Unwineding

The million-dollar question is: why do we love the way we do? I’m no expert, but today’s guest is.

In this episode, I’m joined by clinical psychologist and attachment theory expert Dr. Morgan Anderson to talk about how anxious attachment, avoidant attachment, and disorganized attachment shape the way we connect, communicate, and choose partners.

We talk about why you may feel drawn to emotionally unavailable people, why healthy relationships can sometimes feel uncomfortable, and how past experiences can influence your dating patterns more than you realize.

We also discuss how to move toward secure attachment, how to stop repeating unhealthy relationship dynamics, and how to create more emotionally available, stable, and fulfilling relationships.

We also talk about:

• the difference between anxious, avoidant, and disorganized attachment styles
• why you might feel anxious in dating even when someone is treating you well
• why emotionally unavailable partners can feel familiar
• how attachment styles develop through relationships and life experiences
• how to recognize unhealthy dating patterns
• how to stop self-sabotaging relationships
• why secure love can feel unfamiliar at first
• the role of the nervous system in relationships
• why you don’t need to be “fully healed” before dating
• how to build secure attachment over time
• how to communicate your needs in relationships
• how to stop overanalyzing early dating situations
• how attachment theory can help you understand your relationship choices

& so much more. As always, take whatever you need from our conversation and leave the rest. LOVE YOU. x

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File this episode under: the dating advice we probably need but don’t always want to hear.

Alyssa Pettinato, host of the Missjudged Podcast, is on Unwineding today and we’re getting into the chaos that is modern dating: from being the “chill girl,” to unrealistic expectations, to whether we’re actually making dating harder than it needs to be.

We talk about why dating feels so confusing right now, why so many women feel burnt out by modern dating culture, and how to balance having high standards without unintentionally limiting yourself.

We also get into how to screen men early, what “dating intentionally” actually means (and why Alyssa is OVER this statement), and how to stop overcomplicating relationships before they even begin. Oh, and how we love a short king.

We also talk:

• why modern dating feels so complicated right now
• the problem with trying to be the “chill girl”
• dating standards vs unrealistic expectations
• how to screen men early in dating
• what “dating intentionally” actually means
• how to know what you want in a partner
• why dating apps can feel draining
• how to have more fun dating again
• mindset shifts for healthier relationships
• navigating avoidant partners and emotional availability
• why dating should feel exciting, not exhausting
• how to stay optimistic about love and relationships

& more.

As always, take whatever you need from our conversation and leave the rest.

LOVE YOU. x

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He’s not your soulmate if you have to lower your standards, I promise.

It’s just us this week—and we’re unpacking the subtle but powerful difference between being kept around and being chosen— and why the two can feel almost identical in the beginning (which is incredibly mind-f*cking, pardon my French).

We talk about why consistency alone isn’t enough, how situationships create emotional attachment without real security, and why feeling confused in dating is often the biggest sign that something isn’t fully aligned.

Because the truth is: someone can enjoy you, care about you, and still not have the capacity to choose you (which is insane). And when that happens, the most important question becomes…why are we accepting dynamics that make us question ourselves?

If you’ve ever found yourself wondering where you stand, overanalyzing mixed signals, or feeling like something is almost right but not quite… this episode is for you.

We’re also exploring:
• the emotional difference between attention and commitment
• why clarity is one of the biggest green flags in dating
• the role of capacity in relationships
• why confusion is not a normal stage of a healthy relationship
• how to stop overriding your intuition
• why being “almost chosen” can feel so painful
• choosing self-respect over uncertainty

You deserve clarity. You deserve effort. You deserve someone who is certain about you. And you deserve someone who would never risk losing you. OKAYYYYY?!

As per ujje, take whatever resonates & leave the rest. LOVE YOU. x

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We talk so much about intention and communication in romantic relationships, but our friendships deserve the same amount of effort.

My beautiful girl (and Unwineding Podcast regular), Angie Lassman, is back and we’re doing what we do best: talking about female friendships.

We’re exploring how the love languages show up in friendship (vs. romantic relationships) and why understanding how your friends feel loved can completely change the way you show up for each other. We also talk about the importance of communication, navigating misunderstandings, and why friendships deserve the same level of care and intention we often reserve for romantic relationships.

And we’re circling back on a challenge we gave each other last summer—on being less avoidant (lol). Angie worked on her avoidance with friends (and killed it), and I worked on my avoidance with men (and didn’t exactly kill it). But we live and we learn.

We also chat about:

• love languages in friendship and how they show up differently than in romantic relationships
• why understanding your friends’ love languages can strengthen your friendship
• how to communicate better in friendships
• asking for what you need from your friends
• why healthy friendships require effort, intention, and communication
• navigating misunderstandings and conflict in friendship
• how we’re working on our people-pleasing tendencies
• why many of us struggle to voice our needs in relationships
• how small acts of care can make friends feel loved and supported
• the importance of nurturing female friendships
• why strong friendships are built (they don’t just exist)

As always, I hope there’s something in this conversation you needed today—take whatever resonates and leave the rest. See you next week. x

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Why do we glamorize not caring? Why are we so embarrassed to be seen trying?

In the second installment of our DEBRIEF series, we’re exploring the cultural obsession with being effortless and why pretending you don’t care about something might actually be holding you back.

From dating advice and relationships to careers, confidence, and personal growth, we’re constantly told to play it cool: don’t try too hard, don’t text first, don’t show how much you care. But the truth is that the most meaningful things in life—deep friendships, healthy relationships, successful careers, and personal development—are built through effort, intention, and perseverance (not magic. and most DEF not by pretending you don’t care).

If you’ve ever wondered whether struggle means something isn’t meant for you, or felt embarrassed for wanting something badly, this conversation will shift how you think about effort, discipline, and success.

We’re debriefing:

• why society glamorizes effortlessness and natural talent
• the pressure to appear unbothered in dating and relationships
• why trying hard isn’t embarrassing (and why we think it is)
• the difference between forcing something vs. putting in effort
• why hard doesn’t mean something isn’t meant for you
• the psychology of grit, perseverance, and skill development
• how discipline and consistency shape success more than talent
• the fear of visible effort and public failure (especially on social media)
• why the most meaningful things in life require intentional effort
• a closing journaling prompt for self-reflection and personal growth

As always, take whatever resonates & leave the rest. And please remember: nothing meaningful is built by pretending you don’t care.

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No one teaches you how to lose a parent. And no one teaches you what to say to someone who has.
In this episode of Unwineding, Destinee and I talk about what it actually means to navigate grief—especially after losing a parent. We open up about losing our dads, the identity shift that comes with that kind of loss, and the strange, quiet ways grief shows up long after everyone else thinks you’re “okay.”
Because sometimes grief is so loud.
But sometimes it’s subtle.
Sometimes it hits you months later on a random Wednesday.

And then there’s the other side of it:
What do you do when someone you love is grieving?
How do you support someone coping with loss when you’re afraid of saying the wrong thing?
How do you show up when you can’t fix it?

In this conversation, we talk:
• what navigating grief really looks like after losing a parent
• how coping with loss can reshape your identity
• why grief doesn’t follow a timeline
• the unexpected emotional waves of grieving
• what actually helps when you’re grieving—and what doesn’t
• how to support someone who is grieving
• what to say to someone grieving (and what to avoid)
• how to be there for someone navigating loss without trying to solve it
• why grief doesn’t end—it evolves

This episode is for anyone who is grieving a parent, coping with loss, or trying to figure out how to support someone who is grieving.
Because grief is universal (unfortunately) we will all experience loss, but the way we carry it is deeply personal. So if you’re navigating grief right now, I hope this makes you feel seen and understood (we truly feel you).
If you love someone who is grieving, I hope this gives you clarity and confidence in how to show up for them (because we need you).
And remember, sometimes support isn’t about having perfect words.
It’s just about staying.

Welcome to a conversation about love, loss, and the kind of grief that changes you forever.

Watch this episode on Youtube

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This episode is a case of the blind leading the blind. Lauren takes an attachment style quiz to find out what her style is (spoiler alert: we were wrong) and we talk about what we're learning about dating in our 30s, how attachment styles actually show up in real life (not just in psychology books), and why we both might need a little therapy (but like, who doesn't?).

We get into anxious vs. avoidant vs. disorganized attachment, what it means to “earn” secure attachment, and why the smallest shift in texting cadence can send your nervous system into a SPIRAL. We talk about overanalyzing, needing reassurance, taking space personally, and the story your brain makes up when you really like someone.

If you’ve ever wondered why you react the way you do in dating or why intimacy can feel both exciting and terrifying—this conversation will probably (hopefully) feel a little too relatable. As always, take whatever resonates and leave the rest. LOVE YOU. x

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What if I told you that you could go through a breakup with someone you thought you were going to marry... and not be heartbroken? And what if I told you that you actually CAN have it all—the career, the standards, the dream relationship—without settling or shrinking yourself?

Emma Paige, host of the Too Much Podcast, is back on Unwineding this week, and this is exactly what we’re getting into.

How do you not self-abandon in a relationship? How do you walk away from someone who's great on paper but you just don’t feel excited about it? How do you actually enjoy being single instead of treating it like a waiting room? And how does raising your standards actually make dating MORE fun, not harder?

In this episode we cover:

If you're single, heartbroken, or just trying to figure out what you deserve—this episode is gonna hit different. This conversation is equal parts therapy session and pep talk, and I promise you're gonna walk away feeling so empowered.

We talk about what happens when you stop dating out of fear and start dating with clarity—why some breakups feel devastating while others feel like relief, and how building a full life actually changes who you attract. This episode is about self-worth, boundaries, and the mindset shift that leads to healthier relationships and real commitment. As always, take whatever resonates & leave the rest. LOVE YOU. x

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The goal? To become disgustingly educated. And happier. And sexier.
I’m sharing a few really simple things—the habits, routines, and ways of thinking—that are helping me get there. As always, take whatever resonates & leave the rest. LOVE YOU. x

Everything I mentioned in this episode:

*Crown Maple Syrup Madagascar Vanilla (I got mine from Whole Foods)

*Espresso Cups

*Milk Frothing Pitchers

*Lola Blanket

*Disposable Face Towels (I have these on subscription)

*Acrylic Face Towel Holder

*Workout Sets

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Class is in session, ladies—Niko Emanuilidis, host of The Daddy Academy, is here with your complete guide to dating in 2026.

We’re getting into what actually makes a man want to commit, why dating feels so confusing right now, and how to actually attract the relationship you’ve always wanted. Niko shares what men are truly thinking in the early stages of dating, how to get approached more IRL, and the biggest mistakes women are making. We explore why you attract who you are—and why you might be attracting emotionally unavailable partners (and how to stop).

Ultimately, this is your guide to shifting your patterns, dating from a place of true confidence, and raising your standards to attract a healthy, beautiful relationship.

We also cover:

why men pull away in dating

how to know if a man is serious about you

masculine vs. feminine energy in dating

what your social media says about you (& do guys notice?)

tangible ways to get approached in the wild

how to shift your mindset to confidently enjoy dating

questions you need to ask in early dating

how men ultimately decide on a relationship

how to attract better partners

understanding your preferences vs. dealbreakers

Whether you’re dating, single, healing, or in a situationship you’re lowkey tired of explaining, this episode will help you understand dating dynamics and feel more empowered in your choices.

As always, take whatever resonates & leave the rest. LOVE YOU. x

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