of just not knowing better. Some of the feelings they have are not your fault–again, they have imaginations and fears. Some of their feelings are products of mistakes you’ve made, flaws you have.

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Nobody would have wanted Joseph Kennedy to be their dad. He was an avaricious businessman. He cheated on his wife. He had his daughter lobotomized and sent away. He was controlling and manipulative. He saw his kids as extensions of himself. As we wrote recently, one of the only reasons Robert F. Kennedy turned out differently than his siblings is that he was mostly ignored and left alone by his parents, saving him from the ordeals of some of his brothers.

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On this weekend episode of the Daily Dad,  Ryan talks with his wife Samantha on screen time & the differences in parenting moods in the morning.

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When your kids mess up, what’s your reaction? Do you freak out? Or are you calm? Do you make the situation better...or worse?

​Can you actually listen?​

Or are you halfway through a solution before they’ve even gotten two words of explanation out of their mouths? 

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It was a long time ago. It was in a pretty conservative place, in a less understanding era. And even if it wasn’t, even in different circumstances, no parent wants to walk in to see their teenager making out with someone in their room. But in this case, a mom had been stunned to find her daughter on top of the covers with her daughter’s best girl friend.

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There’s something that strikes us as a little gross, the way politicians trot out their families to win elections, to humanize themselves or get sympathy when they screw up. There’s something exploitative about the way celebrities use pregnancy announcements or events in their kids’ life to get publicity. And there’s something plain weird about the way that some influencers turn their kids into content.

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Sometimes it feels like it would be easier if they just did what we wanted. If they could sit there for a second, as we try to handle something. If they could just pose for the photo. If they could keep the clothes we got them nice and clean. If they would play the role we hoped for, fulfill the dreams we have for them–go to the school, get the job we pick, have the wedding we plan for them in our fantasy.


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Education these days seems to be about signals. What did you get on your SATs? How many AP classes did you take? What schools did you apply to? What extracurriculars did you practice? Even some of the modern strain of political correctness, critics have said, is really just a way for people to prove that they are more educated than other people–that they were taught the right words for this and that.

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