The Daily Dad

You notice it one day–the garage is full. Of strollers no longer used–first the single, then the double and the jogger. The chair you and your spouse spent so many wee hours of the morning in, rocking the baby back to sleep in. There is the balance bike. Then the first one with pedals. It’s next to the trailer you used to strap them in and tow them behind your bike.

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It’s important to remember that everyone was a kid once…and that no child is perfect. For instance, as a child Gandhi once stole some money from his brother. The boy was wracked with guilt, terrified of the consequences–from his parents, from the law, from God. Ultimately, he went to his father and confessed, laying out every aspect of his crime in great detail in a long, self-flagellating note, offering himself up for some extreme punishment he felt he deserved.

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On this weekend episode of the Daily Dad,  Ryan talks to KIND Snacks Founder Daniel Lubetzky about the importance of being kind, culture and values in a successful company & the steps on making the world a better place.

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In one of F. Scott Fitzerald’s funniest short stories, “Head and Shoulders,” a certifiable genius falls in love with a showgirl. The plot and moral of the story aren’t relevant for today’s email—though the story is highly recommended—instead there is a little passage in it that introduces a concept that is worth thinking about:

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“Your kids are not keeping score on your career. They just want a parent who’s emotionally present and supportive of them.”

-Ben Stiller

David Letterman was the king of late night. His shows ran for thirty-three seasons, making him the longest-serving late-night talk show host in the history of American television. At its peak, he was making something like $30 million a year, watched by an audience of many millions every week.

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There is a joke about a kid who, not liking the ‘No’ he got from one parent, asked the other, in order to get a ‘Yes.’ “Never come between your mother and I,” the father says, “we sleep in the same bed together.”

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We spend a lot of time looking at the absolute worst parents. Not just because so many leaders and celebrities and artists seem to put their families absolutely last in order to achieve their success, but also because artistically, flawed and tragic figures quite naturally fill up the most pages and screentime. As Tolstoy opens Anna Karenina, all happy families resemble each other but unhappy families are unhappy in their own way.

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Of course, this parenting thing is hard. It’s expensive. It’s an enormous amount of work and responsibility. And yet, we are the luckiest people in the world, aren’t we?

Not just because, as we’ve said before, it took a black swan of black swans for any of us to be here, for us to even have our kids (especially those parents who struggled with fertility or adoption). We have been given an incredible gift with this opportunity to be parents.

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On this weekend episode of the Daily Dad,  Ryan sits down with author Amy Morin in talks on how to find agency in your everyday life, overcoming mentally challenging situations by gaining perspective, and the cost of success when it comes to parenthood.

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Relationships are tricky. Especially the ones we have built the modern world around. Monogamous. Long term. An equal partner in parenting and in professional pursuits. Oh and our partner is supposed to be our best friend too.

It’s a lot to ask of someone. Harder still when you throw in the craziness of kids and the current state of the world. But you deserve a partner like that, and they deserve a partner like you. We deserve happiness and fulfillment and love, together.

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