You Are Not Crazy

Traumatic bonding is a strong emotional attachment between an abused person and his or her abuser, formed as a result of the cycle of domestic violence. 

If you are in a trauma bond, I personally believe that you saw the absolute best and the absolute worst of your partner. I am also sure his best was really good. I am sure it was sweet, kind, and raw. When you say you know who they really are inside, I know you mean it. 

But when we are in trauma we are not completely in reality.

A trauma bond convinces you that you are in love with your abuser. You will feel like he is your soulmate. That the mistreatment is not that bad. That he really loves you despite this mistreatment. That he means his apologies. That when he says he is trying to change, he is, and you are actually not noticing any of the changes he’s made.

This episode focuses on what a Trauma Bond is and how you can start to heal from it.

Teal Swan video mentioned: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M_lakRMIA7Q

Cycle of Abuse in Domestic Partnership: http://jessicaknightcoaching.com/the-cycle-of-abuse-in-domestic-partnership/

Contact me:
[email protected]
http://www.emotionalabusecoach.com

Support the show

*Please Note: there is a long intro that explains my services. If you do not want to listen, just fast-forward 5 mins past. This intro will be changed in future recordings to be shorter. I am not paid to record this podcast and it is a free offering. Offering my work is the only way I can sustain the podcast*

Join the Patreon: https://patreon.com/Youarenotcrazy

*New Course*: Unhooked: Map the Cycle of Abuse in your Relationship

Website: Emotional Abuse Coach and high-conflictdivorcecoaching.com
Instagram: @emotionalabusecoach
Email: [email protected]

{Substack} Blog About Recovering from Abuse

{E-Book} How to Break Up with a Narcissist
{Course} Identify Signs of Abuse and Begin to Heal
{Free Resource} Canned Responses for Engaging with an Abusive Partner

Signs of Emotional Abuse. We discuss Anger, Contempt, Control, Blame and Gaslighting. This podcast only scratches the surface of what is Emotional Abuse.

Free Copy: Lundy Bancroft, "Why Does He Do That: Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men"

Email me if you need support.

Support the show

*Please Note: there is a long intro that explains my services. If you do not want to listen, just fast-forward 5 mins past. This intro will be changed in future recordings to be shorter. I am not paid to record this podcast and it is a free offering. Offering my work is the only way I can sustain the podcast*

Join the Patreon: https://patreon.com/Youarenotcrazy

*New Course*: Unhooked: Map the Cycle of Abuse in your Relationship

Website: Emotional Abuse Coach and high-conflictdivorcecoaching.com
Instagram: @emotionalabusecoach
Email: [email protected]

{Substack} Blog About Recovering from Abuse

{E-Book} How to Break Up with a Narcissist
{Course} Identify Signs of Abuse and Begin to Heal
{Free Resource} Canned Responses for Engaging with an Abusive Partner

Many victims of narcissism, manipulation and abuse desperately want to know if their abusive partner is changing, or if he even can change.

This is very normal. You are likely an empathetic person who would make changes if you were hurting someone you care about. This is not true for manipulative people.

Yes, abusive men can absolutely change, but as Lundy Bancroft explains: true, lasting change is a deeply transformative process requiring “deep work” and committing to living amends for a lifetime.

Few men choose to take this road. Staying in your relationship because he might be changing or has committed to change may not be the best option for you.

This episode scratches the surface of what a toxic person would need to do to move from abusive to respecting you.

Here are the resources mentioned in the podcast:

The Verbally Abusive Relationship: Can He Change

Why Does He Do That?: Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men

If you need support, you can find me at emotionalabusecoach.com

Support the show

*Please Note: there is a long intro that explains my services. If you do not want to listen, just fast-forward 5 mins past. This intro will be changed in future recordings to be shorter. I am not paid to record this podcast and it is a free offering. Offering my work is the only way I can sustain the podcast*

Join the Patreon: https://patreon.com/Youarenotcrazy

*New Course*: Unhooked: Map the Cycle of Abuse in your Relationship

Website: Emotional Abuse Coach and high-conflictdivorcecoaching.com
Instagram: @emotionalabusecoach
Email: [email protected]

{Substack} Blog About Recovering from Abuse

{E-Book} How to Break Up with a Narcissist
{Course} Identify Signs of Abuse and Begin to Heal
{Free Resource} Canned Responses for Engaging with an Abusive Partner

My story used to sound like this: "In my 20’s I took on the project of un-shallowing myself. I was going for the same kind of guy and getting the same result: an asshole with arm muscles who can go jab for jab with me but doesn’t prioritize me. I’d joke, ‘assholes are just my type.’  But I quickly learned that THAT kind of guy would never care for me more than his friends, or the gym, and he didn’t care if he treated me like shit. I needed to learn how to go for the nice guy, who maybe didn’t have the initial jab and or the 6 pack, but would treat me like a princess…if I let him."

I am here to tell you that story is actually bullshit. That story doesn’t even scratch the surface of what was going on. This episode dives deeper into my story.

I created a series of canned responses that can be helpful with diffusing conflict. You can get them here: https://jessicaknightcoaching.activehosted.com/f/3

Support the show

*Please Note: there is a long intro that explains my services. If you do not want to listen, just fast-forward 5 mins past. This intro will be changed in future recordings to be shorter. I am not paid to record this podcast and it is a free offering. Offering my work is the only way I can sustain the podcast*

Join the Patreon: https://patreon.com/Youarenotcrazy

*New Course*: Unhooked: Map the Cycle of Abuse in your Relationship

Website: Emotional Abuse Coach and high-conflictdivorcecoaching.com
Instagram: @emotionalabusecoach
Email: [email protected]

{Substack} Blog About Recovering from Abuse

{E-Book} How to Break Up with a Narcissist
{Course} Identify Signs of Abuse and Begin to Heal
{Free Resource} Canned Responses for Engaging with an Abusive Partner