Your Secret Is Safe With Me

It's reasonable to have hopes, wishes, and desires in any relationship. However, trying to coerce, cajole, or threaten your partner into getting what you want is never the solution. Whether you feel pulled to issue your infidelity partner an ultimatum, or find yourself on the receiving end of one, this episode covers both sides of the coin.

Join me this week to hear what you must recognize if you are thinking about issuing an ultimatum and how to navigate receiving an ultimatum in your affair relationship. I'm highlighting three main reasons people issue ultimatums, the subtle but key difference between ultimatums and boundaries, and why boundaries are the secret to feeling empowered, regardless of the actions your partner takes.

Get full show notes and more information here: https://mariemurphyphd.com/165

Are you worried about cheating on your affair partner? Is that even possible? This is a real dilemma that my clients bring up, so if you can relate, you are definitely not alone.

What counts as cheating in this scenario can vary from person to person. However, there are three super common situations that my clients bring up, and I'm diving into all three this week. Tune in to explore how you may have gotten into this situation and what to do next.

Get full show notes and more information here: https://mariemurphyphd.com/164

Breaking up with partners is something most people lack experience in. Whether your breakup is the result of infidelity, you're breaking up with an affair partner, or you've just decided that you no longer want to be in a relationship, this episode is for you.

Dr. Marie Murphy is discussing whether it's better to take a breadcrumbs or a bombshell approach to breaking up with someone, and she's sharing how to decide which approach will work best for your specific situation.

Get full show notes and more information here: https://mariemurphyphd.com/163

Your time and energy are limited, and when you don't make decisions quickly and effectively, you're wasting both. Infidelity situations are often fraught with difficult decisions, and people have real trouble deciding what they want. Sometimes people think there's value in taking time to think things over. But is that actually objectively true?

Dr. Marie Murphy is discussing how humans tend to stall making decisions under the guise of considering their options, how you may have started to identify as someone who is indecisive, and how to start becoming more decisive.

Get full show notes and more information here: https://mariemurphyphd.com/162

The problem with dismissing your desires because of potentially reckless outcomes is not going to help you decide what you really want. If you are faced with wanting to make a decision about your infidelity and you're worried that it may lead to a reckless outcome, this episode is for you.

Dr. Marie Murphy is helping you see your thoughts about your behavior being reckless, sharing why there is no real defined criteria for recklessness, and showing you how to start working through your thoughts about your perceived reckless behavior.

Get full show notes and more information here: https://mariemurphyphd.com/161

Why does cheating on your fiancé present a particularly complex situation? Of course, not everybody puts marriage and monogamy together, but if you're formally planning to marry someone and you're engaging in some sexual or romantic behavior that your fiancé wouldn't be happy to find out about, today's episode is for you.

Discover the obvious and subtle reasons why cheating on your fiancé presents a stressful situation, how the pressure to get married can prevent you from making a decision you actually feel good about, and Dr. Marie Murphy is sharing her advice on how to decide what you really want out of your relationships.

Get full show notes and more information here: https://mariemurphyphd.com/160

When you can break down your infidelity situation into individual worries, questions, hopes, decisions, and actions, you can start deciding what you want to do one piece at a time. However, when you're in an agitated state, breaking your experience down becomes incredibly challenging.

Discover why you can't eat the elephant that is your infidelity situation in one bite. Dr. Marie Murphy is showing you how to consider breaking your complicated infidelity situation down into manageable chunks and sharing how to start making decisions about your infidelity systematically, one step at a time.

Get full show notes and more information here: https://mariemurphyphd.com/159

This week's episode is all about learning how to forgive yourself when you fall short of your own expectations, and forgiving others when things don't work out the way you'd hoped or expected. Forgiveness in this form is powerful, especially when negotiating an infidelity situation. However, there are some nuances you need to be clear about before you start forgiving yourself or anyone else in your life.

Dr. Marie Murphy is discussing why believing you should be forgiving can make you even more resentful, and showing you how to decide to forgive yourself or someone else for the best possible reasons or decide that forgiveness isn't necessary.

Get full show notes and more information here: https://mariemurphyphd.com/158

If you're in the midst of an infidelity situation, there are plenty of opportunities for you to think of yourself as an asshole. Humans tend to be terrified of the idea that other people won't like them, but they're particularly terrified that the people they love might think they're a total asshole. However, have you ever stopped and considered the possibility that you might be an asshole?

Dr. Marie Murphy is unpacking the idea that just because someone else thinks you're an asshole, that doesn't mean you are an asshole. She's also discussing the problem of trying to actively avoid anyone taking issue with your behavior and how to start taking more responsibility by accepting that being an asshole at some point in your life is inevitable.

Get full show notes and more information here: https://mariemurphyphd.com/157

This week, Marie is going in-depth on the things for which you and your affair partner need to take collective responsibility, and the things your affair partner has to take sole responsibility for themselves.

Discover the areas where you and your affair partner need to be on the same page. Learn about communication regarding what each party wants, and the significant issues that can arise from relying on rigid agreements in an affair relationship.

Get full show notes and more information here: https://mariemurphyphd.com/156