You Are Not Crazy

When you're in a Trauma Bond it feels impossible to break. It feels like love. When we are in it, we don't really know that we want to break a trauma bond. We just know that we want to stop feeling the way we're feeling, but we can't leave.

Lisa Sonni is an expert on Trauma Bonds. We explore trauma bonds and why they’re so hard to break, how you feel when you are trauma bonded, and what impedes healing. 

As a survivor of domestic assault and narcissistic abuse, Lisa's experience led her to become a certified Life & Relationship Coach who helps clients of all genders and walks of life overcome challenges stemming from traumatic partnerships. 

You can learn more about Lisa here: https://strongerthanbefore.ca/

Support the show

*Please Note: there is a long intro that explains my services. If you do not want to listen, just fast-forward 5 mins past. This intro will be changed in future recordings to be shorter. I am not paid to record this podcast and it is a free offering. Offering my work is the only way I can sustain the podcast*

Join the Patreon: https://patreon.com/Youarenotcrazy

*New Course*: Unhooked: Map the Cycle of Abuse in your Relationship

Website: Emotional Abuse Coach and high-conflictdivorcecoaching.com
Instagram: @emotionalabusecoach
Email: [email protected]

{Substack} Blog About Recovering from Abuse

{E-Book} How to Break Up with a Narcissist
{Course} Identify Signs of Abuse and Begin to Heal
{Free Resource} Canned Responses for Engaging with an Abusive Partner

Matt's behavior on Love is Blind is the text book definition emotional abuse. Their interactions triggered me all season long, and after seeing Colleen visibly scared on the reunion, I wanted to record a podcast breaking down the behavior and looking at their interactions through the lens of Emotional Abuse.

Netflix should add a trigger warning to the episodes and provide resources for victims of abuse.

Cycle of Abuse: https://www.buzzsprout.com/1916632/10300770

Netflix "Love is a Rollercoaster": https://www.instagram.com/p/CkyVAlnOdMm/?hl=en

Support the show

*Please Note: there is a long intro that explains my services. If you do not want to listen, just fast-forward 5 mins past. This intro will be changed in future recordings to be shorter. I am not paid to record this podcast and it is a free offering. Offering my work is the only way I can sustain the podcast*

Join the Patreon: https://patreon.com/Youarenotcrazy

*New Course*: Unhooked: Map the Cycle of Abuse in your Relationship

Website: Emotional Abuse Coach and high-conflictdivorcecoaching.com
Instagram: @emotionalabusecoach
Email: [email protected]

{Substack} Blog About Recovering from Abuse

{E-Book} How to Break Up with a Narcissist
{Course} Identify Signs of Abuse and Begin to Heal
{Free Resource} Canned Responses for Engaging with an Abusive Partner

Tina Swithin, the founder of One Moms Battle and Advocate in the Family Court System, discusses her story, post-separation abuse, strategies a safe parent can employ to cope, and some of the current issues in the Family Court System.

Tina survived a “Category Five Divorce Hurricane” while acting as her own attorney in a high-conflict custody battle that turned her family’s life upside down for over a decade. While divorces are never easy, Tina quickly learned that divorcing a narcissist or another high-conflict individual escalates family law cases to levels few can comprehend.

This episode is beneficial to anyone navigating the Family Court System. It will help you feel seen, heard and validated.

Tina's website: https://www.onemomsbattle.com/

Additional Resources: https://www.onemomsbattle.com/resources

National Safe Parents Organization: https://www.nationalsafeparents.org/

Support the show

*Please Note: there is a long intro that explains my services. If you do not want to listen, just fast-forward 5 mins past. This intro will be changed in future recordings to be shorter. I am not paid to record this podcast and it is a free offering. Offering my work is the only way I can sustain the podcast*

Join the Patreon: https://patreon.com/Youarenotcrazy

*New Course*: Unhooked: Map the Cycle of Abuse in your Relationship

Website: Emotional Abuse Coach and high-conflictdivorcecoaching.com
Instagram: @emotionalabusecoach
Email: [email protected]

{Substack} Blog About Recovering from Abuse

{E-Book} How to Break Up with a Narcissist
{Course} Identify Signs of Abuse and Begin to Heal
{Free Resource} Canned Responses for Engaging with an Abusive Partner

A Narcissist projects their feeling onto you. Projection is sometimes an unconscious way of dealing with the presence of something inside of yourself, yet it gets externalized because it is so uncomfortable to be within yourself. A healthy person will notice they do this (or accept it when they are called out). A Narcissist continues to use it as a tool and project it onto you. This episode unpacks this concept and offers tools to help you see it for what it is. 

Support the show

*Please Note: there is a long intro that explains my services. If you do not want to listen, just fast-forward 5 mins past. This intro will be changed in future recordings to be shorter. I am not paid to record this podcast and it is a free offering. Offering my work is the only way I can sustain the podcast*

Join the Patreon: https://patreon.com/Youarenotcrazy

*New Course*: Unhooked: Map the Cycle of Abuse in your Relationship

Website: Emotional Abuse Coach and high-conflictdivorcecoaching.com
Instagram: @emotionalabusecoach
Email: [email protected]

{Substack} Blog About Recovering from Abuse

{E-Book} How to Break Up with a Narcissist
{Course} Identify Signs of Abuse and Begin to Heal
{Free Resource} Canned Responses for Engaging with an Abusive Partner

Gaslighting affects your memory, your perception, your sanity, and your reality. To gaslight someone is to plant seeds of doubt in their mind, and make them question their own sense of reality, their perception, and their feelings. Since gaslighters lack self-awareness and empathy, they may not even realize that they're being manipulative. 

But when you don't know that you're being gaslit, you defend yourself endlessly. And  the problem arises when they realize it (whether or not you told them) and don't change it. When they are hurting you and you see it. We can't control how someone treats us - but if you see the gaslighting and see what it is, you will stop defending yourself. 

This episode will help you understand why that is so important and how you can start to see gaslighting for what it is and disengage.

Support the show

*Please Note: there is a long intro that explains my services. If you do not want to listen, just fast-forward 5 mins past. This intro will be changed in future recordings to be shorter. I am not paid to record this podcast and it is a free offering. Offering my work is the only way I can sustain the podcast*

Join the Patreon: https://patreon.com/Youarenotcrazy

*New Course*: Unhooked: Map the Cycle of Abuse in your Relationship

Website: Emotional Abuse Coach and high-conflictdivorcecoaching.com
Instagram: @emotionalabusecoach
Email: [email protected]

{Substack} Blog About Recovering from Abuse

{E-Book} How to Break Up with a Narcissist
{Course} Identify Signs of Abuse and Begin to Heal
{Free Resource} Canned Responses for Engaging with an Abusive Partner

A conversation with a Narcissist can be extremely frustrating and dizzying.  The communication tools you'd engage with a healthy person do not work. Promises are not kept. Words are not aligned with actions. 

In this episode, I discuss how hard a conversation with a Narcissist can be, and why you continue to try.

Support the show

*Please Note: there is a long intro that explains my services. If you do not want to listen, just fast-forward 5 mins past. This intro will be changed in future recordings to be shorter. I am not paid to record this podcast and it is a free offering. Offering my work is the only way I can sustain the podcast*

Join the Patreon: https://patreon.com/Youarenotcrazy

*New Course*: Unhooked: Map the Cycle of Abuse in your Relationship

Website: Emotional Abuse Coach and high-conflictdivorcecoaching.com
Instagram: @emotionalabusecoach
Email: [email protected]

{Substack} Blog About Recovering from Abuse

{E-Book} How to Break Up with a Narcissist
{Course} Identify Signs of Abuse and Begin to Heal
{Free Resource} Canned Responses for Engaging with an Abusive Partner

How did you end up in an abusive relationship? You are likely trauma bonded. When you're in one it feels impossible to break - and it feels like love. 

When we are in it, we don't really know that we want to break a trauma bond. We just know that we want to stop feeling the way we're feeling.

This episode will give you some insights on how to identify a Trauma Bond.

Support the show

*Please Note: there is a long intro that explains my services. If you do not want to listen, just fast-forward 5 mins past. This intro will be changed in future recordings to be shorter. I am not paid to record this podcast and it is a free offering. Offering my work is the only way I can sustain the podcast*

Join the Patreon: https://patreon.com/Youarenotcrazy

*New Course*: Unhooked: Map the Cycle of Abuse in your Relationship

Website: Emotional Abuse Coach and high-conflictdivorcecoaching.com
Instagram: @emotionalabusecoach
Email: [email protected]

{Substack} Blog About Recovering from Abuse

{E-Book} How to Break Up with a Narcissist
{Course} Identify Signs of Abuse and Begin to Heal
{Free Resource} Canned Responses for Engaging with an Abusive Partner

This episode explores the difference between a therapist and a life coach. 

A life coach helps you look at the present and the future. We help you identify patterns in your past behavior so you can work towards a healthy future. We work on specific goals and actions to keep you motivated in your journey and unpack things when you get stuck. Most times, the work is tailored to you, and will help you work through limited beliefs and unhealthy patterns.

You can sign up for a Clarity Call here to see if Coaching is for you: https://jessicaknightcoaching.as.me/schedule.php?appointmentType=2523892

Support the show

*Please Note: there is a long intro that explains my services. If you do not want to listen, just fast-forward 5 mins past. This intro will be changed in future recordings to be shorter. I am not paid to record this podcast and it is a free offering. Offering my work is the only way I can sustain the podcast*

Join the Patreon: https://patreon.com/Youarenotcrazy

*New Course*: Unhooked: Map the Cycle of Abuse in your Relationship

Website: Emotional Abuse Coach and high-conflictdivorcecoaching.com
Instagram: @emotionalabusecoach
Email: [email protected]

{Substack} Blog About Recovering from Abuse

{E-Book} How to Break Up with a Narcissist
{Course} Identify Signs of Abuse and Begin to Heal
{Free Resource} Canned Responses for Engaging with an Abusive Partner

Emotional Abuse is not easily understood by those who haven't been through it. Some common signs include: you may feel insecure and have a low self-esteem. You might be depressed or anxious (or both). You may feel you need to justify everything you say.  You may withdraw from people even when you're around them. You might no longer go out and socialize.

In this episode, I discuss signs of verbal, psychological and emotional abuse, and how it feels to be in it. 

You can also share this episode with a friend who may not understand what you're going through.

Support the show

*Please Note: there is a long intro that explains my services. If you do not want to listen, just fast-forward 5 mins past. This intro will be changed in future recordings to be shorter. I am not paid to record this podcast and it is a free offering. Offering my work is the only way I can sustain the podcast*

Join the Patreon: https://patreon.com/Youarenotcrazy

*New Course*: Unhooked: Map the Cycle of Abuse in your Relationship

Website: Emotional Abuse Coach and high-conflictdivorcecoaching.com
Instagram: @emotionalabusecoach
Email: [email protected]

{Substack} Blog About Recovering from Abuse

{E-Book} How to Break Up with a Narcissist
{Course} Identify Signs of Abuse and Begin to Heal
{Free Resource} Canned Responses for Engaging with an Abusive Partner

What does it take for an Emotional Abusive person to change? What do they have to do to change? How did Paul know he had to change?

Paul is a Relationship Coach and founder of The Overwhelmed Brain and the Love and Abuse podcasts. He created the MEAN workbook, a 200 point assessment to identify manipulative behavior.

We talk through these questions in depth and I give real examples from my story of going through, and healing from, an emotionally abusive relationship.

Where you can find Paul:
Love and Abuse
The Overwhelmed Brain
MEAN Workbook

Connect with me:
Emotional Abuse Coach

Instagram: @emotionalabusecoach

Support the show

*Please Note: there is a long intro that explains my services. If you do not want to listen, just fast-forward 5 mins past. This intro will be changed in future recordings to be shorter. I am not paid to record this podcast and it is a free offering. Offering my work is the only way I can sustain the podcast*

Join the Patreon: https://patreon.com/Youarenotcrazy

*New Course*: Unhooked: Map the Cycle of Abuse in your Relationship

Website: Emotional Abuse Coach and high-conflictdivorcecoaching.com
Instagram: @emotionalabusecoach
Email: [email protected]

{Substack} Blog About Recovering from Abuse

{E-Book} How to Break Up with a Narcissist
{Course} Identify Signs of Abuse and Begin to Heal
{Free Resource} Canned Responses for Engaging with an Abusive Partner