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The Holiday Season with a Narcissist can be incredibly challenging and dizzying. On the one hand, they may promote the "most wonderful time of the year" while tearing you down and making the entire season miserable for you. In this episode, I share three stories of Narcissistic abuse before going through 5 reasons why Narcissists ruin the holidays.
Support the show
*Please Note: there is a long intro that explains my services. If you do not want to listen, just fast-forward 5 mins past. This intro will be changed in future recordings to be shorter. I am not paid to record this podcast and it is a free offering. Offering my work is the only way I can sustain the podcast*
Join the Patreon: https://patreon.com/Youarenotcrazy
*New Course*: Unhooked: Map the Cycle of Abuse in your Relationship
Website: Emotional Abuse Coach and high-conflictdivorcecoaching.com
Instagram: @emotionalabusecoach
Email: [email protected]
{Substack} Blog About Recovering from Abuse
{E-Book} How to Break Up with a Narcissist
{Course} Identify Signs of Abuse and Begin to Heal
{Free Resource} Canned Responses for Engaging with an Abusive Partner
This is a question asks; did they love me? I offer two answers to this question that are short but gives some perspective to the topic. I plan to do a longer, in depth, episode on this. Send questions to me on Instagram: @emotionalabusecoach
Support the show
*Please Note: there is a long intro that explains my services. If you do not want to listen, just fast-forward 5 mins past. This intro will be changed in future recordings to be shorter. I am not paid to record this podcast and it is a free offering. Offering my work is the only way I can sustain the podcast*
Join the Patreon: https://patreon.com/Youarenotcrazy
*New Course*: Unhooked: Map the Cycle of Abuse in your Relationship
Website: Emotional Abuse Coach and high-conflictdivorcecoaching.com
Instagram: @emotionalabusecoach
Email: [email protected]
{Substack} Blog About Recovering from Abuse
{E-Book} How to Break Up with a Narcissist
{Course} Identify Signs of Abuse and Begin to Heal
{Free Resource} Canned Responses for Engaging with an Abusive Partner
Questions and answers on Emotional Abuse and Narcissism
1. Is calling names, pointing fingers and degrading me during a fight when things go wrong abuse? Why do they pretend all is well during the calm cycle? How does one get out?
2. I love the Relationship Recovery Course. Did you always want to be a Life Coach?
3. Is it normal that I'm suddenly obsessed with learning more about Narcissism since I see these traits in my husband?
4. He's trying to hoover me back after I went no contact, but I can't help but feel guilty. What do I do?
5. I'm fresh out of an insanely toxic, abusive in every way relationship, and I can't stop cycling through the good memories. How do I make it? I want to call him.
6. I found out last night that my Narc-ex is now engaged to a new girl while I'm still recovering from all the trauma. He caused me to throw away all the plans we made, he threw away so easily. Do you have any advice? I was doing better until this pushed me down again.
7. I'm having a hard time accepting that what would happen to me is emotional abuse. Other people have had it worse than me. My situation has caused me a lot of anxiety and depression. Any advice?
8. Can you heal from a trauma bond if you stay with the same person who caused it?
9. Is it normal to care about my narcissistic ex that I hope they get the proper mental health?
10. My narcissistic ex somehow still knows everything I'm doing and is now accusing me of stealing his friends. We're supposed to be at a wedding this weekend, and he lied and said they didn't want me there, so I opted not to go. Is this normal behavior? Will he stop?
11. My narcissistic spouse makes me highly anxious, and I've developed high blood pressure and a fast heart rate, but he says I just have anxiety issues. Is it normal to have physical symptoms of emotional abuse?
12. Can an emotional abuser change?
13. Did you ever date again?
Support the show
*Please Note: there is a long intro that explains my services. If you do not want to listen, just fast-forward 5 mins past. This intro will be changed in future recordings to be shorter. I am not paid to record this podcast and it is a free offering. Offering my work is the only way I can sustain the podcast*
Join the Patreon: https://patreon.com/Youarenotcrazy
*New Course*: Unhooked: Map the Cycle of Abuse in your Relationship
Website: Emotional Abuse Coach and high-conflictdivorcecoaching.com
Instagram: @emotionalabusecoach
Email: [email protected]
{Substack} Blog About Recovering from Abuse
{E-Book} How to Break Up with a Narcissist
{Course} Identify Signs of Abuse and Begin to Heal
{Free Resource} Canned Responses for Engaging with an Abusive Partner
This is a rant. The rules of the game are not the same. The abuse is real. This page is called Emotional Abuse Coach so if this content is not for you, please go elsewhere, like Not Emotional Abuse Coach, and comment there. You are showing how un-empathetic you are to those who are going through Narcissistic Abuse. This has been happening since I created the page and I do not wish to argue, or even reply, to the comments, but I will not act like they aren't part of the problem because they are. This is how people react to victims of abuse and it PERPETUATES THE PROBLEM OF ABUSE.
Support the show
*Please Note: there is a long intro that explains my services. If you do not want to listen, just fast-forward 5 mins past. This intro will be changed in future recordings to be shorter. I am not paid to record this podcast and it is a free offering. Offering my work is the only way I can sustain the podcast*
Join the Patreon: https://patreon.com/Youarenotcrazy
*New Course*: Unhooked: Map the Cycle of Abuse in your Relationship
Website: Emotional Abuse Coach and high-conflictdivorcecoaching.com
Instagram: @emotionalabusecoach
Email: [email protected]
{Substack} Blog About Recovering from Abuse
{E-Book} How to Break Up with a Narcissist
{Course} Identify Signs of Abuse and Begin to Heal
{Free Resource} Canned Responses for Engaging with an Abusive Partner
A listener asked me this question: how do I leave an abusive relationship? It is different for everyone. This is an introductory episode on how to leave and what you should think about. I named it Part 1 because there could be endless episodes on this topic. I would love if you send any follow-up questions to me at [email protected] or DM me on Instagram @emotionalabusecoach
If you are wondering if you are in an abusive relationship, I highly recommend signing up for my Relationship Recovery program (link in bio, or on emotionalabusecoach.com). It will guide you through identifying abuse, understanding the cycle of abuse, understanding the bare bones of a trauma bond, and learning how to set boundaries and the first steps of healing, so you can feel like yourself again.
Support the show
*Please Note: there is a long intro that explains my services. If you do not want to listen, just fast-forward 5 mins past. This intro will be changed in future recordings to be shorter. I am not paid to record this podcast and it is a free offering. Offering my work is the only way I can sustain the podcast*
Join the Patreon: https://patreon.com/Youarenotcrazy
*New Course*: Unhooked: Map the Cycle of Abuse in your Relationship
Website: Emotional Abuse Coach and high-conflictdivorcecoaching.com
Instagram: @emotionalabusecoach
Email: [email protected]
{Substack} Blog About Recovering from Abuse
{E-Book} How to Break Up with a Narcissist
{Course} Identify Signs of Abuse and Begin to Heal
{Free Resource} Canned Responses for Engaging with an Abusive Partner
A lot of my clients will ask, what is a healthy relationship? What is a safe relationship? It can feel impossible to know after you've suffered from Narcissistic or Emotional abuse. This podcast covers 5 qualities of a safe relationship.
If this podcast is triggering to you, I invite you to unpack it further by joining my Relationship Recovery program. https://emotionalabusecoach.com/relationship-recovery-course/
Support the show
*Please Note: there is a long intro that explains my services. If you do not want to listen, just fast-forward 5 mins past. This intro will be changed in future recordings to be shorter. I am not paid to record this podcast and it is a free offering. Offering my work is the only way I can sustain the podcast*
Join the Patreon: https://patreon.com/Youarenotcrazy
*New Course*: Unhooked: Map the Cycle of Abuse in your Relationship
Website: Emotional Abuse Coach and high-conflictdivorcecoaching.com
Instagram: @emotionalabusecoach
Email: [email protected]
{Substack} Blog About Recovering from Abuse
{E-Book} How to Break Up with a Narcissist
{Course} Identify Signs of Abuse and Begin to Heal
{Free Resource} Canned Responses for Engaging with an Abusive Partner
The phrase "don't rock the boat," is toxic. People say it all the time, and you think they're being supportive, but it actually can be another way abuse is enabled.
Support the show
*Please Note: there is a long intro that explains my services. If you do not want to listen, just fast-forward 5 mins past. This intro will be changed in future recordings to be shorter. I am not paid to record this podcast and it is a free offering. Offering my work is the only way I can sustain the podcast*
Join the Patreon: https://patreon.com/Youarenotcrazy
*New Course*: Unhooked: Map the Cycle of Abuse in your Relationship
Website: Emotional Abuse Coach and high-conflictdivorcecoaching.com
Instagram: @emotionalabusecoach
Email: [email protected]
{Substack} Blog About Recovering from Abuse
{E-Book} How to Break Up with a Narcissist
{Course} Identify Signs of Abuse and Begin to Heal
{Free Resource} Canned Responses for Engaging with an Abusive Partner
You have more control over your thoughts than you think. Even though it's hard, it is important for us to take responsibility for our thoughts. This episode unpacks why that is important and how you can start having more control.
Support the show
*Please Note: there is a long intro that explains my services. If you do not want to listen, just fast-forward 5 mins past. This intro will be changed in future recordings to be shorter. I am not paid to record this podcast and it is a free offering. Offering my work is the only way I can sustain the podcast*
Join the Patreon: https://patreon.com/Youarenotcrazy
*New Course*: Unhooked: Map the Cycle of Abuse in your Relationship
Website: Emotional Abuse Coach and high-conflictdivorcecoaching.com
Instagram: @emotionalabusecoach
Email: [email protected]
{Substack} Blog About Recovering from Abuse
{E-Book} How to Break Up with a Narcissist
{Course} Identify Signs of Abuse and Begin to Heal
{Free Resource} Canned Responses for Engaging with an Abusive Partner
It can be very hard to connect to your wants, needs and feelings when you are in an Emotionally Abusive or Narcissistic Relationship. This 8 minute meditation is intended to help you begin connect to you again.
Support the show
*Please Note: there is a long intro that explains my services. If you do not want to listen, just fast-forward 5 mins past. This intro will be changed in future recordings to be shorter. I am not paid to record this podcast and it is a free offering. Offering my work is the only way I can sustain the podcast*
Join the Patreon: https://patreon.com/Youarenotcrazy
*New Course*: Unhooked: Map the Cycle of Abuse in your Relationship
Website: Emotional Abuse Coach and high-conflictdivorcecoaching.com
Instagram: @emotionalabusecoach
Email: [email protected]
{Substack} Blog About Recovering from Abuse
{E-Book} How to Break Up with a Narcissist
{Course} Identify Signs of Abuse and Begin to Heal
{Free Resource} Canned Responses for Engaging with an Abusive Partner
"When reminding my partner that he needs to take responsibility for his emotions, and that I can't be blamed for his anger, he responded that it should be the same for me and that he shouldn't be held responsible for my feeling abused, and that I should be responsible for those feelings."
This was a question that came in through my Instagram. I answer this question in the episode.
Here are the resources I mention in the episode:
Free PDF - Lundy Bancroft, "Why Does He Do That" - https://emotionalabusecoach.com/why-does-he-do-that/
Link to Book - Lundy Bancroft, "Why Does He Do That" - https://amzn.to/3EhCurh
Website: www.EmotionalAbuseCoach.com
Instagram: @emotionalabusecoach
Email: [email protected]
{Course} Identify Signs of Abuse and Heal: https://emotionalabusecoach.com/relationship-recovery-course/
{Free Resource} Canned Responses for Engaging with an Abusive Partner: https://emotionalabusecoach.com/communication/
Support the show
*Please Note: there is a long intro that explains my services. If you do not want to listen, just fast-forward 5 mins past. This intro will be changed in future recordings to be shorter. I am not paid to record this podcast and it is a free offering. Offering my work is the only way I can sustain the podcast*
Join the Patreon: https://patreon.com/Youarenotcrazy
*New Course*: Unhooked: Map the Cycle of Abuse in your Relationship
Website: Emotional Abuse Coach and high-conflictdivorcecoaching.com
Instagram: @emotionalabusecoach
Email: [email protected]
{Substack} Blog About Recovering from Abuse
{E-Book} How to Break Up with a Narcissist
{Course} Identify Signs of Abuse and Begin to Heal
{Free Resource} Canned Responses for Engaging with an Abusive Partner
From the publisher's feed
You know something is wrong. You just can’t always explain what it is.
Why do you keep apologizing when you didn’t do anything wrong? Why can one nice interaction make you question…
You Are Not Crazy is a podcast about making sense of the relationship experiences that don’t make sense.
I’m Jessica Knight, an emotional abuse coach and survivor. I take the confusing, contradictory, often ordinary-looking moments inside emotional abuse, coercive control, trauma bonds, narcissistic relationships, and high-conflict separation and slow them down so we can understand what is actually happening.
We look beyond labels and individual incidents to the patterns underneath them: what a behavior does, what it gets you to do in response, what happens when you resist it, and what you eventually learn to believe about yourself.
Because emotional abuse doesn’t only hurt. It can change the way you communicate, make decisions, respond to conflict, interpret other people’s behavior, and trust your own perception.
Here, we talk about gaslighting, manipulation, trauma bonding, intermittent reinforcement, coercive control, high-conflict divorce, post-separation abuse, difficult co-parenting dynamics, and the process of rebuilding self-trust after a relationship that taught you to doubt yourself.
But this isn’t a podcast about diagnosing every difficult person or telling you that every conflict is abuse. It’s about understanding the pattern.
What happened? What did it make you do? Why did your response make sense at the time? And what changes once you can finally see the mechanism underneath it?
You are not crazy. There is an explanation.
Let’s find it.
Learn more about Jessica’s work and resources at emotionalabusecoach.com.

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