Freedom from Attachment

Excitement and anxiety are two different things. Many of us end up in anxiety-producing situations, whether it is a relationship, a situation or just figments in our own minds. We make decisions based on this anxiety, and for many of us, we try to associate it with something that's causing unhappiness. But it’s not always about a specific situation; it can be an internal interpretation of multiple events.

Fear runs most of us and anxiety is often a harbinger of some imagined future fate, whether in our personal relationships, careers or what we believe the world is coming to. Anxiety usually tells us something is uncertain, or that we lack control. Learn more about how it works, and what you can do to move it out of the driver’s seat so you can make clearer decisions.

Most of us look back on our past and see an event that was pretty painful. Perhaps we never resolved it. Now in our present, we can surely find something that gives us pain, right? It may not be to the same degree as the past pain, but it seems like the same lack of control over an outcome. Or maybe a situation continues to disappoint you and you do not know why.

It is our perception and re-creating the same thing, different day! Want change?

We tend to keep searching for the same emotions and the same energy unless we have awareness. The world is cast as characters in our play. Our desire to feel disappointment, doubt or pain is the driving force underneath us, unless we're very aware of what we're drawn to and why.

Learn what the hell I am talking about in this week’s show. You'll understand how to shift your inner dynamics to attract more of what you want and get the hell out of your relationship with pain, disappointment and doubt. (or any other negative stuck feeling) Change is possible in the next moment!

Assuming is a lot safer than asking questions in search of the truth… because we’re usually afraid of the truth. If you don’t ask questions, you’re able to comfortably continue with the illusion that things are still the same. And you may think that if the other person isn’t saying or doing anything differently, your assumption is correct. This leaves us with a false sense of control, within our comfort zone, where we know how to operate. Asking questions may upset the apple cart and bring up things we don’t want to hear… or cause an ending we’re not ready to deal with. Learn how to step up and ask questions in search of the truth, not just with respect to the other person, but your own truth as well.

Forget resolutions and being uptight as we roll into 2016, now's the time to let go, let loose and take some risks. Who needs those stinkin' resolutions?

I wrote an article on Huffington Post a couple years ago and decided I'd share it plus some other points on making changes for 2016! As many people get caught up in the setting of resolutions, the failure of the resolutions and the guilt, shame and other feelings, which do not inspire anyone to make permanent change.

Isn't it time to go into the new year not full of expectations, but actually releasing what really holds you back from committing to fulfilling success rather than a list of 'have to's aka resolutions? I know it is for me, and the year can only positively reflect what authentic risks we're willing to take! So...it's time to get risky and make your mark like never before!

Join me for a fun and extraordinary show!

How many of us were taught the meaning of real love? Most felt it had to be earned, chased or approved it before it is given, leaving us to feel we'd fallen short.

Should we love responsibly?

Perhaps like a driver's license, we should have to take a test, which would tell us how ready we are to love freely without obligation. Instead, we develop a list of attachments (needy needs) when love isn't freely available:

1. Validation we're okay

2. Being a victim in need of rescuing

3. Constant reassurance as a result of jealousy

4. Earned trust

5. The need for safety and security

6. Love that must be proven

7. Denying our feelings of rejection and abandonment

And this list goes on where we feel holes in ourselves; when love has been an obligation and not given freely. Chasing one's parents for love in the form of people pleasing, performing, or overcompensating can leave us feeling we're not worthy of love as adults. Many of us settle as a result.

Join me to learn about why this obligation exists, and how to shift out of it so you move from the needy needs into self-worth and feeling good right where you are TODAY.

We only have one life, and if it resembles something our parents, society or some invisible entity would approve of instead of what we WANT, we’re living a rock bottom existence. Plenty of people find themselves in situations that are considered the “right thing to do,” but according to whose standards? Where did those rules come from, and why have so many of us caved into a life that belongs to someone else? We’ve competed, compared and cajoled our way into positions that leave us feeling empty, unfulfilled and wanting.

In a bad relationship or job in which you feel like you settled for a life that isn’t yours, isn’t it time to get a clue about what would feel good? Are you ready to ask yourself, “Why am I here?” and “Where has my life gone?” Join me to learn how we end up living someone else’s life… and how to choose our own instead.

The depth of what we want is matched by our fear of having it, so we sabotage our efforts most of the time without realizing it. How do we finally stop, so we can accept and receive what we say we really desire?

It's a commitment. Period. The crazy part is we will remain in what doesn't work, doesn't feel good and because it's familiar...comfortable, we find an excuse for another day to stay right where we are ...not moving forth.

When it is hard to move out of a space and into another, it is the borders of your usual prison—your patterns which keep you there. And you will stay there, as long as it seems too hard to do something else.

People say they want abundance of love, money and health, YET...look in most of our lives and our actions, which come from our feelings (our auto-pilot reactions too) are what keep us in this cycle of never reaching beyond to the true wealth of a life fulfilled that we all say we want to experience.

I know what is like from my own experience. I spend time daily, releasing the chains I let bind me to parts of my life, I completely did NOT want and I've found success in the methods I have embraced. Let me share with you some tools on why you're in that hot spot, why you stay, and what you would need to do to get out once and for all.

How often do you look for signs when you don't want to let go after a break-up? You see his or her name everywhere; weird coincidences abound, so you think perhaps it's destiny. Could it be he or she is coming back? Or on the flip side when you're trying to let go, certain signs follow you around without seeming provocation. It can be frustrating and heart-wrenching, especially if you feel you've finally started letting go, and then you see your ex’s name on billboards or the back of a truck. Ugh!

And what about other signs? Do you give meaning to them or blow them off? Maybe your high school football number or old anniversary appears in dollar amounts, dates or time of day. Does that mean every sign you see has meaning? Most of us are certain it "means something.” Attachment can intensify not only our own feelings, but what we see in the world. Join me as we talk about the difference between subtle signs that suggest you're on the right track, and the ones that won't leave you alone.

If you're not familiar with it, ghosting is the trend of disappearing from the life of someone you’re dating. You just stop responding to them… via text, phone, email, etc., essentially turning into a ghost. People do it for several reasons, including a lack of courage and humanity to let the other person know you no longer want to see them.

Some people think it’s easier and more effective, but those who have been ghosted find it anxiety-provoking. They’re often left scratching their head about what happened, even after several attempts at contacting the “ghost.” So who really benefits from this form of break-up? Is it worse than being broken up with via text?

Join me for some coping tools to deal with this ghosting phenomenon. Oh, and if you’ve ever been the ghost, learn how to confidently leave a relationship instead of running out the backdoor. Self-induced guilt isn’t fun to live with! There’s a better way.

There are two benefits of a painful relationship: one real and one perceived. Humans don’t do anything unless there is a benefit.

Staying stuck, even when it’s painful, gives us the illusion of safety. It keeps us from taking risks or challenging our beliefs (i.e. there’s no one else out there for me). Unfortunately this perceived benefit may keep people stuck their entire lives, unable to move forward. The true benefit of a bad relationship is one of personal growth. It’s an opportunity to learn what keeps us tethered to the untenable, allowing our pain and starting to make different choices. Yup, hard to do… making a decision to take care of yourself vs. pleasing the other person by abandoning yourself. Hard, but possible.

Join me and guest Cristina DiMeglio to learn what makes a bad relationship, why you stay and how to move on!