Today's episode is all about how to use a specialized form of therapy to release trauma from your body and bring your recovery to the next level.

At the end of 2020 we had a WORTH member come on the podcast and share how Somatic Experiencing helped her in her healing recovery.  This week we have Licensed therapist Randi Gray LCP, NCC on the podcast to discuss how Somatic Experiencing and EMDR can bring your recovery to the next level.

Randi explains that people generally use talk therapy to learn healthy coping skills where with EMDR and somatic experiencing you are doing deeper level of work, helping you access parts of your brain that stores trauma.

Goodtherapy.org states "Somatic Experiencing® (SE™) was developed by Peter A. Levine, PhD to address the effects of trauma. Levine developed this approach after observing that prey animals, whose lives are routinely threatened in the wild, are able to recover readily by physically releasing the energy they accumulate during stressful events. Humans, on the other hand, often override these natural ways of regulating the nervous system with feelings of shame and pervasive thoughts, judgments, and fears. Somatic Experiencing aims to help people move past the place where they might be “stuck” in processing a traumatic event."

"What are you willing to sacrifice for your safety and well-being?"  In this follow up episode to creating safety through boundaries we discuss what fear we personally have had creating boundaries and what also may be holding you back. 

Dr. Jill Manning shared with us in her interview in Episode 44 and 45, the top 5 barriers that hold us back from creating boundaries for ourselves. This list is from her 21 barriers that can be downloaded on her website (link in show notes).  In this episode we go through her top 5 barriers and relate them to our own personal experience in our relationships.  

Show Notes:

https://drjillmanning.com/product-category/all/free-printables/

This is the final episode of a 3 part interview.  At the beginning of this year we shared with you that we really wanted to have stories of hope from couples who have both worked their recovery through betrayal trauma and addiction.  Make sure to listen to the first parts in Episodes 41 and 42 before listening to this episode. 

In this episode TC and Jon Jolley share where they are today and how they got involved in producing a video of their story on the church's website.  To watch that video you can find it here: https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/manual/help-for-spouses/stories-of-hope/god-supports-us?lang=eng

They were so gracious to share their time with us and their story of betrayal, addiction, and today their beautiful message of hope and healing.  We have turned their story into a three part series for you.  

https://www.facebook.com/search/top?q=worth%20-%20women%20of%20rebirth%20and%20therapeutic%20healing

@healingwithworth6

This is part 2 of a 3 part interview.  Make sure to listen to the first part in Episode 41 before listening to this one.  At the beginning of this year we shared with you that we really wanted to have stories of hope from couples who have both worked their recovery through betrayal trauma and addiction.

In this episode TC and Jon Jolley share what their separation period was like for each of them.

They were so gracious to share their time with us and their story of betrayal, addiction, and today their beautiful message of hope and healing.  We have turned their story into a three part series for you.  Please listen to next weeks episode to hear their complete story.

https://www.facebook.com/search/top?q=worth%20-%20women%20of%20rebirth%20and%20therapeutic%20healing

@healingwithworth6

At the beginning of this year we shared with you that we really wanted to have stories of hope from couples who have both worked their recovery through betrayal trauma and addiction.

In this first part TC and Jon share their story from each of their perspectives on what they went through from Jon's first disclosure and the aftermath of all that was brought to light.

We are happy to share part 2 of our interview with Dr Adam Moore.  Dr. Moore is a licensed marriage and family therapist and co-owner of Sila health, which operates mental health counseling offices in Utah and Nevada.  He also hosts a mental health podcast called Pocket Therapist, and has been a guest on dozens of other podcasts. He is a relationship and mental health expert and specializes in treating compulsive pornography use.

Listen as we discuss the process of healing from trauma and what we need to go through in order to heal through "neural network rewiring".

To find out more about Adam and his work you can find him at: https://adammmoore.com/

Show Notes:

Dan Solen https://utahvalleycounseling.com/blog/therapists/daniel-solen/

We were honored to have Doctor Adam Moore on the podcast!  Dr. Moore is a licensed marriage and family therapist and co-owner of Sila health, which operates mental health counseling offices in Utah and Nevada.  He also hosts a mental health podcast called Pocket Therapist, and has been a guest on dozens of other podcasts. He is a relationship and mental health expert and specializes in treating compulsive pornography use.  

Listen as we discuss the process of healing from trauma and what we need to go through in order to heal through "neural network rewiring".  

To find out more about Adam and his work you can find him at: https://adammmoore.com/

Show Notes:  Studies show that married women are more likely to experience trauma symptoms than single women who's partners have a compulsive problem with pornography.  

Susan Johnson EFT https://drsuejohnson.com/

In this second part of the conversation of Physical Intimacy we discuss what our beliefs are today around sexuality and some of the boundaries we have in place to have safety.

We want to point out that safety involves much more than physical safety. It involves spiritual, emotional, and mental.  All types of safety are necessary to be established before you reach the connection of physical.

If those other types of safety aren't established we are missing trust in the relationship which is a foundational part of a relationship. Trust is the groundwork for relationships to build any kind of connection on.

Show Notes:

Jason Carroll: BYU Professor, Department of Family Life https://fhssfaculty.byu.edu/FacultyPage/jc32

Laura Brotherson: Agency, Change and Sex https://maritalintimacyinst.com/wp-content/uploads/Agency-Change-and-Sex.pdf

This week we discuss how betrayal in a relationship affects physical intimacy as well as what physical intimacy can look like in a healthy relationship.

Physical intimacy is a very complicated issue when addiction and pornography is present in a marriage. It's a very individual matter how you decide to share or not share physical touch and intimacy with your spouse. Safety is a very high priority and that's really determined by each woman in each circumstance. 

What applies to us may not feel it applies to our listeners, but we are hoping that we can have a great discussion on some principles to help guide our listeners through this really sensitive topic and hopefully that will help you to get clear on some of the boundaries that you may need to implement in your own life. We really encourage you to listen to your gut, listen to things that really resonate with you and feel good in moving forward in this area.

Notes:

Quote: Dr. Terry Olson, "Chastity and fidelity are more than just sexual abstinence before marriage and physical fidelity after marriage. This is because human sexuality is not simply a physical matter.

As the world invites us to believe chastity and fidelity begin in the spirit, not the body and involve the giving of our hearts are broken. Hearts are softened hearts to our mates. Unequivocally."

M. Russell Ballard's talk: The Lord Needs You Now!: https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/ensign/2015/09/the-lord-needs-you-now?lang=eng

Episode on Healthy Sexuality with Jeanne Vattuone: https://anchor.fm/healingwithworth/episodes/Healing-with-WORTH-Healthy-Sexuality-with-Jeanne-Vattuone-Mini-Series-on-Abuse-7-emak0u

Today's episode is from an episode on Geoff Steurer LMFT The Illuminate podcast with one of our WORTH clinicians Kimberly Day LMHCA.  https://anchor.fm/illuminate-podcast/episodes/Confronting-abuse-in-marriage---Kimberly-Day---Episode-74-enjsj4

Geoff's show notes:

"In this episode I interview Kimberly Day, LMHCA, about how to better diagnose and confront abuse in marriage. Kim says that when we think of betrayal trauma and really understand the dynamics of a relationship when one partner is addicted to porn or sex, it's important to look at all abuse dynamics to get a complete picture. Abuse is an important and often underappreciated dimension in a multi-dimensional problem.

Download the graph that corresponds with this episode (https://geoff-steurer.mykajabi.com/abuse-download?preview_theme_id=3204962) and you'll see that one axis is our typical 'addict-mode' behaviors: acting out, lying, even gaslighting (even though that is abuse), etc.- these are behaviors that rise out of the compulsions to act out, keep it secret, addict-mode thought distortions, etc.  Along this axis is where most all addiction and betrayal trauma is assessed and treated.

But there is another dimension that helps us explain and more deeply understand and support a lot of people - that is the dimension of the Abusive Attitudes and Beliefs held by the addicted partner, including entitlement and superiority, out of which abuses of power and control, objectification of family members, and other forms of dehumanizing treatment arise. These are the underlying currents of devaluing and dehumanizing the partner that are the source of a lot of trauma, though they are very rarely fully recognized or addressed.

This perspective/model helps us to explain some of the confusion that both practitioners and partners experience when the "acting out" is dealt with, but the treatment toward the partner does not improve.

In this episode, we dialogue around what it might look like in each of the four quadrants and how the experience and the sources of trauma and safety/lack of safety may be different in each. We contrast the "Acting out High/Abusive Attitudes Low" quadrant from the "Acting out Low/Abusive Attitudes High"- this type of differentiation is what Kim believes is being missed when we blanket cover all addiction as abuse, or when we ignore so many other forms of abuse and clump them all into addict-mode behavior."

Download the chart here:

https://geoff-steurer.mykajabi.com/abuse-download?preview_theme_id=3204962