The Feminist Dating Show

This week kicks off our new series on the podcast of amazing folks who've worked with Lily and who are embodying their main character energy. You're going to hear more about how these women are giving themselves permission to have what they want and take massive courageous action.

Today's episode is all about Maddie's main character energy journey. We worked together last year. She shares how she has been taking up space, asking for more, and valuing her worth.

Hot-takes from this episode:

• The three pillars of main character energy! (00:25)

• Having genuine belonging is better than accumulating connection (7:58)

• What it was like for Maddie to step into the personal growth space (12:28)

• The benefits of dating mindfully and with intention (20:30)

• How Maddie went from people-pleasing to understanding what she wants and putting herself first (28:11)

Links and resources:

• Last week's episode about the big shifts that are happening!

• Date Brazen on Instagram

Show notes with transcript: https://www.datebrazen.com/blog/maddies-main-character-energy/

Vulnerability alert! This week I am sharing some big, exciting news with y'all. In fact, I am taking lessons from the work I do with my clients and applying them to my professional life. I am showing up, being courageous, and trusting that this next path for Date Brazen is the right one. Yes, I said next path! Listen to this episode to hear about the big shift that is coming and what harnessing your main character energy has to do with it all.

I am going to be talking about diving deeper into your self-trust because when you do, you will feel incredible about every decision in your dating life. I'll also share what one client said to me and how that one sentence was the catalyst for the deep and meaningful change in my life's work and mission to support women like you.

When you create your own freedom in your life, when you show up fully for yourself, when you start to unlearn the ways the patriarchy has kept you playing small, you can create the impact you want to see in yourself and in the world around you.

Links and resources:

• Date Brazen on Instagram
• Episode 69: Worthiness + Winning Results with Simone Grace Seol

SHOW NOTES: https://www.datebrazen.com/blog/what-self-trust-will-do

This week we are talking about how to create a pleasure-filled sex life with or without a partner. Joining me in this episode is pleasure expert Danielle Savory. Danielle weaves together her background in neuroscience, her expertise in mindfulness, and her skills as a coach to help women rewire their brains, connect with their bodies, and take an empowered approach to their sexuality. Join us for this bold, empowering, and juicy episode!

Hot-takes from this episode:

• The mind-body connection and embracing your sexuality
• Your dream sex life will keep growing and evolving as you grow and evolve too
• How the practice of self-compassion can shift your sex life
• Getting your needs met when you don't have a sexual partner!
• We redefine the idea of casual sex
• What it means to live as a "turned on woman"

Links and resources:

• Date Brazen on InstagramDanielle Savory's website

• Danielle Savory on Instagram

• It's My Pleasure podcast

• Reclaiming your sexual agency with Dr. Juliana Hauser

• Self-Compassion with Kristen Neff

SHOW NOTES:

https://www.datebrazen.com/blog/better-sex-with-danielle-savory

This week's episode has been in the works since early 2020! In March of that same year, Chris and I started watching Love on the Spectrum, a Netflix series that follows young adults on the autism spectrum, who explore the unpredictable world of dating and its unique challenges. I quickly recognized how beautifully crafted the series was and how much we can learn from it. So, I invited Jodi Rodgers, the show's sexologist and therapist, to share all of her dating wisdom with us!

Jodi Rodgers is a qualified sexologist, counselor, and special education teacher. She has worked within the education and community sectors in Australia and all over the world. She has extensive experience working with neurodiverse people of all ages.

She created her private practice, Birds and Bees, after 25 years of working in education, disability, and sexuality fields. Birds and Bees specializes in delivering counseling services and workshops for people with a disability, with a focus on sexuality, sexual health, and relationships, as well as training for parents, carers, and professionals to raise the community's capacity in this sometimes tricky area.

Hot-takes from this episode:

• Communication in the dating world today is complex
• Knowing how to exit a date is just as important as knowing how to enter a date
• Why it is important to find ways to communicate our differences
• What neurotypical people should know about dating
• The most integral part of being human is our ability to connect with other people
• We ALL struggle with dating and everybody needs support

Links and resources:

• Date Brazen on Instagram
• Jodi Rodgers on Instagram
• Love on the Spectrum
• Jodi Rodgers on Mr. A-+ Podcast

Fina Antwine and I are going deep on all things self-care, how to embody your desires, how to trust your body, and step into your sacred power. If you are available for this powerful as hell conversation, listen in because it will impact your day for the better. Fila Antwine is an emotional wellness coach with expertise in teaching you how to master self-care while creating healthy relationships and putting yourself first so you can build a life that you actually love.

Note: We discuss themes of sexual abuse in this episode. If that is not for you today, please take care of yourself and skip this episode.

Hot-takes from this episode:

• When you say, "There are no good men", this is a learned trauma response passed down from the women in your family.
• You can have high self-esteem and how self-worth
• Where women struggle the most in today's dating space
• "What do you need most now?" This question can be comforting AND scary
• The act of Sacred Self Care - what it is and how to practice it in your life!
• The biggest obstacle to living sacred self-care and how to tackle it

Links and resources:

Fila's websiteFila's Love of Your Life IntensiveFila on InstagramDate Brazen on InstagramAnwar White

SHOW NOTES:

https://www.datebrazen.com/blog/love-of-your-life-intensive-with-fila-antwine

I am excited to be sharing one of my favorite episodes to date; on boundaries!

Boundaries are one of the most important tools (besides self-compassion) that you have, in your dating arsenal. In this episode, I share a boundary starter pack and explain why it may be hard for you to declare your boundaries, and offer a strategy that will help you get started.

SHOW NOTES: https://www.datebrazen.com/blog/how-to-declare-your-boundaries

Have you ever wondered if your life could be different without alcohol? This week, alcohol-free lifestyle expert, Amanda Kuda, joins me for a conversation about elective sobriety and sober dating. Amanda helps ambitious women design alcohol-free lives they are in love with. Whether you are sober-curious or already sober-free, this episode is for you.

Amanda says that "Everything can change in your life if you choose to live alcohol-free." In this episode, we explore what it means to be sober-free, the notion that elective sobriety does not mean anti-alcohol, and how to maneuver dating as a sober, badass woman.

Hot-Takes from This Episode:

• Elective sobriety is when you are choosing to eliminate something from your life that is suppressing you from living to your true potential
• There are lessons to be learned from your resistance to living a sober-free life
• Discovering what life can be like without alcohol
• Sober-dating and how to navigate the conversation that you are alcohol-free
• Amanda shares her top tips for sober-free dating

Here Are The Links & Resources Mentioned In Today's Episode:

• Amanda's website
• Amanda on Instagram
• Amanda's Mindful Dating Mini-Course
• Date Brazen on Instagram

SHOW NOTES: https://www.datebrazen.com/blog/how-to-do-alcohol-free-dating-with-amanda-kuda

If you have decided you only want to date one person at a time, but aren't sure how to go about it - this episode is for you! Today, I am talking all about how to navigate dating multiple people at once, dating one person at a time, how to know what is right for you, and how to express your wants and needs to a potential partner.

This episode is an invitation to give yourself permission to want what you want. If what you want is to date multiple people at once, go for it. If you want to date one person at a time - go for it. You are the CEO of your love life.

Hot-Takes from This Episode:

• What to do when you feel like wanting to be exclusive feels like you are being too much
• How to define your boundaries around commitment
• Plus, expressing and understanding your commitment preferences
• Think about: "What are you hoping for in your dating life? What are you excited to happen in your dating life?"
• Give yourself permission to focus on one person at a time. The right person for you will choose you, too.
• Encouragement to map out your expectations/preferences for monogamy/exclusivity

Here Are The Links & Resources Mentioned In Today's Episode:

• The Big Leap, Gay Hendricks
• Date Brazen on Instagram

SHOW NOTES: https://www.datebrazen.com/blog/dating-only-one-person-at-a-time

This week I am talking about the concept of competition in your dating life. I'll be sharing how to move from a competitive mindset to a party mindset. Of course, it's hard NOT to think of dating as a competition..., especially when being in a relationship represents "moving forward" into a new stage in life. However, I am here to remind you that's a patriarchal narrative that no longer serves you.

In this episode, I explore how competition shows up, what it is a reflection of and how you begin to practice self-trust and confidence in order to change your dating mindset for good.

Dating is not a race to the finish line. It's a party where your only job is to own what you desire, own what you need, get your needs met, and allow the magic of co-creation to do the rest.

Hot-Takes from This Episode:

• Being stuck in a cycle of perceived competition and comparison
• Patriarchal narratives do not serve you or your dating life
• Getting into a more expansive and empowering truth
• We are here to play, to have fun, serve ourselves and others, and create the world we want to see
• How can you create more freedom in your life?
• Life and dating are not zero-sum games

Here Are The Links & Resources Mentioned In Today's Episode:

• Date Brazen on Instagram

SHOW NOTES: https://www.datebrazen.com/blog/moving-from-competition-mindset-to-party-mindset-in-your-dating-life

Going from single-hood to being partnered can be quite a transition. It can leave you feeling a mixture of emotions, introduce you to new experiences, and uncover new (and old) insecurities. Gorgeous friend, that's okay! This week, Modern Marriage Mentor, Maggie Reyes, joins me to discuss how to build the love life you desire, get comfortable with moving from independence to interdependence, and show up in your relationship honestly.

We discuss the intersection between my work as a dating coach, helping women make dating feel like self-care, and Maggie's work helping women master their mindset in order to make their marriage better.

Listen to hear this fun and empowering conversation!

Hot-Takes from This Episode:

• What if you treated your "quirk" as a feature and not a bug

• Transitioning from life as a single woman to life with a partner, and honoring the grief or other feelings you may feel

• Maggie weighs in on the idea that "men don't do the same emotional work women do."

• Moving away from the "all or nothing" mindset

• How Maggie helps women communicate in relationships including open-hearted or uncomplicated communication

• Creating awareness around the stress cycle and how you are responding

• Is wanting what you want somehow too much within a relationship?

• Why Maggie says to write a job description for your ideal partner

Here Are The Links & Resources Mentioned In Today's Episode:

• Date Brazen on Instagram

• Maggie on Instagram

• Maggie's website

• The Marriage Life Coach Podcast

• 69. Worthiness + Winning Results with Simone Grace Seol

• The Highly Sensitive Person

• Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle

SHOW NOTES: https://www.datebrazen.com/blog/building-the-love-life-you-want-with-maggie-reyes