The Mark Groves Podcast

Every single human has surely suffered with feeling invalidated for their emotions. Author of ’It’s Not Always Depression’ and psychotherapist, Hilary Jacobs Hendel joined us to explore her ground-breaking work on emotions. Many of us have never really learned the true anatomy of our emotions. As Hilary explains, we can build our lives around avoiding the true feeling of our emotions. For many of us our early experiences with emotions involved us being told to ‘get over it’ in one way or another. Fully embracing emotions like anger and hurt means going against our conditioning, and some of these emotions seem downright scary. Could we end up lashing out in rage? Or could embracing our pain actually open the pathway toward calm, composure and compassion? Hilary walks us through the model she uses that allows people to experience - often for the first time in their lives - how to fully feel a feeling, and the freedom that this experiences offers us.

1.30 mins - Introduction to the Break up Recovery course.

4 mins - Introduction to Hilary Jacobs Hendel.

6 mins - Emotions are involuntary physical responses, we cannot just ‘get over them’.

9 mins - What are positive emotions - expansive experiences, what does it feel like to allow them to arise?

14 mins - “It runs in the family” the narrative of inherited patterns.

18 mins - What is anxiety and how does it exist within the body?

22 mins - Understanding the change triangle and the impact of shame.

29 mins - Experiencing the full emotional wave, the emotional experience of anger.

39 mins - Moving though childhood trauma.

47 mins - How do we know if we have suppressed core emotions?

54 mins - I feel therefore I am.

1hr 3mins - Working through other peoples emotions.

1hr 18mins - Free resources from Hilary Jacobs Hendel.

Hilary Jacobs Hendel, LCSW, takes the complex world of emotions and makes them easy to understand for all. She is author of the award-winning self-help book on emotions called, It’s Not Always Depression: Working the Change Triangle to Listen to the Body, Discover Core Emotions, and Connect to Your Authentic Self (Random House, 2018). She is a certified psychoanalyst and AEDP psychotherapist and supervisor. She has published articles in The New York Times, TIME, Oprah, Salon, and professional journals. Hendel also consulted on the psychological development of characters on AMC’s Mad Men. Hilary’s blog on emotions and how to use them for wellbeing is read worldwide. For more FREE resources on emotions and emotional health, visit: Hilaryjacobshendel.com

Find out more about the Change Triangle Here

It's Not Always Depression by Hilary Jacobs Hendel

Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

This game-changing episode will entirely change the way you look at mental health. Dr Kelly Brogan is a psychiatrist and a New York Times bestselling author who has walked the path of integrative and holistic health. While being trained as a psychiatrist, Dr Brogan was a staunch supporter of the pharmaceutical model for symptom suppression. After her own illness and resultant awakening, Dr Brogan entirely changed her clinical practice. Dr Brogan describes the “bait and switch” trap of the medical system, capturing highly sensitive people with medications that often turn situational pain into chronic illness. She argues that rather than suppressing our symptoms we can learn what they are here to teach us, we can see our vulnerability as a gift rather than a curse. Far from being trapped, we are emerging into a zeitgeist of reparenting and unconditional love for self. Dr Brogan describes the joy of liberation from darkness and the power in self care. We can all liberate ourselves to life and Dr Brogan walks us through the model she uses to heal all kinds of illness.

1 min - Introduction from Mark, Dr. Kelly Brogan’s book, psychological science, pharmaceuticals, and all of their interconnectedness.

7 mins - Dr. Kelly Brogan’s introduction.

9 mins - Dr. Kelly Brogan’s background in psychiatry, her journey to integrative and holistic psychiatry. Realising that as a clinician nobody was ever encouraged to investigate the root causes of presenting symptoms.

13 mins - The story we tell ourselves about our mental health, we cannot win the war against ourselves.

18 mins - Doctor induced harm and the impact of medication on making symptoms chronic. The role of habit forming chemicals. Why psychiatrists would remain defensive of a school of thought they’ve invested hundreds of thousands of dollars in learning.

23 mins - The risks of medications emerging in recent research, the benefit of medications going to only 18% of patients.

28 mins - Working with vulnerability rather than against it. Self discovery vs symptom suppression. The bait and switch, capturing highly sensitive people within the system.

32 mins - Beginning to relate to pain as a source of power rather than weakness. The joy of liberation from darkness and secrecy. The power of self care and self liberation.

46 mins - The chemical imbalance theory of mental health and the shift away from it. How to turn off the alarm bells that activate the flight, fight, freeze.

57 mins - Making the decision to heal from the root. Making the decision to end the suffering.

1.05 mins - Dr Brogan’s model for self healing, the common types of illness and the model for healing these. Changing mentality and the resultant shift in your life.\

Kelly Brogan, M.D., is a holistic health psychiatrist, author of the New York Times bestselling book, A Mind of Your Own, and the children’s book, A Time for Rain, and co-editor of the landmark textbook, Integrative Therapies for Depression. She completed her psychiatric training and fellowship at NYU Medical Center after graduating from Cornell University Medical College and has a B.S. from M.I.T. in Systems Neuroscience. She is board-certified in psychiatry, psychosomatic medicine, and integrative holistic medicine and is specialized in a root-cause resolution approach to psychiatric syndromes and symptoms. She is a certified KRI Kundalini Yoga teacher and a mother of two.

Preorder Dr Kelly Brogan's newest book 'Own Your Self' Here!

Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Anger is one of the most powerful emotions, it can change lives and change the world. But it can also become incredibly destructive. Alistair Moes (Angerman) is an expert on all things anger. In this episode we delve into what anger means, what it looks like and feels like and how we can use it in healthy ways to deepen our connections with self and others.

1 min - Intro from Mark - the difficulty in engaging with our anger.

3 mins - The breakup recovery course.

4 mins - Intro to Alistair Moes - what happens when we don’t express anger?

6 mins - The link between our gut health and our anger.

11 mins - Alistair’s own experience with boundaries in childhood.

20 mins - Identifying where you are repressing emotions.

28 mins - The power of listening and witnessing your partner.

41 mins - The power in choosing to have hard conversations.

49 mins - The connection between rage and grief.

56 mins - How to engage with your anger, using resources to learn about anger.

Alistair Moes (Angerman) is an International Anger Management Expert and Author, who has been working professionally as a counsellor/educator since 1989 and as an anger management specialist in private practice since 1995. Alistair has worked with those who have enormous challenges in the world: from high performance business leaders, gold medal winning Olympic and professional athletes and coaches people that are close to homeless. Anger is an equal opportunity emotion. Alistair has developed a manner of working, which is respectful, solution-focussed and based on both academic theory and extensive experience. This experience includes working with trauma, and historic abuse in a manner that honours each person and allows for deep healing. 

Find Angerman on Instagram here and more resources here

Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Do you know what traumas happened to your grandparents, or great-grandparents? Do you know how those traumas might be impacting on your patterns or triggers today? My guest this week is one of the world’s leading experts in the field of intergenerational trauma. Mark Wolynn not only shares his research and understandings of the field, but also his own story and the stories of some of his clients in understanding their inherited traumas. I was completely mindblown by this episode, whether you know your family history or not, you absolutely must not miss this conversation.

Episode Highlights:

3 mins - Intro to Mark Wolynn and family trauma.

5 mins - How major life events or triggers can relate to experiences of previous generations.

11 mins - Are we ‘wired this way’ or have we inherited our patterns?

13 mins - How we can understand the nature of epigenetics through research on mice.

20 mins - Why do we repeat our traumas?

24 mins - The story of Sarah and her grandparents trauma.

32 mins - The ‘family tree’ and who the family system includes beyond biological family members.

37 mins - Opening up the possibility of our ‘work’ being beyond just our individual experiences, how our ‘remembrances’ live in our body.

40 mins - Mark Wolynn’s story of his own inherited traumas.

43 mins - Recoding or rewiring our stress responses.

48 mins - Mark Wolynn’s workshops and resources.

Episode Notes:

Mark Wolynn (accent on second syllable) is the director of the Family Constellation Institute in San Francisco. He is a leading expert in the field of inherited family trauma. His book It Didn't Start With You: How Inherited Family Trauma Shapes Who We Are and How to End the Cycle is the winner of the 2016 Nautilus Book Award in psychology, and has been translated into 17 languages. His articles have appeared in Psychology Today, Mind Body Green, MariaShriver.com, Elephant Journal and Psych Central, and his poetry has been published in The New Yorker. 

Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

These personal special episodes have been truly cathartic for me in uncovering the vulnerable, raw emotions that I would have once repressed. In this episode I explore attachment styles, our needs and boundaries. For those of us with anxious attachment patterns, we often give up parts of ourselves in order to stay in relationship. But this doesn’t have to be our destiny, by connecting with our truth we have the power to rewrite our story completely.

1 min - The power of sharing and not repressing emotion.

5 mins - Having compassion for ourselves.

7 mins - Attachment styles and the research behind them.

14 mins - 10 seconds of courage to make a change in your life.

18 mins - If you have resentment, you have bad boundaries.

22 mins - What we do when we’re afraid of love.

27 mins - What is a breakup here to teach us?

29 mins - The breakup recovery course.

Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Many of us assume that we automatically feel our feelings, but unfortunately it’s not that simple. There are so many ways society encourages us to deny, avoid and repress emotions. Megan Jane Soutar is a self healing guide who I have had the honor of knowing as a friend and client for many years. As Megan describes in our interview, her transformation has taken her from someone who numbed emotion, to someone who intellectualized emotion, then finally to someone who could FEEL their emotions, fully. And in this transformation Megan has come to working with others in truly feeling their feelings too. 

Episode Highlights:

1 min - Marks introduction, dealing with hard emotions.

6 mins - Introduction to Megan Souter and her role as a self healing guide.

15 mins - Numbing emotions instead of feeling them.

17 mins - Megan’s experience of depression in childhood and living with mental illness within the family.

21 mins - Living within a disruptive household.

27 mins - Intellectualizing emotions to avoid feeling them.

31 mins - The safety to have your own experience and emotions.

39 mins - Megan’s experience of bullying throughout school.

46 mins - Living at your highest level of integrity. 

50 mins - Dealing with major life changes and coming off of medications.

59 mins - How Megan is using her story in her life and work today.

1hr 7 mins - Shaming our feelings.

1hr 18 mins - Stepping out of the story we have been assigned.

Episode Links:

Megan Jane Souter

Megan's Instagram

 

Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Technology has completely changed our world, but have we adapted? The online revolution has opened new avenues for addiction, social connection, disconnection and distress. There are millions of ways that we are marketed to become addicted to technology: the colours, sounds, styles, ‘likes’, games and more. We can change our relationship to technology, but it means going so much deeper than just setting rules or limits. This weeks episode is so important, I will admit I have struggled with my relationship to technology and have learned so much from Miles on how to change this.

Episode highlights:

1 min - Intro to episode by Mark Groves.

4 mins - Intro to Miles, how our bodies react to the online world in relation to our biological evolution.

9 mins - How social cues impact our wellbeing, both online and offline.

15 mins - How our relationship to the world can lose its sense of reality when we are so often online.

18 mins - The mentality of “just do it”.

22 mins - Mark’s anxiety around his phone.

27 mins - Changing our subconscious relationship to technology.

32 mins - How much time are we spending with screens per day?

34 mins - Digital detoxing.

41 mins - Taking control of technology instead of letting it control you.

47 mins - New avenues for connection online, a new world of choices.

52 mins - Being conscious of our online behavior, what is behind it?

Episode links:

Miles Rote’s Online Course: How to use social media to improve your wellbeing

Miles Rote - Self Mastery Teacher & Digital Wellness Coach, Miles illuminates the effects of modern technology on humanity & helps bridge the growing gap between our online world & our inner one through his platform, How To Become Yourself. 

Miles Rote's Website

Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

In this special episode I dive into my personal story of awakening and rejoining my heart. We all suffer betrayals, usually beginning in our childhood. And often in these betrayals, we learn to hide away parts of ourselves to survive and remain connected to those around us. This is my story of undoing those learnings and making the choice to claim my personal truth.

1:00 - Introduction to the Create The Love Bookclub.

3:00 - Mark's story of his engagement ending.

6:00 - How and why we end up hiding parts of ourselves.

9:00 - Making the choice to rejoin my heart.

12:00 - When I decided I was done with relationships.

15:00 - Give yourself the space to make mistakes, life is your playground. How to use your triggers.

20:00- Leaving too soon or staying too long?

22:00 - Relationships are the greatest determinant of health.

28:00 - The power of connection to self.

Episode Notes:

Join our Create The Love Bookclub!

Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Anahata Ananda is a wonderful friend of mine, she is also a healer, coach and guide and in this episode she walks us through the connection between spirituality and relationship. We go deep into understanding how a spiritual journey can lead us home to ourselves, and how the depth of our spiritual connection to ourself relates so much to our depth of connection with our partner. Anahata supports us in seeing how our life experiences can lift us toward faith and consciousness and out of the victim mentality. 

Episode Highlights:

1 mins - Mark’s introduction - the narratives we live and how we can break them.

8 mins - Book Club Introduction! Join the Create The Love Community.

11 mins - Anahata Ananda introduction. 

13 mins - Finding humour in the journey.

15 mins - The spiritual crisis, what is it? What tangents do we have to follow in order to find the path back to wholeness?

23 mins - How our journey relates to our chakras.

34 mins - Are you living out of fear or faith? What clues or messages are you not listening to? 

38 mins - When we put the burden of alignment on our partner. 

46 mins - How much baggage we all carry and how we can start to move through it.

50 mins - How we can step out of victim mentality and into consciousness.

55 mins - Unconditional love, the journey of coming home to unconditional love.

60 mins - Where are you still holding onto pain?

1hr 5mins - Finding the way to our truth is a process not an outcome, reclaiming your truth.

Episode Notes:

Free Chakra Balancing Audio Guide And Discount Codes!

Anahata Ananda blends the compassion and tenderness of an Angel and the wisdom and strength of a Shaman to guide profound journeys of core healing and spiritual awakening. As a Certified High-Performance Coach, Shamanic Healer and Soul Guide, Anahata has guided thousands of individuals through core life shifts, helping them to turn their life around and manifest the life of their dreams. Anahata is the host of the internationally acclaimed Shamangelic Healing Podcast. She is the founder of Shamangelic Healing, based in Sedona Arizona, where she offers high-performance coaching, inspirational workshops, group retreats, private healing sessions, and online courses. For more about Anahata's services, visit: Shamangelichealing.com

Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Mike Campbell is a men’s coach who specialises in helping men connect to their hearts in every aspect of life. In this episode we go deep in unpacking the messages men receive throughout their lives about love and commitment. Why do so many men seem to swim in the emotional shallow end of relationships? How do we deal with avoidance in relationship? AND, how can we change the narrative? Mike is as real as they come and a true friend, I am honored that he has shared this important and necessary conversation with us all.

Episode Highlights:

1 min - Introduction from Mark.

3 mins - The Breakup Recovery Course is now live.

5 mins - Mike Campbell introduction, what does coaching men involve? 

9 mins - Masculinity and the societal messages about being male and committing to relationships.

13 mins - The avoidance of relationship and commitment, the power of fear, what is below this fear?

20 mins - The invalidation of our emotional expression that so often occurs.

22 mins - What is stopping men from opening up? The impact of suffering in silence.

28 mins - Staying in the ‘safety’ of the superficial world.

32 mins - Mike’s engagement breakup story, how he went straight into business and how he started to open up.

39 mins - The necessity of hard conversation, are you willing to walk away if your partner can’t step forward?

43 mins - Dealing with a partner who ‘dances in the grey area’.

49 mins - Becoming ‘grounded’ with yourself and dealing with becoming grounded in relationship.

55 mins - How boundaries can help to create trust and truth in relationship.

Episode Notes:

Breakup Recovery Course

Mike Campbell Instagram

Mike Campbell is a men’s coach, author, and tragic wannabe professional stone fruit eater, Mike is the founder of The School of Personal Mastery – a group coaching program for men wanting to get their shit together and achieve greater success and happiness in their career, relationships, and life - without the guilt and hang-ups. 

Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands