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Welcome to another episode of The Good Mood Clinic Podcast!

Some of the ways we behave and think are known as schemas. Schemas could be described as a filter through which we view the world, and they are closely linked to our deeply entrenched core beliefs.

Recently, Justine and Gemma received emails from various listeners experiencing similar problems. One of the emails was from Harry, who explained that he has an empathetic personality and suffered from being in a relationship with someone narcissistic, which probably means he has a self-sacrifice schema and possibly some other issues as well. Sally also wrote in to say that she has a friend who is a big self-sacrificer, and it gets in the way of her life. 

In this episode, Gemma and Justine look at Harry and Sally's situations and discuss schemas. They describe the self-sacrifice schema. They also describe the subjugation schema, which is different but often gets correlated with the self-sacrifice schema clinically. They discuss what those schemas feel like, what brings them up, and the kinds of problems they cause for people. They also give several tips for breaking out of self-sacrifice and subjugation schema patterns. Stay tuned for more!

Book mentioned in the show: When the Body Says No, by Gabor Mat

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Welcome to another episode of The Good Mood Clinic Podcast!

Some of the ways we think and some of our behavioral tendencies are called schemas. Schemas could be described as the lens through which we see the world. They are closely related to our ingrained core beliefs but tend to be a little broader than those. 

Schema therapy makes things very clear and gives us some easy-to-understand labels to describe our behavior. Justine and Gemma have found schema therapy useful for problem-solving and understanding what is going on beneath the surface in relationships. 

In this episode, they dive into the area of relationships and look at how early schemas can overlap with people’s attachment styles to form the antagonistic push-pull relationships in which so many of us seem to find ourselves. They describe the anxious and avoidant styles of attachment and discuss some general terms that could help us think in terms of schemas rather than larger categories of behavior. Stay tuned for more!

For confidential information, counseling, and support service go to  https://1800respect.org.au.

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Welcome to another episode of The Good Mood Clinic Podcast!

Most people have an inner critic. Some are aware of it and acknowledge it, while others do not seem to notice the disparaging voice talking to them inside their head. The inner critic does not have to be a constant and deliberate internal narrative. It could also be a cluster of automatic thoughts or things you say out loud to yourself. 

Gemma enjoys looking through the lens of schema therapy when she works with people because it provides a helpful language for learning to understand the inner critic. Schema therapy assists her in pulling the critical voice apart. That allows her to take a closer look at all the different types of critics and assess the various functions they might perform. It helps to know what triggers the critical voice, whether or not its messages are useful, and if it comes from anyone in particular. 

In this episode, Gemma explores the inner critic by breaking it down, examining how the different elements play out, and discussing how to shift them, change them or shape them into something useful. Stay tuned for more!

For confidential information, counseling, and support service go to  https://1800respect.org.au.

Book mentioned: Reinventing Your Life, by Jeffrey E. Young

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Welcome to another episode of The Good Mood Clinic Podcast!

In this mailbox episode, Gemma and Justine address two questions submitted by two different listeners. One of the questions is about co-parenting children with a narcissistic ex-partner and how to protect them from the negative influences of their narcissistic parent. The other question is about supporting a partner while they have schema therapy. 

Like any other personality trait, type, or disorder, narcissism falls on a continuum, so every case is different and comes with its own level of difficulty. People can fall anywhere on the spectrum, from having a few narcissistic traits to being an extremely toxic pathological and malignant narcissist. Some people with narcissistic traits could also have some healthy traits. So you might be able to communicate with them rationally in their healthy moments, while others may have more extreme traits and can be more difficult to deal with as a co-parent.

Narcissism is a complicated topic, and co-parenting your children with a narcissistic ex-partner can be very tricky. You can go back and listen to episodes 14, 17, 20, and 22 to gain a deeper understanding of narcissism and learn how to deal with the narcissist in your life. Those episodes also cover how to manage your narcissistic parents when you are an adult.

For confidential information, counseling, and support service go to  https://1800respect.org.au.
Free webinar on co-parenting with a narcissist: https://susanstif
Emotion Coaching information
Books: Disarming the Narcissist, by Wendy Behary

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Listen to a meditation by Dr Gemma Gladstone, where she takes you on a journey to connect with and start to heal an inner child part of you who needs love and connection.  This meditation is very gentle and may assist you to develop a greater sense of compassion for yourself as a whole.  The meditation only focuses on you and a child part of you who feels alone or  overwhelmed by difficult emotions.  It might be listened to as an adjunct to the individual therapy you are receiving, especially if the therapy is working on childhood issues.  If you have lots of pain around your childhood and if you have experienced trauma in your childhood, we recommend that you seek therapy to help you work through those issues rather than relying only on self-help methods.

Want to know more about the Vulnerable Child Mode in schema therapy? Have a look at Dr Gladstone's FREE WEBINAR https://youtu.be/PQx986T0yg8.  Please subscribe to the channel.  

Are you a regular listener who loves what we do on this podcast?  If so, would you consider helping us continue to put out great content by making a small monthly contribution?  If you'd like to help support the show please click the link below.

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Welcome to another episode of The Good Mood Clinic Podcast!

Some distinct red flags tend to show up in the very early stages of dating that indicate that the person you are dating is likely to become emotionally unavailable, controlling, or toxic in a relationship. When you are in that situation, it can be hard to understand what is going on, and if you really want the relationship to work out, you could even become resistant and fail to recognize your schemas when they come up.

In this episode, Gemma and Justine continue with their series on the indicators of coerciveness or control in the early stages of dating. In the last episode, they did a therapist/client role-play to help you identify some early markers of controlling behaviors, understand what they mean, and recognize the feelings that tend to arise when that happens. In this episode, they refer to that role-play and take a deeper dive into the topic. They focus on schemas that might come up for the client and analyze what could be going on with her internally after being triggered by the guy she is dating. Stay tuned today to find out about the schemas that could make you vulnerable to control and learn how to avoid the possibility of landing up in a toxic relationship.

Reinventing Your Life by Janet S. Klosko and Jeffrey Young
The Journey from Abandonment to Healing by Susan Anderson
See What You Made Me Do by Jess Hill
The Gift of Fear by Gavin De Becker
In Control by Jane Monckton Smith

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Welcome to another episode of The Good Mood Clinic Podcast!

Managing all the uncertainty surrounding the pandemic can be tough and make it hard for many of us to remain grounded during these challenging times. That’s why we need to talk openly with our kids about anything that could be worrying them and spend some extra time on our self-care right now.

Gemma and Justine are passionate about helping women make better choices in their relationships. In this new series of episodes, they will be focusing on helping women to identify the red flags that tend to show up very early on when dating, or in relationships, that could potentially lead to emotional unavailability in a partner, a partner being controlling, or a more dangerous outcome.

In the past, Justine and Gemma have both been in relationships with unavailable partners. Many of their clients have also experienced problematic relationship patterns. In this episode, they will be talking about some of the markers that might show up soon after you meet someone that could give away a tendency for them to become controlling and toxic in a relationship. Stay tuned today to learn about coercive control and how to spot some of the darker red flags that might show up early on when you are dating someone.

Reinventing Your Life by Janet S. Klosko and Jeffrey Young
The Journey from Abandonment to Healing by Susan Anderson
See What You Made Me Do by Jess Hill
The Gift of Fear by Gavin De Becker
 In Control by Jane Monckton Smith

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Welcome to another episode of The Good Mood Clinic Podcast!

Some people find it very hard to cope if their best friend goes out with another friend or starts a new friendship with someone else. They might find themselves feeling cut off, needy, jealous, or even angry. Abandonment triggers in a friendship can be just as strong as those in a romantic relationship. Especially if that friendship is a special one and the friend is someone important to you. In those situations, the same feelings could come up as they would in a romantic relationship. That can be quite confusing.

In this episode, Gemma and Justine answer a mailbox question they received from a therapist who wrote in asking for tips for some of her clients struggling with an abandonment schema and friendships. Those clients were finding it very hard to cope with the problems they experienced in their platonic relationships. Stay tuned today to hear about the triggers that can come up in your friendships when you have an abandonment schema and learn what to do to create healthier relationships.

Reinventing Your Life By Janet S. Klosko and Jeffrey Young
The Journey from Abandonment to Healing by Susan Anderson
Podcast Justine mentioned: https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/the-peter-attia-drive/id1400828889?i=1000484615115

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Welcome to another episode of The Good Mood Clinic Podcast!
 
Gemma and Justine have another conversation in their series on breakups and schemas in this episode. 

If you have ever experienced a breakup when you have an abandonment schema, you know how traumatic it is. So it is understandable if you would want to avoid going through that pain again. In this episode, Justine and Gemma share a mailbox segment. They answer a question sent in by a client of Justine, who is in the process of addressing her abandonment schema. Although she is doing well and has started experimenting with finding a relationship, she has become aware of a strong urge to avoid looking for a partner because she fears the feelings that might arise if things fail to work out. 

In trying to care for herself in the longer term, Justine’s client is struggling to deal with her fears around the possibility of having to feel the feelings of abandonment again.  Be sure to stay tuned today to find out what to do and how to cope if you are in that situation.

Books:
Reinventing Your Life
Reinventing Your Life By Janet S. Klosko and Jeffrey Young       
The Journey from Abandonment to Healing by Susan Anderson

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Welcome to another episode of The Good Mood Clinic Podcast!

The break up of a romantic relationship causes so much angst and heartache for so many of us. Some people can’t stop thinking about their ex, and regardless of whether they did the breaking up or someone broke up with them, they cannot get that person out of their mind. They remain emotionally invested and find it hard to stop ruminating, even if they were with the person only for a few dates or a short-term relationship.

In this episode, Gemma and Justine continue with their conversation on the theme of romantic break-ups. They talk about some of the ways that schemas can trip you up during a break-up. You might become distressed and confused when you cannot stop thinking about the person with whom you have broken up. You might dream about your ex-partner, and it could even reach a point where your friends and family start becoming frustrated with you for not moving on. Yet, you still find yourself trapped in a continuous loop from which you feel unable to break free. When a schema gets activated, it adds another layer of emotional suffering to something that is already hard, so be sure to stay tuned today to find out what to do when you cannot get over your ex after breaking up.

Books:
Reinventing Your Life By Janet S. Klosko and Jeffrey Young
The Journey from Abandonment to Healing by Susan Anderson

Support the show

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