Chances are, there’s something in your life you feel deeply ashamed about—something you’ve never told anyone, something you can’t even admit to yourself. In this episode, we go deep into the emotion we all experience but almost no one wants to talk about: shame. Where it comes from, why it’s so powerful, how it screws up our lives—and more importantly, how to deal with it.

We cover the biology of shame, the psychology, the evolutionary roots, and how modern life (especially the internet) completely messes with our shame systems. We talk about healthy vs. toxic shame, how it shows up in addiction, relationships, perfectionism, and self-sabotage, and why most of us either try to hide from it or end up being controlled by it. You’ll also hear from members of my team about how shame shaped their lives in surprising ways.

As always, this episode is brutally honest, deeply researched, and sprinkled with a few bad jokes. But more than anything, I hope it gives you the awareness—and the tools—to start facing whatever it is you’ve been avoiding. Because you can’t outrun your shame. But you can learn to live with it.

We also put together a free companion guide for this episode with all the takeaways, references, and tools to help you get your sh*t together once and for all. Download it here: https://solvedpodcast.com/shame

Ready to stop listening to podcasts and actually start taking action? Join the Solved Community, a group of like-minded people who are taking small steps every day to make big changes in their lives: https://findmomentum.com/shame

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Chapters

00:00:00 Introduction

00:04:35 Chapter 1: Shame's Hidden Architecture

00:14:38 Chapter 2: Key Definitions

00:18:32 Distinguishing Shame from Guilt

00:20:49 State Shame vs. Trait Shame

00:21:47 Shame vs. Embarrassment and Humiliation

00:24:03 Shame, Trauma, and their Interrelationship

00:25:14 Chapter 3: The Neurobiology of Shame

00:29:56 The Shame Spiral

00:36:04 The Learning Paradox of Shame

00:44:12 Chapter 4: The Shame Compass

00:47:33 Personal Experiences with Shame

00:49:21 Workaholism as a Coping Mechanism

00:59:13 The Allure of Shamelessness

01:01:15 Chapter 5: Individual, Familial, & Cultural Sources of Shame

01:11:05 Geographical Impact on Shame

01:13:08 Cultural Values and Shame

01:14:35 How the Greater Culture Shapes Shame

01:26:12 Chapter 6: Digital Technology & Shame 2.0

01:28:02 The Digital Divide

01:31:05 The Relationship Between Technology and Anxiety

01:33:55 Protection Strategies

01:39:21 Chapter 7: Developmental Stages of Shame

01:40:19 Understanding the Origin of Shame

01:42:57 The Role of Parenting in Shame Development

01:56:49 Chapter 8: How Therapy Transformed Our Understanding of Shame

02:01:06 Carl Rogers and the Safety Revolution

02:07:31 Albert Ellis and the Cognitive Revolution

02:11:58 The Influence of Albert Ellis and Carl Rogers

02:13:31 The Emergence of Reparenting and Inner Child Work

02:17:18 The Rise of Internal Family System

02:20:24 Brene Brown's Work on Shame

02:27:59 Chapter 9: Tools to Address Your Shame

02:40:19 Stoic Principles for Perspective

02:47:05 Perspective Shifting Techniques

02:58:26 Chapter 10: Tuning Your Shame System

03:10:39 Recognizing Unsustainable Shame Patterns

03:16:28 Kristen Neff's Self-Compassion Framework

03:25:33 Understanding Shame as Obsession and Resentment

03:29:53 Overcoming Shame and Personal Growth

03:31:39 Takeaways fr...

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Everyone’s obsessed with being happy—but what if that obsession is the very thing making us miserable? In this episode of Solved, Drew and I explore what actually makes us feel good—and why most of us are chasing it in all the wrong ways.

We unpack what philosophers like Aristotle and the Buddha got right thousands of years ago—and how modern science is just now catching up. We talk about hedonic vs. eudaimonic happiness, why more money and status don’t necessarily move the needle, and why most self-help advice completely misses the point. Happiness isn’t something you get. It’s a side effect of doing the right things for the right reasons.

So, if you're tired of chasing "more" and ready to actually feel a little less miserable, this one’s for you.

We also put together a free companion guide for this episode with all the takeaways, references, and tools to help you get your sh*t together once and for all. Download it here: https://solvedpodcast.com/happiness

Ready to stop listening to podcasts and actually start taking action? Join Momentum, a community of like-minded people who are taking small steps every day to make big changes in their lives: https://findmomentum.com/happiness

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Chapters:

0:00 Introduction

10:42 Chapter 1: The Origins of Human Happiness

11:04 Hedonia vs Eudaimonia

15:11 Epicureanism

23:20 Eastern Perspectives

27:15 Modern Happiness Research

29:30 Chapter 2: The WEIRD Problem: When Happiness Research Goes West

40:47 Chapter 3: The Three Components of Happiness

46:44 Hedonic Adaptation

59:53 Chapter 4: What Does—and Doesn't—Make Us Happy

1:00:35 Drugs and Alcohol

1:07:23 Sex

1:15:09 Money

1:23:10 Fame and Status

1:37:26 Geography and Environment

1:39:51 Love and Relationships

1:41:19 Friendships

1:44:04 Having Children

1:49:10 The Experiencing vs. Remembering Self

1:52:53 Chapter 5: Baseline vs. Circumstantial vs. Intentional Happiness

1:53:35 Genetics

1:59:50 Circumstances

2:02:16 Intentional Actions

2:06:13 Relationships

2:10:51 Gratitude

2:13:13 Altruism

2:18:47 Experiences vs. Stuff

2:22:12 Implementing Intentional Happiness

2:24:21 Chapter 6: Don't Pursue Happiness; Remove Unhappiness

2:29:05 Social Comparison

2:31:30 Maximizers vs. Satisficers

2:34:19 Chapter 7: How Happiness Changes Across the Lifespan

2:51:44 Chapter 8: Happiness Myths

3:04:47 Chapter 9: The 80/20 Guide to Happiness

3:16:22 Lessons Learned

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What are emotions? Why do we feel anything at all? And more importantly — can we actually get better at feeling?

In this episode, Drew and I dive headfirst into what might be the hardest question in all of psychology: what the actual f**k are emotions? We break down the biology, neuroscience, evolution, culture, and even language that shape how we feel — and why we often don’t understand what the hell is going on inside us. From ancient philosophy to brain scans, this is a deep (and occasionally weird) look into the emotional chaos that makes us human.

We unpack everything from the origins of emotional intelligence (spoiler: it might be BS) to the science of emotional regulation, attachment styles, and the sneaky ways your culture wires your emotional defaults. Along the way, we explore why some relationships make you feel like a better person while others drain the life out of you, and how trauma, genetics, and childhood with your ability to keep it together.

But this episode isn’t just about understanding emotions — it’s about learning how to work with them. And we give you a full emotional toolkit: a set of evidence-based tools to help you manage your emotions, build better relationships, feel more motivated, and yes — even feel more confident in yourself in the process.

We also put together a free companion guide for this episode with all the takeaways, references, and tools to help you get your sh*t together once and for all. Download it here: https://solvedpodcast.com/emotions

Ready to stop listening to podcasts and actually start taking action? Join Momentum, a community of like-minded people who are taking small steps every day to make big changes in their lives: https://findmomentum.com/emotions

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Chapters:

0:00:00 Introduction

0:04:47 Chapter 1: What Are Emotions?

0:14:04 The Emotional Brain

0:22:03 Neurotransmitters

0:34:25 Evolution of Emotions

0:39:53 How Life Experiences Shape Emotional Regulation

0:48:41 Conclusion on What are Emotions

0:49:45 Chapter 2: How Culture Influences Our Emotions

0:55:44 Vietnam Bike Story

1:00:05 Your Culture Trains You to Want Certain Feelings

1:06:00 Culture Decides Whether Suppression is a Superpower or a Liability

1:07:56 Paradox of Emotional Conformity

1:16:36 How Language Shapes What You Feel

1:29:23 Emotional Complexity

1:36:25 Your Emotions Are Social Currency

1:43:00 Conclusion to Culture defines our emotions

1:44:08 Chapter 3: Historical and Philosophical Traditions on Emotions

1:57:21 Modern Culture

1:59:00 Chapter 4: The Four Schools of Emotional Regulation

2:00:56 The Heart

2:08:55 The Head

2:18:37 The Soul

2:28:50 The Body

2:36:23 The Integrated Toolkit

2:48:25 Chapter 5: Brilliant or Bullshit: Emotional Intelligence

2:57:31 Chapter 6: Relationships and Emotional Regulation

3:09:54 Attachment Theory

3:27:29 Toxic Relationship

3:36:49 Building Emotional Compatibility

3:51:24 Conclusion Relationships

3:57:24 Chapter 7: 80/20

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In this second episode of Solved, Drew and I go deep into the psychology, history, and science of procrastination. From Plato and Aristotle to Freud and modern research, we break down why we delay the things that matter most—and how to actually stop.This isn't a “just set a timer” productivity talk. We’re diving deep into shame, identity, perfectionism, culture, and why procrastination is ultimately a *skill issue*, not a moral failure. We cover things like:- How humans have thought about putting things off for over 2000 years- The real reason you avoid the most important tasks in your life- Why “I work better under pressure” is (usually) BS- Why self-compassion is actually more motivating than guilt- Tons of practical, research-backed strategies you can start using todayAnd much, much, much more.

We also put together a free companion guide with all the takeaways, references, and tools to help you get your sh*t together once and for all. Download it here : https://solvedpodcast.com/procrastination

Ready to stop listening to podcasts and actually start taking action? Join Momentum, a community of like-minded people who are taking small steps every day to make big changes in their lives: https://findmomentum.com/procrastination

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Chapters

00:00 Introduction

01:05 Episode Roadmap

08:20 What exactly is procrastination?

15:50 Plato's Thoughts on Procrastination

24:07 The Buddhist & Confucian Views on Procrastination

26:19 Aristotle's Take on Procrastination

33:50 Christianity and Procrastination

46:53 Self-Compassion and Procrastination

58:45 The Reformation and Procrastination

1:04:25 Freud's Influence on Psychology

1:06:40 Pleasure Principle and Reality Principle

1:08:13 Id, Ego, and Superego

1:10:26 Defense Mechanisms

1:17:20 Adopting Habits as Identity

1:23:05 The Influence of Childhood and Parenting on Procrastination

1:33:42 Behaviorism

1:41:21 Environmental Design

1:46:10 Thriving Under Pressure: A Critique

1:52:10 Expectation, Pressure, and Procrastination

1:54:06 Critique of Behaviorism

1:59:20 Time Management

2:07:33 Knowledge vs Emotion in Procrastination

2:16:43 Mark and Drew's Personal Productivity Systems

2:20:37 Deep Work and Task Management

2:23:12 Productivity System for ADHD

2:29:26 Productive Procrastination

2:34:22 Importance of Task Completion

2:36:51 Existentialism and Purpose

2:44:21 Purpose and Motivation

2:53:40 Temporal Motivation Theory

2:57:39 Limitations of Temporal Motivation Theory

2:59:22 The Role of Technology in Procrastination

3:07:10 ...

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Welcome to the first episode of the Solved Podcast. Today, we are solving your values.

Over eight years ago, I wrote The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck—a book that, underneath all the swearing and irreverence, was really about one thing: values. What do you care about? What’s actually worth your time, your energy, your life?

So in this kickoff episode of SOLVED, Drew and I are going deep into why your values are the foundation of everything—your happiness, your mental health, your relationships, your sense of meaning—and why so many of us today feel so lost.

We break down the difference between chasing cheap dopamine hits and building real fulfillment, why not all values are created equal, how to figure out what your true values are, how to change your values, how to start living out your values more fully, and how values silently shape your decisions and relationships every day. If you’ve ever felt stuck, directionless, or like you’re living someone else’s life, this episode is the wake-up call you need. It’s time to stop drifting through life and start giving a fck about the right things. Forget the rest.

Welcome to SOLVED.

Get the Values companion guide for this episode: https://solvedpodcast.com/values

Ready to stop listening to podcasts and actually start taking action? Join the Momentum, a community of like-minded people who are taking small steps every day to make big changes in their lives: https://findmomentum.com

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Chapters

00:00 Welcome to SOLVED

07:47 Episode Roadmap

09:31 CHAPTER 1: What are Values?

10:26 Characteristics of Values

14:23 Values vs. Psychological Needs vs. Preferences

23:06 Schwartz's Values Wheel

30:36 Instrumental and Terminal Values

32:15 Hierarchy of Values

38:35 Values Conflict

42:35 Carol Ryff's Six Dimensions of Psychological Well-being

57:01 Aristotle's Golden Mean as Virtue

1:05:01 CHAPTER 2: Values and Your Relationships

1:22:56 The Clash of Values in Relationships

1:30:29 Identifying and Navigating Values in Relationships

1:34:40 Understanding Compatibility Through Values

1:37:25 CHAPTER 3: Where Do Values Come From?

1:38:20 Margaret Mead's Cultural Relativism

1:47:55 Mary Douglas's and the Grid-Group Framework

1:56:20 Jonathan Haidt's Moral Foundations Theory

2:09:26 The Allegory of the Taco Truck

2:14:34 CHAPTER 4: Identifying Your Core Values

2:16:58 Thought Experiments to Find Your Values

2:32:16 The Instrumental Value of Golf

2:41:45 The Role of Trauma in Value Change

2:48:53 CHAPTER 5: How to Change Your Values

2:50:44 Kazimierz Dabrowski and Positive Disintegration

3:03:22 On Cults and Cognitive Dissonance

3:16:26 Self-Confrontation and Value Change

3:18:34 Charlie Munger's Maxim: Incentives and Behavior

3:21:56 CHAPTER 6: Lessons and Takeaways

3:36:30 T...

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New podcast launches May 1st! We'll be releasing on this same feed, so all you have to do is stay subscribed to this channel and you'll get all the new episodes as they come out.

***

After more than 70 episodes and 30 million downloads, I’ve decided to shut down The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck Podcast. Yeah, I know—sounds a little crazy. But the truth is, I wasn’t having fun anymore. The guest treadmill, the pressure to play nice, the temptation to chase clicks instead of meaning—it all started to feel fake. So, I’m pulling the plug.

BUT—I’m not going away. I’m launching something new. It’s called Solved—a no-ads, no-guests, deep-dive podcast where each episode tackles one major life topic and breaks it down thoroughly. Think: values, emotions, procrastination—done right, from every angle, with real research and clear implementation. It’s the podcast I wish already existed. So I’m making it. First episode drops May 1 st!

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I’ve got a special episode for you today. I sat down in person with my longtime friend and first-ever podcast guest, Derek Sivers. We haven’t recorded live before, and honestly, it shows—in the best way. It’s raw, weird, and filled with the kind of conversations we usually when we’re just hanging out together.

We dig into Derek’s new book, Useful, Not True, and the big idea behind it: that our beliefs don’t need to be true to be helpful. That spins off into everything from remixing creative influences (metal + Dixieland jazz, anyone?) to why most podcasts—including mine—have gotten painfully predictable. We talk artistic reinvention, Bob Dylan, Bowie, Miles Davis, why most “thought leaders” are just regurgitating each other’s ideas, and why I'm ending the podcast as you know it—and what’s next!

We also dive into the deeper stuff: the emotional power of belief, authenticity vs. performative vulnerability, therapy culture, and why sometimes the most liberating thing you can do is reject what everyone else thinks is necessary—relationships, kids, all of it.

This was one of the most honest, meandering, and creatively energizing conversations I’ve had in a while. If you’re into big questions, unconventional ideas, and the occasional musical metaphor, this one’s for you.

Derek’s new book- Useful, Not True: https://www.amazon.com/Useful-Not-True-Derek-Sivers-ebook/dp/B0D86K4XF5

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In this episode, Drew and I dive into some of the biggest beliefs we’ve shifted over the years—and what it actually looks like to change your mind.

We talk about Drew’s evolving views on religion, why I’m way less convinced that people are as changeable as we like to believe, and why I think trauma might be getting a little too much airtime in the self-help world.

We also get into the loneliness epidemic, the quiet power of community, and why so much of “personal growth” isn’t about becoming someone new—it’s about learning to work with who you already are.

Leave a comment below about what you’ve changed your mind about—and enjoy.

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Chapters

00:00 Intro: What we've changed our minds about

02:59 Religion

07:40 Where does belief change start?

17:08 Does Mark stand by his books?

18:06 Why change is so hard

30:27 Trauma doesn't determine destiny

37:52 Cautious optimism

Theme song: Icarus Lives by Periphery , used with permission from Periphery.

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Lewis Howes is one of the most successful podcasters of all time—12 years, nearly 1,800 episodes, and countless interviews with world-class performers. But what’s even more interesting is how his definition of success has evolved over the years. In this conversation, Lewis opens up about shifting from a hyper-competitive, “be number one” mentality to a more collaborative, impact-driven approach.

We also dive into emotional regulation, the surprising ways our relationship with money affects our lives, and why most people either idolize or demonize wealth. Oh, and Lewis casually mentions he’s training to compete in the Olympics in his 40s. No big deal. This episode is packed with insights on what it really means to live a fulfilling, abundant life—without losing your mind in the process.

Get 10% off health services at Marek Health: https://marekhealth.com/idgaf

Lewis's new book, Make Money Easy: https://www.amazon.com/Make-Money-Easy-Financial-Freedom/dp/1401993931

Lewis's podcast, The School of Greatness: https://lewishowes.com/sogpodcast/

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Resilience isn’t just about gritting your teeth and enduring pain—it’s about managing the stories you tell yourself. In this episode, I break down why most people get resilience wrong and how mastering the “second arrow” is the real key to bouncing back. We dive into post-traumatic growth, why caring about something bigger than yourself makes you stronger, and how focusing on what you can control changes everything.

We also talk about AI—how it’s not here to save or destroy humanity, but it is going to change everything. We look at how AI is already transforming creative and knowledge-based jobs, why you should be using it right now, and what you can do to stay ahead. Plus, we tackle the ultimate question: Can people change? That three-word question is lot more complex than it seems. Check it out.

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Chapters:

0:00 Mark feels the AGI—Drew does not

3:42 The Fck of the Week: Resilience

25:48 Brilliant or Bullsht: AI will doom/save us all

46:27 Q&A: Can people change?

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