The Daily Dad

On this episode of the Daily Dad Podcast, Ryan talks to Sam Gwynne about new parenting advice, the youth building a community around mental health, and the pressures of matching the expectations.

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There are different kinds of rich families. There are families that have lots of money. There are families that have lots of time together. Sometimes these families are the same…too often they are not.

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We’re always losing our kids. In fact, we’re raising them to lose them–every minute, every interaction is building towards that moment when they will leave and live their own life. We’re raising them knowing that one day we will leave them for good too. Plus there is the fact that, as the Stoics says, we’re constantly changing, ceasing to become who we once were–and nowhere is this truer than with our children, who will never be 1 or 2 or 3 or 13 ever again.

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Antoninus Pius, Marcus Aurelius’ adopted father and predecessor, was not a Stoic. He didn’t identify as, nor did anyone call him, a philosopher. He left behind no writings. There are no anecdotes of him dropping in on lectures in Greece or studying under some guru.

And yet, of all the people in Marcus’ life, Antoninus was the most Stoic. He was cool under pressure. He quietly went about his business. He was hard-working, self-sufficient, and never got worked up. He was a beloved leader. His mere presence put other people at ease.

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From his dad, Bruce Springsteen learned about shame, about broken pride, and struggling with demons that you can’t quite conquer. It’s an all too common story, unfortunately. The lack of a strong role model leaves a void that haunts a kid forever, even long after they leave the house. You can hear that pain in Springsteen’s songs today.

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Once, on an imperial tour in some distant province, a woman darted out from the crowd and blocked the path of the Emperor Hadrian, asking for help with some now-forgotten issue. Hadrian tried to put her off. “I haven’t got the time,” he said, attempting to move past her. “Well stop being emperor then!” the woman shouted after him. Hadrian paused, turned back and helped her.

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On this weekend episode of the Daily Dad,  Ryan talks to Tamron Hall about his new book release, more wholesome moments while in NYC, and how "Sharing Sucks" when dealing with two year olds.

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It happened again. Your kid screwed up. They did something stupid—from drawing on the walls to getting caught drinking. They hurt someone or they lied. They failed a test or broke something important. You’re pissed. You want to yell.

But before we do that, stop and think: Have you raised a good kid? Have you taught them right from wrong? Have you taught them to care about other people and the truth?

Yes, yes you have.

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Plutarch recorded the story that Socrates went to the fanciest neighborhood in Athens and called out, “What are you doing, men? You are giving all possible attention to acquiring money, but small thought to your sons to whom you are to leave it.”

As Socrates pointed out, money is just one piece of the legacy puzzle.

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Those white shoes your parents told you to keep off the grass, the khakis they wanted you to keep clean on Easter. The car they didn’t let you eat in, the walls they told you not to mess up with your posters.

Where is all that now? The shoes are long since thrown away, the pants outgrown, handed down and then finally tossed by someone. The walls have been repainted many times over. Even the car, by this point, is probably a squashed metal cube in a junkyard–and if it isn’t, the person driving it has long since given up trying to make sure it’s ‘nice.’

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