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In this raw, unscripted solo episode, I’m pulling back the curtain on the state of the podcast and sharing the latest listener stats, community updates, and what the future holds for the show. But more importantly, we are diving deep into the single most critical survival skill a man needs when his marriage ends: the ability to soothe himself out of fight-or-flight mode.

When a crisis hits, your panic response takes over, and your logical thinking brain goes completely offline. I’ve watched too many good men willingly "bend over" and give up the entire farm legally just because they didn't know how to calm their own nervous system down before making permanent decisions.

Today, we are talking about the hard science of self-soothing—using simple, non-negotiable tools like targeted breathwork and releasing physical tension to get your brain back online so you can stop making reactive, destructive choices.

If you are currently sitting in the wreckage, feeling completely overwhelmed and lost, this one is your priority baseline. Your life is not over; your marriage is. It's time to learn how to manage the emotional firestorm so you can step back into leadership, get a plan, and realize you are going to be okay.

In this episode, we cover:

• The Phoenix State of Union: A transparent look at our latest download stats, why I'm looking for summer guest hosts, and thoughts on the future layout of the show.
• Giving Up the Farm: How operating out of panic causes men to make massive financial, relationship, and legal mistakes.
• The Biology of Calm: Why changing your physiology through strategic breathwork is your absolute best defense against the 2:00 AM panic loop.
• The Lone Wolf Trap: Recognizing when the weight is on your shoulders, why isolation can make the ghosts louder, and when to reach out for tactical support.

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You wake up in a cold sweat. You just had a hyper-realistic dream that you and your ex-wife were back together, or worse, having a massive fight. Now, your entire morning is ruined by confusion, anger, or guilt. Does this mean you still want her back? Does it mean you are failing at your recovery?

According to psychotherapist Nick Balaisis, the answer is a resounding no.

Today, we dive into the fascinating world of Jungian dream analysis. We debunk the myth that dreams are just random neurological "trash," and explore how your subconscious uses dreams to send you vital messages about your own healing. Nick breaks down why the "Ex" in your dream is rarely actually about her—instead, she often symbolizes a part of yourself that you are neglecting, such as your own capacity for self-care.

If you want to stop letting your nightmares ruin your mornings and start using them as a roadmap for your recovery, this episode will completely change how you view your time asleep.

In this episode, we cover:

• The "Trash" Theory: Why we shouldn't dismiss our dreams as just random neurological noise.
• The "Ex" Dream: Why dreaming of your former partner usually means you are looking for a specific trait within yourself (and why you shouldn't take it literally).
• "Man-Keeping": How men outsource their emotional self-care to their wives, and how to start cultivating an "inner mother" to take care of yourself.
• Decoding Nightmares: Are you running because you're being chased, or being chased because you're running? Finding the "seeds of rebirth" hidden inside scary dreams.
• The Unconscious Nudge: How your brain uses the dream world to force you to look at the pain you are avoiding during the day.

Guest Bio: Nick Balaisis is a psychotherapist in private practice in Ontario, Canada, and an instructor at the University of Waterloo. With training in Jungian psychology from Zurich, Switzerland, he helps individuals use dream analysis to access their unconscious, process complex life transitions, and live more authentically.

Resources:

• Read Nick's Work: Find his regular articles on Psychology Today.

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In this episode I cover where I am at, in life, lately, and how its ok to be...ok.

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You are treating your divorce like a project at work. You are trying to analyze it, strategize your way out of it, and "logic" away the pain. But no matter how many books you read or podcasts you listen to, you still feel stuck.

Why? Because you are trying to treat a broken heart like a math problem.

Today, we are doing the heavy psychological lifting with Dr. Chet Sunde. We break down the critical difference between treating anxiety and processing true emotion. Most men are conditioned to be problem-solvers, which means when grief hits, we immediately retreat into our heads to figure it out. Dr. Sunde explains why this "logic trap" actually prolongs your suffering and keeps you disconnected from the very feelings you need to process to move forward.

If you are exhausted from overthinking your divorce and want to finally understand how to get out of your head and into your recovery, this is the episode you need.

In this episode, we cover:

• Anxiety vs. Emotion: The physiological difference between spinning in your thoughts and actually processing grief.
• The Logic Trap: Why your elite problem-solving skills are actually working against your emotional recovery.
• Getting Out of Your Head: Practical ways to safely connect with what you are feeling in your body without getting overwhelmed.
• The Internal Family Systems (IFS) Lens: How different "parts" of us try to protect us from the pain of the divorce by using over-analysis and anxiety.
• Fixing vs. Feeling: How to drop the urge to "fix" the situation so you can actually heal from it.

Guest Bio: Dr. Chet Sunde is a psychologist and provider who specializes in helping individuals navigate profound life transitions, emotional processing, and deep psychological recovery.

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In this very short episode I invite you, to come guest host the show.

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In this episode I cover the lessons that I have learned in the 6 plus years since my ex-wife left me.

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"I haven't had to make a new friend in 15 years. Where do I even start?"

If your social circle vanished when your marriage ended, you are not alone. Many married men compartmentalize their friendships or rely on their wives to act as the "social director". When the divorce happens, that social calendar goes completely blank—and the silence can be deafening.

Today, we are changing how we look at loneliness. We aren't just talking about how much it hurts; we are treating it as a highly fixable skill deficit.

My guest is Dr. Ronald Riggio, a social personality psychologist and expert in interpersonal relationships and nonverbal communication. We break down the stark difference between solitude (being alone) and loneliness (the psychological pain of feeling disconnected). Dr. Riggio explains the terrifying physical toll of chronic loneliness—likening it to smoking 15 cigarettes a day—and gives us the exact blueprint for rebuilding our social lives from scratch.

If you are tired of spending your weekends alone but feel too "rusty" to put yourself out there, this episode is your roadmap to building a new, resilient social circle.

In this episode, we cover:

• The Loneliness Epidemic: Why the psychological pain of isolation is as dangerous to your health as smoking.
• Solitude vs. Loneliness: How introverts use solitude to recharge, and how to stop letting alone-time turn into painful isolation.
• Male vs. Female Friendships: Why men tend to have fewer, more compartmentalized friendships, and why we need to build deeper emotional connections with our buddies.
• Curing "Social Atrophy": What to do when your dating and socializing skills have completely atrophied during your marriage.
• Practical Reps: Why joining Toastmasters, taking an improv class, or practicing the "art of small talk" are the fastest ways to build your social courage.
• Stop Sending "Stay Away" Signals: How to adjust your nonverbal cues—like eye contact and posture—so you don't accidentally push people away.

Guest Bio:Dr. Ronald Riggio is a social personality psychologist, researcher, and recognized expert in leadership and interpersonal skills. He is the author of the Social Skills Inventory, a tool designed to map out interpersonal strengths and limitations.

Resources:

• Social Skills Inventory: mindgarden.com (Search: Social Skills Inventory) 

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In this episode I continue talking about my IFS journey and map out my parts.  In addition I provide you with a diagnostic to help you do the same, particularly if you are stuck and cant get over your ex.

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You are still going to work. You are still paying the bills. You are still showing up for your kids. When people ask how you are handling the divorce, you say, "I'm just tired".

But behind closed doors, you are exhausted, numb, and running on fumes.

Today, we are talking about the depression that clinicians rarely discuss: High-Functioning Depression. My guest is Dr. Stacy, a clinical psychologist with extensive experience in the VA healthcare system specializing in trauma and PTSD. We discuss the critical difference between "classic" depression—which often looks like a total inability to function—and high-functioning depression, where a man might look successful and put-together on the outside but is falling apart on the inside.

We break down how men hide behind the role of "The Provider" or "The Helper" using extreme competence as a shield against feeling their grief. If your depression looks more like irritability, compulsive busyness, and an absolute fear of sitting in silence, this episode is going to change how you view your mental health.

In this episode, we cover:

• The "I'm Fine" Trap: Why high-functioning depression is so easy to miss, and how the people around you might take your "strength" at face value.
• Symptoms in Disguise: Why depression often manifests as being reactive and snapping at people, or filling your schedule with compulsive busyness so you don't have to face the quiet.
• The First Step Out: Why you don't need a massive five-step plan to fix yourself; you just need to say one honest sentence to one person.
• The 5-4-3-2-1 Grounding Technique: A practical, immediate tool using your five senses to stop the internal spiral and bring yourself back to the present moment.
• Functioning vs. Healing: Dr. Stacy's powerful reminder that just because you are handling your responsibilities doesn't mean you are actually processing your grief.

Guest Bio:Dr. Stacy recently completed her postdoctoral training in clinical psychology, focusing heavily on PTSD, trauma, and serious mental illness within the VA healthcare system. She is also the author of Hope and Healing for Survivors, available through New Harbinger and Amazon, and a regular contributor to Psychology Today.

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In this episode I talk about IFS.  I define it and provide some insights that Ive gained in IFS therapy.

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