Dear Midlife...

Our next guest, Elle Hart, took the phrase "empty nest" to the extreme when she simultaneously sent her children off to college and got divorced at the same time. Girl don't mess around! AND, after raising 3 boys and being a stay-at-home mom for 25 years and without ever having had a real job before, she picked up her life and moved halfway across the country to California, where she began life in MID life from a blank slate. That takes TREMENDOUS guts.

But the thing about adversity is that it brings to light who we are and what we are made of and in this instance, this rang particularly true for Elle. While working in a school, Elle began exploring and became a practitioner of emotional intelligence. During this time, she discovered the Clifton Strengths Finder as a tool to help her identify her natural strengths and gifts, as well as her deficits using this unbiased assessment.

It was this awareness that helped her recognize how she could bring her own gifts into the world to help others. She developed a process that helps her clients gain what she has coined as "self-intelligence". And her natural way of connecting with her clients on such a personalized level helps bring clarity to their strengths and helps them feel empowered every day.

Elle's story is an inspiring example that we are stronger and more courageous than ever as we navigate "the middle" of our lives. It is NEVER too late to understand who YOU are and to find new ways to bring your gifts into this world.

In this episode, Elle teaches us:

1. Live in the present moment. Forgive yourself of the past and the mistakes you may have made. While you can learn from them, you cannot change them. Don't focus too much on trying to control the future. The present moment is all we have.
2. Let go of expectations...the ones you have of other people, the ones other people have of you and the expectations you have of yourself.
3. When you understand your strengths and lean into your gifts, you will feel empowered. Stop trying to be someone you are not. Living in MISalignment may be what has you feeling like you're stuck.
4. When asked to tell others about ourselves, we typically start by listing the roles we play. When you have awareness of your personal strengths and characteristics, you can start the dialogue using terms that demonstrate who YOU are and what you bring to the table.
5. Knowledge is power. Apply your strengths to the 4 foundational areas in life: belief in yourself, your relationships, career path and health and wellness. Sometimes, we can compare our strengths with those who play a prominent role in our lives (spouses/colleagues) to see where our strengths coincide and where they clash. This helps us to build stronger relationships in which we replace "expectations" with "resepectations" and learn to forgive, respect and understand the strengths of others.

You can find more of Elle at:

Website | www.feelempoweredeveryday.com/gps

LinkedIn | @elle-hart

IG | @feelempoweredeveryday

Facebook | feelempoweredeveryday

YouTube | Feel Empowered Everyday

We'd love to know what gifts you're most proud of! Leave us a review or join our FB group. We are here to support one another on this journey together.

While we live on opposite sides of the country and there were years when we were in rare contact with one another, our friendship of 17 years has grown so strong over time.  We truly respect one another's values and perspectives. We each bring our own unique gifts and strengths to the friendship. Trinity has an inner wisdom and fierce confidence that is unparalled.  It's this confidence that makes us feel like we can achieve whatever we set out to do.  And when I say "fierce" ohhh girl! Trinity is everyone's advocate and shares her voice with the eloquence of a powerful orator so that people truly lean in to hear what it is she has to say. She's a natural born leader and has this charisma that people FEEL when she walks in a room. And, best of all, she makes all of us laugh our asses off on a daily basis. Shelby is a natural born nurturer (perhaps, to a fault) and is always eager to listen. Where Trinity is spontaneous, Shelby tends to be more structured and focused and, in this way, there is a balance between them. Shelby has her silly side too and together we laugh often, provide continuous empathy and support to one another and can't imagine life without the other.

And today our guest, Brenda Ridgley, supports women; who have lost themselves in their roles as wife, mother and professional, find their personal tribe of women to lift them up, help them "reparent" their inner child and give to one another the nurturing we seem to be so good at giving to EVERYONE else, but ourselves

And, for so many of us in midlife, we've spent so much of our time giving ourselves over to our spouse, our careers, our children, that we lose who WE are and what is important to us. Brenda helps her clients discover their WHY. So many women at this age and stage in life cannot articulate why they do what they do and their answer to the question "what is your why" or "purpose" is usually ~ my family. Motherhood is noble and important but there needs to be more that is for and about her, the woman.

Brenda is an author, speaker and girlfriend guru who loves helping women connect, find success, and discover joy through friendship. Her mission is to support women who have lost themselves in their roles as wife and mother and encourage them to nurture feminine friendships to build their own Tribe of support. Through her workshops, coaching, retreats, and podcast ~ Find Your Lady Tribe, Brenda helps women connect and communicate with respect, love and trust. She holds an MA in human resources and has spent decades cultivating her own Tribe.

In her book "Lady and the Tribe" Brenda celebrates the power of female friendships, shares insights into the ways they enrich women’s lives and offers strategies for creating, strengthening, and enjoying these relationships to the fullest.

In this episode, Brenda teaches us:

1. We are all put on this earth with out own unique gifts and purpose. To get to your "why" write down what you think it is and then continue to ask "why". Why did you say that? Why is that important? Why would that give you purpose? Keep going until you feel like you've truly gotten to the heart of what is important to you.
2. Ask yourself what would the impact be if you did NOT fulfill your why...go out 5 years and explore how that would make you feel. The goal of the exercise is to help you feel the pain of NOT taking action. Our brains want us to continue what is comfortable and steer clear of what is uncomfortable or "dangerous". So we have to shift our Frame of mind to feeling the "danger" of not changing.
3. If you struggle to find your "why" ask a friend to reflect back to you what they love and appreciate about you.
4. Women need mothering. We mother everyone else, but forget to nurture ourselves. Our tribe of female friends can give us the nurturing we need and can even help us reparent our inner child.
5. Not everyone get tribe status, even if they have been in your life forever. It is a privilege, a right and it can be revoked! But when you DO want to build new relationships, find the time. Put it on your calendar and engage in an activity and place where you can give one another your undivided attention

You can find more of Brenda at:

Website | www.BrendaRidgley.com

Girl...it is OUR goal to create a tribe of women who are striving to navigate midlife so that we do NOT have to go on this crazy journey alone! We are here for you. Let's band together to support one another. Please join our Dear Midlife community on FB or follow us on Instagram and let's do midlife together!

Our guest today, Esther Avant, shares a statistic that 80% of our inner thoughts are negative. She believes, this is one reason it is soo difficult to take what she calls, compassionate ownership, of our health and lives. Esther is a sports nutritionist, personal trainer, health and weight loss coach and Owner of EA Coaching. She provides holistic health and lifestyle coaching and specializes in helping women, generally over 40, reach their health and weight loss goals. She supports them by helping them learn and master the exercise and nutrition "Big Rocks," and taking complex and overwhelming topics (like menopause!) and simplifying them so that the individual feels ready, willing, and able to take meaningful action.

But, our conversation with Esther focuses on so much more than just the obvious aspects of exercise and nutrition and, instead, focuses on the less well understood components of mindset work and lifestyle change.. We take a deep dive into the root cause of our own personal roadblocks to change (in general) and our continuous habit as women to show up for EVERYONE else, BUT ourselves.

Esther teaches us that we have to start to rebuild trust with ourselves by consistently making and then fulfilling the small...then larger commitments we make to ourselves. In doing so...we prove to ourselves that we can show up, withstand things that are difficult, push ourselves out of our comfort zone and thrive. We CAN DO HARD THINGS ladies. We HAVE to do hard things to live the life we aspire to. Esther believes if more women prioritized their health, they’d be able to use those same principles to unleash the confidence and focus they all need to leave their mark on the world

EA Coaching has helped hundreds of women realize that they're not too old, it's not too late, and they don't need to accept, "maybe this is just middle age."

In this episode, Esther teaches us:

1. Making lifestyle changes that stick requires showing ourselves the same compassion and empathy we would show to another person whom we love an care about.
2. Getting to a place where you love your body is a process that takes time. While we're navigating these shifts, take time to control and curate what you're exposed to on social media because what you consume has an impact on your progress and self-talk. The noise is not improving your life.
3. Be intentional about who you surround yourself with and curate your own "advisory board". Taking compassionate ownership of your life and health is easier when the women you surround yourself with are practicing the same habits.
4. We don't realize the number of complex issues at play that prevent us from changing our habits and shifting our lifestyle. These can range from the "food centric" nature of social society to more deeply rooted internal narratives where we tell ourselves we are a priority or that it isn't worth the risk of failing...again.
5. When we continue to make commitments to ourselves and then NOT follow through, we begin to lose trust in ourselves. Taking compassionate ownership of our lives and healths means we have to rebuild trust in ourselves, slowly but surely, and start showing up for ourselves the way we show up for everyone else.

You can find more about Esther at:

Website | www.estheravant.com

Facebook | eawellnesscoaching

Instagram | @esther.avant

Please join our FB Group and follow us on Instagram. Please leave us a review and let us know what is ONE thing YOU will do this week to show up for yourself and start to rebuild your own personal trust. We love you and want you to know that you are not alone. Let's do midlife together and support one another as we strive to live our best lives.

We've been talking for some time about those moments in our lives that have become sticking points for us. What if there was a way that we could let go of those moments and reset our thinking so we can move beyond our own sticking points? Today our guest, Carolina Suero, helps us harness the power of hypnotherapy to do just that. Through this powerful tool, Carolina helps us and others reconnect to the resources already within them to dive deep into our subconscious mind to rewire our negative thoughts. She specializes in working with individuals struggling to resolve issues with abandonment, stress & anxiety, worry & overwhelm, relationships, self-doubt & lack of confidence, limiting beliefs & self-sabotaging behaviors, or just feeling stuck/trapped. 

In our episode today, Carolina explains the subconscious mind and how we can use it to our advantage. She takes us through the process of hypnosis and how it's a GREAT tool for illuminating, accessing, and connecting with our internal power to expand our personal growth, healing, and transformation. It’s safe, natural, efficient, and effective...with a side of relaxation. 

Carolina is a Certified Clinical Hypnotherapist. She’s passionate about helping empower and inspire others to live an amazing life. She works with her clients to help them align their minds for success, own their inner light, and step into their best selves. She does this by helping them clear the subconscious limiting beliefs holding them back from achieving their ultimate vision of personal and professional success. And today we'll share our own personal experiences of how Carolina helped US to resolve our own subconscious narratives to move beyond these traumas and sticking points.

In this episode, Carolina teaches us:

1. We are in hypnosis at lease twice a day, when we are just waking up and when we are falling asleep. So, it is ideal to take advantage of this by winding down our day with positive thoughts and to journal or meditate first thing in the morning.
2. We are only born with 2 fears, the fear of falling and the fear of loud noises. All of our other fears are learned. BUT, anything we can learn we can UNlearn or replace with a new learning.
3. Our conscious mind controls 10% of our choices, while the subconscious mind governs 90%. So, it is primarily the subconscious mind that can sabotage us when trying to adopt better habits and practices by relying on old narratives of what was locked into our subconscious at an early age of what is "safe" or "not safe" what we need and don't need. Hypnosis allows us to bypass this critical filter and reprogram the subconscious.
4. Therapeutic hypnosis allows us to go deep down to access the love, self-worth and hidden messages and associated meanings that live deep within us and were ingrained prior to the development of our critical filter.
5. We always have the power of choice. There is power in knowing we have a CHOICE. Change is a choice. What and who we choose to give energy to, is also a choice. 

You can find more of Carolina at:

IG: @TheCarolinaSuero

Facebook| @thecarolinasuero

Website Offer| https://www.carolinasuero.com

If you're loving this podcast, please join our Facebook Group and follow us on Instagram. Please give us a review on your podcast platform of choice. We want to connect women everywhere because there is power in having a community of like minded women striving to be their best selves in midlife, but we need your support to do so!

Our episode today is about the power of our own stories. It started me thinking, Trin, that we haven't truly shared our own stories with our listener...

So, the question Trininty asks is, "which story should I share?" We have so many sides and facets to our stories. Trinity once was the scared child, born to a white mother and black father who were both part of the black panther movement. The child who was scooped out of school by her mother after she was threatened by her father and fled to live under assumed names. And now...this woman feels like she has to fix everything to keep those around her protected in some way.

Or...then, there's the share the story about Trinity's role as the badass mom and wife, who was the breadwinner of the family keeping it ALL together as she traveled the country in various roles of ever-increasing responsibility. All while, simultaneously, remaining involved in every school project, cheering at every basketball game from 2nd grade through high school and attending every choir performance. OR Did you want to know about the divorced version of Trinity? The previous version of her life looked so perfect to everyone looking in. But, behind that version was the truth of a marriage that was cold, lonely, and desperately broken. This woman left her one-sided marriage, to save her own soul, and to teach her son the love and respect that a woman deserves and to search for peace, joy, and warmth.

And, then, who is Trinity now? She's a corporate executive trying to move a company forward by day, and find meaning, purpose and financial freedom in a side gig so I can live a life of joy and not have to pay penance to "the man" anymore. And what about Shelby?

What story should Shelby share? Our stories are fairly different. Shelby could talk about her nomadic early childhood (which no doubt shaped her outgoing personality) and the young girl who lost her mother at age 7 and who's father quickly remarried a remarkable woman, who was beautiful, perfect and driven for success. Of course, this suited her father, who was an executive for an NFL team. Shelby's stepmom rose from secretary to CEO of her company. So, she had two parents who were busy executives, set high bars for their children and were fantastic role models, but left her feeling like she was never enough....This is where the fiercely independent, over-achieving, people pleaser was born.

Or there's the world traveler Shelby...who has lived and worked around the world In a quest to find herself or maybe to find her worth and build connections with others. It started with an internship in college in Mexico, followed by a world tour with a global program called Up with People and then work in Africa...which she loved, but had to abandon to leave her tumultuous marriage.

Similar to Trinity, Shelby was in a 16 year roller-coaster relationship with a funny, charismatic, alcoholic who was also a covert narcissist and who she thought was the love of her life. However, for anyone who's been in a narcissistic relationship, you can relate to the fact that her husband could be your best friend or worst enemy and she never knew who she was coming home to. She suffered from ongoing mental abuse, (sometimes) physical abuse and gaslighting that kept her small, confused and still causes her to sometimes question her worth. But, these experiences have given Shelby some serious fucking grit, resilience and independence that allowed her to leave that situation and THRIVE on her own.

Today, Shelby is staring down 50 as a single mom raising two teenage girls doing ALL the things with little support. Who is, just like Trinity, a busy executive trying to find her purpose and financial freedom and show her girls that you can live the life you create for yourself.

While we are imperfect...there is sooo much beauty and fucking LIFE in those stories! And, somewhere in there, we found each other...Shelby was the consultant and Trinity was the customer. And, while our career paths diverged for 10 years, our friendship remained strong and we're now partners in our day jobs and working hand in hand to put this podcast out into the world. And our guest today, Monica Wisdom, is and educator, coach and mentor and is here to share with us HER story because telling our story empowers us and also helps others who share fragments of our story know they are not alone.

We know our journey has been sweeter with the strength of our friendship. AND sharing our stories helps us to let go by getting to the core of our triggers and letting go of what is no longer serving us and stepping into our dreams in a whole new way. We become the experiences we believe to be true. Monica reminds us that there is another truth for us to understand, we are powerful divine beings. If we see ourselves in this way, we have a new set of possibilities to explore.

In today's episode, Monica teaches us: 

1. We do not end...we continue....and when we do, we have to ask the question, "why are you still here?"
2. Our story is our superpower. We can write this story to change lives, build businesses, to impact others and it is the one thing we own that no one can take away from us. Why we do and say the things that we do is typically rooted in our story of origin.
3. When you are able to surrender to something bigger than yourself, magic happens.
4. We have to find our own path to healing. Therapy doesn't work for everyone. Take time to find what works for you. Sharing our story and being vulnerable can be the key that unlocks freedom.
5. Everything that comes to us is really just feedback. When you are experiencing a trigger, look into the past to discover the origin of your reaction in that moment. Ask WHY this situation became a trigger.The answer lays in the past.

You can find more of Monica at:

Website | monicawistomhq.com

Instagram | @monicawisdom

Now it's time to tell us YOUR story! We'd love to hear more about you! Please subscribe and leave us a review. Tell us who you are and why you love the Dear Midlife podcast! Our goal is to build a community of women so that we all have someone to turn to when we have a story to share. We want to be able to support women just like you and to let you know YOU are not alone in YOUR journey.

Make sure we're connected at FB | Dear Midlife (join our community on FB!) and IG | @DearMidlife

Hey, hey Cronies! I know you're probably thinking, "bitch, who you calling 'cronie'?" But, in today's episode, we learn the word "Crone" is the honorific way to refer to a woman standing in her power in midlife! Thank goodness for our next guest, Pia Antico, who is a Crone Life Joy Reboot Mentor (say that 5 times fast). She's not only here to give us a little history lesson, but also intuitively guides single, empty-nest women over 40 to ditch their regrets and live unapologetically.

She is definitely our kind of woman! Our girl, Pia, helps women to age "disgracefully" and quit being unwilling bystanders in their own lives. Embracing a Crone Life™️ is all about revolutionizing our experience of midlife, Menopause and beyond by dismantling the internalized misogyny and ageism (ever watch a Disney movie and seen an "older" female portrayed as a "witch" or "evil") that prevents us from living unapologetically authentic, carefree lives of joy and passion.

And talk about living...Pia suffered 'three near deaths before thirty, navigated two abusive marriages and suffered a major head injury but chooses to help herself AND others get past their darkest moments by tapping into their innate well-being. So that they can shine the light of their radiant, joyful wisdom & step into their dreamed-of future; no matter their current circumstances.

In this episode, Pia teaches us that:

1. Crone (or hag) are term that's once referred to a revered elder female. Over time, society has shifted the meaning of these terms to one of derision and this societal definition is ingrained in us over time (think the evil "hag" in the fairytale Snow White).
2. Just like our body is designed to heal an outer wound, our psyche is designed to be resilient! We CAN heal our mind.
3. Sometimes we have to learn to forgive ourselves and others.
4. Our true guidance lies in our heart and gut...it is our inner intuition that we need to learn to tune into and allow it to guide us. Too often we ignore our own intuition
5. Contrary to Descarte's statement, "I think therefore I am" Pia believes only in the "I Am". It is not the 'thinking' that gives us life and existance. it is the knowing that we are enough.

You can find more of Pia at:

Website | essentialawakeningmentoring.com

Podcast | @croneliferevolution.podcast

Make sure we're connected: FB | Dear Midlife and IG | @DearMidlife

If our content really resonates with you, please leave a review on your podcast platform of choice and share an episode with a friend. We genuinely want to expand our reach and share the wisdom of our guests with as many women just like you that we can! We can't do it without your help and support.

Our next guest, Brooke Ritchie, has led a full and diverse life. From living in a trailer park to becoming a nanny to some of the wealthiest people. And, Shelby, we've talked about this before.... the hard thing is...being surrounded by wealth, knowing what IS possible, but then we allow our limiting beliefs to hold us back!

Girlfriend....we KNOW you are out there struggling with some of these same limiting beliefs. We love Brooke's vulnerability to share her story and how she's had to overcome her own limiting beliefs to live her best life as a coach and therapist. And Brooke will say that being a coach and therapist has been her life’s work. It chose her. This calling has now allowed HER to help countless people to embody their true selves and achieve things they had feared were out of reach. 

The good news is: You can change. But, girl...you have to take charge of interrupting old patterns and narratives by committing to doing the deep inner work. As a trauma-informed mindset coach and therapist Brooke helps people overcome self-worth issues & mindset blocks so they can make quantum leaps in every aspect of their lives. Imagine what your life would look like if you actually felt worthy. What conversations would you have? And with who? What kind of money could you make? Where would you spend your vacations? And who would you wake up next to? 

Brooke has a Master’s degree in Somatic Psychology and works as a Registered Associate Marriage and Family Therapist. She is certified as a Neuro-Linguistic Programming Practitioner and is trained in The Mastery Method Coaching, Deep Transformational Coaching, EMDR Therapy, & Regenerating Images in Memory.

Let's just say girl has done it all and in this episode, she walks us through some of the tools and techniques she uses to help her clients achieve the freedom and transformation they seek.

In this episode, Brooke teaches us:

1. When we experience a trauma, it leaves an open loop in our brain. So, each time the brain experiences something similar it catalogues it as a comparable experience and triggers the same feelings as we had during the initial experience...creating these repetitive narratives. We can identify the open loop and reparent that inner child to provide them what they need to close the loop.
2. We can use hypnosis to down shift our brain waves into a slower theta state, taking the frontal cortex offline, so that your brain is operating at the same wave length that it is between the ages of 0-7. In this way you can dig into your subconscious and repeater neural pathways.
3. You are already in hypnosis 2x a day. Right as you are falling asleep and then as you wake up in the morning. These become opportunistic moments to do some. your inner work.
4. EMDR stands for eye movement desensitization reprocessing and is a therapeutic method of using bilateral stimulation of the brain to help the individual reshape the way they think about the traumas that happened to them.
5. In order to expand your thinking and vision a future that is even broader that you know today, you can evaluate who you're spending time with. You absorb the mindset of those you spend your time with. When you expand your circle of friends, you expand your mind.
6. When facing a block or limiting belief, ask yourself: "Is (this block) true?" Then, "Can I absolutely believe it's true?" "How do you react when you think or hear this thought" "If it is not true, what could be possible and who could you be without the thought?"

You can find more of Brooke at:

Facebook | brookieritchie

IG | brookieritchie

LinkedIn

Website Offer| https://www.brookeritchiecoaching.com/

If you love this show....please.subscribe and leave us a review. I keep getting notes through our FB page and email that people are loving this show...but, girl when you leave us a review here it helps boost our show so that other women out there, just like you, can find us.

Make sure we're connected: FB | Dear Midlife and IG | @DearMidlife

Our guest, Philippa Robinson, was under so much stress and pressure that it actually caused her to lose her eyesight!  But, you know....we ALL do it. As women, we put everyone else's priorities ahead of our own. Our needs are ALWAYS the last to be fulfilled...If at ALL, right?!? To our listener out there...we've said this before and we'll say it again...stress and trauma can LIVE in your body and cause all kinds of ailments. In this case, childhood trauma and a hectic career as a lawyer threatened to permanently blind Philippa.

She studied law at university and she spent most of her life and career exploring the UK, while subconsciously seeking "home". I know I'VE felt that way. She thought she'd found her "home" as she settled into a busy law career and homelife in which her hubby, 2 boys and Bob the dog became her priorities. It wasn't until life tapped her on the shoulder and said "hey honey! It's time you took a break and stop living your life to serve everyone else" and sent her a signal she could no longer ignore.

During her own personal transformation, through healing childhood trauma and learning to love and live for herself, she arrived at her soul's mission to guide people to be the truest versions of themselves because she believes that is the greatest gift we can give ourselves. Philippa's message is that she was 47 when she got started!  She wants people to know it's never too late and you're never too old. There's no quick fix but it's worth it.

Understand that your past is most likely affecting how you behave now. The small wounded part of you needs healing so work out what they needed then and how to give it to them now. Pull the inner child close, love them and your life will change. There is freedom and joy on the other side of healing your wounds. 

In today's episode, Philippa reminds us: 

1. Stress and trauma can remain stuck in your body and can cause physical and mental pain.
2. When you do something new for the first time, it will be uncomfortable. Start small and continuously communicate your needs and intentions with loved ones and friends as likely your new choices may be disrupting their lives too
3. It is never too late to heal your trauma and live a life you love. Again, there is no quick fix, but taking bold steps may save your sanity or even your quality of life.
4. You are the only person you will be with for the whole of your life and the greatest gift is to know ourselves, what we love, what makes us tick, what is our purpose.
5. To find a bit of joy everyday.

You can find more of Philippa at:

Website | https://Safeandsupported.co.uk

IG | @safeandsupportedcoaching

Please make sure we're connected at: FB | Dear Midlife and IG | @DearMidlife

Dear friend! If you're loving this show, please leave a review and share the show with a friend. We rely on your support and feedback to continue to bring you amazing content. xo

Our guest today was born into the circus and became the youngest paid clown at the age of 3, survived a near death experience being mauled by a puma, was bullied throughout his life, attempted suicide and overcame series of addictions.

Holy shit...Jonathan Royle has lived like 10 lifetimes in just the short span of 47 years...yes, ladies. He's right here with us all smack in the middle of life! Through the lens of levity and experience, Jonathan shares with us some profound insights as we talk about his personal trauma and what he did to overcome his own challenges.

Jonathan brings both humor and a wealth of knowledge to the show as a celebrity hypnotherapist, Master NLP hypnosis trainer and author of the book "Shitnosis" which helps readers "get over the shit in their life and get their shit together".

Today, Jonathan joins "our circus" and teaches us:

1. Hypnosis is when a pattern interrupt disorients the pre-frontal cortex or logical mind so that suggestion can slip past into the subconscious
2. Hypnosis is the correct use of verbal and non-verbal communication techniques to emotionally and psychologically manipulate people into stopping doing the things they DON'T want to do or to START doing the things they do.
3. To heed how your brain processes the information you give it. The law of reversed effort which says that what resists, persists. You get more of what you focus on in life. Also, mind the "order principle" which says do or do not...there is no "try".
4. You don't have your "critical thinking faculty" until about teenage years...so all traumas get beyond that rational mind before it is fully formed and are embedded in the subconscious
5. You cannot delete the negative memories, but CAN delete the negative charge associated with these negative memories and traumas

You can find more ofJonathan at:

Website | https://www.magicalguru.co.uk

(seriously...check out Jonathan's website and some of his old stage videos)

Twitter | @roylehypnotist

Girl...if you have your own shit to get over, this episode is for you. And now we will use Jonathan's persuasive techniques to "will" you to leave a review for this show and let us know what shit you want to get through and how this podcast inspires you!

Make sure we're connected at: FB | Dear Midlife and IG | @DearMidlife 

Have you ever been asked to go out to a club or dinner with a friend on a Friday night...and there was a part of you that wanted to go and a part of you that wanted to stay home? Sometimes on Friday night...we are so exhausted and just shut down, but then equally want to get out of the house! Both of us spend so much time working from home...that sometimes we can feel physically torn about staying home or going out.

Raise your hand if you feel the same way?! Today our guest, Maureen Clancy helps us understand that this is because that there are, in fact, different parts within us. These "parts" were created (typically in our younger years) to protect us from trauma because we didn't have the external support or tools to manage some situations which were too much, too fast, too soon or too long.

And, sometimes these parts rule our lives and don't realize that we are now grown and capable women. When our survival response gets triggered, they can continue to try to protect us when our, sometimes to our detriment. Ladies...these "parts" or old narratives that you used in childhood to protect you no longer serve you in adulthood and could be the VERY things holding you back from living a life you love! What is your inner critic saying to you?

Maureen Clancy is a licensed therapist, group therapy practice owner, and trauma expert who, for the past 21 years, has been helping women who’ve experienced childhood trauma heal the past and fully embody the present.

She’s the creator of the Gate Passages Framework, a structured, bottom-up approach to healing trauma. She’s certified in a variety of healing modalities and in this episode, we spend time discussing Internal Family Systems, and her practice of combining therapy with Reiki, Tarot, and flower essences to heal the energetic body.

She’s presented on trauma and self-care at Rutgers University Graduate School of Social Work and Limerick Institute of Technology School of Social Care (County Clare, Ireland).

This episode is soo juicy as Trinity comes to a fascinating realization about herself. And in this space, perhaps this recognition is the first step to her own healing journey.

In this episode Maureen teaches us to: 

1. Recognize where we are in our "survival" response, which includes not only the (traditional) fight, flight or freeze...but, also fawn (I will survive if I make sure you're ok), collapse (there's nothing I can do here so I'm just going to exist), submit (I'm giving in and waiting for this to get over with) and cry for help. These were developed early in life as your strategy to help you survive (The "fawn" really resonated with Trinity)
2. Understand the definition of trauma or that which is too much, too fast, too soon or too long, and how we've adapted to navigate it by developing different parts of ourselves to protect us from certain situations.
3. Recognize the different "parts" within ourselves that try to protect us, in addition to our current, adult "Self".  As we grow into adulthood, our parts continue to try to protect us, holding us back, even though we may no longer need protection. Today, we learn to show compassion to those parts, thank them for their "service" and reassure them we are grown and capable now.
4. Acknowledge when our nervous system is disregulated and we're in hyper or hypoarrousal. In this state, access to our prefrontal cortex is inhibited. Move your body to help up-regulate you and pull you out of hyper or hypoarrousal. Take a walk, dance in your kitchen, do some yoga...this helps regulate your nervous system.
5. Leverage a bottom-up approach (vs. top down) to healing trauma. Using your senses, such as smelling essential oils, and moving your body will open space to connect to our parts, while also turning off the survival response.

You can find more of Maureen at:

Website | maureen-clancy.com

IG | @themaureenclancy

TikTok | @maureen.clancy

And we'd love YOU to join us on this journey as well! Leave us a review. Tell us about your inner critic (another one of our damn parts that we all have!). What's her name? What does she say to you that holds you back?

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