Ever feel like you're putting way more into a friendship than you're getting back? Like you're always remembering their birthday, showing up for their milestones, and making time for deep hangs—while they barely text back or only want to hang in big groups?

In this episode, we talk about what it feels like when friendships become unbalanced and how to stop taking it personally. I introduce the “friend shelf system”—a way to honor different types of friendships without expecting every friend to be everything. I share how I stopped making other people’s preferences mean something about me, and how you can start seeing those moments as neutral instead of personal.

If you’ve been feeling drained by a friendship or questioning whether you matter to someone, this one’s for you.

Discover your attachment style to break free from old relationship patterns. Take the free quiz here: https://quiz.tryinteract.com/#/6329f75e6dd9410016a64043

Follow Lit AF Relationships on Instagram: @itsmesarahcohan.com

Visit the Lit AF Relationships Website: https://www.sarahcohan.com/

If you’re interested in one-on-one or couples coaching I’d love to help you heal old patterns to create healthy relationships where you feel like you’re on the same team. Get started by applying for a free 60-minute healthy relationships call here: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSddL3tie849uvgD1m31l4MAH3AzH0FlWgnsG0gPEBEzeDyPyg/viewform

If you’ve ever thought, “This one person MUST meet all my needs—right now, forever,” this episode is for you.

Anxious Preoccupied and Fearful Avoidant folks often grow up with inconsistent caregivers and learn to hyper-focus on one partner to feel safe, chosen, or complete. But the truth is: no one person can be your emotional Amazon Prime—delivering all your needs on demand.

I’ll walk you through how to break the fixation, identify what needs you’re really trying to meet, and start diversifying your sources of fulfillment (hello, adventure, security, and connection—from multiple places!).

Let’s make space in your relationships for freedom, not pressure.

Discover your attachment style to break free from old relationship patterns. Take the free quiz here: https://quiz.tryinteract.com/#/6329f75e6dd9410016a64043

Follow Lit AF Relationships on Instagram: @itsmesarahcohan.com

Visit the Lit AF Relationships Website: https://www.sarahcohan.com/

If you’re interested in one-on-one or couples coaching I’d love to help you heal old patterns to create healthy relationships where you feel like you’re on the same team. Get started by applying for a free 60-minute healthy relationships call here: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSddL3tie849uvgD1m31l4MAH3AzH0FlWgnsG0gPEBEzeDyPyg/viewform

Ever gone full detective on your partner in the name of “just being curious”? Yeah… me too. 😬 In this episode, I’m talking about weaponized curiosity—how our innocent questions can turn into subtle tools of shame, blame, and control (especially when trust has been broken). I’ll share a raw moment from my own relationship, how my therapist called me out (ouch), and why feeling chosen is a universal need, not a burden. Plus, how this tough lesson led me to attachment theory—and ultimately, healing. If you’ve ever chased clarity hoping for comfort, only to feel worse… this one’s for you.

Ready to stop the blame game and start feeling truly supported? Book your free Healthy Relationships Roadmap call today: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSddL3tie849uvgD1m31l4MAH3AzH0FlWgnsG0gPEBEzeDyPyg/viewform

Discover your attachment style to break free from old relationship patterns. Take the free quiz here: https://quiz.tryinteract.com/#/6329f75e6dd9410016a64043

Follow Lit AF Relationships on Instagram: @itsmesarahcohan.com

Visit the Lit AF Relationships Website: https://www.sarahcohan.com/

If you’re interested in one-on-one or couples coaching I’d love to help you heal old patterns to create healthy relationships where you feel like you’re on the same team. Get started by applying for a free 60-minute healthy relationships roadmap call here: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSddL3tie849uvgD1m31l4MAH3AzH0FlWgnsG0gPEBEzeDyPyg/viewform

Guilt and shame: the uninvited passengers secretly driving the bus. In today’s episode, we’re pulling back the curtain on how these emotions silently shape our actions—especially if you’re someone with insecure attachment. From overgiving and people-pleasing to taking responsibility for other people’s feelings, we unpack where guilt and shame come from, why they’re so sticky, and how to gently start loosening their grip. You’ll walk away with practical ways to poke holes in the guilt-shame narrative so you can show up more fully as yourself.

Discover your attachment style to break free from old relationship patterns. Take the free quiz here: https://quiz.tryinteract.com/#/6329f75e6dd9410016a64043

Follow Lit AF Relationships on Instagram: @itsmesarahcohan.com

Visit the Lit AF Relationships Website: https://www.sarahcohan.com/

If you’re interested in one-on-one or couples coaching I’d love to help you heal old patterns to create healthy relationships where you feel like you’re on the same team. Get started by applying for a free 60-minute healthy relationships call here: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSddL3tie849uvgD1m31l4MAH3AzH0FlWgnsG0gPEBEzeDyPyg/viewform

Ever catch yourself trying to protect someone from their own emotions—like disappointment, anger, or sadness? You’re not alone. In this episode, we explore the sneaky ways many of us—especially those with fearful avoidant attachment—take on emotional responsibility that was never ours to begin with.

We break down how childhood conditioning taught us to manage other people’s feelings as a form of survival, and why that habit lingers long into adulthood. Whether you're people-pleasing, over-giving, or avoiding conflict altogether, these patterns might feel like kindness, but they come at a cost: your own emotional well-being and the other person’s ability to take ownership of their experience.

You’ll learn why trying to “protect” others from hard emotions often leads to resentment, and how choosing short-term discomfort can actually build stronger, more honest relationships.

Discover your attachment style to break free from old relationship patterns. Take the free quiz here: https://quiz.tryinteract.com/#/6329f75e6dd9410016a64043

Follow Lit AF Relationships on Instagram: @itsmesarahcohan.com

Visit the Lit AF Relationships Website: https://www.sarahcohan.com/

If you’re interested in one-on-one or couples coaching I’d love to help you heal old patterns to create healthy relationships where you feel like you’re on the same team. Get started by applying for a free 60-minute healthy relationships call here: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSddL3tie849uvgD1m31l4MAH3AzH0FlWgnsG0gPEBEzeDyPyg/viewform

This week, I’m joined by my former client David to talk about his transformation from emotionally shutdown and YouTube-binging to expressive, boundary-setting, and boxing-loving. We get real about what it’s like to live with a dismissive avoidant attachment style, how it affected his friendships and relationships, and how he slowly built a more secure sense of self—one tiny step (and one tucked-in shirt) at a time. You’ll laugh, maybe cry, and definitely relate if you’ve ever felt like the “quiet, weird one” at the party. David’s actually charming AF.

Discover your attachment style to break free from old relationship patterns. Take the free quiz here: https://quiz.tryinteract.com/#/6329f75e6dd9410016a64043

Follow Lit AF Relationships on Instagram: @itsmesarahcohan.com

Visit the Lit AF Relationships Website: https://www.sarahcohan.com/

If you’re interested in one-on-one or couples coaching I’d love to help you heal old patterns to create healthy relationships where you feel like you’re on the same team. Get started by applying for a free 60-minute healthy relationships call here: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSddL3tie849uvgD1m31l4MAH3AzH0FlWgnsG0gPEBEzeDyPyg/viewform

Do you secretly believe you’re uniquely unlovable, fundamentally broken, or just too weird to be understood? Congrats, you might have Special Snowflake Syndrome™. In this spicy episode (recorded on day one of my period a.k.a. peak truth serum), I unpack how this isolating lie keeps you from the connection you crave—and why 25% of us are out here doing the exact same thing. You're not broken, you're just avoidant. Let’s fix that.

Discover your attachment style to break free from old relationship patterns. Take the free quiz here: https://quiz.tryinteract.com/#/6329f75e6dd9410016a64043

Follow Lit AF Relationships on Instagram: @itsmesarahcohan.com

Visit the Lit AF Relationships Website: https://www.sarahcohan.com/

If you’re interested in one-on-one or couples coaching I’d love to help you heal old patterns to create healthy relationships where you feel like you’re on the same team. Get started by applying for a free 60-minute healthy relationships call here: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSddL3tie849uvgD1m31l4MAH3AzH0FlWgnsG0gPEBEzeDyPyg/viewform

Get ready to feel seen! In this soulful, funny, and wisdom-packed episode, Sarah reunites with Krista Williams—co-host of the Almost 30 podcast and now author of its transformational companion book. They dive deep into Saturn returns, breakups that crack you open, dating after divorce, and the wild ride of figuring out whether your intuition or your attachment style is driving the bus. Krista shares her own messy-beautiful story of growth, how she finally stopped dating avoidant men (amen!), and why knowing your soul is the ultimate relationship flex. Plus, Sarah opens up about her Saturn return engagement-detour and how she’s learning to speak with more love—one tough conversation at a time. Come for the truth bombs, stay for the river of love.

Discover your attachment style to break free from old relationship patterns. Take the free quiz here: https://quiz.tryinteract.com/#/6329f75e6dd9410016a64043

Follow Lit AF Relationships on Instagram: @itsmesarahcohan.com

Visit the Lit AF Relationships Website: https://www.sarahcohan.com/

If you’re interested in one-on-one or couples coaching I’d love to help you heal old patterns to create healthy relationships where you feel like you’re on the same team. Get started by applying for a free 60-minute healthy relationships call here: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSddL3tie849uvgD1m31l4MAH3AzH0FlWgnsG0gPEBEzeDyPyg/viewform

Asking for help can feel like weakness—but what if it’s actually a sign of strength? In this short episode, I get real about the shame and insecurity that bubbled up from a real life example from a client that needed help with a clothes dryer (yes, really). I walk through the wound thoughts, the emotions they triggered, and the powerful reframe that helped her see her courage and resourcefulness instead. If asking for help makes you squirm, this one’s for you.

Discover your attachment style to break free from old relationship patterns. Take the free quiz here: https://quiz.tryinteract.com/#/6329f75e6dd9410016a64043

Follow Lit AF Relationships on Instagram: @itsmesarahcohan.com

Visit the Lit AF Relationships Website: https://www.sarahcohan.com/

If you’re interested in one-on-one or couples coaching I’d love to help you heal old patterns to create healthy relationships where you feel like you’re on the same team. Get started by applying for a free 60-minute healthy relationships call here: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSddL3tie849uvgD1m31l4MAH3AzH0FlWgnsG0gPEBEzeDyPyg/viewform

Lit AF Relationships podcast is your resource for creating healthy relationships full of love, trust, safety, and respect. 

Want to fight less and connect more in your relationship? This episode dives into the secret sauce of better communication: validation.

It’s the #1 skill I teach couples, and for good reason—most of us skip it completely. When your partner feels seen and heard, defensiveness drops and connection rises.

I’m sharing why validation is so hard (hello, nervous system), how to do it without faking it, and a few simple tips you can try today to shift the dynamic.

Spoiler: fighting better isn’t about avoiding conflict—it’s about showing up like you’re on the same team.

Discover your attachment style to break free from old relationship patterns. Take the free quiz here: https://quiz.tryinteract.com/#/6329f75e6dd9410016a64043

Follow Lit AF Relationships on Instagram: @itsmesarahcohan.com

Visit the Lit AF Relationships Website: https://www.sarahcohan.com/

If you’re interested in one-on-one or couples coaching I’d love to help you heal old patterns to create healthy relationships where you feel like you’re on the same team. Get started by applying for a free 60-minute healthy relationships call here: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSddL3tie849uvgD1m31l4MAH3AzH0FlWgnsG0gPEBEzeDyPyg/viewform