Healing with WORTH

Are you feeling stuck in your betrayal trauma? Maybe don't understand why? 

We have Tammy Gustafson back with us in this episode. She helps us go over the ways we might get stuck in our healing process from betrayal trauma. Below she lists the most common ways and a little insight into why:

1. Shame

2. Anger

3. Focusing on his emotions rather than hers

4. He's doing a lot of work, but there's no change

5. The question: Should I stay or should I go? 

Show Notes:

If you have not listened to episode 52, we encourage you to go back and do so. https://anchor.fm/healingwithworth/episodes/52-Interview-with-Therapist-Tammy-Gustafson--Healing-with-WORTH-e11uefj

If you'd like to reach out to Tammy Gustafson, you can visit her website betrayalhealing.com. If you are feeling stuck and want to dive deeper, she also has a digital program on these five stuck points. There are not only videos going through everything, but it also has worksheets with each one of these where women can kind of do a deep dive of guided self-reflection to see "where am I at? What is my next step to help her get unstuck and to be able to continue to go on with her healing journey."

What a great way to end our discussion on the ways betrayal trauma affects our relationship with God, priesthood leaders, and church culture! We do hope that you feel the spirit of healing as Kim Day gives us more insight into her personal story on this episode! 

Kim opens up and talks about a personal experience she had when she first came into Worth as a participant. She had written a letter to a general authority about the struggles that she herself and others in the Worth program were experiencing with betrayal trauma. Soon after writing the letter, she was reminded of an old bible story that was an answer to many of her questions. Much to her surprise, she also later received a response to the letter she wrote. 

Listen in to find more about it!

Show Notes: 

You can find the full story of Abraham and Isaac in Genesis 21-22 of the bible. 

If you are interested in joining the Worth group, you can do that at https://lifechangingservices.online/worth/ free for the first 6 months.

We have Worth therapist, Kim Day back with us talking about betrayal trauma and the way it affects our relationship with God, priesthood leaders, and church culture. In this episode, we dive a little deeper into the expectations we have around the church and possible ways of how to reconcile them. 

We realize that everyone's story is so different, so if you are experiencing these things, we have our Worth group to help at https://lifechangingservices.online/worth/

Do we have expectations of what life was supposed to look like? 

Especially when faith was such a core component and is such a core component of our identity. Here in this episode, Worth therapist, Kim Day talks about how this type of trauma really hits our identity in so many different ways. She lists at least 3 major reasons that our faith or our relationship with God or our emotions around a church, can feel strange or even threatened.

Of the 100 women who answered our survey, more than 63% felt they had gone through a significant spiritual crisis as part of their journey–usually pretty close around their time of discovery.

-Lisa Taylor, pastoral sexual addiction specialist

When something goes wrong, or is painful, in close association with the gospel or a gospel principle or ideal, those can become fused. They can become linked, not always, but sometimes they can. 

Are there resources for teen girls and women struggling with pornography?  Statistics show that 30% of women struggle with pornography.  This is not a "male" problem and women need help too.  

We sat down with Aneladee Milne, director of Daughters of Light and Women Warriors of Light part of Life Changing Services to learn more about these programs and how they help teen girls and women.  

This program helps with issues girls and women face. 

if you would like more information or to contact Aneladee you can reach her on her website:  Daughters of Light | Therapeutic groups for young women (lifechangingservices.online)

One more re-release for summer before new episodes come back next week! We hope you've enjoyed them. 

There was so much more we felt we wanted to cover on the topic of sexual abuse that we are back with clinicians Alana Gordon and Kimberly Day.

Kim and Alana explain that we may have received unhealthy ideas or messages growing up about sexuality from our families of origin, church culture, or friends.  

Show Notes:

You can find the episode Kim references on Healthy Sexuality (Mini Series #9) with Jeanne Vattuone here:  https://anchor.fm/healingwithworth/episodes/Healing-with-WORTH-Healthy-Sexuality-with-Jeanne-Vattuone-Mini-Series-on-Abuse-7-emak0u

"Finding a way to explore this other paradigm of what does healthy sexuality look like where there is no pressure, there isn't coercion. It is completely consensual where there is mutual respect and partnership. Where you can be present in the moment and playful. Where you can be vulnerable and safe."

Another re-release of some of our favorite episodes during this summer break with all of you. We will have new episodes for you in September! 

We are back with clinicians Alana Gordon and Kimberly Day to discuss another aspect of abuse; Sexual Abuse.  Kim expresses that there is a difference between sexual impact caused by a spouse's addiction and unhealthy sexual behaviors versus sexual abuse.  

Show Notes:

You can find the episode Kim references on Healthy Sexuality (Mini Series #9) with Jeanne Vattuone here:  https://anchor.fm/healingwithworth/episodes/Healing-with-WORTH-Healthy-Sexuality-with-Jeanne-Vattuone-Mini-Series-on-Abuse-7-emak0u

"Unhealthy sexuality is coercive or nonconsensual. And whenever you have that coercion or any degree of non-consent, that is unhealthy.  Non-consent absolutely is exploitive, it's abusive."

As we take a little summer break with all of you, we wanted to re-release some of our favorite episodes. We will have new episodes for you in September! 

After our interview with Dr. Manning we wanted to further discuss the topic of creating safety through setting boundaries.  

Living with a sex addict is risky behavior as they may be living a secret life unknown to us.  

How do we create safety for ourselves?  

We at times in our healing journey thought safety meant a physical safety, safety from harm, as well as having the physical necessities of life.  We need to take into consideration safety also means from verbal, emotional, and financial harm.  

Assessing where our safety risks are, allows us to see where we need to create boundaries in our relationship.

Show Notes:

A new round of WORTH YSA classes are starting May 4th.  We live in a world where pornography is pervasive.  If you wish you could prepare your daughter to be strong, empowered and have knowledge to have a healthy relationship this is the class for her!  Taught by Betrayal Trauma Coach Amie Woolsey.  Learn more about this class and register at https://lifechangingservices.online/worth/worth-ysa/

As we take a little summer break we wanted to re-release some of our favorite episodes.  We will have new episodes for you in September!

We had the pleasure of having licensed clinician Jeanne Vattuone coming and speaking to us on the topic of healthy sexuality.  Jeanne breaks us out of our comfort zone as she addresses sensitive topics:

What does healthy sexuality look like in a relationship?  What is mutual consent in a sexual relationship?  

Jeanne has been a Licensed Clinical Social Worker since 1998.  She is a Certified Sex Addiction Therapist, trained with Dr. Patrick Carnes, and is a Certified Clinical Partner Specialist Candidate.  Jeanne works with sex addicts and their partners providing individual, group, and couples therapy.  She is also trained in EMDR.  Jeanne is a CSAT and a CCPS Supervisor. 

To find out more and to work with Jeanne https://willowtreesantarosa.com/sex-addiction-therapist-contact-us/clinicians