WHAT MAKES A MAN IN TO A FUCKBOY.

Women do.

This is a title, a position, a honorary title that only women can grant men.  Men can’t designate themselves fuckboys.

How and when does a woman create a fuckboy?.  A woman creates a fuckboy when she has sex with a man she does not respect.

The woman does not think that his man is a man of substance.

The woman does not think this man is well accomplished in life.

A woman certainly does not see this man as a long-term partner.

The woman most certainly is not inspired to have this man’s babies.

Furthermore:

The woman finds this man easy to control.

The woman finds this man easy to manage.

If she thinks so little of this man, why does she fuck him?

Precisely because he is easy to control.

Precisely because she has no really desire to surrender to him.

Precisely because she knows she can get rid of him at any point without suffering much.

Precisely because she knows she is not going to be offering this man her heart.

Does the fuckboy have any positive qualities at all for which the woman picks him and chooses to fuck him?

Sure.  He’s probably at least a little bit pretty.

He’s probably at least decent in bed.

He’s probably ok company and looks good on her arms.

He’s better than being alone when you don’t want to be.

— Om Rupani

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IT’S DISASTROUS WHEN MEN CAN’T HANDLE THE TRUTH.

Denying reality is not a manly virtue.

My recommendation to men is that they have negative temperaments.  Be pessimistic.  Be on the lookout for disasters.  Expect disasters.

I believe this negative temperament is also a virtue of leaderships.   We expect our leaders to spot the dangers that are headed our way and to confront those dangers.

The first thing we need to accomplish that is to seek out bad news!  Bad news is filled with raw data that we can now be used to course-correct and create success.

Avoiding bad news precludes those badly needed course corrections.

— OmRupani

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BURNING IN LOVE IS ONE WAY TO HEAL ABANDONMENT ISSUES

This is the path of exposure therapy.  It is the direct path to dealing with the issue.  It requires a bit of courage.  And perhaps one has to already be at a certain level of development in order to undertake this more advanced medicine.  Not everybody is ready for it.  But I see more and more people who are in fact ready for it.

One reason we are ready for it is that we are living in times of abundance.  We are not living in privation.  We are not going hungry day after day.  We are not living in fear.  We are not living day to day under fear of survival.

And the gift of these times of safety and stability and abundance is that they are an opportunity for us to examine our survival fears and to release them.

One of the biggest ways we can heal our survival fear is by detaching IMMATURE LOVE from SURVIVAL FEAR.

Let me repeat that — one of the biggest healings we need to undergo is to detach IMMATURE LOVE from our SURVIVAL FEARS.

That’s what the architecture of insecure attachment is.  That is what the nature of most people’s craving for RELATIONSHIPS is.  It is anchored in fear of survival.

As long as we keep treating love and partnerships as insurance against fear of survival, we remain scared and contracted.  We remain infantile.

There are other possibilities that exist in love apart from it being a tool for healing our childhood wounds.  One of the bigger portals that opens up for a couple when their love matures and turns away from childhood wounding is : ROMANCE!

There is a great Romance awaiting all of us when we are ready to stand burning in Love and to not let it overwhelm us with fears of the past.

—Om Rupani

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WOMEN SHOULD NOT ENTER RELATIONSHIPS THROUGH THEIR HEART

This may seem like an unconventional notion, but try it on for size.

I see the proposition of wanting the man you are having feelings towards to commit to you as a ploy for putting out the fires of the heart, not nurturing them.

Each person’s heart journey is their own.  Our heart activation is a spiritual gift.  But how do we respond when the excruciating flames of our heart get lit?

Do we foster those flames?  Do we fan those excruciating flames?  Or do we find clever ploys to put out the flames.

Most of the time, we are taking the clever and camouflaged path of containing and subduing the flames.  And by doing this, we are sabotaging our heart journey, not undertaking it.

— Om Rupani

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MANY WOMEN COACHES ARE LEECHES ON THE PAIN BODIES OF THE WOMEN THEY COACH

These coaches firmly embody the RESCUER position on the Victimhood triangle.  The Rescuer position is the most clever.  It is the most camouflaged.  It is the most sinister.  

The Rescuer is the one who is most adept at lying and deceiving.  The Rescuers commit their robberies in broad day light, in plain sight of the people they are stealing from and still manage to get away with.  They are brilliant.  It really is something to watch this open-air theft occurring all over the place.

The Rescuer manages this open-view robbery through superlative camouflage.  The Rescuer has superb mastery in being the wolf in sheep’s clothing.

It’s the robber who comes to do their job dressed as a police officer or an EMT worker.

The Rescuer is so successful at what they do, because they have learned how to LIE WITH THE TRUTH!  This requires great intelligence and skill to do!

The rescuer, like a good magician, accomplishes their feat by controlling their victim’s focus and attention.

The rescuer manipulates you by telling you what you are so desperate to hear.  By doing so they in fact make you a willing participant in the robbery.  It may be even wrong to say they rob you.  They can be so convincing, that by the time they are done with you, you voluntary hand over to them your wallet and watch and jewelry.

— Om Rupani

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WHY CASUAL SEX SUCKS FOR WOMEN

Casual sex sucks because the people who engage in the casual sex suck at sex.

Women have not acquired much sexual mastery.  Their hook-ups and casual dates have not acquired any sexual mastery.  Consequently, their sex sucks.

Neither of them knows how to activate a lover’s energetic system.  Neither of them is even present or interested in activating their lover’s energetic system.

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The second big reason Casual Sex sucks for women is that women are having the sex for the wrong reasons.  There are many wrong reasons for having sex, but one that is particularly big for women is this one : Women have sex to prop up their self-esteem.

This is a fool’s errand.  This never works.  The process of attempting this has an addictive quality.  The highs, even if you mange to get them, are soon followed by the lows.

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The third big reason why women’s sexual engagement is entirely off the mark is that they are using sex as a method or means to get the man to bond with them.  Women think having sex with a man is how you inspire him to see you as a partner, to get him to desire to go deeper with.  To make you his wife!

This is incorrect.  Sex, in fact, has nothing to do with inspiring a man to start consider a particular woman as his life parter.

—Om Rupani

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WHAT WOMEN WANT FROM MEN

This is a great conversation with my dear friends Dana & Meredith on what they are looking for in men today.

They are going to be part of the women practitioners for my upcoming course for men: Dating & Dominance For The Modern Man.

Even if you are encountering this conversation after the course date, this conversation is timeless.  And I have other courses always in the pipeline that offer men similar education and feedback from women.

— Om Rupani

OmRupani.org

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POLARITY IS NOT FUNDAMENTAL TO MAN-WOMAN RELATING SUCCESS, AGREEMENT IS.

Many couples are hearing about polarized relating these days.  Many couples are coming into get trained in polarized relating.  All of which is great.

The piece that many couples are missing is : AGREEMENT!

Many long term couples are not in agreement with each other.

Many couples have been carrying complaints and resentments against each other for years.

Many couples can’t seem to come into agreement with each other over small, everyday matters.

Attempting to create Polarity in this ambiance of Disagreement is disastrous.

Polarity requires a higher degree of Agreement between people.

My advice to couples is, first and foremost create Agreement in your relationship.

Clean up your past resentments.  Let go of your anger.

If there has been breaking of agreements in the past and trust has been lost, do your utmost to repair that.

Come to a point where you can approve of your partner, where you find your partner right.

If you manage to accomplish that, you are almost home in regard to creating a happy and functioning relationship.

Even if you want to create polarity between the two of you, you need to be in Agreement that both of you in fact want to create Polarity in your relationship.

There is no bypassing Agreement to create Polarity.  It won’t work.  It will in fact prove disastrous.

Find Agreement.

Come into Agreement.

Agreement is the cornerstone of functional relationships.  

Agreement is fundamental.

Even Polarity is absolutely not possible without Agreement.

— Om Rupani

OmRupani.org

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One prominent phenomenon I see these days is how much women are projecting their own esteem issues onto the men they are relating with.

It isn't so much that the men they are with are doing anything bad or abusive to devalue the women.  It's simply that the the woman is FEELING devalued.

This phenomenon is very parallel to what people with Narcissistic Personality Disorders experience.  Somebody, somewhere does or says something, and the Narcissist FEELS hurt; they feel offended; they feel diminished.  This is called a Narcissistic Injury.

Nobody is out to cause a Narcissist this Narcissistic Injury.  It occurs because the narcissist's self-esteem is always hanging by a thread.

Once the injury has occurred, what does the Narcissist do?  They seek revenge.  They hurt the other.

I see women demolishing their relationship with men in similar fashion.  They are rejecting men not for who those men are.  They are rejecting them after projecting their own insecurities and negative feelings about themselves onto the men.

Nobody can solve our esteem issues for us.  It isn't anybody else's job to make us see and feel our own value.

-- Om Rupani
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IF YOU ARE CONTROLLING YOUR MAN, YOU HAVEN’T COMMITTED TO HIM YET.

The central element needed for functionality and peace between men and women is AGREEMENT.

If there is one poisonous impact that Feminism and Patriarchy Theory has had on the psyches of modern women, it is to convince them that they should never come into agreement with a man, with their man, with men in general, with masculinity.

This lack of agreement is the poison pill in man-woman relating.

It is all that is needed to sabotage, distort, fill with misery and scuttle man-woman intimate relationships.

With this piece of poisonous programming installed in their brains, what are women prone to doing in regards to their approach towards men?

Women still need men.  They still want to be with men.  They still want to seduce men.  They still want to go after qualified men.  They still want those men to pick them.  They want those men to ‘bond’ with them and get into long term relationships and marriages with them.

If women want all this with men, while retaining that faulty bit of programming that says, ‘Never cooperate with a man!’, how are women to proceed?

They proceed with control.  Control is the replacement for agreement.

Coming into agreement with their man would have offered women a win-win possibility with their men.

Control is an antagonistic technique.  We try to control our enemies.  We control and manipulate people we are NOT acting in good faith with.  We control and manipulate people we are playing a zero-sum game with — where we are trying to win OVER them, where we are trying to win at their cost.

This destructive attitude is quite prevalent in our man-woman relating culture these days.  Listen to women talk about why they want to get in relationships and what they want out of the men they are looking for, and you will hear a laundry list of stuff that the women want to get OUT of the men.  What you don’t hear is how the women want to PARTNER with men.

You don’t hear from the women how they want to COOPERATE with their men.

You don’t want to hear what the women are willing and happy to sacrifice in order to come into AGREEMENT with their men.

In the absence of agreement, women never really commit to any man they are with.  Commitment is about two people being on the same side.  Commitment is about being in a win-win relation with each other.  There is no room for CONTROL in a committed relationship. Control and manipulation only erodes the commitment two people have made to each other.

— Om Rupani

OmRupani.org

www.OmRupani.org