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We had this idea of what we wanted, needed our lives to be. How much money we wanted to make and through what career path. We wanted a new house. We wanted to go on trips. We wanted to live somewhere exciting and interesting. We wanted to do cool stuff, we demanded a lot out of life.
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Yeah, some people won’t get it. Yeah, some people think it’s weak.
But you? You know it isn’t.
Which is why you make no secret about your other life–about your kids, about what being a good parent demands of you, how it competes for your time (and interest) at work.
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“This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/dailydad and get on your way to being your best self.”
There was that moment after they were born that you found yourself looking forward to when they could crawl. It will be so fun, you thought…right up until they started crawling away and getting themselves into dangerous situations.
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We all want better for our kids. We want them to have a better life than we had. We want them to have better parents than we had. That’s why we’re trying so hard. That’s why we wrestle with our demons–going to therapy, reading books, putting in the work.
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On this weekend episode of the Daily Dad, Ryan talks to Steven Rinella about the sense of wonder, respect & adventure for nature, spending time with family, and his new book catch a crayfish, count the stars: fun projects, skills, and adventures for outdoor kids .
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There is so much we want to teach our kids—so much that fathers are expected to teach their kids. How to ride a bike. How to swim. How to throw a punch. How to tie a tie. How to read. How to get up the guts to talk to someone.
All of this is important, of course. All of this must be done.
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The last book you read was Goodnight Moon. The last series you binged was Harry Potter. You know more about the latest scandal at your daughter’s high school than the 2024 primary candidates. You’ve spent so much time in the sun at soccer games and baseball practice that you might be fried inside.
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The two boys who look just like you. The daughter who lights up when you pick her up from school. The teenager who wears your old band t-shirts. The mischievous prankster who makes you roll your head back in laughter. The nerd who plays video games with you. The foodie who loves to cook with you. The kid going off to college. The one sitting behind the store counter of their first job.
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“She’s not good at hearing people,” the musician Mikel Jollett writes of his mother in his haunting memoir Hollywood Park. “If we tell her we’re hungry, she’ll say, ‘No you’re not. You ate earlier.’ If one of us says ‘I’m sad,’ she tells us that it’s not true, that we’re happy now because we’re with her.”
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When they’re grouchy, when they’re glass-eyed, when they’re stuck, when they’re making choices that don’t quite make sense…there could be many reasons why your kids are acting this way. They could be tired, as we’ve said before. They’re almost certainly hungry–as we said, that’s at the root of most problems. They could be depressed, they could be going through something and just not understand what it is.
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