HOW DO I A MAKE A WOMAN MISS ME?  PART 3 OF 3 - ABSENCE!

Men underestimate how important their ABSENCE is in the establishment of their value and attraction to women.  A man’s absence is the silent part of his seduction and his confidence.

Something for men to consider regarding their Absence:

It’s in your absence that a woman actually makes up her mind about you.

It’s in your absence that a woman truly gets to evaluate how she feels about you.

It’s in your absence that a woman gets to feel into how attracted she is to you.

If you are not on a woman’s mind in your absence, you should know that you have not left much of an impression on her with your presence.

The art of generating desire and interest in a woman is as much dependent on how much desire and interest she feels towards you when you are no longer in her presence.

Not understanding all this, most men under-value and under-use the power of their absence.

If you make yourself too available as a man, you are diluting the power of your absence.

If you are always reaching out and showing interest, you do the same.

If you really want to seduce a woman, if you really want to make her miss you, learn to use your Absence in a potent way.

— Om Rupani

www.OmRupani.org

www.OmRupani.org

HOW DO I MAKE A WOMAN MISS ME?  Part 2 of 3 : EMOTION!

Men often ask, ‘How do I make a woman miss me?’

Most often men ask this question after their woman has left them.  In which case, this is a useless question to ask.  Trying to make a woman who has already left you miss you is unproductive.

It’s understandable that your feelings might be hurt after you have been left.  It’s understandable that you may hope that that the woman REGRETS leaving you.  But the more productive inquiry is, ‘How do I make a woman miss me in the beginning and middle part of an ongoing relationship’…not after she has left you.

In this 3 part talk I share that there are in fact three powerful energies that you can create in your dynamic that will cause a woman to think of you, to be attracted to you, to want more with you.  These energies are:

1.  ATTENTION
2.  EMOTION
3.  ABSENCE

In the first part of this three part series, we talked about the power of Quality Attention that a man can put on a woman to build attraction.

In this talk, we go into the power of EMOTION in generating attraction.

WOMEN WANT TO FEEL!

The man who makes her feel more wins!!!

— Om Rupani

www.OmRupani.org

www.OmRupani.org

HOW TO MAKE A WOMAN MISS YOU 01 - ATTENTION

Men often ask this question after the woman has left, which makes the asking of this question rather pointless.  Hankering to make a woman miss you after she has already decided to leave you is a waste of time.  Instead, men should focus on how they might be able to make a woman miss them while they are still seducing her or while they are still in a relationship with the woman.

Asking how to make a woman miss you while she is still into you is a more fruitful inquiry.  And my answer to that inquiry is that you make a woman miss you in three ways:

1.  ATTENTION
2.  EMOTION
3.  ABSENCE

In this talk we cover the power of a man’s ATTENTION.  In the following two recordings, we’ll cover EMOTION & ABSENCE

—Om Rupani

www.OmRupani.org

www.OmRupani.org

AN INVITATION TO MEN TO MEDITATE ON THEIR WORTHLESSNESS

What do we lie about?  How do we misrepresent ourselves?  Why do we misrepresent ourselves?

Often we are lying to convey value and esteem that we do not possess.  We lie about who we are, what we are, how qualified we are so that others will think well of us.  We are stealing other’s impression of us.  

We lie to lay calm to esteem that we do not possess.

Our worthlessness becomes a big part of our SHADOW.  We then do many things to keep this shadow piece of our worthlessness covered and camouflaged.  In extreme cases, as is the case with people with Narcissistic personalities, people go to extraordinary steps to maintain this denial of one’s worthlessness.

What if we steered directly into our worthlessness?  

This is a third chakra practice we can take on.  

Let’s face our worthlessness.  Let’s sit in it.  Let’s accept our worthlessness.  

What follows from there?

Do we die?  Do we disappear?  

What is left after we have relinquished the drive to establish our worth?  

What is left after we have stopped making efforts to convey our worth to others?

—Om Rupani

www.OmRupani.org

www.OmRupani.org

CONTAINMENT IS EMOTIONAL & ENERGETIC, NOT PHYSICAL

Women are looking for emotional and energetic Containment from their men.  They want to feel held, protected, safe.  A great part of receiving this energy from men has to do with the internal constitutions of men.  If the man is weak, doubtful, too emotional, he will not be able to provide this containment to his woman.

This is a gap in their maturity that men need to fill.  They need to develop their own containment first.  This is often not occurring simply because weakness and emotionality are being presented as the new and correct template for masculinity.

Women are paying the price for this.  Men themselves are paying the price for this.  And nobody is happy.

— Om Rupani

www.OmRupani.com

www.OmRupani.org

STRENGTHEN CONTAINMENT BY CHOOSING IT 


Containment is that feeling of groundedness and integration we feel at the emotional and energetic level when someone gives us a good hug that we are very receptive to. 


We all need energetic Containment.  Women need Containment quite a bit more than Men.


Men providing this energetic and emotional Containment to their women is one of the bigger ways they can contribute to their woman’s well being and hold her well and lead her.  Women are hungry to receive this feeling from their men of feeling held, feeling protected, feeling contained by their men’s strength and ferocity.
 

Most men today are failing miserably at giving this good Containment to their women.  As a result, their women are anxious, unhappy, irate.  They may not have the language to describe that this lack of Containment is what is at cause for so much of their negative emotions, but once you understand this concept, you will be able to trace much of your man-woman breakdown to the woman not receiving the containment that she needs and wants from her man.  And most men today are lousy at providing this Containment.


The reason men are so bad at providing Containment are discussed in this conversation.  The main reason for men’s failure to provide Containment is that they are simply not focused on it.  Being able to provide Containment is simply not one of the manly virtues that men are being taught these days.


In its place, we are putting other emphasis on how men should be — we are encouraging men to be vulnerable, we are encouraging men to be feminine — none of which is actually helping men give their women what they need and want from their men.


— Om Rupani

www.OmRupani.org

www.OmRupani.org

CONTAINMENT BY OTHER NAMES

Containment is the inner feeling we have when we are feeling grounded, coherent, stable, calm, collected.

Loss of that inner Containment makes us feel discombobulated, triggered, upset, unfocused, frazzled, emotional and many other darker emotions that are often associated with old pain and narrative.

When loss of Containment occurs, our tendency is to try and track down its origin to the many different things that may be happening on the outside in our circumstances of the moment. Or we may try and track the current upset down to old pain and pattern and wounds.  Often times, this attempt to trace back the origin of our loss of Containment is not a fruitful undertaking.

When we are upset, the best thing is to come out of that upset first.  When we are feeling Un-Containted, the thing that really needs to happen next is that we need to find our way back into Containment.  Attempting to solve problems while we are Un-Contained is a bad idea.  Attempting to have conversations about our relationship with our partner while we are Un-Contained usually only aggravates the situation.

In Man-Woman relating, I feel Men have the opportunity to offer this Containment to their women when she experiences a loss of Containment.  If we could build our understanding of this phenomenon and learn how to solve it with greater skill, we could resolve a lot of ancillary problems that often get attached to the painful experience of the loss of Containment, especially in the feminine.

Some of the feelings women often describe when they are experiencing loss of their energetic Containment: 

PERCEPTIONS AND FEELINGS DIRECTED TOWARDS HER MAN:

1. Feeling Abandoned by him.
2. Feeling Dropped by him.
3. Not being able to feel her man.
4. Feeling he is not present.
5. Feeling she doesn’t have his attention.
6. Feeling not seen by her man.
7. Feeling he is not taking her seriously.
8. Feeling he doesn’t get it.
9. Feeling alone even in his company.
10. Feeling not heard.
11. Feeling disconnected.
12. Feeling he does not make her a priority.
13. Feeling neglected.
14. Feeling she is not important to him.
15. Feeling he is choosing other people and things over her.

INNER FEELINGS THAT TRIGGER LOSS OF CONTAINMENT

1. Feeling overwhelmed.
2. Feeling alone.
3. Feeling she has to handle everything herself.
4. Feeling nobody has her back.
5. Feeling unchosen.
6. Feeling unworthy.
7. Feeling things are only going to get worse.
8. Feeling panicked.
9. Feeling anxious.
10. Feeling her life situation and choices are in error.

These issues may be something real that need to be addressed in your life or your relationship , or they may not be.  But if these feelings are being experienced DURING the loss of energetic Containment, then the best, first step is to restore Containment.  Visit the relational issues afterwards.  

Often times, these feelings are emotional distortions that are a symptom of loss of Containment.  In which case, resorting Containment is the main thing that needs to happen.

-- Om Rupani
www.OmRupani.org

www.OmRupani.org

WHAT IS CONTAINMENT, AND WHY MEN SHOULD LEARN IT.

Containment is that good feeling we feel on the INSIDE of our body when someone we care for gives us a nice, grounding hug.  We welcome their touch and their embrace.  We sink into their body.  We let their groundedness ground us.  Our breathing and heart rate slows down.

We feel more calm and less anxious.  Emotionally & Energetically, we feel more Contained.

Although a physical act like a hug or other grounding touch can be very effective at creating Containment, the location of Containment itself is in our energetic and emotional body.  We all benefit and feel nourished from receiving this Containment of our emotional and energetic system.

I think women in general have a greater need for Containment, and I think men are better built naturally to provide this Containment.  Being in a dynamic where the Man is providing good Containment to his woman on a regular basis can be a very positive aspect to have in one’s relating.

Containment also plays a crucial role in the arousal dynamics of a couple.  Arousing energy is always more pleasurable and effective when it follows good Containment.  A Contained system is more receptive to arousal than an uncontained and frazzled system.  So, the understanding of this energetics of Containment is crucial for the love life and the romantic life of a couple at multiple levels.

— Om Rupani

www.OmRupani.org

www.OmRupani.org

Couples are afraid of each other's growth.  We are afraid that if our partner grows too much, expands too much, has breakthroughs, they may in fact outgrow us and leave us behind.

Couples hold each other back in order to insure their own security in the relationship. We don't always feel that our partner expanding is necessarily in our best interest.

So we hold each other back.  And the only way we can accomplish this is through lies and camouflage.  Nobody is going to step up and confess that they are making an effort to hold their partner back in life.  So we have to invent a cover and lie with skill to get the job done.

What's more, often times the lies are operating on both sides.  It's not so much that one partner is lying to another.  It's more that both partners are engaged in a conspiracy of lies to stay stuck and stagnant in their current state.

Om Rupani

www.OmRupani.org