Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg and I talk about...

- What is developmentally typical for 2-year-olds when it comes to manners and patience?

- Understanding impulse control, joint attention, and attunement - and how to use these 3 things to help you know how to respond to your child when they are demanding your attention.

- When to pause to validate your child's desire, and when it’s okay to ignore their request.

- How to help your child tolerate waiting (no matter how big their reaction is to being told they need to wait.)

- How to collaboratively problem solve with your child to come up with strategies around what they CAN do to interrupt you when they need your attention. 

ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about parenting a toddler with the co-authors of the Terrific Toddlers series, Carol Zeavin and Rhona Silverbush

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about responding to your child who loses their cool when they get frustrated

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about appropriate consequences when your child doesn't listen to you

🎧 Listen to my podcast about how to keep your child from becoming a spoiled brat

WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:

Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!

What role do early attachment relationships play in shaping who we become? In this episode, Dr. Alan Sroufe, a pioneering researcher in attachment, shares decades of insights from his groundbreaking longitudinal study.

Together we explore:

- How Dr. Sroufe’s research answered the question: Do early experiences leave a lasting legacy?

- Why resilience isn’t just about thriving in the face of adversity, but is deeply rooted in the strength of attachment relationships.

- The importance of early relationships in helping children develop a sense of safety, positive self-worth, and durable relationships.

- A hopeful message that attachment isn't fixed and that secure relationships in adolescence and adulthood can change developmental trajectories, even after challenging childhoods.

- Why the quality, not quantity, of time with your child matters most (and what babies can teach us about connection).

- How parents can help shape the meaning children make of their world and guide them through challenges with empathy.

Dr. Sroufe’s work shows that while early experiences are never erased, they’re always building blocks for growth—and recovery is always possible.

READ THE BOOK DR. ALAN'S RECOMMENDS PARENTS START WITH:

📚 A Compelling Idea: How We Become the Persons We Are

ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES:

👉🏻 Click HERE to download my free guide, The Four Pillars of Fostering Secure Attachment, helping you parent with a focus on attunement and trust.

GET MY ON-DEMAND COURSE FOR PARENTING SENSITIVE CHILDREN:

👉🏻 Learn more about Parenting by Design, my guided program for increasing behavioral and emotional regulation in sensitive kids.

CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:

🎧 Breaking the cycle of insecure attachment: How to support your child's secure attachment even if you didn't grow up with it with Dr. Miriam Steele

🎧 Secure attachment is optimal, but insecure attachment may not be as bad as we think with Dr. Or Dagan

🎧 How to use the principles of attachment science to make parenting easier

🎧 Can my kid be securely attached to me if I'm insecurely attached in my adult relationships?

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Emily Upshur and I talk about...

- It can be tricky to maintain relationships when you’re in different stages of life from your friends and it’s common for some to atrophy after you become a parent. 

- Unpacking all the feelings you may have about this: fear, guilt, grief, and more!

- Practical strategies for creating a simple routine that is easy for you to maintain, but will also allow you to keep these relationships from going too long without any checkins. 

- When you are changed by motherhood, you may slip into black-and-white thinking with regard to your friendships. We offer you a perspective shift you can use to challenge that.

- How to check in with yourself so you can understand the root of your desires for connection, which will help you create realistic anchors that will actually meet your needs.

- Time management and scheduling hacks that can help you be intentional about protecting the time you do have.

- How to repair bonds with friends who may feel hurt, slighted, or abandoned by you.

ARE YOU A MENTAL HEALTH PROFESSIONAL?

Go to upshurbren.com/IFSTraining to register for The Good Mom/Bad Mom Loop, a 3-hour workshop on 2/27 designed to teach professionals how to integrate Internal Family Systems concepts into maternal mental health services to provide improved support for moms.

ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about the science of “mom-rage” with Diana Winston

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about identifying and managing your triggers with Dr. Amber Thornton

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about finding balance with Chelsi Jo

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about overcoming parental burnout

WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:

Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!

Discover how maternal mental health care is evolving and why specialized support is critical for mothers with Paige Bellenbaum, LCSW, PMH-C and Rebecca Geshuri, LMFT, PMH-C.

In this episode we explore:

- What dyadic work is and how this can be especially beneficial for mothers and birthing people for developing a bond with their child.

- How Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy can support mothers in addressing their inner “mom parts” that contribute to feelings of failure and overwhelm.

- How polarized parts and perfectionism can create distress in motherhood and how embracing a “both-and” mentality can offer relief and self-compassion.

- The questions to ask when looking for a provider to ensure they’re trained in maternal mental health and understand the complexities of this life stage.

- Why it's so important for pediatricians, OBGYNs, or anyone who often comes into contact with birthing parents to have even a basic understanding of this transformative experience.

Whether you’re a mother seeking support, a professional working with birthing parents, or simply someone invested in breaking the stigma around mental health and motherhood, this episode is filled with practical insights you won't want to miss.

REGISTER FOR THE TRAINING ON FEB. 27:

Go to upshurbren.com/IFSTraining to register for this 3-hour workshop designed to teach professionals how to integrate Internal Family Systems concepts into maternal mental health services to provide improved support for moms.

LEARN MORE ABOUT THE MOTHERHOOD CENTER:

https://themotherhoodcenter.com/

LEARN MORE ABOUT REBECCA:

https://www.rebeccageshurilmft.com/get-to-know-me

ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES:

• Postpartum Support International

• Ghosts in the Nursery: A Psychoanalytic Approach to the Problems of Impaired Infant-Mother Relationships

LISTEN TO PAIGE & REBECCA'S PAST EPISODES:

🎧 Using Internal Family Systems to emotionally support mothers with the creators of The Mothercentric Approach

🎧 Preventing tragedy and shining a light on postpartum psychosis: What it is, what it's not, and how to find support for yourself or a loved one with Paige Bellenbaum

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Emily Upshur and I talk about...

- How to best approach daycare transitions and is there a right or a wrong answer to this question? 

- The most important questions to ask yourself to determine which of these scenarios will be easiest for your unique child.

- Is it better to have a single, potentially steeper transition or a slower, more incremental transition?

- The key things to consider (like sleep habits, separation anxiety, etc.) to help you determine which is best for your individual situation.

- Zooming out to see how this change will impact the entire family system and adding these factors into your decision making process.

REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES:

📚 Transitioning to a new daycare

ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about turning parenthood into a career asset with Lauren Smith Brody

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about helping child with separation anxiety

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about being a working parent with Daisy Dowling

WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:

Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!

Neha Ruch is sharing strategies for embracing flexibility as you balance, shift, and grow in both your career and parenthood.

In this episode we explore:

- How to redefine what “career” means to you at this stage of life and navigate the evolving roles of being a working or stay-at-home parent.

- Why downshifting your career can be a valuable smaller step if you're not ready to take a full pause.

- Preparing for this transition to feel less overwhelming—emotionally, financially, and in terms of your shifting identity.

- Supporting women in feeling validated and respected in their choices to dial up or down in their careers.

- How motherhood can be a time to foster creativity and the importance of staying connected to what brings you joy—whether it's for work or personal fulfillment.

- A good first step for moms who don’t know where to begin in making this shift.

- What a “family administration” meeting is and how to evaluate what’s working and what’s not—giving yourself permission to let go of what isn’t serving you.

Don't miss this episode that will help you redefine what career means to you!

LEARN MORE ABOUT NEHA:

https://www.motheruntitled.com/

READ NEHA'S NEW BOOK:

📚 The Power Pause: How to Plan a Career Break After Kids--and Come Back Stronger Than Ever

ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES:

🎧 Listen to Neha's first Securely Attached episode, Redefining what it means to be a stay-at-home parent with Neha Ruch

📱 I sang my sister’s praise in this episode! Check out @mychicnest to follow along with her interior design account.

CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:

🎧 Going back to work after baby: Maintaining a healthy and secure attachment bond Q&A with Dr. Emily Upshur

🎧 Turning parenthood into a career asset for working moms and dads with The Fifth Trimester’s Lauren Smith Brody

🎧 What it means to be a working parent today: Challenging parental guilt, managing your time, and setting effective boundaries with Daisy Dowling

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Emily Upshur and I talk about...

- Unpacking your own feelings about swearing (or any undesirable behaviors) your child is engaging in.

- How to teach your child to attune to their environment and know when and where certain behaviors are appropriate and when and where they are not.

- Zooming out to identify what your child’s intention is when they are swearing (to test boundaries, in anger, in silly moments, etc.) to help you know how to respond.

- When and how to use strategies that have the greatest likelihood of getting this behavior to stop.

- A playful script that can defuse the tension and keep you from feeling triggered. 

- The big differences to the approaches you may want to try based on who is the recipient of inappropriate or hurtful language.

- How to get your children to disengage from each other’s negative behaviors, instead of being fueled by each other.

- How Dr. Sarah and Dr. Emily handle swearing in their own homes with their kids.

- The benefits of swearing that may surprise you.

REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES:

• Swearing may be a sign of a higher intelligence

• Cursing can increase pain tolerance 

ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about what to do when kids say they hate themselves

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about what to do when kids say they hate you

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about enforcing consequences that teach

WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:

Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!

A deep dive on combating parental burnout to start off 2025 with more balance.

In this episode I dive deep into…

- Understanding what parental burnout actually is and how it is different from regular “stress” in parenthood?

- The pros and cons of the rise of the “Parenting Industrial Complex.”

- The output/input formula that will inevitably lead to depletion, and why parents of sensitive children are more susceptible to an imbalance in this equation.

- An exercise you can use to address (and flip!) your personal output/input equation to create more balance for yourself.

- Taking a Family-Systems approach to addressing and treating parental burnout.

- How parental burnout can impact the parent-child relationship, leading to more dysregulated behaviors from our kids, us losing our cool, and creating a self-perpetuating negative feedback loop.

- Why traditional self-care strategies don’t work for combatting parental burnout, and my recommendations for practical, realistic, and attainable strategies that actually do!

LEARN MORE ABOUT DR. SARAH BREN:

https://drsarahbren.com/

FOLLOW DR. SARAH ON INSTAGRAM:

@drsarahbren

ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES:

• The Surgeon General Report: Parental Mental Health & Well-Being 

• In one study, Parents whose children experienced anxiety or ADHD had two to four times higher risk of experiencing parental burnout (anxiety: OR, 2.54; ADHD: OR, 4.41) compared with those whose children had no anxiety or ADHD. [1]

• Addressing systemic problems with Raena Boston, Lauren Smith Brody, and Alexis Barad-Cutler

• Encouraging your child to engage in independent play

CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:

🎧 Quit the never-ending to-do list: How to find balance in the home, at work, and in parenthood with Chelsi Jo

🎧 Is fun the antidote to burnout? How play could be the key to mental health and well-being with Dr. Mike Rucker

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about...

- Translating the question: I don’t want a sibling may actually just mean, “I miss you.”

- Zooming back to assess the environmental factors that may be taxing your child, especially when there are a lot of transitions and changes going on.

- How to change the narrative in your young child’s mind so they don’t associate losing quality time with Mommy and Daddy to having more siblings.

- When to simply validate your child’s feelings and when to know if it’s time to try to make some changes.

- A script of exactly what you can say to help your child feel more contained and regulated in these moments.

- Why helping your child feel seen in the moment can foster their secure attachment, which may end up indirectly solving the problems you're experiencing.

ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about secure attachment and growth mindset with Melinda Wenner Moyer

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about how to work with the brain rather than fight against with Dr. Dan Siegel

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about whether it's bad to "baby" the baby

WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:

Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!

Discover how to use the power of play to strengthen your child’s emotional regulation and foster meaningful connection, with Dr. Abbré McClain and Dr. Jacqueline Salazar.

In this episode, we explore:

- How play and relationships can be foundational elements for teaching kids emotional regulation skills.

- Why coregulation doesn’t have to be so serious and can be employed through play and playfulness.

- The therapeutic function of play interventions and how they work in play therapy.

- How to adapt play strategies for different developmental stages and unique children.

- Why playing with your kids is different from entertaining them, and how child-led play can be less exhausting for parents.

- Quality over quantity: How even small moments of playfulness can make a big difference in strengthening parent-child bonds.

If you’re looking for practical ways to build emotional regulation skills while bringing more joy and connection into your family’s life, this episode is filled with actionable insights to get you started!

LEARN MORE ABOUT:

• Dr. Abbré McClain

• Dr. Jacqueline Salazar

READ THEIR BOOK:

📚 The Self-Regulation Workbook for 3- to 5-Year-Olds: Play-Based and Creative Activities to Build Coping Skills and Handle Big Emotions

FOLLOW US ON INSTAGRAM:

📱@chicago.wellness.center

📱 @drsarahbren

ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES:

👉🏻 Download my free guide, Strengthen Your Child's Emotion Regulation Skills Through Play, to help your child learn to calm their brains and bodies.

CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:

🎧 Understanding parental dysregulation: How to identify and manage your triggers with Dr. Amber Thornton

🎧 Supporting our children's emotional regulation and sensory processing experiences: With occupational therapist Laura Petix

🎧 The psychology behind dysregulation with Cara Goodwin

🎧 Teaching children emotion regulation skills through coregulation with Dana Rosenbloom