Securely Attached

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about...

- How to incorporate the parenting knowledge you’ve acquired without losing sight of your own gut instincts. 

- Understanding what your job as a parent is when your child feels thwarted (and why making them stop yelling might not be your true end goal)

- Unpacking the underlying question of: What do I do if my child is screaming volitionally as a manipulation tactic?

- Whether your child is in a full-blown tantrum or just slightly dysregulated, the key strategies for addressing their underlying struggle.

- How to respond to the behaviors (like yelling, eating, spitting, etc.) that you have no true control over.

- How to find that middle space between not making your child feel responsible for your feelings without having to abandon all your own needs.

👉🏻 GET MY ON-DEMAND COURSE FOR COMBATTING TANTRUMS:

Learn exactly how to reduce the frequency, intensity and duration of your child's tantrums in my self-paced course, The Science of Tantrums.

📚 READ Rebecca's book on managing your child's tantrums, The Tantrum Survival Guide

WANT TO LEARN MORE ABOUT DYSREGULATION:

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about the difference between a tantrum and a meltdown

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about parenting a "threenager"

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode with a step-by-step guide for changing your child's behavior

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode answering the question: does teaching my kid to punch a pillow when they're mad make them more aggressive?

WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:

Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!

Kim Mishkin is here to shed light on Project-Based Learning, an education model that encourages kids to explore, problem-solve, and collaborate in ways that tap into their natural curiosity and interests.

In this episode we explore:

- What Project-Based Learning (PBL) is and how it differs from the standard American education model.

- The origins of the PBL model and what current research reveals about its efficacy for educating kids? 

- Why allowing children to help shape the direction of their curriculum reinforces their motivation to learn and fosters curiosity.

- How core academic subjects like reading, writing, and math are covered with a PBL approach.

- Will kids who have been educated in a PBL elementary and middle-school be able to successfully transition to a standard American academic high-school or college environment?

- Ways parents can integrate elements of the PBL approach into everyday life, helping to build critical thinking and curiosity in their children, even outside a PBL school.

If you’re curious about alternative education models or looking for ways to inspire a love of learning in your child, this conversation is packed with insights you won't want to miss!

LEARN MORE ABOUT HUDSON LAB SCHOOL:

https://www.hudsonlabschool.com/

ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES:

👉🏻 PBL Works

📚 Project Based Learning (PBL) Starter Kit

🎥 Most Likely to Succeed

CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:

🎧 Debunking the myth of learning styles: What the research actually says are the best ways to teach our children with Dr. Dan Willingham

🎧 The hidden dangers of an achievement centric approach with Jennifer Breheny Wallace

🎧 Fostering independent play and a love of learning with Lizzie Assa

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg and I talk about...

- Is it developmentally appropriate for my 3-year-old to start to mimic their friends' behaviors?

- How to approach differences when our kid’s friends or our family friends have different rules and limits than we do.

- A conversation you can have with your child after they spend time with their friend and you start to see behaviors that you do not allow in your house - and how these can lead to larger conversations about peer pressure as they get older.

- Zooming back to determine what your larger goals are will help you know what to focus on and what to let go of.

- If you’ve ever wondered, “How can I get my kid to listen to me, especially in a highly exciting situation?” we’ll give you a precursor that you may be skipping that could help!

- Dr. Rebecca shares her #1 golden rule of all child playdates.

- Dr. Sarah shares her 4 S’s for how to make playdates most successful.

ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about appropriate consequences when your child doesn't listen to you

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about using consequences intended teach, not punish your child

WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:

Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!

Let's revisit the foundation of raising securely attached kids! I'm bringing back one of my first ever episodes to help parents understand the basics of how a secure attachment bond impacts children's resilience, confidence, and overall well-being.

Tune in to hear:

- What secure attachment is and how it plays a key role in nurturing a child's confidence, curiosity, and ability to handle life’s ups and downs.

- The powerful influence of feeling safe and seen on a child's ability to be honest, adaptable, and resilient.

- Practical strategies for fostering secure attachment, no matter the age of your child.

- How attachment affects a child’s development into a compassionate, kind individual who can build meaningful relationships throughout their life.

This episode offers science-backed insights and actionable tips and is a must-listen for all parents!

SHOW NOTES:

(link)

INTERESTED IN LEARNING MORE ABOUT ATTACHMENT SCIENCE?

Click HERE to download my free guide, The Four Pillars of Fostering Secure Attachment, helping you parent with a focus on attunement and trust.

LEARN MORE ABOUT DR. SARAH:

https://drsarahbren.com/

FOLLOW DR. SARAH ON INSTAGRAM:

https://www.instagram.com/drsarahbren/

CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:

🎧 Breaking the cycle of insecure attachment: How to support your child's secure attachment even if you didn't grow up with it with Dr. Miriam Steele

🎧 Secure attachment is optimal, but insecure attachment may not be as bad as we think with Dr. Or Dagan

🎧 Can my kid be securely attached to me if I'm insecurely attached in my adult relationships?

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about...

- Unpacking what you consider to be a “chore” versus what is just an expectation of your child as a member of the household.

- How do you teach your child to do chores (and why you may need to remind them to do it over and over and over again!)

- At what age is it appropriate to expect your child to be able to accomplish tasks like chores?

- How to take advantage of routines when it comes to setting expectations and creating habits with your child.

- Being intentional about looking for opportunities where your child can help out that are aligned with your family values.

- Will giving chores decrease your child’s intrinsic motivation? (And why it’s not so black and white)

ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about unlocking motivation with Dr. Ellen Braaten

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about balancing the load of parenthood with Lauren A. Tetenbaum

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode that busts positive parenting myths with Tracy Gillett

WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:

Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!

Get science-backed strategies to raise kids who are compassionate, kind, and successful in today’s chaotic world with Melinda Wenner Moyer.

In this episode, we explore:

- How becoming a parent shifted Melinda’s attention to applying science and research to answer her most pressing parenting questions

- One of the most surprising and counterintuitive things Melinda learned when she started to dig into the research on parenting.

- How to approach challenging topics, like race, authentically and in age-appropriate ways without needing a “script.”

- Diving into Carol Dweck’s research study using fixed vs growth mindset language with kids and how it affected their perseverance (Spoiler: Kids who were given fixed mindset messaging showed less resilience.) 

- Why kids lie, the best ways we can respond when they do, and how this can impact how likely they are to be open with us as they get older.

- How attachment security impacts our kid’s ability to be confident, curious, flexible, and compassionate 

If you’re looking to raise kind, resilient kids who feel safe being honest with you, this conversation is filled with insights to help you make that happen!

LEARN MORE ABOUT MELINDA:

https://www.melindawennermoyer.com/

READ MELINDA'S BOOKS:

📚 How to Raise Kids Who Aren't Assholes: Science-Based Strategies for Better Parenting--from Tots to Teens

📚 Hello, Cruel World!: Science-Based Strategies for Raising Terrific Kids in Terrifying Times

JOIN MELINDA'S SUBSTACK:

📖 Is My Kid the Asshole?

FOLLOW US ON INSTAGRAM:

📱@melindawmoyer and @drsarahbren

ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES FROM THE EPISODE:

1. Read more about Carol Dweck

2. Watch the Instagram reel we talk about: Teaching my boomer mom about gentle parenting 

CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:

🎧 Raising conscious kids: A thoughtful exploration of bias, cultural identity, and diversity with Dr. Dana E. Crawford

🎧 The hidden dangers of an achievement centric approach with Jennifer Breheny Wallace

🎧 Raising emotionally intelligent sons: Parenting boys to combat "toxic masculinity" with Ruth Whippman

🎧 Debunking the myth of learning styles: What the research actually says are the best ways to teach our children with Dr. Dan Willingham

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode Dr. Emily Upshur and I talk about...

- Unpacking what “shy” really means and exploring the space between shyness and social anxiety.

- When to encourage your child and push them out of their comfort zone versus when it's better to respect their boundaries.

- Thinking of shyness as a feeling and not a character trait - plus a script for how to articulate that distinction to your child.

- Why young children may act more shy around other kids, especially in environments like a playground.

- The different levels of support you can use to stretch your child with specific real-world examples of how this may sound and play out.

- Saying hello is a common struggle many “shy kids” face. We're discussing whether or not you should force them to say hello.

- Different parenting approaches and strategies to try based on your child’s age.

ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about temperament and personality with Dr. Koraly Pérez-Edgar

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about why birthday parties may be challenging for your child

WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:

Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!

In honor of ADHD Awareness Month, we're talking about how mindfulness can reduce symptoms of ADHD with Dr. Lidia Zylowska.

In this episode we explore:

- Does having ADHD make it harder to engage in mindfulness and meditation practices? (Spoiler: Yes, but there are things we can do about that!)

- What the research reveals about mindfulness in teens and adults with ADHD and the science of how a mindfulness practice strengthens neurological deficits in the brain.

- Parenthood requires so much executive functioning, sensory stimulation, and stress, so often this is when the strategies we’ve been using to manage symptoms of ADHD fall apart.

- Concrete strategies, like the best time of day, introducing aspects of physicality, and logistical considerations for how to incorporate mindfulness practice into your life when sitting still feels too difficult or daunting.

- Tips for identifying what helps you personally feel less flooded that can serve as your go-to’s when things start to feel scattered, stuck, or overwhelming.

- The importance of self-compassion in mindfulness and how this is an often overlooked, yet key piece of mindfulness practices.

If you're curious about how mindfulness can make a real difference for those with ADHD, this episode is a must-listen!

LEARN MORE ABOUT DR. LIDIA:

https://lidiazylowska.com/

READ LIDIA'S BOOKS:

📚 The Mindfulness Prescription for Adult ADHD: An 8-Step Program for Strengthening Attention, Managing Emotions, and Achieving Your Goals

📚 Mindfulness for Adult ADHD: A Clinician's Guide

WATCH LIDIA'S YOUTUBE VIDEOS:

💻 MindfulRxADHD

ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES:

👉🏻 ADDitude

👉🏻 Children and Adults with Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (CHADD)

👉🏻 Attention Deficit Disorder Association (ADDA)

GET MORE SUPPORT:

👉🏻 Go to upshurbren.com if you're interested in resources for you or your child with ADHD, including individual, group, parenting support, and neuropsychological evaluation services tailored to your unique needs.

CHECK ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:

🎧 The benefits of mindfulness: How to use this practice for ourselves and our children with Diana Winston

🎧 The science of “mom-rage” and how to use mindfulness as a as a tool for being less reactive with Diana Winston

🎧 ADHD and attachment security: How to connect with and support your neurodiverse child with Dr. Norrine Russell

🎧 How do I help my child with ADHD utilize school support systems without feeling embarrassed or self-conscious?

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode Dr. Emily Upshur and I talk about...

- What are the advantages of telehealth appointments and the ability to do virtual sessions from anywhere.

- Do the full range of emotions and subtle nuances get lost when you’re talking through a screen? (Spoiler: Our brains fill in so much it often feels like we’re in the same room.)

- What to consider to determine if virtual therapy may not be the best option for you.

- The different levels of interventions and the types of support that can match up with each.

- If you are doing virtual therapy, how to maximize the experience and specific strategies to implement to make your sessions most effective.

- What is the difference between therapy and mental health coaching and what are the different rules for each based on the state you live in.

REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES:

👉🏻 If you're interested in exploring our therapy and coaching support services, feel free to reach out to us at Upshur Bren Psychology Group for a free 15-minute consultation so we can suggest a treatment plan for your unique needs.

ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about newborn sleep with Greer Kirshenbaum

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about staying mindful in postpartum and early parenthood with Dr. Kira Bartlett

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about going back to work after maternity leave with Lauren Smith Brody

WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:

Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!

Here to talk about the unique challenges that come from pregnancy and postpartum with multiples is the founder of Gold Coast Doulas, Kristin Revere.

In this episode we explore:

- What exactly is a doula and how can doulas be helpful for expecting and postpartum parents, especially for those with multiples?

- Understanding the emotional, physical, and logistical stress associated with having twins or triplets.

- Resources that are available and insurance coverage options broken down for those seeking access to doula care (whether you're having one baby or more).

- A framework—including the most important questions to ask—when looking for a doula that can meet your family's unique needs and best support you.

- The difference between a night nurse and a postpartum doula and what to consider to determine what type of care would be best for your family.

- Baby registry tips, postpartum strategies, and what an average day with a doula supporting multiples may look like.

If you've ever wondered what a doula does and how they can help, especially if you're expecting multiples, this conversation is for you!

SHOW NOTES:

(link)

LEARN MORE ABOUT KRISTIN & GOLD COAST DOULAS:

https://www.goldcoastdoulas.com/

READ HER BOOK:

📚 Supported: Your Guide to Birth and Baby by Kristin Revere and Alyssa Veneklase

LISTEN TO HER PODCAST:

🎧 Ask The Doulas Podcast

ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES:

Fertility, birth, and postpartum insurance and care resources:

- Carrot

- Progyny

- Maven

- Tricare

- MomsBloom

🤳 DOWNLOAD my free postpartum mental health checklist

💻 WATCH my free workshop, Confident Parenting from the Start, to get tools and strategies that you can put into practice right away to challenge self-doubt, put an end to your panic-Googling, and finally find the ease and enjoyment in early parenthood!

👉🏻 JOIN ME in The Authentic Parent, my comprehensive self-paced course that takes my workshop to the next level and teaches you everything you need to know (that no one tells you ahead of time) for how to confidently move through your first year of parenthood.

CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:

🎧 Maternal mental health throughout pregnancy and parenthood with birth doula Carson Meyer

🎧 Rethinking the birth plan: How to create a plan with your OBGYN that supports resilience and reduces anxiety with Dr. Shieva Ghofrany

🎧 NICU survival guide: Establishing a secure attachment even when your child is in the hospital with the founders of NICU Nook

🎧 Beyond postpartum depression: A breakdown of all PMADs

🎧 Becoming a grandparent: Embracing the complicated identity shifts that come when your baby has a baby with Carol Merle- Fishman