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When we were drinking, alcohol was our solution.  It was not just our problem.  Once we got sober, we had to find a solution to life's problems since our old best friend was taken away.  The next level of sobriety is not just being dry, but to have control of how you feel.

In this episode, John, Steve and Matt talk emotional sobriety and what it means to them:

• Being ok feeling the emotion, but not having to lash out and having control
• The place the 12 steps play
• Prayer and how a higher power can help
• Letting go and how it's hard

Cantina Blues - Take the Lead by Kevin MacLeod is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 4.0 license. https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/

Source: http://incompetech.com/music/royalty-free/index.html?isrc=USUAN1100407

Artist: http://incompetech.com/

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Eric found him self on the kitchen floor, drunk and getting sick.  It was a low place for him and took another two weeks before he found his way to a rehab.  He ended up in the hospital with blood clots and was lucky to be alive.  Looking around, he realized they saw him as just another drunk and he accepted it too.  He was just another drunk.

Against all odds, Eric found a way to stay sober through the help of his 12 step program.  In this episode:

• Eric talked about his faith, the role prayer takes in his life and how praying has helped him overcome resentments
• Posting a video each day, for a year, reading from the 24 hour book and how it helped someone close to him
• Driving a big star from the airport, having to make the first stop, a run to the liquor store

Eric's story is inspiring and we think you'll find so much to identify with.

Cantina Blues - Take the Lead by Kevin MacLeod is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 4.0 license. https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/

Source: http://incompetech.com/music/royalty-free/index.html?isrc=USUAN1100407

Artist: http://incompetech.com/

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📫 Get more honest conversations about sobriety delivered to your inbox! Subscribe to The Sober Friends Dispatch, our weekly newsletter where we go beyond the podcast to share real strategies for alcohol-free living. Join our community by clicking here.

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Howard’s MO early in AA was to come late, leave early and if anyone said anything he didn’t like, he’d just get up and leave.  Howard’s soulful belief was that AA did not work and he was going to prove it.  

Just when Howard was about to give up and drink, the fellowship grabbed him and as he headed out the door, asked, “Have you thought of trying it our way?”  

That day changed everything for Howard and has has not had a drink since.

Howard L has been sober since January 1, 1988.  In this podcast Howard discusses:

• How his first pass through the fourth step scared him and how he got through it with the help of a sponsor
• What what inaction caused Howard’s sponsee’s to fail
• How do determine what an actual harm is
• The expectations on amends
• What got him into podcasting
• What the Traditions say and don’t say about anonymity
• That he believes we are spiritual beings having a human experience

Howard L is the host of two podcasts, AA Recovery Interviews and The Big Book Podcast.  You can find them wherever you get your podcasts or:
https://recoveryinterviews.com/
https://www.bigbookpodcast.com/

Cantina Blues - Take the Lead by Kevin MacLeod is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 4.0 license. https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/

Source: http://incompetech.com/music/royalty-free/index.html?isrc=USUAN1100407

Artist: http://incompetech.com/

Support the show

📫 Get more honest conversations about sobriety delivered to your inbox! Subscribe to The Sober Friends Dispatch, our weekly newsletter where we go beyond the podcast to share real strategies for alcohol-free living. Join our community by clicking here.

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Mr Know it all

It's a common refrain for not only the active alcoholic, but for some of us in recovery.  We overcompensate for our insecurities by puffing out our chests so you won't see our insides.

There are lots of people who are egomaniacs.  We in recovery are fortunate enough to have a program of action that walks us through how to get this under control.

It's one of the reasons we have a higher power in our lives, to remind us we are not God and that the more normal and average we are, the better we move through life.

Cantina Blues - Take the Lead by Kevin MacLeod is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 4.0 license. https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/

Source: http://incompetech.com/music/royalty-free/index.html?isrc=USUAN1100407

Artist: http://incompetech.com/

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Resentments are a killer of alcoholics.  When we have a resentment, we are replaying an old memory that may or may not be accurate.  Getting sober means finding a way to work through those emotions and the faulty way we used to perceive them.  In recovery, we have to find a way to handle the bad stuff that comes our way and do it in a way that is healthy and does not cause us to drink.  You can’t be a victim to your circumstances.

https://www.amazon.com/Never-Enough-Neuroscience-Experience-Addiction/dp/0385542844

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Everything I ever wanted to know when I got in my 12 program, I learned from my sponsor.  The greatest gift to your own sobriety you could ever give yourself, is reaching out the helping hand to someone else sick and suffering.  They may not stay sober, but you sure will.

In this episode, John, Matt and Steve talk about Sponsorship.  That first meeting can be scary and you can be paralyzed with fear.

• Where do I sit?
• What do I say to the other people at the meeting?
• I'm new.  Am I allowed to get coffee?
• When do I raise my hand?

These might sound like silly questions, but I'm sure you were upside down at your first meeting.

Is AA not your thing?  Sponsorship is something you can carry over.  If you are experienced in recovery, you can always lend a hand to someone new and guide them.

Cantina Blues - Take the Lead by Kevin MacLeod is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 4.0 license. https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/

Source: http://incompetech.com/music/royalty-free/index.html?isrc=USUAN1100407

Artist: http://incompetech.com/

Support the show

📫 Get more honest conversations about sobriety delivered to your inbox! Subscribe to The Sober Friends Dispatch, our weekly newsletter where we go beyond the podcast to share real strategies for alcohol-free living. Join our community by clicking here.

Send us a text

When Mike C was drinking, he always told himself, if it got that bad, he’d be able to stop. When it did get that bad, Mike found he could not.  On the surface, Mike's life was what you’d normally would say was the envy of everyone, but he felt was dead inside.  Mike was fortunate to have someone come into his life and told him he did not have to feel this way and there was a life beyond drinking.  Mike stayed connected to the program, shared the message with others and had good sobriety for five years.   And then he took back control, dialed back his meetings and the misery crept back in.

Though Mike did not relapse, he did have to find ways to re-engage with his program.  Have you ever felt bored with recovery?  Start to feel that after a period of sobriety, meetings and the things you did to get sober, started to feel stale?  Mike shares a cautionary tale that may help you if you feel this way.

Cantina Blues - Take the Lead by Kevin MacLeod is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 4.0 license. https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/

Source: http://incompetech.com/music/royalty-free/index.html?isrc=USUAN1100407

Artist: http://incompetech.com/

Support the show

📫 Get more honest conversations about sobriety delivered to your inbox! Subscribe to The Sober Friends Dispatch, our weekly newsletter where we go beyond the podcast to share real strategies for alcohol-free living. Join our community by clicking here.

Send us a text

Mark S from the Recovered Cast Podcast at https://recoveredcast.com/ is the sponsor of this episode.  Mark bought us a coffee at https://www.buymeacoffee.com/soberfriendspod. 

Matt used this episode to ask for help from his Sober Friends John I and Steve C.  Matt has a few things going on in his life:

• Burnout
• Struggles with his higher power

Through the episode, Matt discovered, these issues go together, along with the character defect of perfectionism.  He felt everyone else has a strong relationship with a higher power and he does not.  For this episode, Matt, John and Steve discussed the finding of God, or however you chose to call this Spirit of the Universe, is a journey that takes effort and practice.  There is no destination.

Matt also is dealing with burnout.  He has a day job in addition to the podcast and is having a tough time balancing work, family and the show.  The boys chimed in with advice that will help the newcomer along with anyone else in the journey of sobriety. 

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Step 12 says, having had a spiritual awaking as a result of these steps, we carried the message to the alcoholic still suffering and practice these principles in all of our affairs.

Wait, I thought this was about stopping drinking?  So I have to use these principles in my life outside of drinking?  I'm not sure I signed up for that.

What we've learned through the steps is our daily living.  Drinking was the solution to the root cause.  Applying the principles we found in recovery is not a band aid, it's the solution to the root cause so we don't have to drink anymore. 

It can be hard to give yourself over to a new way of living that will make the drink an unnecessary part of your life.  Join John, Steve and Matt as they talk about how they make the 12 steps the thing that improves their life, daily.

Did you notice the new name?  We are now Sober Friends.  We just wanted to share this message to as many people as possible and the "right" name makes it more searchable.  It's the same great sober talk as before.

Find at https://soberfriendspod.com.
Instagram https://www.instagram.com/soberfriendspod

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📫 Get more honest conversations about sobriety delivered to your inbox! Subscribe to The Sober Friends Dispatch, our weekly newsletter where we go beyond the podcast to share real strategies for alcohol-free living. Join our community by clicking here.

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I'm not drinking anymore!  I'm sober!

Well, not so fast.

John, Steve and Matt tell their own tales of what sobriety means to them and how it differs from just being, "dry."

For us, the feeling of being dry, is just the removal of alcohol with no treatment in place to become sober.  Dry means that our behaviors have not changed.  We continue to have the same character defects that caused drinking in the first place.  We become a drunk that's just dry.

Being sober is something totally different and in many ways, the absence of alcohol is only plays a minor part.  Everything in your life changes and you work on your own personal issues.

We go in detail on the difference and how to make a great sober life.

Did you notice the new name?  We are now Sober Friends.  We just wanted to share this message to as many people as possible and the "right" name makes it more searchable.  It's the same great sober talk as before.

Find at https://soberfriendspod.com.
Instagram https://www.instagram.com/soberfriendspod

Support the show

📫 Get more honest conversations about sobriety delivered to your inbox! Subscribe to The Sober Friends Dispatch, our weekly newsletter where we go beyond the podcast to share real strategies for alcohol-free living. Join our community by clicking here.