Ian and I sat down three days after his vasectomy reversal to answer the
questions you've been sending in - about red flags, standards, exes,
co-parenting, blended family, and what it actually takes to rebuild after
divorce.
Three years ago we both said we didn't want a relationship. I also said I'd
never date a military man. This is the honest version of how that turned
out, plus the questions I get asked most: how you know when you've found your person, when to walk away, and what I'd tell myself before any of it happened. We also get into the reversal itself - why he got a vasectomy after his divorce, how we made the decision together, and the odds nobody tells you about.
Timestamps:
0:00 - The questions you sent in
1:40 - Three days post-op (and why he can't work out for a month)
5:00 - Three years ago we said we didn't want a relationship
5:24 - The conversation in Destin that changed everything
6:20 - Why both our shields were up
7:04 - What we're covering today
7:16 - Why Ian got a vasectomy after his divorce
8:06 - How we knew we were ready to try for a baby
9:47 - Getting help at home, and why we stopped feeling guilty
11:02 - How Ian feels about the house manager situation
14:57 - How soon we're trying (and the wedding day timing)
15:18 - Finding a specialist and what the reversal involved
16:13 - The odds nobody tells you about
17:29 - Do we want one baby or more?
17:35 - How the kids reacted
18:29 - What my last relationship taught me about what I needed
20:11 - What I had to fix in myself first
21:04 - How we handle disrespect: call it out, talk it out
22:10 - Has the spark faded? An honest answer
23:49 - Never stop dating each other
29:17 - Do we talk to each other's exes?
29:51 - Where our co-parenting relationships stand now
32:01 - Making sure every child feels equally loved
33:22 - Being a step-parent without replacing anyone
33:53 - The day she started calling me mom
35:32 - Do we discipline each other's kids the same way?
36:00 - Will a new baby make the kids feel left out?
37:26 - Building our own traditions around theirs
41:32 - How do you know when you've found your person?
41:49 - Advice for anyone dating in their 20s and 30s
43:15 - My top 10 non-negotiables (and the one I broke)
43:40 - Should you make the first move?
44:53 - The red flags to walk away from
45:04 - What we're most excited about
45:53 - Wedding update
46:27 - What we'd tell ourselves before the divorces
47:10 - The person who brings out your worst self
47:40 - Stand firm in your values
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