The Feminist Dating Show

Are you currently in a situationship? You are 'kind-of' seeing someone but there is no commitment and no talk about the future. Why do you keep falling into situationships and what can you do about it? Therapist Dontea' Mitchell-Hunter joins me for a discussion about how to practice self-love and worthiness in and out of relationships.

Dontea' Mitchell-Hunter is a self-worth therapist that helps BIPOC women get out of unfulfilling relationships and recreate self-love & happiness - single or partnered. She wants women to know their worth doesn't come from being in a relationship nor what others think of them.

Hot-Takes from This Episode:

• Coming into your boundaries and releasing people who are not respecting them.

• Situation-ships: what they are and why we find ourselves in them.

• Standing by your personal preferences, like not wanting kids.

• What to do when your values isolate you from people you care about.

Here Are The Links & Resources Mentioned In Today's Episode:

• Dontea's website

• Detox Therapy Podcast

• Dontea' on Instagram

• Date Brazen on Instagram

Pleasure. Money. Dating. That is what we are talking about on the Date Brazen podcast this week! Serena Hicks teaches coaches how to make, have, and move BIG Happy Money ™ as a Love-leading revolution in this world. She joins me for a discussion about love, relationships, and the money mindset.

Together we talk about moving from a scarcity mindset, which sounds something like, "There aren't enough good people out there, I'll never find love. I need to take whatever I can get and take it now!" To one of there is enough, as in, "The one is out there and that is enough for me. Knowing this truth IS enough."

Hot-Takes from This Episode:

• What Big Money is and how Serena discovered it after a shame spiral about money and living from a scarcity mindset.
• Sometimes our net worth is a reflection of our self-worth.
• Systems of oppression and patriarchy are affecting your worth.'
• Why we feel so much shame about debt and what we can do about it.
• How to solve for underearning starts with getting hip to realizing how awesome you are.
• Functioning from scarcity concept to functioning from ENOUGH.

Here Are The Links & Resources Mentioned In Today's Episode:

• Serena's website
• Big Money Mastermind
• Serena on Instagram
• Date Brazen on Instagram
• WEBZ Chicago's Making Oprah

SHOW NOTES: https://www.datebrazen.com/blog/how-to-stop-shoulding-yourself/big-happy-money-and-your-love-life-with-serena-hicks

Today we are going to be talking about the word "should". Specifically, what it means if you are shoulding yourself, how it's affecting your dating life, and how to start choosing an easier path forward. I should let it go. I should have figured this out by now. I shouldn't care so much. I should just push a little harder.

"Should" thoughts such as these are so insidious. Tune in to hear how to start shedding the shoulds from your dating life for good.

Hot-takes From This Episode:

• "Shoulding" is a sign that you need to play with self-compassion

• What if should was not an option? What would that sound, look, and feel like?

• Why should is a weapon against your own agency.

• You deserve to be self-trust-filled and empowered.

• The "should" standard is there to keep you oppressed.

• "Should" is your teacher, it is not the enemy. It is here to teach you where to practice self-compassion and unhook from previous norms that kept you in a box.

Here Are The Links & Resources Mentioned In Today's Episode:

• Join the Brazen Breakthrough - Apply Today!

• Date Brazen on Instagram @datebrazen

• Episode 69: Worthiness + Winning Results with Simone Grace Seol

SHOW NOTES: https://www.datebrazen.com/blog/how-to-stop-shoulding-yourself

Welcome to a very special episode of the Date Brazen Podcast! It's episode 100, y'all! Returning to the show is my partner Chris. He joined me for an Ask Chris and Lily Anything episode way back in 2020. In this episode, he joins me as my host and asks me some burning questions about dating, relationships, growing Date Brazen, and everything in between. Join us for this fun and behind-the-scenes episode!

Hot-takes From This Episode:

• My favorite Date Brazen episodes
• The hardest part of our relationship: being human together.
• What I am most PROUD to say "No," to.
• Do I believe in red flags? Hint: YES!
• Chris shares some of his favorite Date Brazen-isms

Here Are The Links & Resources Mentioned In Today's Episode:

• Join the Brazen Breakthrough - Apply Today!
• Date Brazen on Instagram @datebrazen
• Episode 15: Our Relationship: Ask Lily and Chris Anything
• Episode 69: Worthiness + Winning Results with Simone Grace Seol
• The Spark File Podcast

SHOW NOTES: https://www.datebrazen.com/blog/100th-episode-chris-asks-lily-anything

Why does it feel like shit to put yourself first? This week I am talking all about putting yourself first, why it feels uncomfortable, and what you can do about it.

When we choose ourselves and set boundaries to protect ourselves, it doesn't always feel like sunshine and roses. In fact, it can feel uncertain and downright scary.

Here's the thing, as women in a patriarchal society, we've been socialized to put the needs of others before our own. So it's going to feel shitty when we choose to respond to our own needs first. And that's okay.

It's time to choose YOU, my gorgeous friend. I invite you on this journey.

Hot-takes From This Episode:

• Why putting others first feels safe and putting yourself first feels unsafe.
• Break up with the attachment of the thought, "Discomfort means I did something wrong."
• Practice self-compassion: Yes, putting yourself first is going to be uncomfortable and it is okay.
• I share a simple meditation to help you to learn to put your needs first.

Here Are The Links & Resources Mentioned In Today's Episode:

• Join the Brazen Breakthrough - Apply Today!
• Date Brazen on Instagram @datebrazen

SHOW NOTES: https://www.datebrazen.com/blog/putting-yourself-first

This week Lauren, one of my clients from the Brazen Breakthrough Mastermind, joins me to share her transformation story. And y'all, her courage to do something that is out of her comfort zone, like being on a podcast, is indicative of her power to show up for herself. Before the Brazen Breakthrough, Lauren felt as though something was inherently wrong with her because dating didn't come easily. In this episode, she shares her decision to join the Brazen Breakthrough and explores how it helped her to become the main character in her life, show up for herself, and embrace her power. She also talked eloquently about how her biggest breakthrough had very little to do with dating and everything to do with believing in herself.

Hot-takes From This Episode:

• We explore the idea of being stuck in the story of "I'm too old to find a partner."
• How the patriarchy frames and shapes our thoughts about dating.
• The deep work we do in the Brazen Breakthrough is not just about finding a date.
• How Lauren learned to harness and embrace her main character energy.
• You are worth the investment.
• Lauren's realization that she has everything she needs in order to get everything she desires.

Here Are The Links & Resources Mentioned In Today's Episode:

• Join the Brazen Breakthrough - Apply Today!
• Date Brazen on Instagram @datebrazen
• Untamed, Glennon Doyle

Show Notes: https://www.datebrazen.com/blog/laurens-brazen-breakthrough-story

"I can't expect to have an emotionally intelligent partner and be attracted to them." Woah. If you are thinking to yourself, "Yes, that's me. I think that!" Then yes, friend, that is where we are going today. In this episode, I help illuminate this story you have been carrying around about your love life, help you to excavate it, gently, and come out the other side feeling more in control.

So yes, you have a lot of expectations and desires for your dating life. Your job is not to know how things are going to happen. Your job is to ask for what you want and to learn how to overcome patriarchal narratives that have been keeping you confined.

Tune into this episode as we hold space for your human experience and rewrite narratives that have been holding you back from the expansiveness of who you are!

Hot-takes From This Episode:

• What is an emotionally intelligent partner, anyway?
• How to describe and attract what you desire.
• Confirmation bias: if your brain has decided what you want doesn't exist, your brain will continue to look for that evidence!
• Wanting what you want means starting to look for evidence that what you want DOES exist.
• Consider: What does attraction mean to you?
• Moving from an Either/Or mindset to a Both/And mindset.
• The patriarchal influence on your dating life.
• Journal: What is a thought that feels useful and true?

Here Are The Links & Resources Mentioned In Today's Episode:

• Join the Brazen Breakthrough - Apply Today!
• Date Brazen on Instagram @datebrazen

Show notes: https://www.datebrazen.com/blog/is-an-emotionally-intelligent-and-attractive-partner-possible

Have you ever received bad dating advice from family or friends? And has that advice impacted you in negative ways? Well, this week, I talk about how to deal when you get bad dating advice from people who have no business dishing it out.

Some of the advice could sound something like:

"Maybe you're single because you asked for too much."

"Maybe you're single because you didn't lose weight."

"Maybe you didn't give them enough of a try."

"Maybe you are just too old."

Getting bad advice SUCKS. Yes, and, if you think those thoughts to be true, it's time to breathe new life into the stories you are believing about your love life. This episode is going to help you do just that.

Hot-takes from this episode:

• Acknowledge that bad dating advice SUCKS.
• Allow yourself to feel your feelings, including anger, resentment, or fear.
• Ask yourself: What does this advice say about the person giving it?
• Prioritize your self-care.

Here Are The Links & Resources Mentioned In Today's Episode:

• Join the Brazen Breakthrough - Apply Today!

• Date Brazen on Instagram @datebrazen

SHOW NOTES: https://www.datebrazen.com/blog/how-to-respond-to-bad-dating-advice

In this episode, I dispel jealousy myths and talk about what to do if or when you are feeling jealous. I'll also give you some of my hot takes about why jealousy isn't bad, how to hold yourself with compassion, and move forward powerfully.

Remember, jealousy is not something that excludes you from attracting more, it just means you are human.

Are you all in for the Brazen Galentine Extraganva? Learn how to create your most joyful, courageous love life. Instead of figuring it out "one day", join me and other courageous, strong, and amazing women in building a solid game plan to reach your desires right now. It's free to join, click this link to register and save the date for February 13th 💜

Hot-takes from this Episode:

• Why it's hard to feel negative emotions, such as jealousy.
• Journaling prompt: What story are you making up about feeling jealous?
• Your feelings are your feelings and you get to have them.
• A reminder that desiring something is normal.
• Notice where you are feeling jealous in your romantic life.
• Think about: What the feeling of jealousy is meant to teach you about yourself.

Here Are The Links & Resources Mentioned In Today's Episode:

• Date Brazen's Galentine's Day Extravaganza
• Join the Brazen Breakthrough waitlist
• Date Brazen on Instagram @datebrazen

SHOW NOTES: https://www.datebrazen.com/blog/what-to-do-when-youre-jealous-of-your-coupled-friend

This week I dive into the good and bad of dating with guests Jessie Jolles and Claire Burns, hosts of the popular podcast No Such Thing As Love. In this episode, they share some of the ways in which their dating lives have changed over the past two years and some of the lessons they have learned.

SHOW NOTES: https://www.datebrazen.com/blog/how-jessie-jolles-and-claire-burns-created-badass-love-lives