There are MANY reasons the ego-addict part of the brain convinces us that we are entitled to escape into our addiction outlets. These can include:  I'm not getting enough sex from my spouse; I have no other way to cope with hard things; Every guy does this to some level; I've tried to quit a thousand times and it's impossible–I've resigned myself to it; You all expect too much of me–you don't want me to have a normal life; I need to be free to just be me . . . and the list goes on and on.

The question is—"Do you truly want to break out of the entitlement an d excuses that are enabling your addiction behaviors and keeping you stuck?  In this episode, Mark and Steve talk raw and real about their own experiences with "entitlement" and the first steps to breaking free.

Learn more about Mark and Steve's new online program—"Dare to Connect!" You have live access to Mark and Steve three times a week--addicts, spouses and couples! Visit—daretoconnectnow.com

Find out more about Steve Moore at:  Ascension Counseling

Learn more about Mark Kastleman at:  Reclaim Counseling Services

Want to learn more about how to move out of "toxic sex" in a marriage relationship and into "True Intimacy"?—https://www.reclaimcounselingservices.com/true-intimacy-vs-sex-in-marriage

Once you recognize that you and/or your partner are caught in a "Trauma Response," HOW can you intentionally move into a place of "Relationship Authenticity"?  Assuming you have completed and openly discussed your "trauma map," proceed as follows—

-  Take a break from the situation—the people involved and/or the environment and circumstances.

-  Pursue some sort of grounding self-care, i.e., Journaling; Talking it out with someone NOT involved; Some sort of recharging self-care (not avoidance-based)

-  Ask yourself: Why does may brain use this particular trauma Response—Where did it come from?  What does it do for me?  What might be some healthy alternatives?

-  Set a time for yourself and/or the other person to come back—Establish ground rules for how long you will work in that “trauma space;  establish ground rules for taking a break again as needed.

This episode is "Part Two" on this topic.

Learn more about Mark and Steve's new online program—"Dare to Connect!" You have live access to Mark and Steve three times a week--addicts, spouses and couples! Visit—daretoconnectnow.com

Find out more about Steve Moore at:  Ascension Counseling

Learn more about Mark Kastleman at:  Reclaim Counseling Services

Here's an article about how to HEAL from Betrayal Trauma—https://www.reclaimcounselingservices.com/healing-betrayal-trauma-video

Here's an article about overcoming porn and sex addiction—https://www.reclaimcounselingservices.com/overcome-porn-sex-addiction

There are MANY "trauma triggers" that can create great conflict, pain and difficulty between partners. If you truly desire to work on mending your relationship and/or deepening your trust, connection and intimacy, it is CRITICAL that you each learn to recognize when you are becoming caught in a "Trauma Response."

-  Why is this recognition SO important to your personal and partnership path of healing?
-  How can you learn to step back and truly "see" your trauma response in the heat of the moment?
-  What do the various manifestations of a trauma response look like?
-  How can you put together your own "Trauma Response Map"?

This episode is "Part One" on this topic.

Learn more about Mark and Steve's new online program—"Dare to Connect!" You have live access to Mark and Steve three times a week--addicts, spouses and couples! Visit—daretoconnectnow.com

Find out more about Steve Moore at:  Ascension Counseling

Learn more about Mark Kastleman at:  Reclaim Counseling Services

Here's an article about how to HEAL from Betrayal Trauma—https://www.reclaimcounselingservices.com/healing-betrayal-trauma-video

Here's an article about overcoming porn and sex addiction—https://www.reclaimcounselingservices.com/overcome-porn-sex-addiction

In this episode, Mark & Steve talk raw and real about why the traditional "New Year's Resolution" failed for them SO many times—and often had the effect of making their addictions even worse!

What is the Psychology of the New Year's Resolution?
Why do they often fail?
Why do we keep doing this to ourselves, year after year???

The KEY to success is all about realistic, reasonable, reliable systems and routines, NOT grandiose goals!

And here's the kicker--much of the process that gets us into addiction, is actually very close to the system that can get us out and move us forward to real and lasting healing and success going forward. 

Learn more about Mark and Steve's new online program—"Dare to Connect!" You have live access to Mark and Steve three times a week--addicts, spouses and couples! Visit—daretoconnectnow.com

Find out more about Steve Moore at:  Ascension Counseling

Learn more about Mark Kastleman at:  Reclaim Counseling Services

Here's an article about how to HEAL from Betrayal Trauma—https://www.reclaimcounselingservices.com/healing-betrayal-trauma-video

Here's an article about overcoming porn and sex addiction—https://www.reclaimcounselingservices.com/overcome-porn-sex-addiction

In what can sometimes be the "hellish" experience of addiction recovery and betrayal trauma healing, can we still find wonder, enjoyment and even a little "magic" in our special holidays and celebrations?

In this episode Mark and Steve will share with you a very simple formulas they have personally used and taught to others--one that can help you find joy in the "little things" which can make ALL the difference!

Learn more about Mark and Steve's new online program—"Dare to Connect!" You have live access to Mark and Steve three times a week--addicts, spouses and couples! Visit—daretoconnectnow.com

Find out more about Steve Moore at:  Ascension Counseling

Learn more about Mark Kastleman at:  Reclaim Counseling Services

Here's an article about how to HEAL from Betrayal Trauma—https://www.reclaimcounselingservices.com/healing-betrayal-trauma-video

Here's an article about overcoming porn and sex addiction—https://www.reclaimcounselingservices.com/overcome-porn-sex-addiction

Everyone faces different kinds of STRESS in everyday life. But, when we're in addiction recovery or healing from betrayal trauma, that stress is often multiplied and magnified! Then add on top of all of that "holiday stress" and you have a recipe for some daunting challenges!

In this episode Mark and Steve talk about how crucial it is to have a personal and couple-ship "Bill of Rights." Learn how to draw the line, set boundaries and stand up for yourself and your relationship in the face of life stresses.

Learn more about Mark and Steve's new online program—"Dare to Connect!" You have live access to Mark and Steve three times a week--addicts, spouses and couples! Visit—daretoconnectnow.com

Find out more about Steve Moore at:  Ascension Counseling

Learn more about Mark Kastleman at:  Reclaim Counseling Services

Here's an article about how to HEAL from Betrayal Trauma—https://www.reclaimcounselingservices.com/healing-betrayal-trauma-video

Here's an article about overcoming porn and sex addiction—https://www.reclaimcounselingservices.com/overcome-porn-sex-addiction

Although we can't quite believe it, this is PBSE's 100th Episode!!!  Thank you to all our listeners who made this possible! It would never have happened without YOU!

In this episode, we talk about a SUPER important part of recovery and healing--HOW do we find HOPE in the midst of the immense struggle of addiction and the deep pain of betrayal trauma? Come with us as we explore Real Stories of Hope!

Learn more about Mark and Steve's new online program—"Dare to Connect!" You have live access to Mark and Steve three times a week--addicts, spouses and couples! Visit—daretoconnectnow.com

Find out more about Steve Moore at:  Ascension Counseling

Learn more about Mark Kastleman at:  Reclaim Counseling Services

There are plenty of situations where an addict spouse wants to have sex all the time. There are situations where the spouse suffering from betrayal trauma does not feel safe having sex with their sexually addicted spouse, even when that spouse is in successful recovery.

But what about a situation where a spouse is yearning for the healthy connection of sex, but her husband in recovery will NOT engage with her sexually?

In this episode, Mark and Steve address a PBSE listener who submitted a question about this very scenario that is taking place in her life and marriage.

Learn more about Mark and Steve's new online program—"Dare to Connect!" You have live access to Mark and Steve three times a week--addicts, spouses and couples! Visit—daretoconnectnow.com

Find out more about Steve Moore at:  Ascension Counseling

Learn more about Mark Kastleman at:  Reclaim Counseling Services

Curious about "why" porn/sex addicts do the kinds of things they do? Check out this article—https://www.reclaimcounselingservices.com/brain-science-porn-sex-addiction

Want to learn more about how to move out of "toxic sex" in a marriage relationship and into "True Intimacy"?—https://www.reclaimcounselingservices.com/true-intimacy-vs-sex-in-marriage

A PBSE listener recently sent in a situation and question—

He has been in recovery and "clean" for a year. At one point during that year of recovery, his wife admitted to having an affair while he was in recovery. His question is—"How do I help my wife trust me again while I'm also having trouble trusting her?"

- Why does "mutual betrayal" happen???

-  This is a VERY complex form of trauma and requires a very specific and comprehensive approach to healing. An "outside" support system is CRITICAL!

-  Underneath all the pain, a couple can learn to "mutually empathize" with each other.

-  Through this painful process, as a couple you can learn that you have a "mutual enemy" and you can "have each other's backs" in fighting that enemy. 

Learn more about Mark and Steve's new online program—"Dare to Connect!" You have live access to Mark and Steve three times a week--addicts, spouses and couples! Visit—daretoconnectnow.com

Find out more about Steve Moore at:  Ascension Counseling

Learn more about Mark Kastleman at:  Reclaim Counseling Services

Here's an article about how to HEAL from Betrayal Trauma—https://www.reclaimcounselingservices.com/healing-betrayal-trauma-video

We know—the title of this episode is INSANE!!!  But it comes from an actual question sent in by a PBSE listener—

My partner and I are STUCK. We have been separated for almost a year now but living together for financial and child reasons. I have told him that he has to break up with his affair partner before I will agree to couples counseling. That goes without saying that I will not welcome him back to our bed without breaking up with his AP. He will say to me that he will break up with this AP but only if I can show him effort that I still want him. He tells me that I am the one that has given up on him and our marriage because I won't go out of my way to set up dates with him, agree to cuddling and physical affection. My heart is PLEADING for him to want our marriage over his addiction. Am I being too stubborn with my boundary that he give up his girlfriend before couples counseling? Some days I feel like I am drowning in heart ache and indecision. A huge part of me knows it's time to talk divorce but a part of me still yearns for the connection I know we could have—Help!

Listen as Mark and Steve get SUPER PASSIONATE in their response to this situation!!!

Learn more about Mark and Steve's new online program—"Dare to Connect!" You have live access to Mark and Steve three times a week--addicts, spouses and couples! Visit—daretoconnectnow.com

Find out more about Steve Moore at:  Ascension Counseling

Learn more about Mark Kastleman at:  Reclaim Counseling Services

Curious about "why" porn/sex addicts do the kinds of things they do? Check out this article—https://www.reclaimcounselingservices.com/brain-science-porn-sex-addiction

Want to learn more about how to move out of "toxic sex" in a marriage relationship and into "True Intimacy"?—https://www.reclaimcounselingservices.com/true-intimacy-vs-sex-in-marriage