Help Me Be Me

This is for a person who filled out my survey – I don’t know your name, but this is for you! I hope it helps. You asked how to break out of the vicious cycle of a narcissistic relationship. Because it can be extremely terrifying and painful and feel much like a hostage situation. The reason is that if you are in a relationship with a narcissist – you know how ruthless and dark their punishing can be. It also goes deep into your heart strings, puppeting you around like a raw nerve. In other words – they are master controllers and know exactly what to do to make you do what they want. And also they are WILLING to do it, at all costs. This episode is 3 parts – the what, they why, the tools. I will also provide a download for you on my site in case you are in a bad place and need to get a map out of this. For more check out Teaspoonofhappy.com and enter the headspace contest to win a year of free meditation!! Smile lovely friends - and look for the blog version of this post in the next week on Teaspoon.

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What is a slashie? A creative person who knows that their day job isn't their real job: a busboy/actor; waitress/screenwriter/photographer; singer/production designer/legal secretary. Your slash is your professional makeup. In other words, most of us - if we are honest with ourselves. Because a creative thinker is many things, today if you are a slashie you are forging a new path in a wide open sea of opportunity, but you likely haven’t solved for that single, money-making passion just yet. But that’s a good thing – unlike how it might feel to a slashie – this stage is part of the process. Slashies are a growing percentage of the workforce because careers nowadays don’t have “work experience.” A creator can build a new app/community/business overnight and because of that, new job definitions are being invented every day. Thanks to equal opportunity of the internet, it’s like a claim-jumper era for creatives with a desire to build something new. It can be hard to choose a new career or even entertain the idea because if you are an adult, you want to be stable and have security. Because, hey - when you're a grownup, that’s what you are supposed to do. Thankfully nowadays there are all sorts of new avenues for creative thinkers to pursue professional careers based on their particular aesthetic and passions. So that’s what this is about. Five ways to better pursue your creative passions and figure out what can take your slashes to a more convenient or purpose-driven definition – for you as a creative voice with one lifetime on this earth. References: For the instagram marketing webinar head to: Ilovecreatives.com For B-school head to marieforleo.com For General Assembly, head to generalassemb.ly To find my reading list, head to: teaspoonofhappy.com/reading-list

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Emotional Eating in this episode translates as negative soothing habits around food that relate to specific emotional states. So, depending on your dynamic, that could mean binging, constant eating in an unconscious state, or feelings of powerlessness with a complete lack of control that feels similar to being possessed or out of body. If you’re not an emotional eater, if you have pretty much any negative emotional-soothing habits, you will likely get something out of this podcast. It’s about how we have grown patterns of soothing – and also a few tools for objectively tackling them at the root. Food is often a metaphor for how we deal with fear. And pain. We either soothe we run we lash out we deny. In Buddhism, they call these psychological types out as the grasping/fear type, the rejecting/anger type, or the denial/adrift type. So depending on your type, you will react to stress in a predictable set of ways if you have grown used to coping with specific bad habits. For example – with food. There are 3 parts to this episode: What, Why, plus 3 Tools that work for me – that can give you a starting point. I will post the blog version on TeaspoonOfHappy.com later this week with my reading references. And if you haven’t already –check out the contest to win a year of meditation! Headspace y’all. It’s the ish. Head here to enter that little gem: http://www.teaspoonofhappy.com/headspace-contest And smile! Xox Sarah-May

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This is a little power-up episode about creating more joy-filled and memorable moments in your life. Happiness is a thought-habit that for many of us, requires constant maintenance and deliberate focus. Though there are many reasons to feel grateful for our life – they’re all around us all the time - in order to be capable of feeling that value, we need contrast. Contrast meaning the complimentary opposite of gratitude and appreciation: pain or difficult striving. In other words, a constant state of awareness of value (happiness) often arrives from a true understanding of its absence (pain). Without that contrast, it’s easy for life to get stuck in a middle array of emotions – a permanent state of “so-so” or “okay.” When you live in this state for long enough, powerful emotions like gratitude and happiness are assigned to a set of general milestones (birthdays, weddings, getting a promotion etc) but outside of that it can be frustrating to find a true sense of joy. The real kind – that moves you to tears, or sticks in your memory for the rest of your life. So that kind of joy is what I want to talk about. You have the power to create that range in your life, minus the negative contrast. It’s a super power you are likely unaware of until you actually put it to use: but when you approach life in this way, you are also expanding your capacity to feel love, gratitude and happiness. So if you’re interested in having more of those real joyful moments, this is a podcast for you. And if you want to read the blog version of this I will post it shortly on TeaspoonOfHappy.com Smile lovely friends! xox

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This is about the value of stepping back from your preoccupations to do more nothing. Busyness is a cultural habit that is also an addiction. Physiologically as well as on a level of personal identity. Are you one of those people who is sooo busy and you can’t tell where the time is going? When you see someone and they ask how you are – do you find yourself inclined to say, “I am soooo busy.” It’s a state we can all relate to. It’s also often a boast hidden in a complaint. Culturally we have all agreed to take on this state of life – thanks to texting and smart phones and email and social media. They are making you mentally connected to all people and obligations and stores and humans simultaneously. Hence- the empty private time with yourself, alone is gone! The biggest downside of the busyness pattern is you trade your life, day by day, to this insecurity. It can happen without you noticing, quite simply because your not present. You are caught up in your busy thoughts. So that’s what today’s podcast is about: slowing down – and stopping. Literally, I am going to promote the idea of doing nothing. Nothing but being. Hanging out. Nothing on your agenda. No one to respond to – nothing to pick up, attend, return. When was the last time you sat in an extended amount of time – like that? The episode has three parts. Part 1: Why aim to do nothing. Part 2: Self-Diagnosis. Part 3: 3 Tools to help you free up your time. And to download the Journal Exercises mentioned in the episode head here: https://teaspoonofhappy.squarespace.com/busyness AND if from April-June 2015, if you haven’t yet, please enter the Headspace contest to win a year awesome mind-soothing meditations! http://www.teaspoonofhappy.com/headspace-contest This episode is dedicated to Irene May Bates - my grandmother and one of my heroes. She makes the most valuable moments in your day.

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Hi friends, This is my personal list of what to look for when choosing a therapist, plus a few basic tactics to attack the task. Take what helps and leave the rest! It’s an amazing and important gift to give yourself and it’s more worth it than anything you will spend money on for the rest of your life – quite simply, because it will change your life – everything about it and everyone in it – for the better. I send you my love and positivity – and if you have time, please please leave me a review on iTunes – it’s super important to me and I love to read them. And if you haven’t already, please enter the contest to win a year of Headspace! If you are listening to this in the months of April to June 2015. Enter here: http://www.teaspoonofhappy.com/headspace-contest For the blog version check out http://www.teaspoonofhappy.com later this week! xo!

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Hi peeps! This is a power-up episode to create one small positive change in yourself starting today. I want you to look at one thing in your life that you can and will change for the better. Because it's all about upkeep and the trajectory as a whole. What can you do today that will take no effort at all? Let's tackle that together - because you would be amazed at how easy change is when you don't feel the affects one tiny bit. It's spring, y'all! Let's do some soul cleaning! For more of my writing and to sponsor me head to http://www.teaspoonofhappy.com I heart you all! Smile! xo Sarah-May B.

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This is for anyone who is currently romantically involved with someone who is not treating you well and you are taking it, and it hurts. You know it’s not right but you can’t seem to leave it for some reason. This situation betrays your foundational values, and in staying in it, you betray yourself and what’s important to you. What do you want for your future? Because you get to decide what’s important to you. That’s what this episode is about. Are you tolerating and accepting less than what you want from another? Are you giving more and receiving less? Are you operating on less than a trustworthy bond? Are you dating someone who won’t commit to you or maybe they don’t want the same things you want but you’re still hanging around “just because you don’t have anything better at the moment.” Maybe you are in a committed relationship but you want more – you want better – you want this to go to the next stage: moving in, getting married, or just better treatment – but this person is “complicated” and it’s not how they roll. Maybe you break up occasionally but always end up getting back together. Maybe they decide they need a break and then they come back again as soon as you become too visibly independent. In case you are wondering, yes, this is for every gender and all kinds of relationships because it’s a topic that relates to your relationship with yourself. It doesn’t have to be a guy doing this to a girl – everyone can be squirrely and everyone can want and expect a real relationship from a person they choose to share their life and soul with. It’s all a valid and realistic dream and goal to have. And it’s something you choose for yourself. It’s a common situation to be in for an adult. You end up in a relationship that’s not aligned with what you want for yourself and you can’t figure out an exit and you just kind of get stuck. What I am going to do is hopefully enlighten you as to why you’re there and what needs to change for you to confront the change that needs to happen for you to get to where you’re meant to be. Where are you meant to be? In a mutually loving and supportive relationship based on the terms and values that you choose for yourself. So, with someone who deserves your love. So let’s go there together, shall we? Emma this one is written for you. I hope it changes the way you see things so that you can change what it is that has you stuck, presently. xo! For more of my writing head to http://www.teaspoonofhappy.com To check out the Personal Priorities Pond I mention in the episode, head here: https://soundcloud.com/helpmebeme/episode-44-personal-priorities-pond-a-self-esteem-building-exercise

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Hi loves, this is to use anytime this week or this month – it’s a little tool for regaining control of the wheel of your person, in the face of enduring places, people or situations that are not to your liking. It’s called “Happy Place.” The situation, though it sucks and tests your tolerance and ability to pursue what you want despite this situation – is NOT helped by your succumbing to focusing on the pain and unhappiness. Anger is toxic to your body so you are not only hurting your physical health, you are actively causing yourself MORE agony by focusing on it while it’s happening. Often we have an unconscious habit of savoring the sheer magnitude of annoyances in our life and relishing our increased stress or fatigue or the level of idiocy around ourselves. That unconscious savoring is your worst enemy. Is taking time to acknowledge what it is you don’t like and you might not even notice you’re celebrating it again and again because it’s a habit. So now’s the podcast power up to make note of it! The stupid-crap-from-my-day-celebrations stop today! This week! Yay for today! For more of my writing- including my newsletter, head to Teaspoonofhappy.com

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What is self work? It’s acknowledging something in yourself that needs to be addressed for the sake of growing. It’s what you decide to do when you look at your life and decide you’re not so stoked to be where you are. It’s a moment of clarity – or fed-up-ness with the conditions of yourself and your inability to do anything about them – maybe you’ve been stuck in a pattern you want to break, or you looked up one day and realized you aren’t where you thought you’d be and time is flying by. Most importantly, self-work is the beginning of your life in many ways. It’s the moment you become aware that you have the power to create the self you want to be, in every shape and form – and because that is such an epic and wonderful thing – you make the decision to act on that information by taking steps in an educated direction toward doing that work. And what a profoundly exciting move that is. In my opinion, it’s the best decision you could ever make in your life. I gotta admit, this post made me a bit choked up. I hope you enjoy it – and if you did, please visit my new Patreon.com profile! If you like this content, please support it – any amount counts. Sending you my love and lots and lots of positivity. xox Smile my lovely friends! Xox Sarah-May B. To sponsor this podcast, you can visit: https://www.patreon.com/sarahmayb If you have a moment, please take this survey - it will help me help you, better – which is what I dream to do! http://www.teaspoonofhappy.com/blog/survey Thanks in advance! xoxo And, I hope you dig my new Podcast theme - it's by Booker Hill Music, right here on Soundcloud! Check 'em out! https://soundcloud.com/booker-hill-music/treetops?in=booker-hill-music/sets/all

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