No Visible Bruises

In this episode, I discuss trauma bonding and what it is. Trauma bonding can be difficult to break, and many people do not understand what a trauma bond is. I talk about how I found myself in a relationship with a narcissist and how I would say things to myself like "is there something wrong with me?" I was a people pleaser and a "good person" who thought I needed everyone else to show me my worth. We end up attracting people like narcissists when we place our worth in someone's hands and we may feel good at some stages in the relationship, but eventually, things start to feel heavy. 

What you will learn in this episode:

• Why you may find that you can’t attract anyone BUT narcissists
• What trauma bonding is and why you must solve it
• How I healed myself from the narcissist addiction

Now if you’re reading this before Thursday, the 23rd of March, 2023, you’ll have time to join my FREE Masterclass called Breaking The Trauma Bond To A Narcissist. I'm going to be showing you all about what trauma bonding is. From what is a trauma bond, what happens in your brain and your body when we are trauma bonded to a narcissist, to of course the question we all want answered, how do you break it? You can find all the details to this FREE masterclass here: https://carolinestrawson.com/trauma-bond

Resources:

• FREE Masterclass Breaking The Trauma Bond To A Narcissist - Click here to enrol https://carolinestrawson.com/trauma-bond
• Join my FREE Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
• Access my low cost Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse
• Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/
• Find me on TikTok!: https://www.tiktok.com/@carolinestrawson 
• My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/

Today I’m going to explore the concept of generational trauma and how it can affect your response to traumatic events. I’ll explain the difference between intergenerational trauma and transgenerational trauma, and how the former refers to the projection of trauma from past generations onto the present, while the latter is the literal passing down of trauma at a cellular level. I also discuss my work with Somatic Experiencing and Internal Family Systems and how these tools can look at the experience of the body whilst we are going through life, and allow us to redefine our experience of what has happened in our life, as we can never change what has happened to us in the past, but what we can do is change our experience of it. 

What you will learn in this episode:

• How generational trauma impacts us in the present
• Why healing yourself will help the next generation
• What we can learn from Somatic Experiencing and Internal Family Systems
• Methods to approaching your trauma and redefining it

Generational trauma has a huge impact on your body's response to current trauma and so I’ll explain the different trauma responses that you may experience, such as fight, flight, freeze, and fawn, and how each one of these responses may come up depending on how generational trauma has impacted you. It’s so important to recognize the body's natural response to danger and trauma and how it can affect your ability to cope with abusive relationships, so I hope this episode helps you in your current situation and also helps you prepare for how you can handle trauma in the future. 

Resources:

• Join my FREE Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
• Access my low cost Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse
• Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/
• Find me on TikTok!: https://www.tiktok.com/@carolinestrawson 
• My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/

Today I’m going to be discussing the topic of being an empath and what that means. I’ll explore the difference between being an empath and being empathic, what a co-dependent is, and how to recover from co-dependency. I’ll also discuss the negative side effects of being an empath, from how it can attract abuse from narcissists, how it causes you to take on the pain of others and how this can all lead to physical ailments.

What you will learn in this episode:

• The difference between being an empath and being empathic
• What you can do to reduce the pain you feel from others
• What co-dependency is and a way to heal from it

I’ll share strategies for empaths to move from being exhausted to empowered, what you can do to separate the pain of others from your own, and how to reduce physical issues like inflammation and swelling. By sharing my personal journey, I hope to provide you with the resources and strategies you need to live your best life as an empath or co-dependent. I know that sometimes it may seem like you’ll always be stuck in a downward spiral, but I’m going to make sure you have the tools to not only recover but to also live a better life going forward. 

Resources:

• Join my FREE Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
• Access my low cost Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse
• Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/
• Find me on TikTok!: https://www.tiktok.com/@carolinestrawson 
• My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/

In today's episode, I want to bring your attention to a particularly perilous type of narcissist known as the covert narcissist. Typically, we associate narcissism with individuals who are extremely extroverted and crave attention, often commanding the room's focus. However, it's crucial to note that not all extroverted people are narcissistic - this is far from the truth. The issue with covert narcissists is that they operate under the radar, making them much more difficult to detect until it's too late and you've become entangled with them. Once the relationship is established, the narcissistic abuse begins. In this episode, I'll be examining the ways in which you can spot a covert narcissist, their tactics for achieving their goals, and how to steer clear of them.

What you will learn in this episode:

• The difference between a narcissist and a cover narcissist
• How to spot a covert narcissist
• Why a covert narcissist can be extremely dangerous

Knowing the various ways in which a covert narcissist behaves can help you identify them before it's too late. One of the tell-tale signs is their tendency to play the victim, refusing to take responsibility and instead blaming external factors for their situation. This behaviour is a major red flag in the early stages of a relationship with a covert narcissist. Another tactic they employ is making you feel guilty, often through expert manipulation techniques like gaslighting. They may convince you that you're solely responsible for the relationship's problems, leading you to believe that you're the one at fault. To illustrate these behaviours in real-world scenarios, I'll be sharing my own experiences with my covert narcissistic ex-husband and the warning signs I missed, as well as offering advice on how to avoid making similar mistakes.

Resources:

• Join my FREE Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
• Access my low cost Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse
• Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/
• Find me on TikTok!: https://www.tiktok.com/@carolinestrawson 
• My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/

Today, I will be delving into the financial dimension of divorce with Rhonda Noordyk. Rhonda Noordyk, a CDFA® certified professional, specializes in guiding women through the financial complexities of divorce. She has made a name for herself by trailblazing new strategies that empower women to navigate the financial aspects of divorce with confidence. Rhonda's expertise as a financial strategist helps her clients make informed decisions and determine their best financial options going forward.

A glimpse into what you’ll learn in this episode:

• Why you can leave an abusive relationship no matter your financial situation
• How to be assertive whilst avoiding conflict 
• How the divorce process can lead to post-separation financial abuse

During this discussion, Rhonda and I explore the roots of her passion for empowering women, tracing back to her childhood, 12 years in the financial industry, and experience in higher education. We delve into the unfortunate reality that many women remain in abusive relationships due to their financial circumstances. Rhonda provides invaluable insight into why it is crucial to leave an abusive relationship regardless of your finances and how you can do so. Don't miss the conclusion where Rhonda offers guidance on what steps to take if you feel trapped, scared, and uncertain about your financial situation before initiating a divorce.

Connect with Rhonda:

• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/rhondanoordyk/?hl=en
• Divorce Conversations for Women Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/divorce-conversations-for-women/id1368648405
• Women’s Financial Wellness Center: https://wfwcdivorce.com

Resources:

• Join my FREE Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
• Access my low cost Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse
• Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/
• Find me on TikTok!: https://www.tiktok.com/@carolinestrawson
• My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/

So today is Valentine's Day, and unfortunately, this can be a difficult day for those who have suffered from narcissistic abuse. While this day is meant to celebrate love, a narcissist can use it as a tool to hurt and manipulate. In this episode, I'll share strategies to help you manage the emotions you may experience on valentines day, advice on healing post-narcissistic trauma, and ways to love yourself on this special day. Also, you may have noticed a slight change in the podcast title. I have decided to include the word "abuse" in the title of the podcast again since it cannot be changed that we have suffered abuse. However, we can work on healing from the trauma caused by the abuse. By acknowledging that we have been abused and not shying away from that word, we can make progress in our trauma recovery.

What you will learn in this episode:

• The strategies a narcissist may employ to manipulate or control you on Valentine's Day.
• How to protect yourself on Valentine's Day and resist narcissistic abuse
• What you can do to love yourself and practice self-care

On these special days of the year, such as valentines day, the narcissist can disappear, and this happened to me. I’ll share my story of how my partner disappeared before we were supposed to go on an exciting camping trip with my children. I’ll discuss how my ex used this opportunity to ruin a holiday to exert control over me and my children, and how you can avoid the same thing happening to you. On Valentine’s day especially, believing that you are lovable can be difficult, but it is important to remember how special and unique you are. So today I want you to practice self-care and do something that makes you feel good. Focus on the positive aspects of yourself, and show yourself some kindness. Remind yourself that you are worthy of love and that you deserve to be celebrated on this special day.

Resources:

• Join my FREE Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
• Access my low cost Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse
• Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/
• Find me on TikTok!: https://www.tiktok.com/@carolinestrawson
• My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/

Today I am speaking with Chris Barry and Lisa Johnson, the co-founders of Been There Got Out. Lisa is a high-conflict divorce coach and a certified domestic violence advocate who has successfully represented herself in numerous court cases. Chris, who developed the Been There Got Out podcast and manages the website and technology, is a certified high-conflict divorce coach specializing in writing high-conflict parenting plans. Both Chris and Lisa have personal experience with costly divorces, totalling over $400,000, which inspired them to coach individuals facing high-conflict relationships, divorce, custody battles, and co-parenting challenges. Their goal is to help these individuals achieve the best possible outcome in family court and beyond.

A glimpse into what you’ll learn in this episode:

• How the court system is exacerbating post-separation abuse
• The unknown resources (other than lawyers) available to aid you in navigating divorce
• What to expect when navigating the court system and why "justice" may not be obtained

In this episode, Chris and Lisa delve into what to do during a divorce. They discuss putting together a plan, keeping children safe, building a legal team, comprehending the legal system, and anticipating the other party's actions to prepare for any potential challenges. They also touch on the support and guidance they offer through their coaching program, Legal Abuse Support Group, their social media community, and their upcoming book, "Been There Got Out: Toxic Relationships, High Conflict Divorce, and How to Stay Sane Under Insane Circumstances." Their aim is to assist individuals facing these difficult circumstances in avoiding common mistakes and achieving the best possible outcome with minimal impact on themselves and their children.

Pre-Order Lisa & Chris's New Book - Been There Got Out 

Connect with Lisa & Chris:

• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/been_there_got_out/
• YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@BeenThereGotOut
• Podcast: https://beentheregotout.buzzsprout.com/
• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/BeenThereGotOut
• TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@been_there_got_out
• LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/been-there-got-out/
• Pre-Order Lisa & Chris's New Book - Been There Got Out 

Resources:

• Become an Accredited Narcissistic Trauma Informed Coach: https://go.carolinestrawson.com/NTICC3
• Join my FREE Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
• Access my low-cost Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse
• Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/
• Find me on TikTok!: https://www.tiktok.com/@carolinestrawson 
• My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/

If you're experiencing physical pain, chronic illness, or fatigue, and you've suffered from narcissistic abuse, it's possible that your trauma is the root cause of these physical symptoms. In this episode, I'll discuss the connection between abuse and physical reactions, including how even mental abuse can lead to physical pain. Many individuals view chronic illness and narcissistic abuse as separate entities, but they often go hand in hand. To fully heal from chronic illness, it's necessary to address and heal from the narcissistic abuse as well.

What you will learn in this episode:

• How physical pain can indicate that our body is trying to protect us from trauma
• Why healing from narcissistic abuse can alleviate physical ailments
• The role cortisol plays in how we react to narcissistic abuse

I have observed a strong link between narcissistic abuse and chronic illness not only in the communities I serve but also in my own family. I'll share my mother's story of being diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis and her lifelong struggle with it, and how I've come to understand that her arthritis was her body's way of protecting her from the inner pain caused by childhood abuse. I'll also delve into the connection between abuse and physical ailments such as alopecia, fibromyalgia, rheumatoid arthritis, and IBS, and how cortisol can contribute to the development of these conditions.

Resources:

• Somatic Healing & Vagus Nerve Toning Programme: https://carolinestrawson.com/regulate
• Join my FREE Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
• Access my low cost Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse
• Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/
• Find me on TikTok!: https://www.tiktok.com/@carolinestrawson 
• My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/

Today, I am SO excited to share with you a way to heal from narcissistic abuse, and at the same time help people who are struggling with the same situation. My passion is to assist people like you in overcoming the trauma of narcissistic abuse. As someone who has experienced this, I understand the difficulties of retraining the mind to move past the trauma. So, my aim is to share my knowledge and techniques with you, to aid in your personal healing journey, and to equip you with the tools to support and assist others facing similar struggles. Together, we can break the cycle of trauma and pave the way for a transformative path of healing and growth.

What you will learn in this episode:

• How to heal oneself and assist others
• The tools to retrain yourself to take your life to the next level
• Why helping others assists in your own healing journey

Listen in to learn how you can become a part of the world's only accredited coaching certification program that specializes in narcissistic abuse, where you’ll be able to transform your pain into a purposeful career by becoming an ICF and CPD Accredited Narcissistic Trauma Informed Coach. You can learn more by visiting this page: https://carolinestrawson.com/ntic

Resources:

• Turn your pain into your purpose and become an ICF and CPD Accredited Narcissistic Trauma Informed Coach: https://carolinestrawson.com/ntic
• Join my FREE Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
• Access my low-cost Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse
• Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/
• Find me on TikTok!: https://www.tiktok.com/@carolinestrawson
• My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/

Christa Cusack is a writer and coach who specializes in navigating the complex and challenging landscape of high-conflict narcissistic divorce. Christa has personally faced the struggles of post-separation abuse, but has found ways to cope and heal through the use of comedy writing, somatic work, self-hypnosis, reiki, and her own narcissism-informed coaching tools and methods. She has channelled her experiences into creating helpful resources such as card decks and journals, as well as books and screenplays, all with the goal of supporting and helping others in similar situations.

A glimpse into what you’ll learn in this episode:

• Tips for infusing humour into the challenging experience of coping with narcissistic abuse
• The link between early childhood trauma and adult responses to abuse
• Strategies for rebuilding and creating a new life following narcissistic abuse and post-traumatic stress

In this episode, Christa delves into how she discovered the true nature of her relationship with her partner after leaving, and how she used her own intuition to navigate the trauma she faced. We'll also discuss the common tendency to keep ourselves "busy" as a means of avoiding our own intuition and how to avoid falling into that trap. Christa will also share the steps she took to rebuild her life in her 40's after experiencing the trauma of narcissistic abuse, physical illness, and post-traumatic stress.

Connect with Christa:

• Website: www.qualitysoulcoaching.com
• TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@christacusackoneill
• Card Deck: https://www.deckible.com/card-decks/o0-52-pick-yourself-up-deck-deal-feel-heal-christa-cusack-o-neill

Resources:

• The Unseen Wounds of Women: https://www.amazon.com/Unseen-Wounds-Women-Collection-Invisible/dp/B0BCSFF5KS
• Become an Accredited Narcissistic Trauma Informed Coach: https://go.carolinestrawson.com/NTICC3
• Join my FREE Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
• Access my low-cost Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse
• Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/
• Find me on TikTok!: https://www.tiktok.com/@carolinestrawson 
• My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/