The Mark Groves Podcast

Traver Boehm is the leader of the UNcivilized Men’s Movement. He coaches, leads, writes, speaks and trains men in the art of connection to self. This week I was honoured to hear Traver’s personal story, how his life completely transformed when he lost his marriage, his business partnership and in the process almost his mind. But far from it, he has come to champion the revolution for men to connect to their most authentic self and redefine their inner masculinity.

Episode Highlights

9 mins - The two ends of the masculinity continuum - The Marlboro Man versus the Nice Guy.

10 mins - Why do we stick it out with emotional robots? Everyone says they want a ‘conscious’ man, but are they actually ready?

14 mins - Integrating the masculine and feminine, boundaries, trust, sexuality and safety.

19 mins - When a woman can’t connect to her partner, when “she can’t feel you”.

30 mins - Therapy vs coaching, Traver’s first experience with couples therapy.

33 mins - Traver’s divorce and rockbottom breakthrough.

43 mins - Traver’s journey through the spiritual - The Year To Live Project.

55 mins - Breaking through to authenticity.

1hr 10mins - Traver's experience in hospices.

Episode Notes

Traver Boehm Instagram

The UNcivilized Movement

Make Pain Your Guru TED talk

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In this episode I speak with physician, chef, and integrative medicine expert, Dr. Robert Graham. Nowadays, there is more interest and awareness of the link between what we eat and our overall mental and physical wellness. But what does it really mean? What does our gut health mean for our mental health? What are the most important factors driving our health? Is food the ultimate medicine, or is there more to it? This week I jam with my favourite physician and good friend, Dr. Robert Graham to break it all down!

Episode Highlights:

8 mins - The relationship between nutrition and health.

12 mins - Evidence based medicine, what does it mean?

15 mins - The biggest medical crisis of our time? Holistic and integrative medicine? The role of the gut in overall health and wellbeing?

18 mins - The link between gut health and emotional health. How to high conflict relationships impact your overall health?

23 mins - Love and overall health.

28 mins - The most important factor in your health - who you surround yourself with.

32 mins - Fatigue - the most common illness seen today.

35 mins - The link between IBS and our mental wellness.

43 mins - Is food a kind of medicine?

5 mins - Vegetarian vs vegan.

Episode Notes:

Dr. Robert Graham is a Harvard trained physician, Board Certified in both Internal and Integrative Medicine and has over 15 years of clinical experience. Dr. Graham received his medical degree from the School of Medicine at Stony Brook University Medical Center, Stony Brook, NY and completed his residency in Internal Medicine at Lenox Hill Hospital in New York City, where he received the Community Service Award and subsequently the prestigious “Attending of the Year” award.  

Dr. Graham received a Master’s of Public Health from the Harvard School of Public Health while completing three additional fellowships in General Internal Medicine and Complementary and Integrative Medical Therapies at Harvard Medical School as well as Medical Education at Mount Auburn Hospital in Cambridge, Massachusetts. He also completed course-work in Mind/Body Medicine, Positive Psychology, Lifestyle Medicine, Culinary Medicine, Botanical and Traditional Chinese Medicine.  In 2018, Dr. Graham became one of less than twenty doctor/chef’s worldwide, as he obtained his culinary degree from the Natural Gourmet Institute.

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Raphael Cano is a love activist and warrior. He and I met very serendipitously in a coffee shop in NYC, and from that day onward our friendship has continued to evolve and expand. Raphael’s mission is to elevate humanity through universal truths and his own divine shine. Raphael’s friendship has been life-changing for me in so many ways, and in this episode I wanted to highlight how Raphael has supported me in having the space to understand how heteronormativity affects people in the LGBTQ+ community. Raphael walks us through his pathway to coming out, then later, to becoming a love warrior. His courage and energy is inspiring and I am so honoured that he shared his story with us for my podcast.

Episode Highlights:

4 mins - How Raphael and Mark first connected - Raphael’s first breakup.

9 mins - Intuition, gut feelings and following your joy. Is it all just love and light?

16 mins - Raphael’s life story - his first kiss, his story of coming out and his upbringing.

26 mins - The HighSchool Bully - and the projection and rejection of being gay.

33 mins - Raphael’s years of denial of his sexuality and the stress of living out of alignment.

39 mins - Raphael’s stepping into alignment, his first boyfriend.

42 mins - Raphael’s family’s response and finding his voice and confidence - how ‘Prayers for Bobby’ impacted him.

50 mins - The Stages of Coming Out - trauma, acceptance and authenticity.

55 mins - Elevating and changing, how dating changes and the dating pool changes.

64 mins - The equality that occurs in a mind, body and soul connected relationship.

70 mins - Come out as your highest self - whatever that might mean for you.

Episode links:

Raphael Cano Podcast

Raphael Cano Instagram

Find LGBTQ+ resource centres here!

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This week Sheleana Aiyana and I talk about Rising Woman. What does it mean to be a rising woman? How did Sheleana’s life lead her to this work? How does one begin to transform pain and trauma into self-compassion and healing? How can we start stepping into our power? If you have ever been impacted by childhood wounds (all of us) then this episode is for you.

Episode Highlights:

1min - Sheleana’s story - how did she come to do this work.

2.30mins - Denial as a coping mechanism and the wakeup call in betrayal and breakup.

4mins - Acceptance as the path toward healing.

6mins - Shea’s life path - the childhood wounds and traumas.

9mins - Transforming pain into healing.

11mins - What is shadow work? How does our shadow impact us and our relationships?

13mins - What are the most common coaching issues and patterns Sheleana sees?

17mins - How did trauma show up in Sheleana’s life?

23mins - When you are willing and ready to change, when are you sick of your own shit?

25mins - Victim mentality and letting go of it.

33mins - How do we start taking responsibility and stepping into our power?

37mins - Inner child work and self-soothing.

41mins - The difference between compassion and tolerance - the curse of the empath.

46mins - The process of healing, how does it work?

Podcast links:

Rising Woman Instagram

Sheleana Aiyana

More about Sheleana:

Rising Woman is led by Sheleana and her co-founder Heather, who are trained facilitators and guides of shadow-work, conscious relationship, breathwork, and tantric practices. Their current offering is the Heal Your Relationships Program. An 8-Week Journey into the Heart of Your Relationship Patterns. Sheleana is also a trained Doula, having gone through multiple certification programs, including a full-spectrum training with midwife Molly Dutton-Kenney.

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Dr. Julie Schwartz Gottman is one of the world’s most preeminent relationship researchers. Along with her husband Dr. John Gottman, they run the Gottman Institute, who have conducted many of the world’s most extensive studies on marital stability. This week we delve straight into trauma, including Dr. Gottman’s previous trauma work, the trauma of infidelity, and the Gottman therapy related to this trauma. Lastly, we discuss their latest book - Eight Dates: Essential Conversations for a Lifetime of Love. What is it that makes a good relationship and how do good relationships benefit us?

Podcast Highlights:

5mins - Julie’s background in trauma research and her journey to the Gottman Institute.

14mins - Trauma, what is it? What does it do to us? What does it feel like?

21mins - The healing power of connection.

25mins - The Gottman’s couples conflict resolution approach - what questions do you need to ask your partner?

32mins - Cheating, infidelity and the trauma in betrayal.

36mins - Therapy for infidelity, the three-stage process.

41mins - What often leads to infidelity?

50mins - Eight Dates, the Gottman’s newest book on dating and relationships in their initial phases.

Podcast Details:

The Gottman Institute

Eight Dates - Essential Conversations for a Lifetime of Love

The Gottman Institute Instagram

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Are you looking to change and grow? Or are you committed to repeating your patterns and limits in life? So often we say we want growth in life - and yet we don’t make the choices aligned with that. AND so often other people want to limit our growth! This week James Silvas and Mark discuss the ways we limit ourselves in love, career, life and everything in between. Why do we limit ourselves from growth and success - why do other people limit us - and how can we stop it? This week we unpack it all!

Podcast Highlights:

8mins - Mark’s one night stand history!

10mins - Everything you want is in your discomfort/ stretch zone.

13mins - Self talk and when we self sabotage with our internal talk.

15mins - When Mark left the predictability of a ‘stable’ job and career path.

25mins - Are you accountable for your choices, or are you blocking yourself?

31mins - How we stay committed to our misery and stories of the past.

35mins - What makes people successful? - Getting past the boxes you have put yourself in.

45mins - How other people might want to limit us and how to look out for it.

51mins - Dealing with uncertainty in life, how we try to control.

57mins - Confronting pain and discomfort, why is it so hard?

60mins - How to change the way you think - how to change your patterns - how to change your life!

Podcast details:

James Silvas is a Peak Performance Coach and Mental Training Specialist with over 13,000 hours of training experience working with high performing teams at Nike, MGM & ADT. He has studied under 4x World Renowned Mental Performance Coach Dr. Mark Guadagnoli while attaining his degree in Kinesiology at UNLV. He has worked with over 6,000+ people on developing/strengthening the mindset that will take individuals/teams to the next level.

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This is 20 minutes jam packed with the most juicy breakup content you could ever need. Mark gets straight into the heart of it -- because this time effing hurts. It doesn’t matter whether you wanted the ending or not, you are hurting and we have all been there. Mark walks alongside you and helps you understand the hardest parts, the most painful parts, and explains to you that this rock bottom can be an anchor and a beginning of new possibilities for a deeper and truer connection to ourself and others. Get ready to rise.

The Breakup Recovery Course Sign up Here Now!

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This week we have Mark and Amy Young yelling about all things emotional unavailability! Every person has either been caught, is currently caught or will one day be caught in the spell that unavailable people cast over us. We explore why we get caught in the ‘spell’ of unavailable people. How Mark and Amy have both been caught themselves, and how can get unstuck from thinking you’ve found ‘love’ when in reality all you’ve found is pain and suffering. This week is the slap in the face you’ve been waiting for, do not miss it.

Episode highlights:

5 mins - ‘Bottom feeder bro’ behaviour, why do we want the men who don’t want us?

7 mins - When the body codes drama as chemistry - breaking the spell of choosing someone who is not choosing you.

9 mins - When people are lying to you in dating.

13 mins - Amy’s personal story of the ‘bottom feeder bro’ - how she was going to ‘fix’ the ‘one’.

17 mins - Codependent no more - why Amy read it - why you should too.

25 mins - How you can break the spell.

30 mins - The 5 love languages - what when we have toxic love languages?

38 mins - Why we make excuses for other people.

39 mins - Don’t be afraid to have the hard conversations!

42 mins - When to communicate the issue or self-soothe?

50 mins - What energy are you bringing to dating - to Tinder?

52 mins - Are you ‘picky’, or not picky enough?

55 mins - Are there enough men? What’s going on with men and their emotions?

Podcast links:

Amy Young YouTube

Create The Love Live in San Fran!

Create The Love Live in LA!

Create The Love Live in San Diego!

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What are boundaries, why are they so hard? Why do we suck at boundaries with parents, exes, co-parents? Why don’t we just unfriend or block people that have hurt us? What is stopping us from letting go?! How the HECK do we do boundaries with our co-parent exes!? We tackle it ALL this week and nothing is off the table! Dr. Alexandra Solomon takes on the hardest of subjects with wisdom and compassion, if you haven't yet read her book find it in the show notes below.

Episode Highlights:

3min: Boundaries, how to deal with boundary violations.

5min: Cultural differences in boundaries.

7min: Emotions and boundaries, childhood and boundaries.

14min: How do we know when a boundary is violated?

16min: Personal empowerment vs relational empowerment.

18min: Types of boundaries, secure vs porous vs rigid.

24min: Vulnerability cycles - what the heck are they?

27min: Voicing and breaking out of a vulnerability cycle.

30min: How to deliver a boundary.

31min: Tricky boundaries - exes! Why don’t we block them or delete them?

37min: Why don’t we just break contact - are we being kind to them or only to ourselves?

39min: BOUNDARIES AND COPARENTING 101

44min: How to hold space for your child - what impacts your child the most during a breakup?

49min: Types of families.

Show Notes:

http://www.dralexandrasolomon.com/

http://www.dralexandrasolomon.com/book/

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Bryan Reeves is our guest this week and I am so excited to introduce you to a man who has truly lived a life of adventure and exploration. Bryan and I discuss his journey, from hyper-masculine army careerist, to wandering the Earth, and later to being a relationship and life coach. Bryan talks us through the journey that broke his heart, opened his heart and totally renewed his joy for life. Bryan and Mark go DEEP on all things masculinity this week. Why did Bryan’s girlfriends always end up frustrated and angry with him? Why do men follow Instagram models and damage their relationships with online behaviour? How can childhood emotional neglect - even the most subtle forms - play out in our adult lives? And what about our triggers, how can triggers from previous relationships or previous lives continue to impact our current partners. Mark and Bryan discuss the challenges that every couple is bound to face.

Episode highlights:

6:00 - The journey from army career to relationship coach.

9:30 - Finding the subject that ‘lit’ me up

10:30 - Why are the women I am in relationship with always angry at me?

15:00 - Instagram and the online world affecting relationships.

22:00 - Childhood emotional neglect - how can the most subtle forms affect our adult life?

28:00 - What triggers us in our parents, what does this reflect in us?

49:00 - Therapy, coaches and relationships, the value of working with someone from outside of our relationship.

51:00 - Triggers from past, childhood and their influence in current situations.

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