Bitch Is A Bad Word: A Domestic Violence Podcast on Healing and Empowerment

What if the story everyone thought they knew was only half the truth?

In this episode of Bitch Is a Bad Word’s Bitch Sesh, Lindsay sits down with Sarma Melngailis the woman the world met as the “Bad Vegan” but who lived something far more complex behind closed doors.

From the high of running New York’s hottest vegan restaurant to the collapse that followed, Sarma opens up about love, deception, public shaming, and the long road back to herself all while revealing the real meaning behind that now-famous duck tattoo.

What began as a fairy-tale partnership with a mysterious man spiraled into manipulation, coercion, and betrayal that left her questioning everything including her own reality.

Now, Sarma’s here to reclaim her story in her own words.

Inside This Episode:

• What really happened behind the Bad Vegan headlines

• How charm and control can disguise emotional and psychological abuse

• The price of public humiliation and the path to redemption

• Why women are often vilified for believing in love

• The unexpected wisdom that comes from losing everything

Why this episode matters:

Sarma’s story is a wake-up call about the power of persuasion, the cost of silence, and the courage it takes to start again when the world has already decided who you are. It’s about owning your narrative duck tattoo and all.

If you’ve ever been misjudged, misunderstood, or manipulated into forgetting your worth this one’s for you.

Need Help?

If you or someone you love is experiencing domestic violence, call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or visit thehotline.org.

Trigger Warning: This episode contains discussions of emotional abuse, coercive control, and public shaming. Please take care while listening.

We’ve got your back, besties!

PURCHASE Sarma's New Tell-All: https://thegirlwiththeducktattoo.com/

FOLLOW Sarma on IG: https://www.instagram.com/sarmamelngailis/?hl=en

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CLICK HERE FOR JAFARI LAW'S FREE GUIDE TO USING PARENTING APPS

Leaving your abusive marriage or relationship may be the hardest step but picking the right lawyer may be the most important. You don't need someone who just knows the law but also understands what you've been through and the manipulative tactics your abuser will employ with the judge and with you. You need someone who knows your court, your judge and how "to read the room" to help you get what you are fighting for.

Padideh Jafari is a trauma informed Family Law and Divorce Lawyer in Southern California who specializes working with victims of domestic abuse, domestic violence, narcissistic abuse, verbal abuse and coercive control. She lays out for you what you need to look for in an attorney and why choosing not just a good lawyer but an attorney who understands the mentality of your abuser and your judge is so important.

Together they cover:

- How to tell if a lawyer understands domestic violence and coercive control

- Red flags to avoid when meeting with lawyers

- How abusers weaponize the legal system against you (and what to do about it)

- The truth about litigation abuse, custody court, and financial manipulation

This episode is your legal survival guide—whether you’re newly separated or stuck in a court battle that just won’t end.

Need Help?

If you or someone you love is experiencing domestic violence, call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or visit thehotline.org.

ABOUT PADIDEH JAFARI, ESQ.

Padideh Jafari, Esq. is the Founder and CEO of Jafari Law & Mediation Office which is a Family Law and Divorce firm with offices in Los Angeles and Orange County. Attorney Jafari is a practicing lawyer for over 22 years. She is a former NYU and Southern California Institute of Law adjunct professor. She is the Podcast co-host of, the Narcissist Abuse Recovery Channel on iHeart Radio and Spotify.

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What if the man who vowed to protect and serve was the one you needed protection from?

In this episode of Bitch Is a Bad Word's BItch Sesh, Lindsay sits down with Berkely a former police wife whose 15-year marriage began with fast love and ended in a high-stakes fight for freedom. From behind the thin blue line, Berkley takes us deep into a world where power, control, addiction, and silence reigned supreme.

What started as a whirlwind romance with a charming detective slowly unraveled into a life of manipulation, opioid abuse, financial control, and isolation. She was told to trust the system. Instead, she was targeted by it.

Now, she’s here to tell the story the badge tried to bury.

• The subtle red flags of coercive control (and why they’re so easy to miss)

• How addiction and authority collided behind closed doors

• What it’s really like being a cop’s wife in a small, insulated community

• When the “justice system” turns a blind eye

• How Berkley broke free and used her voice to protect her children

Why this episode matters:

Berkey's story is a gut-check for anyone who’s ever questioned their reality behind closed doors. It’s about waking up to the truth, reclaiming your voice, and surviving a system that protects power not people. And if you’ve ever felt alone in your marriage, misunderstood in your motherhood, or trapped in the image of someone else's “perfect” life, this one’s for you. 

Trigger Warning: This episode contains discussions of child sexual abuse (SA), domestic abuse, addiction, and coercive control. Please take care while listening.

We've got your back besties!

Need Help?

If you or someone you love is experiencing domestic violence, call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or visit thehotline.org.

ABOUT BERKELY

Imagine a country girl from the Midwest, building a life centered on family. Now imagine that life being upended by the very person who vowed to protect it. Berkely is a mother of three kids in middle and high school, and a 'bonus mom' to three wonderful young women in their twenties. She endured not only the abuse of power within her marriage and the local police department but also the shocking complicity of the court system that was supposed to offer justice. Her journey to healing has been profound. Berkely is a woman on a mission to expose the hidden trauma of power abuse within the court system. After escaping a marriage marked by control and manipulation, she found herself fighting a second battle in the courts against her ex-husband. A proud Indigenous Native country girl at heart, she now lives her best life on a small farm, finding peace and healing among her children, her fiancé, farm animals, and her beloved sphynx, Lady Talalluah Danbury. Deeply in tune with the energy of others and the spirit world, she is using her unique perspective to help others find their voice. She is currently channeling her experiences along with her eldest daughter co-authored in a rediscovering their past to process their trauma and pave a new path forward. She is learning how to tell her story of resilience, spiritual strength, and reclaiming your power after profound betrayal. She has only recently begun sharing her side of the story in hopes to find peace and healing in helping others from experiencing the same horror she experienced. 

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From Survivor to Lawyer to Family Court Judge - no one knows the ins and outs of the Family Court system than Michele Locke. Too often, survivors are told by their attorneys to keep quiet about the abuse they suffered and that it turns off the judge. And too often, survivors capitulate to manipulative maneuvers their abusers thrust on them, continuing the cycle of abuse in court.

Michele - a former Judge turned podcaster - discusses how to find the right attorney who understands YOU and what YOU'VE gone through and will navigate the arcane family law legal system for you. You need to find someone who understands what you've been through, is empathic to your experiences, and knows how to navigate the family court system so you don't compromise.

Need Help?

If you or someone you love is experiencing domestic violence, call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or visit thehotline.org.

About Michele

PODCAST: LOVELUSTLAW

MICHELE LOCKE is a former Associate Court Judge and experienced family law

attorney with a mission to demystify the court system and make it accessible and

equitable for all-regardless of background or socioeconomic status. With a

23-year legacy and having presided over 5,000 cases, Michele is a powerful voice

for families, survivors of domestic violence, and marginalized communities.

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TRIGGER WARNING: This episode contains conversations regarding self-harm, suicidal thoughts, and suicide.

The Trauma Bond. It's hard to see the forest for the trees when you're in the middle of a constant emotional onslaught. That is Quinn's story, our guest on today's Bitch Is A Bad Word: Bitch Sesh. Like many of us, Quinn didn't know she was in an abusive marriage, being torn in so many directions she didn't know what was up until after the divorce, when she could put some distance between she and her ex, with reflection.

Quinn's story is important for all of us because when you're standing in the middle of a battlefield, being assaulted constantly on all sides, it's almost impossible to tell where you stand and what's really going on. However, if you're able to pull yourself out, place yourself on a hill above the fray, you can see what's really happening below. And that is what we want to help you recognize if you are or find yourself in Quinn's relationship.

All abusers use different tactics to control and Quinn's ex used emotional manipulation.  He would use tactics to draw her in, such as love bombing, "randomly" bumping into her (when he was really stalking), and coming up with excuses to see her when separated ("I'm dropping off food for you and the kids"), that would become prolonged engagements that evolved into excuses why he shouldn't or couldn't leave. And when Quinn pushed him away too hard, her ex would become violent with financial threats, harm to her and the kids, and suicide. It was a constant emotional rollercoaster, meant to draw her in and keep her attached to him with ebbs and flows of kindness and love that turned into threats, coercion, and control, and back again.

Listening to Quinn's story helps us identify these tactics used in our own relationships, either ones used against us or ones we may use ourselves, so when we're in the thick of it, that memory of listening to her story will cause that lightbulb go off in our heads and we realize what's really going on, helping us break the cycle of domestic abuse and domestic violence.

Need Help?

If you or someone you love is experiencing domestic violence, call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or visit thehotline.org.

ABOUT QUINN

Quinn Padilla is a licensed therapist, abuse recovery coach, and mother of three who brings both her personal journey as an abuse survivor and her professional expertise to the work she does. Through her practice, she helps women heal from abuse and post-separation abuse, blending education with practical tools for recovery. Quinn also shares accessible guidance and support through Instagram and TikTok as @itsquinnpadilla, reaching women across the world with resources to help them feel seen and empowered. She is the creator of Breaking the Trauma Bond, a course designed to help women understand the cycle of abuse, regulate their nervous systems, and break free from trauma bonds. Learn more about her course through her bio on Instagram or to work with her one on one visit www.itsquinnpadilla.com. 

emotional abuse, gaslighting, psychological manipulation, domestic abuse, domestic violence, narcissist

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Trauma doesn't just affect your mind and spirit - it can deeply affect your body, manifesting as chronic illnesses. And now there is scientific evidence linking the two - if we work on healing the trauma, the body recovers, too.

Adriana Bucci is a life coach and narcissistic abuse survivor who helps people untangle the invisible threads between trauma, toxic relationships, and chronic pain.

She shares how growing up with a narcissistic mother, and later dating narcissistic partners, left her carrying pain in ways she didn’t even realize. We talk about the mind-body connection — how years of gaslighting, repression, and emotional abuse can show up as migraines, autoimmune flare-ups, skin conditions, or chronic illness. And most importantly, Adriana explains how healing your emotions can begin to heal your body.

We cover practical tools like journaling safely (without fear of your abuser reading it), the Gray Rock Method, and how to reclaim your energy from someone who only wants to drain it. Adriana reminds us that anger is not our enemy — it’s our body’s way of saying enough.

Get Adriana's 7 STEPS GUIDE FREE HERE

Adriana's LINKS

ABOUT ADRIANA BUCCI

Adriana is the founder of Let's Get Your Shift Together. After nearly 3 decades of enduring narcissistic abuse and 4 years of dealing with severe chronic pain - I had to make the choice to embark on my own healing journey.

Doing my inner work not only helped me heal from the physical pain I went through, but it also helped me heal from the narcissistic abuse I endured from being raised by a narcissistic mother, other close relationships, and even colleagues/toxic workplaces (they were everywhere!).

My own healing journey inspired me to become a life coach so I could help other people. My certifications include:

• Certified Professional Life Coach
• Certified Mind Body Fitness Coach
• Certified Stress Management coach
• Certified SafeSpace Trauma Informed Facilitator

My goal is to empower survivors of narcissistic abuse to heal, set boundaries, and live life on their own terms!

Need Help?

If you or someone you love is experiencing domestic violence, call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or visit thehotline.org.

Narcissistic abuse recovery

Domestic violence survivor story

Toxic relationship healing

Mind-body connection trauma

Gray Rock Method

Chronic pain and abuse

Coercive control in relationships

Emotional abuse recovery tools

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⚠️ Trigger Warning: This episode contains real accounts of domestic violence, coercive control, stalking, knife attack, and self-defense. Listener discretion strongly advised.

Terra Newell and her sister desperately tried to get her mom, Debra Newell, to leave her stepfather. Sometimes it worked, but only temporarily at best. Debra would always go back.

Then on August 20, 2016, Terra was ambushed and stabbed by her stepfather—the infamous conman, abuser, and psychopath John Meehan, known worldwide as “Dirty John.” Despite her injuries, Terra fought back, wrestled the knife away, and killed her attacker in a desperate act of self-defense. Her courage ended the terrifying cycle of abuse that threatened her, her mother, and her sister.

The Dirty John story is a global true crime sensation—first reported by the LA Times, then adapted into a top-charting podcast, a Bravo TV series starring Eric Bana and Connie Britton, and multiple documentaries. Unfortunately, these stories have never been told by those who lived it. The podcast and TV show were based on the article, not on conversations with John's victims. A miscarriage of justice.

Terra is here today with us telling her story, in her own words. And it's powerful. She is a true "Baddie", empowered by a glowing personality emoldened by wit and humor that is a necessity for someone that has survived multiple traumas and her own domestic abuse and violence relationships. Yet she and her sister watched helplessly as their empowered, successful mother was love-bombed and manipulated into marriage by a master manipulator. Like so many caught in cycles of narcissistic abuse and coercive control, they struggled to convince their mom to escape before it was too late.

In this episode, Terra exposes the red flags she saw early, the isolation tactics John Meehan used, and the terrifying escalation that led to a life-or-death confrontation. She reveals what it’s really like to be trapped by a psychopath, how she and her sister tried to fight back, and what it took to survive a near-fatal attack.

We are very thankful Terra chose to share her story with us.

At 25, Terra survived and killed serial predator John Meehan—aka Dirty John—changing her life forever. She’s now a leading survivor advocate, ethical podcasting coach, trauma-informed yoga teacher, and founder of a nonprofit for domestic violence survivors. Terra has been featured on Dateline, People Magazine, Women of Impact, and more, using her voice to raise awareness about coercive control, narcissistic abuse, and survivor empowerment.

🎧 Listen to Terra’s podcast: TERRA’S BADDIES CLUB

If you or someone you love is experiencing domestic violence, call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or visit thehotline.org.

• How abusers use charm, lies, and love bombing to gain control
• The warning signs and tactics of coercive control that tear families apart
• What it’s really like to be targeted by a psychopath inside your own home
• The moment Terra fought back—and her journey of trauma recovery and healing
• Practical steps for escaping domestic violence and reclaiming your power

Terra Newell, Dirty John, domestic violence survivor story, true crime, narcissistic abuse, coercive control, psychopath survivor, self-defense, domestic abuse recovery, toxic relationships, love bombing, manipulation tactics, escaping domestic violence, warning signs of abuse, survivor empowerment

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She thought she married a charming, successful man. Instead, she ended up trapped in a controlling, emotionally abusive marriage that nearly broke her.

In this episode of Bitch Is A Bad Word, journalist and divorce coach Amy Polacko opens up about her own experience with a covert narcissist—a partner who manipulated, isolated, and gaslit her behind closed doors. She explains how smart, accomplished women like her often find themselves stuck in relationships that look perfect on the outside but feel like walking on eggshells inside.

Amy helps women spot the warning signs of abuse most people miss—especially when there are no bruises. From love bombing to emotional control, this conversation dives deep into the red flags that survivors often don’t recognize until it's too late.

Whether you’re wondering:

- “Why does my partner blame me for everything?”

- “Is it really abuse if there’s no violence?”

- “Why do I feel trapped, scared, and exhausted?”

This episode will help you name what’s happening, understand the tactics of abusers, and realize you’re not alone.

🔊 Trigger Warning: This episode discusses emotional abuse, control, manipulation, gaslighting, narcissistic relationships, and trauma.

📞 If you need immediate help, call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233.

ABOUT AMY POLACKO

Amy is a divorce coach and award-winning journalist who survived a narcissist nightmare. She empowers women to be the CEO of their own divorce. Amy has coached hundreds of women in toxic relationships and writes for national news outlets about coercive control, domestic abuse, divorce, online dating and singlehood. Her work has been featured in HuffPost, The Washington Post, Newsweek, NBC News THINK, The Independent, New York Observer and Ms. magazine. She co-authored the groundbreaking book FRAMED: Women in the Family Court Underworld with Dr. Christine Cocchiola which exposes the gender bias in our family court system (www.narcfreepress.com). Learn more about Amy at www.freedomwarrior.info and on Instagram @freedomwarriortribe

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In Part 2 of Lynn’s story, we explore a chilling truth many survivors face: the abuse doesn’t stop when the relationship ends. It just moves to the courtroom.

Lynn’s ex didn’t just gaslight and control her at home—he took that manipulation into family court, painting himself as the victim, filing false reports, and using the legal system to financially drain and emotionally torture her.

In this episode of Bitch Is a Bad Word, Lynn shares:

• How her ex used false CPS claims and restraining orders to gain power
• What it’s like to be revictimized by the family court system
• How legal abuse becomes a weapon for narcissists
• The emotional toll of being trapped in a system that doesn’t believe you

If you’ve ever felt like the courts weren’t protecting you—or were actively being used against you—this episode will speak directly to your experience.

🛑 Trigger Warning: Topics include family court abuse, false accusations, custody battles, and post-separation legal control.

ABOUT LYNN

Now a speaker and advocate with the National Domestic Violence Hotline’s Storyteller Collective and Advisory Council, Lynn uses her voice to help others see the red flags sooner and find the courage to get out.

If you’re stuck in a cycle of leaving and returning, this story will help you feel seen—and show you that you're not alone.

⚠️ Trigger Warning: Topics include emotional abuse, trauma bonding, gaslighting, and the emotional aftermath of leaving an abusive relationship.

📞 If you need immediate help, call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233.

domestic abuse survivor story

reproductive coercion podcast

trauma bonding and abuse

strangulation warning signs

intimate partner violence

emotional abuse survivor

escaping domestic violence

coercive control in relationships

survivor stories podcast

National Domestic Violence Hotline

B!tch Is A Bad Word: A Podcast On Domestic Abuse is a podcast about identifying and navigating your way through and out of Domestic Violence and Domestic Abuse, hosted by a survivor of Domestic Abuse.

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What is a narcissist—really? How do they act? How do they trap you? And how do you begin to break free once you realize the truth?

In this episode of Bitch Is a Bad Word, therapist and narcissistic abuse expert Vanessa Reiser breaks it down: what narcissism looks like, why it’s so confusing at first, and how to spot the patterns before it's too late.

Vanessa’s knowledge isn’t just clinical—it’s personal. After surviving her own relationship with a narcissist, she committed her life to helping others recognize the red flags she once missed.

Whether you're asking:

“Am I dating a narcissist?”

“Why do I feel crazy in this relationship?”

“What is narcissistic abuse?”

“Why can’t I leave even though I’m unhappy?”

This episode is for you.

⚠️ Trigger Warning:

Includes personal stories and professional insight on narcissistic abuse, gaslighting, emotional manipulation, love bombing, and trauma bonding.

📞 If you or someone you know is in danger, call The National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 or text START to 88788.

ABOUT Vanessa Reiser:

Instagram: Vanessa Reiser’s IG - @vanessareiserlcsw

Twitter: Vanessa Reiser’s TW - @vprockland

https://tellatherapist.net/

Guest Bio:

Vanessa Reiser is a mother, entrepreneur, life coach, advocate, and a ground breaking psychotherapist specializing in narcissistic abuse using Therapist Self-Disclosure (TSD); a form of therapy where therapist statements are shared that reveal something personal about the therapist, when an opportunity to create validation exists. Vanessa is licensed in NY, NJ, MA & FL and made international headlines when she ran the entire state of New York in a wedding dress to raise awareness for narcissistic abuse in May 2021. Her days are spent supporting those traumatized by this insidious form of domestic violence.

what is a narcissist

narcissistic abuse explained

am I dating a narcissist

signs of narcissistic behavior

gaslighting and love bombing

emotional abuse in relationships

narcissistic relationship red flags

Vanessa Reiser narcissist survivor

how narcissists trap you

trauma bond recovery

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