No Visible Bruises

I was recently a guest on the We Can Do Hard Things podcast with Glennon Doyle and I wanted to dive deeper into what I discussed there and share with you the issues about the medicalization of narcissistic personality disorder and why we can’t treat narcissism after the fact without looking at the root cause first. I’ll also share my opinion on the overuse of the word narcissist and why people casually putting that label on others is dangerous.

What you will learn in this episode:

• The root cause of narcissistic personality disorder
• How a narcissist should be diagnosed through Internal Family Systems
• Why you’re negative habits could be caused by narcissistic abuse

In this episode, I’ll also discuss the varying levels of narcissistic abuse and what can cause a narcissist to escalate their behaviour, why you shouldn’t try to change a narcissist, and why you can only focus on your own healing. A massive welcome to those of you who are joining me for the first time from Glennon’s podcast, I hope I can help you on your journey of recovering from a narcissist. 

You can listen to my episode on We Can Do Hard Things with Glennon Doyle here:

https://open.spotify.com/episode/32GVLWRE73ioSSKSFvNSXZ?si=dfzFyKfLTMWpN3q7DbNEvw

Podcast Resources:

• Join my FREE Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
• Access my low cost Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse
• Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/
• Find me on TikTok!: https://www.tiktok.com/@carolinestrawson 
• My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/

Anxiety, depression, self-sabotage and brain fog are all symptoms that we’d love to be able to solve, but learning why you have these symptoms is necessary to start the healing process. Today I’m so excited to bring one of my certified coaches onto the podcast. Valerie Clark is an expert in midlife, menopause and narcissistic abuse and we’re going to discuss how these all interact together and how they have a significant impact on our healing and outlook. 

What you will learn in this episode:

• How to recognise trauma and understand how it impacts your midlife wellbeing
• Strategies to reclaim your health and well-being during menopause 
• How to find your sense of worth, live your life and not just exist 

In this episode, Valerie shares her personal journey of realizing the profound impact of trauma on her experience of menopause. She transformed her midlife from mere survival to a thriving phase. Valerie's expertise and insights will empower you and instil a belief in the possibility of finding light at the end of the tunnel.

Connect with Valerie here:

• FREE WEBINAR 1 June @ 7pm, Reclaiming Your Power: A woman’s journey to healing from narcissistic abuse: https://49d1-valerie.systeme.io/reclaiming-your-power-as-a-woman-webinar
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/valerieclarkcoaching
• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/midlifeandmenopause
• LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/valerie-clark-coaching-midlife-menopause-mind/

Podcast Resources:

• Join my FREE Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
• Access my low cost Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse
• Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/
• Find me on TikTok!: https://www.tiktok.com/@carolinestrawson 
• My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com

Adopting a positive mindset towards divorce can have a profound impact on the outcome, your emotional recovery, and financial independence. I am delighted to be joined today by Karen Chellew and Catherine Shanahan, who will guide you in taking small but meaningful steps to achieve a better outcome while navigating a divorce with a narcissistic partner. Let's move past denial and begin the journey towards a brighter future.

What you will learn in this episode:

• How to get what you’re entitled to, not what your ex-narcissist thinks you're entitled to.
• Tactics to take emotions out of the divorce and approach negotiations with a well-thought-out strategy
• Why taking control of your divorce can rapidly improve your healing from the narcissist

In this episode, Karen and Catherine will share their personal experiences of going through emotionally challenging divorces that centered around finances. These experiences have motivated them to assist others facing similar difficulties. Be sure to listen to the entire episode as they share valuable tips and strategies to help you navigate your own divorce smoothly and ensure that you receive what you deserve.

Learn more about Karen, Catherine and My Divorce Solution here:

• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mydivorcesolution/
• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/mydivorcesolution
• Website: https://mydivorcesolution.com/
• MDS Financial Portrait Assessment: https://mydivorcesolution.com/financial-portrait/
• MDS Community and Online Course

Podcast Resources:

• Join my FREE Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
• Access my low cost Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse
• Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/
• Find me on TikTok!: https://www.tiktok.com/@carolinestrawson 
• My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/

We have the power to either let our urges define us or to harness them to become stronger and wiser. Learning how to manage our impulses is crucial in all areas of life, especially when it comes to dealing with a narcissist. In this episode, I will share with you a positive psychology intervention that has helped me become less impulsive and that can help you too.

What you will learn in this episode:

• The importance of managing impulses in all areas of life, especially when dealing with a narcissist.
• A positive psychology intervention that can help you become less impulsive and manage your urges effectively.
• Techniques for recognizing the value of resisting your urges and challenging your mindset to make rapid improvements in different areas of your life.

I'll show you how recognizing the value of resisting your urges and challenging your mindset can lead to rapid improvements in your life. This intervention will not only help you deal with a narcissist but can also benefit you in other areas such as avoiding unhealthy habits like overeating, procrastination, and impulsive shopping. Save this episode for future use and use the meditation to help you navigate your future urges with ease.

Resources:

• Join my FREE Live & Interactive Workshop on Learning How To Positive Parent With A Narcissist: https://carolinestrawson.com/workshop
• Join my FREE Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
• Access my low cost Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse
• Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/
• Find me on TikTok!: https://www.tiktok.com/@carolinestrawson 
• My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/

To become your own rescuer is the ultimate gift you can give yourself. In this episode, I'll share my personal experience of realizing this truth during my own healing journey. I’m sure that if I had known this earlier, my healing process would have been much quicker.

What you will learn in this episode:

•    The importance of rescuing yourself and taking control of your own happiness. •    The negative consequences of solely relying on others to fulfill your happiness and sense of self-worth. •    How to empower yourself and prioritise self-love and care

I'll delve into how putting my happiness into the hands of others for decades led to a loss of self-worth. While helping and being kind to others absolutely brings me joy, I've come to understand that my own happiness cannot solely depend on the actions of others. My desire to please others had built up anger and resentment inside me, which is common in narcissistic relationships. I hope this episode serves as a catalyst in your own healing journey, guiding you towards realizing the importance of rescuing yourself.

Resources:

•    Join my FREE Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse •    Access my low cost Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse •    Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/ •    Find me on TikTok!: https://www.tiktok.com/@carolinestrawson  •    My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/

In my past episodes, I have often discussed how narcissists can manifest as spouses, but it's important to note that they can appear in various other forms, such as bosses, parents, and even friends, which is the topic of this episode. I will be sharing my personal experience of how I unknowingly fell into the trap of a narcissistic friend shortly after my ex-husband left me. It's interesting to note that just as one narcissist left my life, another entered it.

What you will learn in this episode:

• Ways in which others may exploit you during your recovery process
• Strategies to build and maintain a positive support system
• Reasons why you may lose some friends from your previous narcissistic relationship

Narcissistic abuse can serve as an alarm clock that awakens you to things you may have never seen before, such as being exploited by others during that period. Through this episode, I aim to underscore the significance of having a support system following narcissistic abuse while also being wary of falling prey to another narcissist. I will delve into how to navigate friendships in the aftermath of narcissistic abuse and ensure that the people around you have your best interests at heart.

Resources:

• Join my FREE Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
• Access my low cost Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse
• Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/
• Find me on TikTok!: https://www.tiktok.com/@carolinestrawson 
• My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/

Receiving judgement from others about the narcissistic abuse you have experienced is unfortunately common, and it can be emotionally draining to try to explain yourself to people who may not understand the dynamics of a narcissistic relationship. Narcissistic abusers often manipulate and gaslight their victims, causing them to behave in ways that may seem unnatural in a healthy relationship. This can make it challenging to communicate to others what happened and how it feels to be judged for it. In this episode, I will share strategies to effectively communicate your experience in narcissistic relationships and navigate the judgment from others with empathy and self-care in mind.

What you will learn in this episode:

• How to communicate your narcissistic abuse to others
• The ways in which narcissists gaslight and manipulate
• Why people are quick to cast judgement over your behaviour during narcissistic abuse

FREE MASTERCLASS - The Psychology Of A Narcissist: https://carolinestrawson.showit.site/psychology-of-a-narcissist-masterclass

To highlight the challenges of judgment and gaslighting in narcissistic abuse, I'll share a story in this episode about my ex-husband, who worked as an air steward, and went missing for over 8 hours after I expected him home. When he finally returned, he spun a fabricated story about saving a life to deflect from his absence. He used this to gaslight me, making me feel like I was the problem for being worried. It left me feeling confused and invalidated, a stark reminder of how narcissistic abusers distort reality and avoid accountability, leaving their victims dismissed.

Resources:

• FREE MASTERCLASS - The Psychology Of A Narcissist: https://carolinestrawson.showit.site/psychology-of-a-narcissist-masterclass
• Join my FREE Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
• Access my low cost Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse
• Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/
• Find me on TikTok!: https://www.tiktok.com/@carolinestrawson 
• My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/

Many of us have asked ourselves, 'Am I the narcissist?' If you're questioning your own behavior, it's unlikely that you are a narcissist. However, understanding why you may feel this way and why a true narcissist would never ask this question can shed light on the situation, and that’s what I’m going to discuss in this episode. 

What you will learn in this episode:

• How narcissists use gaslighting to flip the script and convince you that you're the narcissist.
• The personality traits of a narcissist.
• The process of how individuals develop narcissism.

Gaslighting can make us believe that we're the narcissist in a relationship, especially when we're in a state of freeze due to narcissistic abuse. In this episode, I'll share strategies and mindsets to avoid falling into this trap and offer guidance for handling gaslighting. To better understand the behavior of narcissists, it's also helpful to explore how they develop in childhood, particularly if they were raised as golden children, and I hope this insight into their upbringing will help you understand that you’re not the narcissist. 

Resources:

• Join my FREE Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
• Access my low cost Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse
• Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/
• Find me on TikTok!: https://www.tiktok.com/@carolinestrawson 
• My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/

There is a growing body of evidence that suggests a link between narcissistic abuse and various autoimmune disorders, such as fibromyalgia, rheumatoid arthritis, and various inflammatory issues. Upon closer examination of the onset of these physical ailments, a correlation with the traumatic experiences of narcissistic abuse often arises. In this episode, I explore how our bodies utilize physical pain as a coping mechanism to divert our attention from the abuse we are enduring.

What you will learn in this episode:

• Why our body uses pain as a protective mechanism
• How emotional pain can translate into physical pain
• Tips for reducing inflammation and alleviating the symptoms of autoimmune disorders

Additionally, I will share my personal experience with how Internal Family Systems (IFS) helped me understand that my mother's rheumatoid arthritis was likely a result of her own traumatic experiences. My ultimate goal of this episode is to empower you to identify the underlying causes of your pain so that you can begin to heal from within, rather than relying solely on medication or resigning yourself to a lifetime of suffering. It is my hope that this episode will serve as a helpful resource in this journey towards healing.

Resources:

• Join my FREE Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
• Access my low cost Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse
• Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/
• Find me on TikTok!: https://www.tiktok.com/@carolinestrawson 
• My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/

In this episode, I dive into the word "narcissist" and why it's such a hot topic. It can be tough to talk about our experiences with narcissistic abuse because some people may shrug it off and say we're unfairly labelling someone. I'll explore why this is the case and how it impacts those of us who are suffering.

What you will learn in this episode:

• The flaws in diagnosing narcissistic personality disorder
• How to prioritize safety and well-being in abusive situations
• Why using the label "narcissist" has become divisive

I’ll discuss the official process of diagnosing someone with narcissistic personality disorder and why it's severely flawed. It's essential to note that just because someone isn't diagnosed with NPD it doesn't mean they can't still exhibit abusive behavior. Abuse is abuse, and it's never okay. Whether your partner has been diagnosed or not, it's crucial to prioritize your safety and well-being. Even if those around you don't believe you, know that your experience is valid, and you deserve to be safe. I hope this episode will provide insight and support for those of you who may be struggling with narcissistic abuse.

Resources:

• Join my FREE Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse
• Access my low cost Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse
• Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/
• Find me on TikTok!: https://www.tiktok.com/@carolinestrawson 
• My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/