INTIMACY ISSUES WITH EUROPEAN COUPLES

Are there intimacy issues among European men and women that are a bit different from other couples?

This is a conversation with my collaborator Laurie Handlers about things we have heard European men and women complaint about regarding their relationships.  

These are three issues we have heard:

1. European women are bored with European men.

2. European men are mama’s boys.

3. European women are resigned, passive & uninspiring.

These are issues we feel can address and contribute to in the workshop we offer : TANTRA meets BDSM.

— OmRupani.org

Austria Course Page :  https://omrupani.org/tantra-meets-bdsm-austria

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THE MODERN WOMAN IS WIDELY ADDICTED TO EXPERIENCING DISAPPOINTMENT IN THE MASCULINE.

One of our great energetic and spiritual blindspot is this : We don’t see how addicted we are to certain negative emotions and negative experiences.

We all have a pain body.  We all have pain from the past.  We all have pain connected to our primary relationships with our parents.

We are all prone to repeating this pain over and over in our connections.

We enroll other people into our pain and drama to recreate these negative experiences.

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On the path to awakening, we need to become aware of these automatic cycles.  By being aware of them, we can bring those dark desires out of our blindspots and into the spotlight of our awareness.

If we can admit to ourselves that we are in fact addicted to certain negative emotions, now we can do something real and meaningful with that dark energy.

One radical solution, is to go into those negative emotions and experiences directly and deliberately, instead of manifesting them from our unconscious.

The game changes when we can play with these energies with volition.

Something new becomes possible after that turning point.

— Om Rupani.

OmRupani.org

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YOUR RELATIONSHIPS MIGHT BE FAILING BECAUSE YOU ARE A LOUSY COMPANION.

Companionship is one of the main reasons we seek out connections of any kind.

We make friends with people whose companionship we enjoy.

If we enjoy the companionship of our co-workers, our work is more easy and pleasurable.  If we don’t enjoy the companionship of our con-workers; work can become very unpleasant and stressful.

Even the siblings we bond deeper with, I will offer, are the ones we ‘get along’ with better.  We enjoy their company more.  

In intimate relationships, how our companionship is going with our intimate partner is one of the main determinants of our relationships satisfaction.  But very few people have their eye on this relationships metric.

Ask couples what they would like to improve or what they fight about most, most are likely to name other issues — money, sex, domestic chores, parental duties, lack of time.  Very few have the awareness about how much they are enjoying their partner’s companionship or not.

THREE QUALITIES THAT MAKE A BAD COMPANION

1.  NEGATIVITY

2.  SELF - ABSORPTION

3.  NO EFFORT

—Om Rupani

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WHAT MAKES A MAN IN TO A FUCKBOY.

Women do.

This is a title, a position, a honorary title that only women can grant men.  Men can’t designate themselves fuckboys.

How and when does a woman create a fuckboy?.  A woman creates a fuckboy when she has sex with a man she does not respect.

The woman does not think that his man is a man of substance.

The woman does not think this man is well accomplished in life.

A woman certainly does not see this man as a long-term partner.

The woman most certainly is not inspired to have this man’s babies.

Furthermore:

The woman finds this man easy to control.

The woman finds this man easy to manage.

If she thinks so little of this man, why does she fuck him?

Precisely because he is easy to control.

Precisely because she has no really desire to surrender to him.

Precisely because she knows she can get rid of him at any point without suffering much.

Precisely because she knows she is not going to be offering this man her heart.

Does the fuckboy have any positive qualities at all for which the woman picks him and chooses to fuck him?

Sure.  He’s probably at least a little bit pretty.

He’s probably at least decent in bed.

He’s probably ok company and looks good on her arms.

He’s better than being alone when you don’t want to be.

— Om Rupani

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IT’S DISASTROUS WHEN MEN CAN’T HANDLE THE TRUTH.

Denying reality is not a manly virtue.

My recommendation to men is that they have negative temperaments.  Be pessimistic.  Be on the lookout for disasters.  Expect disasters.

I believe this negative temperament is also a virtue of leaderships.   We expect our leaders to spot the dangers that are headed our way and to confront those dangers.

The first thing we need to accomplish that is to seek out bad news!  Bad news is filled with raw data that we can now be used to course-correct and create success.

Avoiding bad news precludes those badly needed course corrections.

— OmRupani

OmRupani.org

Evaluation Form : https://omrupani.org/mens-evaluation-course

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BURNING IN LOVE IS ONE WAY TO HEAL ABANDONMENT ISSUES

This is the path of exposure therapy.  It is the direct path to dealing with the issue.  It requires a bit of courage.  And perhaps one has to already be at a certain level of development in order to undertake this more advanced medicine.  Not everybody is ready for it.  But I see more and more people who are in fact ready for it.

One reason we are ready for it is that we are living in times of abundance.  We are not living in privation.  We are not going hungry day after day.  We are not living in fear.  We are not living day to day under fear of survival.

And the gift of these times of safety and stability and abundance is that they are an opportunity for us to examine our survival fears and to release them.

One of the biggest ways we can heal our survival fear is by detaching IMMATURE LOVE from SURVIVAL FEAR.

Let me repeat that — one of the biggest healings we need to undergo is to detach IMMATURE LOVE from our SURVIVAL FEARS.

That’s what the architecture of insecure attachment is.  That is what the nature of most people’s craving for RELATIONSHIPS is.  It is anchored in fear of survival.

As long as we keep treating love and partnerships as insurance against fear of survival, we remain scared and contracted.  We remain infantile.

There are other possibilities that exist in love apart from it being a tool for healing our childhood wounds.  One of the bigger portals that opens up for a couple when their love matures and turns away from childhood wounding is : ROMANCE!

There is a great Romance awaiting all of us when we are ready to stand burning in Love and to not let it overwhelm us with fears of the past.

—Om Rupani

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WOMEN SHOULD NOT ENTER RELATIONSHIPS THROUGH THEIR HEART

This may seem like an unconventional notion, but try it on for size.

I see the proposition of wanting the man you are having feelings towards to commit to you as a ploy for putting out the fires of the heart, not nurturing them.

Each person’s heart journey is their own.  Our heart activation is a spiritual gift.  But how do we respond when the excruciating flames of our heart get lit?

Do we foster those flames?  Do we fan those excruciating flames?  Or do we find clever ploys to put out the flames.

Most of the time, we are taking the clever and camouflaged path of containing and subduing the flames.  And by doing this, we are sabotaging our heart journey, not undertaking it.

— Om Rupani

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MANY WOMEN COACHES ARE LEECHES ON THE PAIN BODIES OF THE WOMEN THEY COACH

These coaches firmly embody the RESCUER position on the Victimhood triangle.  The Rescuer position is the most clever.  It is the most camouflaged.  It is the most sinister.  

The Rescuer is the one who is most adept at lying and deceiving.  The Rescuers commit their robberies in broad day light, in plain sight of the people they are stealing from and still manage to get away with.  They are brilliant.  It really is something to watch this open-air theft occurring all over the place.

The Rescuer manages this open-view robbery through superlative camouflage.  The Rescuer has superb mastery in being the wolf in sheep’s clothing.

It’s the robber who comes to do their job dressed as a police officer or an EMT worker.

The Rescuer is so successful at what they do, because they have learned how to LIE WITH THE TRUTH!  This requires great intelligence and skill to do!

The rescuer, like a good magician, accomplishes their feat by controlling their victim’s focus and attention.

The rescuer manipulates you by telling you what you are so desperate to hear.  By doing so they in fact make you a willing participant in the robbery.  It may be even wrong to say they rob you.  They can be so convincing, that by the time they are done with you, you voluntary hand over to them your wallet and watch and jewelry.

— Om Rupani

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WHY CASUAL SEX SUCKS FOR WOMEN

Casual sex sucks because the people who engage in the casual sex suck at sex.

Women have not acquired much sexual mastery.  Their hook-ups and casual dates have not acquired any sexual mastery.  Consequently, their sex sucks.

Neither of them knows how to activate a lover’s energetic system.  Neither of them is even present or interested in activating their lover’s energetic system.

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The second big reason Casual Sex sucks for women is that women are having the sex for the wrong reasons.  There are many wrong reasons for having sex, but one that is particularly big for women is this one : Women have sex to prop up their self-esteem.

This is a fool’s errand.  This never works.  The process of attempting this has an addictive quality.  The highs, even if you mange to get them, are soon followed by the lows.

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The third big reason why women’s sexual engagement is entirely off the mark is that they are using sex as a method or means to get the man to bond with them.  Women think having sex with a man is how you inspire him to see you as a partner, to get him to desire to go deeper with.  To make you his wife!

This is incorrect.  Sex, in fact, has nothing to do with inspiring a man to start consider a particular woman as his life parter.

—Om Rupani

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WHAT WOMEN WANT FROM MEN

This is a great conversation with my dear friends Dana & Meredith on what they are looking for in men today.

They are going to be part of the women practitioners for my upcoming course for men: Dating & Dominance For The Modern Man.

Even if you are encountering this conversation after the course date, this conversation is timeless.  And I have other courses always in the pipeline that offer men similar education and feedback from women.

— Om Rupani

OmRupani.org

www.OmRupani.org