Conversations About Divorce

How our children cope with divorce is front and foremost for many parents: none of us want our children to be harmed by the end of our marriage and their future well-being can be a major influence on the timing of divorce.

Parenting after divorce isn’t by definition more difficult than parenting while married but it does often mean that differences between you and your child’s other parent are magnified. Resolving these differences is frequently easier said than done but not allowing them to become a source of conflict is key to your child’s well-being.

Joining Mandy to discuss some proven ways to approach the most common parenting problems after divorce is  California-based psychologist, Dr. Erica Reischer. Reischer is the author of the book, What Great Parents Do: 75 Simple Strategies For Raising Kids Who Thrive. Find out more about Dr. Erica’s work at her website DrEricaR.com.

Want to find out more about the impact of divorce on parenting? Download Mandy’s free audio program, What You Need To Know About Parenting And Divorce.

 

Most people, even those who initiate divorce, come through it feeling pain and hurt. The source of that pain maybe their spouse, third parties and even themselves. Without working through that pain and hurt, the danger is that we become bitter and resentful and that becomes a barrier to enjoying life.

The key to healing is forgiveness. It’s challenging and difficult work but Forgiveness Coach, Emily Hooks knows from  her personal experience that the benefits are worth it.

Join Mandy and Emily Hooks to learn the common misunderstandings about forgiveness, the reasons why people don’t forgive and what forgiveness looks like.

Emily Hooks is a forgiveness coach and the author of the soon-to-be published book, The Power of Forgiveness: A Guide To Healing And Wholeness. You can read more about Emily’s work at her website.

Are you angry with your spouse? Feeling this is the final straw? Wondering if your marriage is over? Sign up for Mandy’s FREE course, Is Divorce The Answer and find out.

We all know that relationships need care and feeding to make them last and most people don’t get married thinking they will get divorced. So when the marriage is troubled, we agonize over what to do. Can the relationship change? When is enough, enough? Are we making a mistake?

Every relationship may be different but there are some common reasons people give for ending their marriage. Mid-life relationship expert, Jed Diamond joins Mandy to discuss these common reasons, what’s really going on and whether people have the opportunity to turn disillusionment into real lasting love.

Jed Diamond’s latest book, The Enlightment Marriage: The 5 Transformative Stages of Relationships and Why The Best Is Still to Come is available on Amazon. Diamond has developed 10 Indicators that a relationship is over and you can get those by emailing Jed at [email protected].

If you know your marriage is over and are looking for help with the next steps, check out Mandy’s online divorce coaching program, My Divorce Pal. You can also find more divorce resources at Mandy’s blog, Since My Divorce

Everyone files a tax return and that means there are some basic tax issues that face everyone getting divorced. These are often overlooked or not addressed until the divorce negotiations are nearing completion.

By that time, your choices may already be limited. Even worse, you may be suffering with negotiation fatigue and make agreements without the benefit of prior research and full understanding.

This Conversation will help you avoid that. Listen in to find out what your divorce could mean for your tax filing status, what you need to consider for tax payments and refunds that are due and some key points about the child tax exemption.

Joining Mandy for this Conversation is Shawn Leamon, a certified divorce financial analyst and author of the book, Divorce And Your Money: The No Nonsense Guide which is available on Amazon.

Anyone with a pet understands that people become emotionally attached to their animals and that bond can as strong as the bond we make with human friends.

Yet, the law, for the most part sees pets as property,  to be divided as the household furniture is to be divided.

That sets the stage for lose-win settlements. Judges, even those who have pets and can empathize with divorcing parties, are bound by the law. Ordering arrangements that recognize and take into account the emotional attachments of both parties could get them into trouble. So one party typically gets the pet and other doesn’t. That’s a win-lose.

Far better, for the parties, and probably the pets, to work out an arrangement without going to court. And you can be very creative!

Mandy’s guest for this Conversation is Chicago-based attorney, mediator and educator Karen Covy. Karen has handled a number of pet custody situations and shares her tips on how to avoid the win-lose option.

Karen offers a Divorce Tool Kit that includes a divorce document checklist, parenting plan provisions, budget worksheets and more. You can register for your copy at KarenCovy.com.

Along with deciding on how to divide your finances, you and your STBX will have to divide all your household items – that’s the furniture, the kitchen gadgets, the stuff in the garage, the pictures on the walls – everything that’s probably part of your day-to-day life.

For some people, this is super easy. They’re ready to walk away from it all. There’s no emotional attachment. For others, it can be about who uses which items the most. Some people take more of a financial view and are keen to feel that the division is equitable.

However it is done, for the vast majority of people, it is never worth litigating this. The legal fees could quickly outweigh the cost of the items.

In this show, Mandy revisits this topic with her interview with Carrie Mitchell of TWS Home Inventory. Listen in to discover the insider’s tips to dividing your household items without losing your mind or your wallet.

Most people would love to save legal fees on their divorce. The first thing that comes to mind is doing without an attorney. While that may save you big time, it’s not always the smartest way to trim costs and it may actually end up costing you more in the long run.

The good news is that there are a number of very simple, easy things you can do that can make a real difference to your legal bill while getting the benefit of legal advice.

Joining Mandy to talk about these money saving strategies is Larry Sarezky, an experienced family law attorney and author, from Fairfield, Connecticut.

Larry’s recently published a book, Divorce, Simply Stated: How To Achieve More, Worry Less and Save Money In Your Divorce, is a easy to understand layman’s guide to the divorce process.

You need to know about these tips before you hire your attorney.

You can find more practical tips on this in Mandy’s free eBook, Untangling From Your Spouse: How To Prepare For Divorce.

We’ve all heard someone say they tried divorce mediation and it didn’t work. The challenge here is whether they were truly part of the small percentage of divorces that do need to be resolved by a judge or if they didn’t take the proper steps to ensure mediation was successful.

There’s a lot more to mediation than just showing up on a certain date at a certain time. It requires a commitment to being properly prepared and being invested in the process. And with the potential to save thousands of dollars in legal fees, mediation can be a very viable alternative to a traditional divorce.

Joining Mandy to discuss ways to make your mediation successful is Joe Dillon from Equitable Mediation. Based in New Jersey and Illinois, Joe and his wife and partner, Cheryl Dillon help divorcing couples complete all the steps to divorce peacefully, fairly and cost-effectively.

Saving money on your legal fees isn’t the only reason to mediate your divorce. Find out more by downloading Joe’s free ebook, 10 Reasons To Mediate Your Divorce.

Deciding when is the best time to file for divorce is a bit like Goldilocks and Three Bears. File too soon and you’ll be faced with having to meet a bunch of court imposed deadlines and making life changing decisions at the time when you’re least emotionally capable.

File too late and you could find yourself with no access to finances, assets that have disappeared and a spouse who has engineered the situation to their complete advantage.

The key is to file when the time is just right and figuring out when that is the topic of this episode’s conversation between Mandy and Larry Sarezky,  an experienced family law attorney and author, from Fairfield, Connecticut.

Larry’s recently published a book, Divorce, Simply Stated: How To Achieve More, Worry Less and Save Money In Your Divorce, is a easy to understand layman’s guide to the divorce process.

For most couples, the marital home is the bulk of their wealth. If one party wants to keep the home, it means buying out the other party. That typically means refinancing. If you’re leaving the home, then you’ll likely be looking to buy another - that means finding financing. Regardless, it’s complicated. What you don’t know could hurt you:
Can you be released from your current mortgage?What is a contingent liability?What is the difference between a Cash Out Refinance and an Equity Buyout?What it takes for spousal support and child support to be considered qualified income?Why is a refund check a contentious issue?
Join Mandy and her guest, Jody Bruns, a senior mortgage consultant with New American Funding as these issues and more.

Bruns is the founder of the Certified Divorce Lending Professional certification program. Find a CDLP near you at the Divorce Lending and Real Estate Association.

Download Jody's free ebook: Divorcing Your Mortgage: Top 10 Things You Should Know About Your Mortgage When Going Through A Divorce.

Are you looking other tips on getting divorced? Download Mandy’s free audio program: What You Need To Know About Divorce Preparations.