Unwineding

You can have plenty of friends and still feel deeply lonely.

This week, I’m Unwineding with Dr. Elisabeth Crain to talk about the friendship depth gap: the space between having people in your life and actually feeling deeply known, seen, and connected to them.

We’re talking about why adult friendship can feel harder than dating, why the friendships we want often require us to go first, and how vulnerability, consistency, reciprocity, and even a little inconvenience create the kind of soulful friendships so many of us are craving.

We also get into friendship jealousy, people-pleasing, friendship breakups, navigating different seasons of life, low-maintenance friendships, and why you don’t need to be a perfect friend to be a really good one.

What I really want you to remember from this episode is: maybe you don’t need a bigger circle. Maybe you just need to go a little deeper. But as always, take whatever resonates and leave the rest.

LOVE YOU. x

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Sometimes getting what you want starts with loosening your grip on how you think it needs to happen.

We’re revisiting a favorite today—all about mastering the law of detachment. We’re talking about what it actually means to detach, why letting go doesn’t mean you stop caring, and how to release your need to control every outcome while still going after what you want (my fellow Capricorn/perfectionist/Type A queens, I'm talking to you). 

Whether it’s dating, friendships, your career, social media, or literally anything else, detachment isn’t indifference—it’s caring without clinging. It’s showing up fully, doing what’s in your control, and trusting yourself enough to handle whatever happens next. 

Consider this your reminder to stop forcing, loosen your grip, and give life a little more room to surprise you. As always, take whatever you need & leave the rest. LOVE YOU. x

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File this episode under: how to be wildly ambitious without postponing your entire life until you "make it."

This week, I'm Unwineding with Gaby Ulloa—writer, host, storyteller, and one of those women who leaves you better than she found you.

We’re talking about the very real tension between wanting an extraordinary life and actually remembering to LIVE while you’re building it. Gaby opens up about spending years hyper-focused on the next milestone, constantly moving the goalpost, and convincing herself she couldn’t fully celebrate until the “big thing” happened—and what changed when she realized the outcome can’t be the entire point.

We get into ambition, perfectionism, self-doubt, overthinking yourself into paralysis, and learning to start before you feel ready. Gaby shares the mindset that helped her stop treating every decision like it could make or break her future, why nobody ever really feels ready for the opportunities they’re given, and the advice from her mom that she still comes back to: people simply choose to rise to the occasion.

We also talk about the other side of being a deeply ambitious woman: learning how to actually enjoy the life you’re working so hard to create. How do you chase huge dreams without making your happiness conditional on achieving them? How do you hold the vision while releasing your death grip on exactly how it needs to happen? And at what point does all of our self-improvement, optimization, healing, planning, and preparing actually prevent us from hearing ourselves think (my fellow Capricorns, these questions are for you!!!)?

We also get into:

• perfectionism, overthinking & taking action before you feel ready
• why the biggest self-betrayal might be never letting yourself try
• Gaby’s “pearl necklace” mindset for breaking out of paralysis
• how to stop constantly moving the goalpost on your own happiness
• ambition, self-trust & learning to enjoy the process
• holding the vision while releasing the “how”
• why there can be such a thing as too much self-improvement
• learning to trust your own voice instead of constantly looking for more answers
• mentorship & why you always have something to bring to the table
• the power of multi-generational female friendships
• visibility, confidence & the discomfort of being seen
• why actually living your life might make you better at your job
• becoming someone your younger self would be proud of

& so much more. A conversation I deeply needed and hope you did, too. As always, take whatever resonates and leave the rest. LOVE YOU.

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Note to self: your brain can make an incredible argument... and still be completely wrong.

If you're analytical, ambitious, self-aware, and constantly trying to grow, your inner critic probably doesn't sound irrational. It sounds thoughtful. It cites evidence. It notices patterns. It builds compelling arguments for why you're behind, not good enough, or should play it safe.

And that's EXACTLY what makes it so dangerous.

It's just us this week & we're talking about why smart women often have really smart inner critics, how our intelligence gets weaponized against us, and the life-changing realization that intelligence and truth are not the same thing.

We also get into:
• why your inner critic sounds so convincing
• the difference between facts and interpretations
• how fear recruits your intelligence to keep you safe
• why anxiety loves finding "evidence"
• the questions I ask myself when my inner critic takes over
• how to stop mistaking eloquence for truth

As always, I hope there was something in here you needed. Take whatever resonates & leave the rest.

LOVE YOU. x

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Some episodes leave you wanting to call your best friend. This is one of them.

This week, I'm Unwineding with my beautiful friend Bailey Stanworth, founder of Quickies—the award-winning press-on nail brand recently named Cosmopolitan's #1 Press-On Nail Brand AND winner of a 2026 Cosmopolitan Holy Grail Beauty Award (no big deal!!!!). We talk about what it really takes to build a business from the ground up, knowing when to pivot, trusting yourself before you have all the answers, and the hidden cost of ambition.

Then we take a sharp left into one of my favorite topics: female friendship. From making meaningful friends as an adult to navigating friendship shifts, jealousy, conflict, and becoming the kind of woman who attracts incredible people into her life.

We also get into:

• the story behind Quickies
• knowing when to make a career pivot
• self-trust & confidence
• the hidden cost of ambition
• female friendship & community
• navigating friendship breakups
• long-distance friendships
• eating disorder recovery
• healing your relationship with yourself
• learning to forgive yourself
• why your 30s really are better than your 20s

And so much more. As always, I hope there was something in here you needed. Take whatever resonates & leave the rest.

LOVE YOU. x

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File this episode under: things I'm loving that I refuse to gatekeep. 💌

It's just us this week, and I'm sharing the Substack essays that changed the way I think, beauty products I CAN'T stop repurchasing, new fashion finds, books I'm reading, creator favorites, and a little reminder that it's okay if your life doesn't look like everyone else's highlight reel this summer. As always, take whatever you need & leave the rest. LOVE YOU. x

ALL BEAUTY & FASHION FAVORITES

BOOKS:

The Art of Gathering by Priya Parker

Talk Like Ted by Carmine Gallo

Start With Yourself by Emma Grede

Let's F*cking Date by Serena Kerrigan

Why Am I Like This? by Sabrina Zohar

OTHER:

Bloom Clear Protein

SUBSTACKS:

1. Gateway misogyny & red pill microdosing

2. I aspire to be a disagreeable & selfish woman

3. I want to do everything, so I do nothing

SAY HI:

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We spend so much time thinking about how to find the right person—but not nearly enough time learning how to build a relationship that actually lasts.

This week, I'm joined by relationship psychologist and sex expert Dr. Tara, PhD to unpack what happy couples do differently, the biggest mistakes that slowly erode relationships, and why lasting love has far less to do with chemistry than most people think.

We also talk about why dating feels so hard right now, how to keep the spark alive in long-term relationships, emotional safety, shame around sex, and the habits that create deeper intimacy over time.

In this episode, we cover:

As always, take whatever you need and leave the rest. LOVE YOU.

Thank you so much to Quince for sponsoring today's episode! I'm obsessed, we know. Elevate your summer wardrobe at quince.com/unwineding. (Also peep the cardigan I keep telling you about on my IG, right here).

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Just us this week & we're doing a little LA recap & talking recent lessons on ambition, confidence, visibility, and building your dream life. As always, I hope there was something in this episode you needed. Take whatever resonates and leave the rest. LOVE YOU. x

Thank you so much to Quince for sponsoring this week's episode! I'M OBSESSED, low key. I just ordered a new ribbed top (I'll post on stories when I get it), but this bag and this cardigan are my current obsession. Elevate your summer wardrobe at quince.com/unwineding for free shipping & returns.

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You cannot build an extraordinary life with ordinary beliefs. And your future is shaped by the beliefs you repeat, not the dreams you keep. So let's make sure our beliefs are ON POINT, shall we?

This week, I'm joined by Olivia Rose Thomas to unpack the psychology behind self-concept, limiting beliefs, fear of being seen, and why so many of us keep playing smaller than we're capable of. We talk about how your subconscious beliefs shape your decisions, why your nervous system resists change (even when it's good for you), and the practical tools that can help you stop waiting, start trusting yourself, and finally go after the life you've been imagining.

We get into:

& so much more. I hope you love this episode as much as I did and as always, take whatever resonates and leave the rest. LOVE YOU. x

Thank you so much to Quince for sponsoring this episode! Elevate your summer wardrobe at: quince.com/unwineding (I just got this beautiful Ribbed Midi Dress in brown and OMG, stalk it here).

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Hi ladiesss! This week, I'm joined by therapist Kaela Ason for a conversation that felt like therapy for every high-achieving woman who's ever overthought a text, treated dating like a checklist, or wondered why relationships can feel so much harder than everything else she's accomplished.

We talk about why so many successful women struggle in relationships, why we get attached to people we barely know, and how anxiety can make us focus on being chosen instead of doing the choosing ourselves.

Kaela breaks down the difference between anxiety and intuition, discernment and self-sabotage, and why so many of us intellectualize our feelings instead of actually letting ourselves feel them. We also get into people-pleasing, perfectionism, self-trust, and why having your life together doesn't necessarily make relationships feel easier.

We talk:
• why high-achieving women tend to overthink relationships
• getting attached to people we barely know
• treating dating like a checklist instead of asking how we actually feel
• anxiety vs. intuition (& how to tell the difference)
• discernment vs. self-sabotage
• why people-pleasing shows up so often in dating
• learning to trust yourself, even when relationships don't work out
• trying to be chosen instead of doing the choosing
• why successful women can struggle with relationships and vulnerability
• perfectionism, self-worth, and the pressure to always have it all together
• confusing peace with boredom and chemistry with chaos
• building self-trust and learning to feel safe in healthy relationships

& so much more.

As always, take whatever you need and leave the rest. LOVE YOU.

Thank you so much to Quince for sponsoring this week's episode! Elevate your summer wardrobe at: quince.com/unwineding (the 100% Linen Pants are everything).

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