Help Me Be Me

Hi friends, in this episode I answer two questions. One: "How do you trust your gut if you struggle with anxiety and perfectionistic overthinking - if your thinking gets you into messes all the time? Should you believe what other people say about you - even if you don't agree with them?" Two: "How do you stop focusing on the expectations of others, while in a relationship? I find that I neglect my needs and often focus on what I think I should do to make another person happy." For more of my work and to make a donation visit YayWithMe.com The Melodie Beattie book I mention in this episode is here: http://amzn.to/2k3jvZm The podcast I mentioned is here: https://soundcloud.com/helpmebeme/episode-44-personal-priorities-pond-a-self-esteem-building-exercise

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This is for anyone who is coping with the aftermath of finding out they have an STD and what that means for you as an individual. There are some great articles on this topic – some from people who seem to be super successfully living with STD’s. I will link to those in the blog version of this post, all of which live on YayWithMe.com – along with The Break-Up Album – a breakup coach in a podcast album. There are some tools about how to have that conversation with a potential partner. How to still believe you have a chance at finding your happy with a partner. I wanted to also cover the side of this topic that has to do with your personal feelings about yourself. Because I think that’s one of the hardest parts. How we change this moment into a major meaningful milestone that somehow redefines who we are. This one is for a listener. Thank you for request! It’s a great one. With that there are 3 parts: the what, why and how – the tools! References: https://goo.gl/xff7Mw https://goo.gl/e47UYF https://goo.gl/QUAB4D https://goo.gl/Z6jmub https://goo.gl/ZHuW1Z https://goo.gl/SXqs9p https://goo.gl/cmQMRR

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This is an episode answering two questions – the first: how do you deal with real fears and awareness of imminent pain, for example – the pain of a future loss of a loved one, or the fear over the current situation in the world. The second question: how do you deal with the pain of wanting someone who has broken up with you multiple times. Is it okay to go on Tinder and hookup with other people – just to help get over them? For more of my writing, to make a donation and to purchase The Break-Up Album, head to YayWithMe.com xo Sarah May B.

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How to take constructive criticism well, specifically, when it comes to creative endeavors. That means hearing it, taking it in and doing something with it, without it triggering you emotionally – which can change what the criticism means to you. Like when you feel you should defend yourself, or you automatically feel like a failure, or your desire to please the person outweighs the creative truth. So if you are a creative of any kind and you have a hard time hearing constructive criticism this one’s for you! This is a topic request and heads up it has some baby ambient noise as it’s recorded from my maternity leave. This one’s for Catherine. Thank you for the request and your generous donation. It’s truly how I am able to do this work. People like you. xo For more of my work or to make a donation you can visit Yaywithme.com

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This is a power-up for ambivalence about a big life decision – like leaving a relationship, trying a new career or having a baby! This is a power-up episode structured like a conversation between you and me. This is about how to decide whether or not to have a baby, but I also think it could apply to any issue. So if you’re on the fence about kids and you’re running out of time – this is for you. And I know that this is a polarizing topic – so if you listen to this, know that it’s a personal opinion, not a "should" – and i do not believe my opinion is better than others. So don’t take offense to anything I say and if it doesn’t feel right for you, leave it. It has the potential to bring up some weird feelings in some people – especially if you have issues with childhood and parents – so that is my big fat caveat. Heads up - this topically leans more toward women! For more of my writing or to make a donation, check out Yaywithme.com xo!

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This is about when life becomes unmanageable – for example there’s a condition that threatens your sanity and it gets to the point that you are in serious discomfort. This is when you are feeling hopeless and overwhelmed and in a state of action-paralysis. When you don’t know how to help yourself, you are in a state of fretting. Feeling overwhelmed and unable to think past how bad things are. So if you are in that state – feeling dread and hopelessness, this is for you. Hopefully the short increment will allow it to be applicable to you in those moments – so first things first. I want you to grab a paper and a pen. From this moment right now, you cannot see the solution but no matter how bad things are or have been for a long time – something that will help – exists. Part of the paralysis is believing in the sense of hopelessness because when actions don’t impact your outcome repeatedly, we learn to believe it. We believe it’s hopeless until it’s not. The trick is to take the pain ONE notch down from what you’re in now. When it comes to really dire, hopeless situations – chronic ones, you need dramatic big change. More than a simple tweak. More than a podcast. You need a big leap. You can’t do this all on your own – you need to involve reinforcements. Today’s podcast is dedicated to Catherine. Catherine your donation has literally changed my life – I hope I am able to repay you in some small way. For more of my work or to make a donation, visit YayWithMe.com xo Sarah May B.

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A shorthand version of changing a trauma or hurt from a scar into a medal. I’ve covered this in other episodes but I thought it would be helpful in this format - it's condensed for in-the-moment application. I used these steps myself recently and it works! So this is if anyone has had something really traumatic happen to them that hurts them and you can tell it’s one of those sore spots that makes you cry really hard. I want you to practice these steps around that experience as soon as it has happened. It will likely have to do with your powerlessness in the face of something excruciating – and your inability to change that. For more of my work including the blog version of this podcast, head to YayWithMe.com To donate head to Yaywithme.com/donate

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When we don’t feel safe, we tend to panic. Especially if you lack the innate knowledge that you will be okay. So when external events happen that take our sense of safety away – it can lead you into a state of intense suffering that then deepens into a state of hopelessness. This is when external hardship is really damaging. However – you can foster an innate sense of resilience – by practicing steps and thoughts despite yourself. So if you are in that state, of if you want to preempt it – here are some steps for you to take. If you want to read more of my writing, to make a donation, and for more helpful resources, check out YayWithMe.com

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Today I have to honor of speaking with Billy Merritt, actor, writer, improviser– and one of the founding fathers of The Swarm at The Upright Citizens Brigade, an improv comedy theater and school, well known in LA and NY. Today we are going to talk about lots of things – but in particular, how the tools of improv can help you be more present and comfortable in your own skin on and off the stage. For more about Billy, check out The Smokes - Monday at UCB Franklin in Los Angeles or The Swarm, the first Saturday of every month at UCB Sunset, or find him on Twitter @BillyMerritt Heads up! We got cut off during our first recording session so you'll hear the sound change as we pick back up about half way through. Sorry if we repeat a few things - but I think you'll enjoy nonetheless! To work with me or to find more of my writing and podcasts, check out Yaywithme.com

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Hi friends, in this episode I answer 3 questions: what to do if you’re stuck and you can’t figure out what you’re passionate about. What to do when you are stuck in a pit of hopelessness and despair and you feel ashamed and can’t seem to get a break. What to do if you are stuck, depressed and you really don’t have any good friendships. I hope this gives you some relief! I know a lot of these issues are really big, chronic ones and the solutions will not be quick and easy – but if this was your question, I want to say whatever you do – don’t stop trying. I believe eventually you fill find your cocktail solution. It just takes persistence and a teaspoon of luck, which can be arrived at via trial and error. Xo Sarah May B. For more of my writing, my one-on-one plans, my books and other resources check out YayWithMe.com

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